Mom brings 11 yr. Old son in women's changing room at pool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not your child, not your business. You have no idea why they made that choice. Parents are doing the best they can. Please leave them alone.

+1 and agree with PP that not all special needs are immediately obvious

No, you’re not doing the “best you can,” when you have the option to simply change into your swim suit or whatever at home and arrive ready to walk directly through to the pool or gym. THAT is the best you can do. Again, lifelong swimmer who knows there is no reason you “have” to use the locker room at all, you can simply be changed already and walk through. And you can shower at home.

Obviously they have locker rooms for people to use whether you like it or not MYOB

My own business is protecting myself and my kids as we use public spaces properly. I’ve stood up to this kind of crap and got a drama mom and her hapless kid kicked out and I will do it again if needed.

[Anonymous]

I have two boys. They’ve been going into the men’s locker room to get changed by themselves (with me waiting outside) starting at age 6-7. This is when the pool is only open for the swim program they were in, so just other kids and their families there. Bringing them in to the women’s locker room would not even occur to me. I think I only did that when they were babies/young toddlers, and rarely.

I understand it can be different when the pool/gym/rec center is open to the public. Why even put your kid/yourself in that situation? Go to the gym at some other time when your kids are at school or whatever. Sign them up for things that aren’t during times a facility is open to the public. Or... just don’t use the locker room at all if you’re that paranoid. Special needs, trans, whatever… there’s no valid reason for it. You may feel you have a “right” to bring your kid who’s way too old into the opposite sex locker room, but you better be prepared for other people’s reactions to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think young kids should be in a locker room alone.

Just google locker room assaults.

https://wjla.com/news/local/woman-alleges-rape-assault-inside-wilson-aquatic-center-locker-room-97400

These are not young kids.

When your 11 yr old is raped in a locker room, lets so how old you think they are.

For moms who think it’s too dangerous for an 11 year old boy to use the men’s locker room at the pool…

1) How do you determine when they can start using men’s locker rooms? What age/size/milestone will make the risk acceptable to you?

2) What do you say to your sons about why they can’t use the men’s locker room? Do you tell them that men’s locker rooms are high risk places for sexual assaults?

3) Do you worry at all about teaching your sons, who will grow up to be men, that men are dangerous and be regarded with suspicion?

4) If you regard adult males as unacceptably risky for your 11 son to change with, can you understand that young girls view your son as just a few years shy of being one of those dangerous men, and therefore do not feel comfortable changing around him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've discussed this before and most agree that using a family changing room, if available, or bring boys already in swim trunks. An 11 yr old, who is not SN, should not be brought into women's changing room at pool or restroom in a public place. Personally, I do not even thing a SN 11 yr. old boy should be in women changing room or rest room.

https://nypost.com/2024/04/05/lifestyle/mom-divides-parents-after-bringing-her-11-year-old-son-into-a-womens-changing-room/

I stopped swimming at the indoor MLK pool in the winter because I teach 6th grade and moms were bringing their 10-11 year old boys into the women’s changing room. I don’t want a current or future male student to see me naked or in my underwear. In the summer, I just wear my damp suit home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think young kids should be in a locker room alone.

Just google locker room assaults.

https://wjla.com/news/local/woman-alleges-rape-assault-inside-wilson-aquatic-center-locker-room-97400

These are not young kids.

When your 11 yr old is raped in a locker room, lets so how old you think they are.

For moms who think it’s too dangerous for an 11 year old boy to use the men’s locker room at the pool…

1) How do you determine when they can start using men’s locker rooms? What age/size/milestone will make the risk acceptable to you?

2) What do you say to your sons about why they can’t use the men’s locker room? Do you tell them that men’s locker rooms are high risk places for sexual assaults?

3) Do you worry at all about teaching your sons, who will grow up to be men, that men are dangerous and be regarded with suspicion?

4) If you regard adult males as unacceptably risky for your 11 son to change with, can you understand that young girls view your son as just a few years shy of being one of those dangerous men, and therefore do not feel comfortable changing around him?

Wow you have some anxiety going on here. Do you see your DH as a potential rapist or is it just everyone one else including children who are upcoming rapists? Have you considered keeping your DH away from your DD and her friends? Or maybe you conceived thru immaculate conception and no man needed! :lol: :lol:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think young kids should be in a locker room alone.

Just google locker room assaults.

https://wjla.com/news/local/woman-alleges-rape-assault-inside-wilson-aquatic-center-locker-room-97400

These are not young kids.

When your 11 yr old is raped in a locker room, lets so how old you think they are.

For moms who think it’s too dangerous for an 11 year old boy to use the men’s locker room at the pool…

1) How do you determine when they can start using men’s locker rooms? What age/size/milestone will make the risk acceptable to you?

2) What do you say to your sons about why they can’t use the men’s locker room? Do you tell them that men’s locker rooms are high risk places for sexual assaults?

3) Do you worry at all about teaching your sons, who will grow up to be men, that men are dangerous and be regarded with suspicion?

4) If you regard adult males as unacceptably risky for your 11 son to change with, can you understand that young girls view your son as just a few years shy of being one of those dangerous men, and therefore do not feel comfortable changing around him?

Wow you have some anxiety going on here. Do you see your DH as a potential rapist or is it just everyone one else including children who are upcoming rapists? Have you considered keeping your DH away from your DD and her friends? Or maybe you conceived thru immaculate conception and no man needed! :lol: :lol:

You interpreted that all wrong. I don’t think 11 year old boys belong in women’s locker rooms, so I’m trying to understand the thought process behind it. Are these women telling their sons that men’s locker rooms are unsafe for them at age 11, but at, let’s say 13, now it’s safe to go in there? Or do they plan on bringing their 17 year old into the women’s locker room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've discussed this before and most agree that using a family changing room, if available, or bring boys already in swim trunks. An 11 yr old, who is not SN, should not be brought into women's changing room at pool or restroom in a public place. Personally, I do not even thing a SN 11 yr. old boy should be in women changing room or rest room.

https://nypost.com/2024/04/05/lifestyle/mom-divides-parents-after-bringing-her-11-year-old-son-into-a-womens-changing-room/

I stopped swimming at the indoor MLK pool in the winter because I teach 6th grade and moms were bringing their 10-11 year old boys into the women’s changing room. I don’t want a current or future male student to see me naked or in my underwear. In the summer, I just wear my damp suit home.

That’s what those boys should be doing. You belong in the women’s locker room.

[Anonymous]

Family changing rooms are there for folks who want to group up in ways that might cut against locker room expectations of others. Use them. I don't want my 9yo DD under observation by your 11yo DS, and fixing that is up to OP, not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've discussed this before and most agree that using a family changing room, if available, or bring boys already in swim trunks. An 11 yr old, who is not SN, should not be brought into women's changing room at pool or restroom in a public place. Personally, I do not even thing a SN 11 yr. old boy should be in women changing room or rest room.

https://nypost.com/2024/04/05/lifestyle/mom-divides-parents-after-bringing-her-11-year-old-son-into-a-womens-changing-room/

I stopped swimming at the indoor MLK pool in the winter because I teach 6th grade and moms were bringing their 10-11 year old boys into the women’s changing room. I don’t want a current or future male student to see me naked or in my underwear. In the summer, I just wear my damp suit home.

Why are you prancing around naked? Aren't there stall doors for privacy? I am a woman and I don't get this walking around. I don't want anyone seeing me undressed so I close the door and change in private. Btw no kid boy or girl should be subject to see an adult naked its gross cover yourself when there are kids around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think young kids should be in a locker room alone.

Just google locker room assaults.

https://wjla.com/news/local/woman-alleges-rape-assault-inside-wilson-aquatic-center-locker-room-97400

These are not young kids.

When your 11 yr old is raped in a locker room, lets so how old you think they are.

For moms who think it’s too dangerous for an 11 year old boy to use the men’s locker room at the pool…

1) How do you determine when they can start using men’s locker rooms? What age/size/milestone will make the risk acceptable to you?

2) What do you say to your sons about why they can’t use the men’s locker room? Do you tell them that men’s locker rooms are high risk places for sexual assaults?

3) Do you worry at all about teaching your sons, who will grow up to be men, that men are dangerous and be regarded with suspicion?

4) If you regard adult males as unacceptably risky for your 11 son to change with, can you understand that young girls view your son as just a few years shy of being one of those dangerous men, and therefore do not feel comfortable changing around him?

Wow you have some anxiety going on here. Do you see your DH as a potential rapist or is it just everyone one else including children who are upcoming rapists? Have you considered keeping your DH away from your DD and her friends? Or maybe you conceived thru immaculate conception and no man needed! :lol: :lol:

ok then … there’s no reason for your 11 year old son not to use the men’s locker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've discussed this before and most agree that using a family changing room, if available, or bring boys already in swim trunks. An 11 yr old, who is not SN, should not be brought into women's changing room at pool or restroom in a public place. Personally, I do not even thing a SN 11 yr. old boy should be in women changing room or rest room.

https://nypost.com/2024/04/05/lifestyle/mom-divides-parents-after-bringing-her-11-year-old-son-into-a-womens-changing-room/

I stopped swimming at the indoor MLK pool in the winter because I teach 6th grade and moms were bringing their 10-11 year old boys into the women’s changing room. I don’t want a current or future male student to see me naked or in my underwear. In the summer, I just wear my damp suit home.

Why are you prancing around naked? Aren't there stall doors for privacy? I am a woman and I don't get this walking around. I don't want anyone seeing me undressed so I close the door and change in private. Btw no kid boy or girl should be subject to see an adult naked its gross cover yourself when there are kids around.

Locker rooms are an entirely appropriate place for nudity. If you don’t expect to see that, I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, that’s the whole point of gender-segregated locker rooms. Toilet stalls are for using the toilet, not changing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family changing rooms are there for folks who want to group up in ways that might cut against locker room expectations of others. Use them. I don't want my 9yo DD under observation by your 11yo DS, and fixing that is up to OP, not me.

But there are plenty of pools that don’t have them. Our local pool has two paths from the front desk to the pool deck. Through the men’s or through the women’s. We have a young transgender teen boy in our family. If he walks through the women’s side, in his suit he is open to the reaction here, but if he went the other way people would claim he is on the wrong side, and violence against trans men and boys in male spaces is a huge problem. We send him through the men’s side with an adult or older teen male, but we’re lucky that our family composition allows that.

[Anonymous]

Who cares.

[Anonymous]

My kids look much older than they are. My just turned 8 year old could easily pass for 12. And my 5 year old looks like a 9/10 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not your child, not your business. You have no idea why they made that choice. Parents are doing the best they can. Please leave them alone.

I agree. I’ve seen it a few times in that age group with boys being in the female dressing room. I just went about my business. I never get naked in the common area. Nobody needs to see that.

When my son was about 9 or 10 I’d wait outside of the men’s room. I’d open the door and yell his name if it was taking too long. I didn’t care what anyone thought.