WWYD - 13 yr old just binged on an entire bag of Oreo cookies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No, but our kids have zero desire to eat six pints of Ben & Jerry's on a regular basis (or ever) because they have been allowed to have an appropriate serving size of ice cream pretty regularly from a young age and have had more and more freedom to to eat as they please as they have aged. I have a 13 year old boy, too. He does not binge because I don't control what he eats. Period.

My kid may eat one pint of ice cream.

OP’s kid ate these Oreos over 2 days, not one sitting. This is really not that big of a deal. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

No, but our kids have zero desire to eat six pints of Ben & Jerry's on a regular basis (or ever) because they have been allowed to have an appropriate serving size of ice cream pretty regularly from a young age and have had more and more freedom to to eat as they please as they have aged.

I don't agree with PP, but I also think you are overemphasizing the degree to which being allowed to have snacks necessarily eliminates binge eating issues. We allow my son to have dessert every single evening, but still major issues with him sneaking downstairs and eating a huge amount of food in the middle of the night. If we don't have snacks, he will eat a bag of bread, or box of crackers. His doctor thinks it may be a dopamine issue due to ADHD, but thus far, adjusting his medication has not helped.

[Anonymous]

Everyone on that goldfish post from a couple weeks ago needs to read this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12 pages of thoughts.

OP bottom line you are a horrible parent.

Control is your thing

Shame on you.

Get parenting help now please.

12 pages of mostly batshit crazy commentary.

Now we know why 70% of the US is obese.

PP, lobotomized people like you is why DCUM is a cesspool.

You should think about why you need to shame others. It’s usually a sign of deep shame being projected. What are you so ashamed about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No, but our kids have zero desire to eat six pints of Ben & Jerry's on a regular basis (or ever) because they have been allowed to have an appropriate serving size of ice cream pretty regularly from a young age and have had more and more freedom to to eat as they please as they have aged.

I don't agree with PP, but I also think you are overemphasizing the degree to which being allowed to have snacks necessarily eliminates binge eating issues. We allow my son to have dessert every single evening, but still major issues with him sneaking downstairs and eating a huge amount of food in the middle of the night. If we don't have snacks, he will eat a bag of bread, or box of crackers. His doctor thinks it may be a dopamine issue due to ADHD, but thus far, adjusting his medication has not helped.

Are you talking about a growing teen/tween?

I posted before having 12 and 14yo boys often eating a second dinner. I don’t consider this a problem. They sometimes get hungry. I do not monitor their eating and definitely would not think eating when hungry at night to be an eating disorder or an offense.

They often heat up leftovers, make a sandwich, grill a steak or find what they can to eat when hungry. That often includes junk food.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is hard to believe how many calories a boy in the middle of puberty can consume. Two breakfasts, two dinners, etc. The consequence should be to feed him more and apologize that he was so hungry he had to eat a whole bag of Oreos

[Anonymous]

When you make something a forbidden fruit, humans want it even more?

I've always bought everything. I exposed our kids (now HS and college) to every single type of food growing up. Yes, even the FunYuns and the PopTarts and the Boo Berry Captain Crunch cereals. Why? Because I didn't want to food to be a forbidden fruit.

Skip ahead to today, and we never finish a cake or pie in our house. I throw half of it away. I've had a big bowl of Christmas bite-sized chocolates sitting on the counter since Christmas, and our DDs have not touched it. I'm eating it all very, very, very slowly and will likely throw the rest away to make room for the Easter candy.

When you make it inaccessible, you make it desireable, OP.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree with PP, but I also think you are overemphasizing the degree to which being allowed to have snacks necessarily eliminates binge eating issues. We allow my son to have dessert every single evening, but still major issues with him sneaking downstairs and eating a huge amount of food in the middle of the night. If we don't have snacks, he will eat a bag of bread, or box of crackers. His doctor thinks it may be a dopamine issue due to ADHD, but thus far, adjusting his medication has not helped.


