DH Bought a Gun

[Anonymous]

NP And what if she had tried to discuss these boundaries with her spouse and he still decided to proceed? This is a serious issue, what is the right approach? I know a couple where they had such a discussion, he was not comfortable in that case and she still went ahead and brought home guns hiding them from her spouse for a while until he found out. But he could not do anything at that point, like the earlier poster said "better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:no less dangerous than a kitchen knife. Actually knives are more deadly within 20 ft.
Gun does need to be in the safe and he can get a barrel lock as well for extra safety. If/when kids show interest you should be open to taking them to a gun instructor and having them trained properly in gun safety and operation. That will remove the excitement from it.

This is all rational advice, which is completely contrary to what the harpies want. They want to project all kinds of issues not present in OP or the subsequent posts in order to recommend she divorce her husband.

You just talking to yourself? Calling people “harpies” because they don’t want toddlers around guns is a new one, but says more about you than pps who want to keep their children away from the #1 killer of children.

Please stop misleading others. The #1 cause of death of children is accidents (without reference to firearms).

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/child-health.htm

What a disingenuous post. It is well known that firearms are the leading cause of death of children, more than car accidents or childhood cancers. Many of those deaths are 'accidental' so they fall into that category on the CDC website which is now run by an ammosexual administration which isn't inclined to break down the details on firearms deaths anymore than it is to publish truth about vaccines and other public health issues affecting children.

https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2024/guns-remain-leading-cause-of-death-for-children-and-teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dad was both in the military and a physician. He'd both had extensive firearms training and treated bullet wounds, including those in children. He was extremely firm on proper gun safety. You do not leave it assembled. You do not leave it loaded. You do not leave it unlocked. You lock ammunition separately from the gun with separate codes, so it a kid cracks one, they don't Crack another.

Your husband is an idiot. An unloaded gun that's disassembled and stored in separate safes with ammo in separate safes is useless. And it's unnecessary to go that far for the purpose of supposed "safety".

Fun fact: kids can be taught gun safety at an extremely early age.

Yes to keeping ammo separate, but keeping the gun disassembled is not normal, nor a suggested safety standard

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:He's taken up shooting as a hobby in the past few months and recently decided to purchase a gun. He came home with it without discussion. We have elementary age kids, and I just don't want it in the house. He doesn't care, says it's for his hobby and he'll keep it locked up. Am I unreasonable? Is he?

Not discussing it with you is a major red flag. What was he hiding. He may be planning to eliminate you.
You should be concerned about your safety. Keep your eyes open.

Oh for the love...

It's not like he snuck it in. He goes shooting. She knows this. It's kinda hard to have shooting as a hobby without a gun. This is a reasonable, hobby-linked purchase that he disclosed.

You sound unhinged.

You don't understand why someone wants to discuss a significant and dangerous purchase BEFORE he brings it home?

I know all you gunphobic types are gonna find this hard to believe, but guns are inanimate objects. They don't get up and walk around, shooting people. The gun, in and of itself, isn't dangerous. How it's treated, how it's stored, how the kids are trained to address it... these things create (or negate) the potential harm.

The gun is inert until acted upon.

Yup, like by toddlers shooting other toddlers or themselves.

Or teenagers. https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2025/05/22/dc-teen-killed-social-media-accidental-shooting/

This is such a sad story - and there were adults in the home while she was playing with a loaded firearm on social media, how nice. I hope they are charged and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

I shared a very personal anecdote early in this thread about the worst thing I ever did in my life - pointing a shotgun at some other kids who were bullying me mercilessly for months. A shotgun I retrieved from my father's locked gun cabinet.

Nobody made a single comment on that post, that I can find.

It appears you are all wallowing in the ignorance or delusion that affects so many parents in this country - the delusion that your precious snowflake could never, ever do anything remotely of the kind. Never mind that we have kids from all socioeconomic backgrounds taking guns to school and killing their peers and often it is because they are acting out after being bullied or ostracized in the social cesspool of our schools.

My family was solidly middle class and WASP, inclusive of weekly church attendance. My parents were not great parents, but this kind of thing happens in families where the parents ARE good parents by any reasonable measure.

Y'all are fools for not considering the very obvious reality that guns and children are not a healthy mix - that minor children should never, EVER, have access to firearms and ammunition without a responsible adult actively supervising. Period.

You think it can't happen to you, but it absolutely can.

