WWYD - 13 yr old just binged on an entire bag of Oreo cookies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a thin family. My kids are all stick skinny. We are family friends with parents who are overweight and they have so many restrictions with food. The mom does not allow sugar and is a total nazi about junk food. The kids are growing and thin but the parents are overweight. I would guess mom weighs around 160 pounds on an average frame and dad is 200 pounds on an average height so both large. Their kids have a total complex with food!

is this post a DCUM joke?
160 pounds on an average sized woman (assume 5'6") and 200 pounds on an average sized man (assume 5'10"-6'0") is hardly overweight.
Maybe by 5-10 pounds each? If they're muscular that's not overweight at all.

You think 160 pounds on 5’5” is normal???

I’m currently 5’4” and 135 and I feel very chubby. I’m normally around 125. 125 on 5’4” is thin, not skinny.

I just calculated and 160 on 5’5” is a BMI of almost 27 and that is overweight. I just guessed 160. Now that I think about it, she is probably more. My husband is 170 and she is much bigger than DH.

Me again. I may have underestimated their weights. Maybe the guy is 230 or 250. They are both fat.

Like I said, I am currently wearing size M/L for first time in my life and I feel very fat. I know I’m not fat but I feel fat. These people are fat, say they struggle with weight and know they are fat. I once said I can’t fit into my clothes and I noticed the woman give me a look. I never mention weight around them. The woman is always talking about food, sugar, gluten, processed foods, and etc. she is the largest person we hang out with but also the healthiest eater. DH once said they must binge eat because how can people be that large when eating salad and oatmeal all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid wants sugary dessert every night. That’s not healthy either. People piling on OP for restricting sweets aren’t being entirely realistic. She wants to teach good habits. Letting her kid eat dessert every day is not going to lead her son to not being obsessed with sugar.

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of dessert every day. I am naturally thin and have a sweet tooth. My kids are also thin/athletic. They like a little treat after dinner which doesn’t mean huge bowls of ice cream, but maybe a little cup of rice pudding or a handful of gummy bears or a little bit of fruit sorbet. We find ways to reasonably satisfy the sweet craving instead of winding up with kids spending allowance money on Oreos and then crushing a bag in 24 hours. Sugar is nbd to my kids, they will even pass up cake at birthday parties if they’re not hungry.

But having dessert is part of a bigger picture of meal times. From a young age we’ve talked about listening to hunger cues, eating enough protein, enjoying foods in moderation, eating a variety of foods, etc. Meals and snacks are eaten at the kitchen table. They don’t just mindlessly wander the house shoving food in their face. They also are really good water drinks — sometimes hunger is actually thirst, so they know to drink during the day.

My parents gave me a lot of leeway with food growing up and I’m still a size 2 in my 40s after having 3 babies. Better to help kids learn food autonomy early on so they can balance food intake as an adult.

I hate posts like this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So maybe the answer is we should collectively have LESS junk food as a society, not more. Seems kind of bananas that the answer to your kids not developing a binge disorder is to provide them with more junk food. If this stuff wasn’t addictive, people wouldn’t be binging on it in the first place, ever. Seeing as the vast majority of adults are overweight, keeping junk food all around your house doesn’t create heathy eating habits and teach moderation any better.

Have you never eaten a bag of chips or a lot of cookies?

This is common in our family. I would not say we do this often but I would not blink.

I’m a chip person. Our family eats chips during family movies. We crush a giant bag or may have 2 normal sized potato chip bags. I’m not proud of this but we do it. We may also eat ice cream. I used to do this with my friends as teenagers and college. We are a thin family.

DH and I used to be skinny and now not so skinny in our forties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid wants sugary dessert every night. That’s not healthy either. People piling on OP for restricting sweets aren’t being entirely realistic. She wants to teach good habits. Letting her kid eat dessert every day is not going to lead her son to not being obsessed with sugar.

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of dessert every day. I am naturally thin and have a sweet tooth. My kids are also thin/athletic. They like a little treat after dinner which doesn’t mean huge bowls of ice cream, but maybe a little cup of rice pudding or a handful of gummy bears or a little bit of fruit sorbet. We find ways to reasonably satisfy the sweet craving instead of winding up with kids spending allowance money on Oreos and then crushing a bag in 24 hours. Sugar is nbd to my kids, they will even pass up cake at birthday parties if they’re not hungry.

But having dessert is part of a bigger picture of meal times. From a young age we’ve talked about listening to hunger cues, eating enough protein, enjoying foods in moderation, eating a variety of foods, etc. Meals and snacks are eaten at the kitchen table. They don’t just mindlessly wander the house shoving food in their face. They also are really good water drinks — sometimes hunger is actually thirst, so they know to drink during the day.

My parents gave me a lot of leeway with food growing up and I’m still a size 2 in my 40s after having 3 babies. Better to help kids learn food autonomy early on so they can balance food intake as an adult.

I hate posts like this

Not that pp but posted a few times on this thread.

We are a thin, active and healthy family. My three kids all play sports. I have tween and teen boys and they eat a ton. They eat steaks, chipotle, pizza, chips and cake. We are not a big cookie family but they will eat a lot of other food.

I think when kids are deprived of something, it makes them want it more. This happens especially in college when kids have freedom after having controlling parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So maybe the answer is we should collectively have LESS junk food as a society, not more. Seems kind of bananas that the answer to your kids not developing a binge disorder is to provide them with more junk food. If this stuff wasn’t addictive, people wouldn’t be binging on it in the first place, ever. Seeing as the vast majority of adults are overweight, keeping junk food all around your house doesn’t create heathy eating habits and teach moderation any better.

Have you never eaten a bag of chips or a lot of cookies?

This is common in our family. I would not say we do this often but I would not blink.

I’m a chip person. Our family eats chips during family movies. We crush a giant bag or may have 2 normal sized potato chip bags. I’m not proud of this but we do it. We may also eat ice cream. I used to do this with my friends as teenagers and college. We are a thin family.

DH and I used to be skinny and now not so skinny in our forties.

I don’t think it is positive thing that eating entire bags of chips in a sitting is now normalized. It’s only perceived as “ok” because you are thin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a thin family. My kids are all stick skinny. We are family friends with parents who are overweight and they have so many restrictions with food. The mom does not allow sugar and is a total nazi about junk food. The kids are growing and thin but the parents are overweight. I would guess mom weighs around 160 pounds on an average frame and dad is 200 pounds on an average height so both large. Their kids have a total complex with food!

is this post a DCUM joke?
160 pounds on an average sized woman (assume 5'6") and 200 pounds on an average sized man (assume 5'10"-6'0") is hardly overweight.
Maybe by 5-10 pounds each? If they're muscular that's not overweight at all.

And that’s the problem with the US. Sorry 160 for a woman is in fact overweight. It just is.

Yep. I'm, 5'8" and 135lbs. I'm slim but not skinny. An extra 25 lbs and 2" shorter? That's overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to sustain this further. I scanned a lot of it, but my simple question that I didn't see addressed: the only sized of Oreo packages that come in bags are small, sack sized. Otherwise, they come in what are called, "packages." I think OP even referenced, a "snack size bag." So, this kid ate probably 1 or 2 servings of Oreos in two days.

Good catch! This is all about a snack size bag? That's meant to be eaten in one sitting? A snack size bag of mini oreos has 140 calories.

OP is clearly a troll, no real parent would freak out about a snack size bag of oreos for a 13 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

Apologize for restricting his food so he feels like he needs to binge eat? And buy him a box at Costco.

This!! Holy crap, OP! Your severe restrictions have 100% caused the binging. He is 13 years old. Time to let him decide what to eat! Yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My childhood friend whose parents were like this in terms of controlling their eating as teens struggled as an adult with food and eventually alcohol and drug addiction. She would come to our house, where this stuff was available but by 13 we were expected to know how to control ourselves, and binge. Her life ended tragically.

I had a friend like this--she would go to other people's houses and just binge on chips, cookies, etc. Her mom was obsessed with being thin and banned anythign that wasn't sugar-free from the home.

My parents didn't restrict junk food out of any kind of weight concern - they just believed in wheat germ and whole grain bread. When I went to friends' houses I could not get enough of their peanut butter and fluff on white bread and Captain Crunch.

I have to say, I think over the course of my life, it was better that we didn't have a lot of junk food in the house. Even though as a teenager I, too, would 10000% have eaten a whole bag of Oreos - in my 50s now I def internalized good eating habits. Including thinking dessert should be an occasional treat, not a regular food group.

Funny thing is that my parents, now in their 80s, have so much junk in their house you wouldn't believe it. Eight kinds of cookies, a giant bag of M&Ms, chocolate covered pretzels, even SODA! We were never allowed soda! They go out for ice cream several times a week. It's pretty funny. Neither has a problem with weight or diabetes, so I'm glad they're enjoying themselves.

Re OP's kid - I think I'd just talk to them about how sometimes it feels really good to eat a lot of sugar all at once, but that can't be how we do it all the time. Then look away because if that's the worst your teen is doing, gd bless you all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So maybe the answer is we should collectively have LESS junk food as a society, not more. Seems kind of bananas that the answer to your kids not developing a binge disorder is to provide them with more junk food. If this stuff wasn’t addictive, people wouldn’t be binging on it in the first place, ever. Seeing as the vast majority of adults are overweight, keeping junk food all around your house doesn’t create heathy eating habits and teach moderation any better.

Have you never eaten a bag of chips or a lot of cookies?

This is common in our family. I would not say we do this often but I would not blink.

I’m a chip person. Our family eats chips during family movies. We crush a giant bag or may have 2 normal sized potato chip bags. I’m not proud of this but we do it. We may also eat ice cream. I used to do this with my friends as teenagers and college. We are a thin family.

DH and I used to be skinny and now not so skinny in our forties.

I don’t think it is positive thing that eating entire bags of chips in a sitting is now normalized. It’s only perceived as “ok” because you are thin.

We like chips. My oldest doesn’t like sweets. My middle doesn’t love bread. I actually worry about my youngest. She is a girl and likes chips, ice cream and Oreos. She is only 7 and skinny. I tell her that she eats too much junk food and that she may get fat when she gets older. Dh doesn’t like when I talk about weight to her because he doesn’t want her to have a complex.

I was always skinny eating whatever I wanted. Only when I hit my forties did it catch up to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No, but our kids have zero desire to eat six pints of Ben & Jerry's on a regular basis (or ever) because they have been allowed to have an appropriate serving size of ice cream pretty regularly from a young age and have had more and more freedom to to eat as they please as they have aged. I have a 13 year old boy, too. He does not binge because I don't control what he eats. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to sustain this further. I scanned a lot of it, but my simple question that I didn't see addressed: the only sized of Oreo packages that come in bags are small, sack sized. Otherwise, they come in what are called, "packages." I think OP even referenced, a "snack size bag." So, this kid ate probably 1 or 2 servings of Oreos in two days.

Good catch! This is all about a snack size bag? That's meant to be eaten in one sitting? A snack size bag of mini oreos has 140 calories.

OP is clearly a troll, no real parent would freak out about a snack size bag of oreos for a 13 year old.

OP - was it a snack sized snack bag with the minis? We need this vital detail to more accurately place you on the Scale of Crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to sustain this further. I scanned a lot of it, but my simple question that I didn't see addressed: the only sized of Oreo packages that come in bags are small, sack sized. Otherwise, they come in what are called, "packages." I think OP even referenced, a "snack size bag." So, this kid ate probably 1 or 2 servings of Oreos in two days.

Good catch! This is all about a snack size bag? That's meant to be eaten in one sitting? A snack size bag of mini oreos has 140 calories.

OP is clearly a troll, no real parent would freak out about a snack size bag of oreos for a 13 year old.

OP - was it a snack sized snack bag with the minis? We need this vital detail to more accurately place you on the Scale of Crazy

Not OP, but my guess is it was a bag like this. It is 8 servings for the bag, FYI

https://www.target.com/p/oreo-mini-chocolate-sandwich-cookies-snack-sak-8oz/-/A-12945487?sidd=901S&ref=tgt_adv_xsp&AFID=google&fndsrc=tgtao&DFA=71700000108139139&CPNG=PLA_Snacks%2BCandy%2BShopping_Local%7CSnacks%2BCandy_Ecomm_Food_Bev&adgroup=SC_Snacks%2BCandy&LID=700000001170770pgs&LNM=PRODUCT_GROUP&network=g&device=m&location=9017274&targetid=pla-650518421249&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD-5dfbqSBTDO0-p7kek8ya_7-AXb&gclid=CjwKCAiAq4KuBhA6EiwArMAw1HNS2edsp3QMw2LS_Z8r3dG1cAkNr5rL__4zx69wyFOaAlokS3QqYRoC8SkQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would strongly suggest you revisit the food rules of your house. Forbidden foods become sought-after foods. We don’t have food rules here and my ravenous teenager eats a pretty good range of foods, which includes junk food, fruits, vegetables, and lots of other things.

Anyway, my suggestion is that there is no consequence. Maybe he has a stomach ache. Maybe he experiences no effect. The effect of binging a package of Oreos or Girl Scout cookies or…a bag of grapes is minimal, tbh. Focus on teaching life long skills and don’t make foods off limits.

Also, if he’s sneaking video games, revisit those rules, too…

A mental health counselor parent

Let me understand. You're suggesting that parents buy Oreos, Cheetos, and other kinds of junk food in order that these foods not become forbidden foods?

And how would you revisit the rules around video games? Just let him play an unlimited amount?

This sounds like non-parenting to me.

Jesus H. Everything in moderation is a healthy option and is parenting much better than creating food issues in your kids.

There is a happy medium between restricting something to nearly zero (whether it be sweets or video games) and your absurd proposition that the only other options is allowing unlimited of those things. So find the medium.

This is not hard.

[Anonymous]

12 pages of thoughts.

OP bottom line you are a horrible parent.

Control is your thing

Shame on you.

Get parenting help now please.