Are you talking about a growing teen/tween?

I posted before having 12 and 14yo boys often eating a second dinner. I don’t consider this a problem. They sometimes get hungry. I do not monitor their eating and definitely would not think eating when hungry at night to be an eating disorder or an offense.

We are fine with him having a second dinner, and he sometimes does, but that is not the type of behavior I am referring to here.

Both his doctor and psychiatrist have confirmed that his current nighttime eating pattern is not normal, and I trust their judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a thin family. My kids are all stick skinny. We are family friends with parents who are overweight and they have so many restrictions with food. The mom does not allow sugar and is a total nazi about junk food. The kids are growing and thin but the parents are overweight. I would guess mom weighs around 160 pounds on an average frame and dad is 200 pounds on an average height so both large. Their kids have a total complex with food!

is this post a DCUM joke?
160 pounds on an average sized woman (assume 5'6") and 200 pounds on an average sized man (assume 5'10"-6'0") is hardly overweight.
Maybe by 5-10 pounds each? If they're muscular that's not overweight at all.

And that’s the problem with the US. Sorry 160 for a woman is in fact overweight. It just is.

Yep. I'm, 5'8" and 135lbs. I'm slim but not skinny. An extra 25 lbs and 2" shorter? That's overweight.

In fairness, she didn't say "not overweight" she said "hardly overweight." And she is right that at 5'6", that is only 6 pounds overweight. But 5'6" isn't average, 5'4" is. At 5'4", that is definitely overweight, but it isn't exactly huge. I think that was the point.

[Anonymous]

Boys eat more. My husband has told me stories about he and his older brother as teens going to Taco Bell. He ordered ten tacos. Then his brother ordered another ten for himself. Ten each. As a snack. They're doing just fine.

Teen boys need to eat in large amounts.

[Anonymous]

OP- it's a snack bag. It happened once.

Please see a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No, but our kids have zero desire to eat six pints of Ben & Jerry's on a regular basis (or ever) because they have been allowed to have an appropriate serving size of ice cream pretty regularly from a young age and have had more and more freedom to to eat as they please as they have aged.

I don't agree with PP, but I also think you are overemphasizing the degree to which being allowed to have snacks necessarily eliminates binge eating issues. We allow my son to have dessert every single evening, but still major issues with him sneaking downstairs and eating a huge amount of food in the middle of the night. If we don't have snacks, he will eat a bag of bread, or box of crackers. His doctor thinks it may be a dopamine issue due to ADHD, but thus far, adjusting his medication has not helped.

Sure, some people are just going to be like this (and I am sure the ADHD is the likely culprit), but many. maybe most, if raised with healthy attitudes toward food, will not be binge eaters. Often binge eaters are created by overly restricting food. This kid has never had open access to Oreos at 13 years old. So he ate the whole thing. Big deal. But now OP is looking for a "consequence." that's messed up. What will she do when he is on his own in 5 years and overeats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No, but our kids have zero desire to eat six pints of Ben & Jerry's on a regular basis (or ever) because they have been allowed to have an appropriate serving size of ice cream pretty regularly from a young age and have had more and more freedom to to eat as they please as they have aged.

I don't agree with PP, but I also think you are overemphasizing the degree to which being allowed to have snacks necessarily eliminates binge eating issues. We allow my son to have dessert every single evening, but still major issues with him sneaking downstairs and eating a huge amount of food in the middle of the night. If we don't have snacks, he will eat a bag of bread, or box of crackers. His doctor thinks it may be a dopamine issue due to ADHD, but thus far, adjusting his medication has not helped.

This.

[Anonymous]

First of all, your kid felt like he cant control himself around Oreos(or sweets in general) because you didn't teach them any control. You just restricted sweets. Second, dont shame your child for your mistakes. Just teach them that iits okay to eat sweets, but just dont let them control and poison their entire diet.

[Anonymous]

Let he who has not binged cast the first broccoli.