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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Is dating just a means to an end for 50+ men?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55. She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him. She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now). She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want. [/quote] As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man? [/quote] Pure speculation, but you'd get high energy, openness, less cynicism more optimism, more fun-loving and not yet weighed down by life. [/quote] Exactly. The optimism is truly refreshing.[/quote] So true! I’m the PP that just came back from a date with a young man. Another 26 y.o. man is planning a date at a restaurant with me and texted tonight: “I’m sure it’ll be a great date! We’ll have a great time and go on more dates in the future”. [/quote] I mean- anyone can be someone’s string free fetish. And do your thing- it’s very self Validating after the blow to one’s ego that divorce offers- but it’s a phase. It’s fluffy and sexy and feels powerful but it’s really just a phase. It’s ultimately purpose serving- if hallow and possibly partially regrettable (especially if you drink. I recommend staying sober for the first year or two or dating just to ensure that whenever you take your clothing off it’s because you want to- not because your sorrow and beer goggles are telling you to. Get it out of your system now and eventually you’ll tire of young men and taking them places. Once you realize you can just go on vacation and get equally great cock without paying a sidekicks bill- you’ll evolve. I’ve found it very empowering to know that while I *can* attract younger men with a cougar bent, or validate my self worth by bragging about the ages of my boyfriends- I prefer to take what I want, not what I can get. YMMV. I want an equal partner, not a boy toy, and don’t see boy toys as glory rings to collect and flaunt. Instead I see them as a hollow (delicious) way of scratching a sexual itch. [/quote] Well, I have no plans to pay for them. The guys I engage with are college educated, with the good white collar jobs. I’m sure they can pay their own restaurant bills, especially since they were the ones who invited me. I also don’t consider them “boy toys”, they are very smart and self-sufficient men, most of them own their own houses. [/quote] “Most of them”- you are dating/have actually met and verified that a majority of the 25 year old (hot athletic educated) llooking to date and pay for dates with 45 year old divorcees are men who own their own homes? That’s extraordinary and off trend given current t home ownership prices and interest rates- only 25 and homeowners with time to online date- this is amazing! Do you live in the DMV? [/quote] I’ve met with the two hot, athletic, educated men thus far, 29 and 37 y.o. They do own single family houses, and it’s not in the DMV. The 26 y.o. guy rents a place together with his friend, and he is just super sweet as a person. I’m also about to meet with a 43 y.o., he is divorced and also owns a house. Yesterday I matched with a 32 y.o., also hot, athletic, educated, but don’t know his housing situation yet. I’ve been on the dating app for about ten days thus far, just sharing my experience. [/quote] You plan to run a train on both the roommates? Do they call you “mommy”?[/quote] I don’t plan on anything yet, besides great conversations and hiking with all of these guys. I haven’t dated anyone yet, since separating from my husband of 24 years earlier this month. These guys are just a nice happy distraction at this moment. [/quote] You are very emotionally stunted. Makes sense your level is someone 20 years younger. It’s very weird. I’d assume he was out hiking with his mom. lol [/quote]
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