It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

The funniest part will be when the so called meaning of your life abandons you in old age and you die alone because everyone hates you for the lowlife, terrible parent that you probably are. Your kids secretly hate you and would love nothing better than to cutoff all ties.

So true unfortunately!

So you all didn't become parents because you know you would be terrible at it? Definitely a wise move to not have kids knowing you would have failed miserably.

Better than actually having them and failing miserably. Look at the foster care system. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I think everyone without kids thinks that this is absolutely the best life. Then you have kids and realize it gets better. Do I miss my childless days? Always. But in a way that I am grateful for that chapter but also grateful for the next chapter. Life without experiencing parenthood is incomplete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

The funniest part will be when the so called meaning of your life abandons you in old age and you die alone because everyone hates you for the lowlife, terrible parent that you probably are. Your kids secretly hate you and would love nothing better than to cutoff all ties.

So true unfortunately!

So you all didn't become parents because you know you would be terrible at it? Definitely a wise move to not have kids knowing you would have failed miserably.

DP. I decided against them because of my personal mental health struggles that run in the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

The funniest part will be when the so called meaning of your life abandons you in old age and you die alone because everyone hates you for the lowlife, terrible parent that you probably are. Your kids secretly hate you and would love nothing better than to cutoff all ties.

So true unfortunately!

So you all didn't become parents because you know you would be terrible at it? Definitely a wise move to not have kids knowing you would have failed miserably.

Better than actually having them and failing miserably. Look at the foster care system. Good luck.

So true. Or just the family relationship board here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

The funniest part will be when the so called meaning of your life abandons you in old age and you die alone because everyone hates you for the lowlife, terrible parent that you probably are. Your kids secretly hate you and would love nothing better than to cutoff all ties.

So true unfortunately!

So you all didn't become parents because you know you would be terrible at it? Definitely a wise move to not have kids knowing you would have failed miserably.

Better than actually having them and failing miserably. Look at the foster care system. Good luck.

Yeah, so many kids in foster care from upper middle class homes with two educated married parents. I'm so worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting, when I meet dinks my ago (50’s) who still work I think…. Where did you go so wrong?

If I had no kids I’d have retired at 40, have multiple houses and travel the world.

Some people just like working.

lol, no.

Some people can’t stand being alone with themselves and lack passions for anything, so they work.

Few actually have a calling and are saving the world.

The rest just go to work because they don’t know what else to do with themselves.

As someone who just retired, with a kid in their 20’s….it is not like that “child” is still providing me with much company. They are busy living their own life and I am on my own when it comes to activities, travel companions, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting, when I meet dinks my ago (50’s) who still work I think…. Where did you go so wrong?

If I had no kids I’d have retired at 40, have multiple houses and travel the world.

You sound very smug and spoiled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone without kids thinks that this is absolutely the best life. Then you have kids and realize it gets better. Do I miss my childless days? Always. But in a way that I am grateful for that chapter but also grateful for the next chapter. Life without experiencing parenthood is incomplete.

I try to stay open minded and believe you can live a good and fulfilling life without kids BUT this was definitely my personal experience. But I became a mom later in life (38) so I had lots of time to experience and enjoy the DINK lifestyle. It was great. But being a mom is better (for me). I was amazed especially in those early years at how much I enjoyed doing incredibly mundane things and living a pretty circumscribed life because I had to accommodate a baby or toddler. But I just love my child so much that even just staying in to hang out felt rewarding. And as my kid has gotten older that feeling has deepened AND I've regained some of my freedom -- things get a lot easier once your kids are school age.

To me it is was similar to getting married -- you give up some freedoms but you barely notice because in exchange you get to spend your life with someone you love. And with kids it's even easier in my experience because it's easier to love a child you created than an adult.

I had my years of traveling year round and going out to eat all the time. Seeing concerts on weeknights. Sleeping in until noon on Saturday. It was great! I would not want to spend the rest of my life living that way. Becoming a parent has allowed me to evolve as a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people say this, they’re usually just messing with you or preemptively trying to make you feel better about your childlessness. No one actually thinks you did it right. The friend you mentioned with the disabled son just sounds like a loser though.

It's definitely this. People don't know what else to say and are trying to find something nice so they settle on expressing fake envy. But they wouldn't trade places for anything.

+100000 I make a big deal about some of my single friend’s travels. They post a lot of photos of their first class flights and I will tell them how jealous I am. I’m just trying to be nice. I also fly business internationally and can’t imagine being in a place where I need to show off about it.

Kids are a PIA and expensive but it’s the only way to have a true family. Most things in life worth it require hard work and sacrifice.

Nah, most of the people posting about all their travels are parents/families/moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might say something like this without meaning it, because secretly I feel sorry for you and your empty life.

Or, you're just angry and bittter that settling and down and having a family is just 'something you do', like getting good grades and going to college. You never really gave it much thought. That's why it seems so frustrating for you when others around you choose to not have children because you didn't know that was an option. You didn't know you could be happy without having children.

So this! Like a pp said…sheep following sheep without much thought.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you are taking this comments way too seriously. They are telling you what you want to hear. Of course having kids kinks your ability to vacation and some days are truly hard but raising kids is something you will never understand without actually doing it. At the end of my life I will not think about how many vacations I went on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people say this, they’re usually just messing with you or preemptively trying to make you feel better about your childlessness. No one actually thinks you did it right. The friend you mentioned with the disabled son just sounds like a loser though.

It's definitely this. People don't know what else to say and are trying to find something nice so they settle on expressing fake envy. But they wouldn't trade places for anything.

+100000 I make a big deal about some of my single friend’s travels. They post a lot of photos of their first class flights and I will tell them how jealous I am. I’m just trying to be nice. I also fly business internationally and can’t imagine being in a place where I need to show off about it.

Kids are a PIA and expensive but it’s the only way to have a true family. Most things in life worth it require hard work and sacrifice.

Nah, most of the people posting about all their travels are parents/families/moms.

That's because they are still the norm. There aren't that many DINKS out there. So most of the people regardless are parents/families/moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be honest OP: you're really 33 and have another decade of fertility, and you're likely going to have children.

I wish the media/socials would stop overusing the word DINKs and limit it to the people who are truly DINKs for life. ie, they're 55 years old, or both partners have had tubal ligation/hysterectomy/vasectomy.

(yes, I know families can be formed in many ways and vasectomy can be reverse. but at least this is a tangible sign you're deeply committed rather than an attention seeking Gen Z)

I recently saw a reputable survey that said more than half of young women did not want to be parents, whereas more than half of young men wanted to be parents.

I know someone will ask me to post a link, but I don’t feel like searching for it . The point is that I found those data to be disturbing and also indicative of the fact that as a society, we make the experience of parenting much more appealing for men than for women (in 2024).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might say something like this without meaning it, because secretly I feel sorry for you and your empty life.

Or, you're just angry and bittter that settling and down and having a family is just 'something you do', like getting good grades and going to college. You never really gave it much thought. That's why it seems so frustrating for you when others around you choose to not have children because you didn't know that was an option. You didn't know you could be happy without having children.

I feel like this was true a generation ago but is much more rare now. People have kids later and have fewer kids and I think are much more intentional now. I don't know very many people who had kids without thinking now. And even those that do -- it works out for the sometimes too. With birth control people have choices now and it's not like it was for my parents who were expected to marry and have kids by their early 20s. I think a lot of people from that generation wound up hating parenthood.

[Anonymous]

They are joking, you dumbo.