Reply to Dating with driving kids

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Dating with driving kids"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would never have that kind of rule. My main priority is that my child feels welcome in THEIR home whenever they want regardless of the custody agreement.

It's disturbing how you call it "my house."[/quote]

Oh please. Of course it is my house. I pay for it and maintain it. Kids don't get to run roughshod, whether you're sharing custody or not. [/quote]

So where is their home? I don't think picking up something they needed is "running roughshod". Most parents do not ban their children from the home when the children are scheduled to be elsewhere. If they had a sleepover that fell through or an away game that was cancelled, would you bar the door? Tell them it's Boyfriend Time and My Home Not Yours? This is no different.

You are making your children feel unwanted and inconvenient in what should be your last precious years together. They will not forget.[/quote]

I hate when posters like you can't make a solid argument without making stuff up. No one is banning anyone. It's common courtesy to send a text saying, "I forgot something. I'm on my way to get it." I get to decide who I spend time with in my house. I make decisions about that just like I make decisions about what improvements to make, what furniture to buy, what security system to install. One day, they can make those decisions in their own homes. Just because I have rules and boundaries in my home, it doesn't mean I'm neglecting them or making them feel unwanted (what the actual hell?). But I would also never hide my BF in my house either so there is that.
[/quote]

[b]It's something that intact families don't require of their children.[/b] And it's something that people who aren't hiding their boyfriend wouldn't care about. If you like your boyfriend just introduce them. It's fine. [/quote]

Broken families operate differently than intact families. They literally can't do otherwise. [/quote]

It's more like, how many losses and burdens do you want to pile on your kids? They've lost their intact family. They're having to do joint custody. Now they're having to get permission before coming to their "home" on off days... At some point it's too much, right?[/quote]

No. It's really not "too much" to ask a kid to text if they plan on changing their schedule and being in one home when they're supposed to be with the non-custodial parent. That's literally minimal effort basic courtesy. If you're going to change plans, you communicate. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to communicate like an almost-adult.

No wonder some of your kids are so fscking stunted. The excuses y'all make!!![/quote]

You sick selfish fool. Do you text when you change plans and come home? Do you text when you forget your keys or something else and have to turn around and come home?

The child lives there. It is their freaking house. I always say it's not divorce that destroys kids; it's sick selfish parents like you who would make your child feel like a visitor in their own home so you can eff strangers.  Sex is not that important. And if it is to you, you should never have had kids.

You idiots will claim how children of divorce are doing " just fine" while you render them strangers in both homes by asking them to give you a heads-up to come to them. [/quote]

You poor, traumatized little idiot. If I'm 5 minutes out and I forgot my keys, no, I probably don't text. If I'm not supposed to be there at all and I'm coming home, I'd absolutely text. [b]The child does not live there 100% of the time; [/b]the child is expected to be with the non-custodial parent.

It's not divorce that destroys kids. The kids are fine. YOU, on the other hand, are a sick, stunted little traumawhore, addicted to your pain, demanding that everyone center your bizzaroland narrative, a figment of your own imagination based on a remnant from your childhood you've been ruminating over for decades. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head that you can't follow the thread, but that has nothing to do with me and your vitriol is not only misplaced, but further evidence of your psychological instability. An instability that, as a grown-ass adult, you're choosing to cling to.

Get help.[/quote]

The bolded must be very convenient for you. 😆 [/quote]

Are you trying to shame someone for not wanting to spend 100% of their time with their kid? You must not have teens.  :lol: Yeah, it's convenient af that they can drive themselves to their social events, and even pick up groceries on the way home. If you expect me to have a problem with that, what a bummer for you. I don't. At all.

Go rock your newborn. They're still cute and snuggly at that age and it goes fast. As they get older it's your job to let them go. If you have teens and you're this clingy/guilt-trippy/shamey, then I pity your poor children. Drop the leash![/quote]

It's not about whether the teens want to spend time with you. It's about them knowing that they are welcome anytime because it is their home. It does not matter that they don't live there 100% of the time. It is as much their home as it is yours.
[/quote]

It's not a horrific burden to text first. My kids are in college. If they're coming home, they're welcome, and they should give me some heads up so I'm there and ready to greet them (or can make other plans). That's not unreasonable. Shared spaces require communication. [/quote]

Roommates who leave and forget something aren’t required to text that they are returning to their own space. Some of you made up fake rules. It’s okay to want these rules, but no it’s normal to expect people to text that they are unexpectedly returning to their home.[/quote]

Roommates who don't want to see their roommates in flagrante delicto would be wise to text, and usually do for anything that isn't the quick "forgot something" turnaround. Similarly, children who are expected to be at their other parent's home (or sport practice, or school event, or...) would be wise to text that they've changed plans and are heading home. It's not a horrific burden, it's a simple courtesy that serves all parties involved.

Why you would not only fail to teach your kid this but also rail against it as if it were some sort of evil is beyond me. This is basic communication.[/quote]

Children are not wise. That's why they are children under adult care.. As the adult, you find the work around.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics