Not welcome on vacation

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think people need to back way off on the idea that a couple is a "social unit." A couple can do things separately, and that's ok! My best friend is having an 18 person wedding, and my husband is not invited--because he's not really her friend. I would never insist that she bump a relative so that he could join. And I am comfortable enough socially to go places without him.

OP, I mean this very kindly, but you are quite young and need to relax. Maybe you'll marry this guy, maybe you won't. Maybe his mother will come around to liking you, maybe she won't. But huffing and puffing and blowing the whole house down over a couple of perceived snubs is not the way to go.

With all due respect that is also nuts.

The mom could of course tell the son that she's hoping it'll be a trip for just them - she wants some alone time with him and his brother or some such. But to pretend that it's not strange to expect a 30 year old to travel without his fiance - it's weird!

It must be about money. She will pay for her son but not the girlfriend.

I am PP - and I feel like it's pretty reasonable if the MIL says she'll treat the son, but not the girlfriend. (Unless she's super wealthy.) But at least have a conversation about it. Don't just be weird and say nothing.

I would assume she knows money is a huge issue and they all know the deal. The mom invited her son, presumably she will pay. She doesn't want to pay for the fiance and she knows they can't afford it. But that doesn't mean she doesn't want him to miss out on visiting his brother with her. People in this situation are probably well aware of what's what.

I think at the engaged stage it’s rude to pay for your son and not his fiancé. Her son is 30 why would his mother be funding his vacation anyways?

She invited him to visit with her. I'm going to say it's obvious OP and her fiancé can't afford to do this alone. OP can answer for herself if she's able to swing a visit to "Cali" when she's supposedly getting married in a few months. Is OP willing to pay for her own airfare and lodging if the future MIL covers her son and take the time off?

It’s not cool to invite and pay for your son but not pay for your fdil. Rude rude rude. Either pay for both or pay for neither.

[jsteele]

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Anonymous wrote:Rude responses are always expected on this site but this tops the cake even for DCUM.

Don't listen to the bitter, nasty harpies replying to you, OP. They are just miserable in every way. What I got from your posts is that you just expect to be acknowledged in some way as a part of your financee's life. There is nothing wrong with that. Your future MIL is being rude. She might be passive aggressive about not wanting you to marry her son. Your feelings are valid especially since you tried to reach out several times to have a relationship with her. I would just sit back and watch how it all unfolds. If your finance goes without you, I guess you'll know where his priorities are.

Hey harpy. How’s it going?

Much better than you, thanks for asking. How does it feel to harass an anonymous 25-year-old needlessly? Makes you such a nice person, doesn't it?

Aww, are you going to contact your “fiancée” and demand I apologize, op?

Not OP but nice try. Just not so miserable that I need to harras random 25 year olds to get my rocks off. You do you boo.

Okay, OP. You’re miserable enough to harass those who aren’t 25 to get your rock off. You do you, boo.

Reading and comprehension are not your strong suit. Feel free to check with daddy Jeff if you like. Should be easy since I'm in DC and OP is in GA.

Well, someone came running to me and the OP probably wishes they hadn't. First of all, the OP posted multiple times in this thread identifying herself as "NP". So, that's not good.

Furthermore, this OP seems to have a lot of issues with her mother-in-law. Or, should I say, mothers-in-law? Here she has a problem with the mother of the husband she is divorcing:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1189057.page

Here she is having trouble with the mother of the husband she is not divorcing:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1189611.page

And, of course, this thread where the issue is with the mother of her fiancé. All this in the course of two days.

So, I am going to lock all three of these threads while the OP is busy divorcing one man, staying married to another, and getting ready to marry a third.