[Anonymous]

Why has your husband taken up shooting as a hobby? Red Flag for sure. Is he depressed? How is your marriage and your finances?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

[Anonymous]

I did not read this entire thread however, my advice is for him to not only lock up the gun, but always make sure that it is cleaned and empty and have the bullets locked up in a completely separate area. You should never have a loaded gun in the house. Especially with the elementary school kids.

[Anonymous]

If his hobby is shooting and it’s not for other reasons that he wants a gun, he keeps his gun at the range. Like they do in other, sane countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Listen...

There are responsible gun owners, who keep them in locked safes, and there are yahoos. Get me the figures on responsible gun owners with guns that were stolen from their locked safes by toddlers and then I'll understand and agree with your wackadoodle paranoia posting.

The dude bought a safe with the gun. The only reason there's a problem is he didn't get a permission slip from his paranoid, anti-gun wife. He's had this hobby for a while now. Why did she show zero interest? Why wasn't there a discussion upfront about where the gun boundaries were going to be when, you know, he started being interested in guns? And now she wants to whinge because he did a logical thing responsibly? And she posts it here, expecting the typical anti-gun paranoia-prone posters to immediately defend her?

OP sounds stupid. If it's important enough to freak out about, YOU have that conversation. This can't be considered a surprise, OP's spouse has been 100% upfront about it, and OP isn't a child. If it matters to her, she should've had these conversations upfront instead of getting mad at her spouse after the fact for not meeting her unspoken expectations.

It is perfectly reasonable for an adult with a gun hobby to responsibly own a gun and a safe. The problem here is OP.

No. The person bringing a gun into the home is the one responsible for bringing up this conversation. You sound like an absolute baffoon to think OP should be a mind reader and pro-actively bring up a random situation she never expected. It is 100% HIS responsibility to discuss this purchase with his spouse.

[Anonymous]

How horrifying. Divorce!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That thing would get dropped off at the police station. You brought it home without asking me. I got rid of it without asking you. Fair's fair.

You sound like a fscking child. Grow up and learn how to have a conversation about your boundaries upfront instead of asking your family members to ask your royal permission or face your immature petty nonsense. Use your words.

Funny how you don’t say that about the husband? Sexist AH.

[Anonymous]

He must buy a safe and not keep ammo with the gun.
Gun owner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gun lives at t the range. Woman here and don’t mind guns, they live at the range where they are used and handled properly. If he won’t do that, teach your kids gun safety and consider divorce. Then mandate and decide how hard to fight if he prioritizes the gun over his family. Husband has considered a gun bc I was attacked and I say no even with that. Parents have guns and fine w gone safety protocols including acceptable mental health protocols

What range do you patronize that provides ongoing firearm storage service?

Only a gun club would provide that service. But you are paying a lot more than the gun he bought to be a member.

Owning a gun safely is not that hard - there are things called safes you bolt into your floor, wall or both that are nearly impossible to break into…and the people that could break into it aren’t wasting their time for a $600 Glock.
No kid is getting, that is for sure.

And yet, thousands (tens?!) of children do in fact get in there each year. You are wrong for claiming 100% success when there are so so so many gun deaths per years.

Sigh. NP. The kids who get ahold of guns aren't going through multiple safes, fingerprint triggers, etc. They're accessing guns that are carelessly stored. That was PP's point.

And it only takes one time to forget, or a kid to see the code (or find it written down). These are not foolproof, and you are being delusional to be so staunchly sure that would *never* happen to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If his hobby is shooting and it’s not for other reasons that he wants a gun, he keeps his gun at the range. Like they do in other, sane countries.

+1
No one has said why this is not a viable idea, they just choose to believe it doesn’t exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP And what if she had tried to discuss these boundaries with her spouse and he still decided to proceed? This is a serious issue, what is the right approach? I know a couple where they had such a discussion, he was not comfortable in that case and she still went ahead and brought home guns hiding them from her spouse for a while until he found out. But he could not do anything at that point, like the earlier poster said "better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission".

I'm sure she would've put that in her rant, if it had happened, which it didn't. OP had big feelings she didn't take responsibility for communicating, and now she's trying to blame her spouse for not mindreading and doing what she wanted automagically. It's immature, at best.

And there's a big difference between "knows spouse is against it, does it anyway, and hides it" and "does thing as an adult without getting another adult's unnecessary permission first". Miles of difference. Light years, even.