I’m the 40yo who dates 25yos. Funny how triggering that was for some people (and happy to see other women who also date younger! Life is too short to not go after what you want).
To address what people have brought up: 1. I know 25 year olds will bang anything. Who cares? I’m way past needing to prove my worth through getting commitment/marriage from a man. Men typically aren’t that picky about who they marry so I don’t see commitment as a good indicator of one’s value. 2. Yes, I often pay. Again, I don’t need a man’s money to prove my worth. I already earn more money than most men. My priorities with men are physical attractiveness, charisma, and playfulness. I want to have fun, not get free meals. If a guy pays (and many do because they get their own validation from it), great. If not, no problem, I’d rather pay for a weekend getaway with a guy who has a six pack than go on a free trip with a guy with a potbelly. I do like to go on a lot of last minute trips when my kids are with their dad (last week went to Laguna Beach), so I like someone who has the flexibility to accompany me. That’s usually younger men. A 55 year old attorney with 3 kids can’t do what I want to do. 3. I don’t find it hollow or meaningless. I’m well past needing “true love” to feel fulfilled and statistics show married women are the unhappiest. I can still have feelings for the men I date and vice versa - there *is* affection, care, tenderness, etc. Usually more than men give once in a LTR, and they stop trying because they “got” her. One of the men I’m dating is 30, literally spends hours kissing my body all over, after sex we’ll cuddle and talk for 1-2 hours, and we say ILY to each other because we do love each other, but not in the “get married and have kids” way. WAY better than a 50yo who will struggle to get it up, doesn’t know what foreplay is, and immediately rolls over to go to sleep. It’s not for everyone, and I’m not saying all women should do this. Everyone should do what is right for them. And right now, settling down with a 50-something man is definitely not right for me. Maybe one day, but not today. |
Love this, especially #1. Who cares that men are dogs? Older men are dogs too, so why would that stop you from dating younger men if that is who you like? If you are getting what you want and they are getting what they want, that's wonderful! - Signed, woman who is not attracted to younger men. |
Men have checked out. A lot of the men I know are happy to stay single and play poker or whatever with their male buddies on the weekends. Women are no longer worth a lot of heavy effort or investment in their view. Older men in particular who have been burned in a divorce are pretty cynical and just want their peace. Maybe dip into a dating app here and there for some fun, but they're protecting their peace. |
“ I’m the 40yo who dates 25yos.”
When I was 25, I would have considered dating a 40yo weird and creepy. Ewww, grandma. Never knew a guy my age who dated that old - would have thought he was a loser who couldn’t pull girls his own age. |
Because they already abandoned family life and their spouse well before the sex dwindled to nothing. Sex (within marriage, not ONS or casual) is the output of safe, happy, respectful, connected relationship. |
The 40 y.o. now look much younger than they did when you were 25. |
Don’t see that. See older divorced men pitching themselves as victims of their demanding ex wife, kids, and marriage. Now they are free, free to love and be loved again! Prove to everyone they are the best! Just like at work! Rinse and repeat. |
This. Gen Z embraced body positivity, which is great, but most are overweight. They also tend to wear clothes, makeup, and hair that ages them quite a bit (along with getting massive amounts of fillers prematurely). 40s women nowadays can look amazing if they workout, get Botox, and style themselves right. I know women who are 50 and look 30 because of the incredible cosmetic work they’ve had done. Sexual attitudes are also very different for young men nowadays than they were 20-30 years ago. I was pretty shocked when I got back on dating apps in my 40s - MANY younger men are focused on pleasing a woman and find an older woman who knows what she likes and can direct them desirable. When I was in my 20s, men were focused on getting themselves off first and foremost. |
No ****, you just have exposure to a much different crowd. Plenty of men your age care about their woman's pleasure first and foremost. |
**** and always have - hit enter too soon ![]() |
I never said men in their 40s/50s don't. I said that when we were that age, men were primarily focused on their own pleasure, which explains partially why they would not have been interested in older women 20 years ago. Young men nowadays are more interested in pleasing women than men of my generation were at 25, so they care less about age. But nice name calling. Someone's triggered, LOL. |
If you’re a woman in your 40s (or 50s I guess) and you want young guys to find you sexy in bed, the most important thing is how smooth your skin and flesh feel to the touch. I once tried to do the deed with a beautiful slim woman of that age when I was 20 but once her clothes were off everything felt so leathery and slack that I had to call it a night. |
It's not name calling, though they would sensor sh*t - Again the crowd you see on a dating app is different the crowd you met in personal locally in your 20s. I'm saying that those same men were out there, but not advertising it on dating apps like today. Guessing you were in a different point in your life then too, meeting vastly different people. |
You are very emotionally stunted. Makes sense your level is someone 20 years younger. It’s very weird. I’d assume he was out hiking with his mom. lol |
No one cares what you think, Grandpa. Did you read what PP wrote? She does not give an Eff, and she does not need validation from you. |