WWYD - 13 yr old just binged on an entire bag of Oreo cookies

[Anonymous]

Well, now I understand a little bit more about how Burger King lady was raised.

OP, seriously, what is wrong with you? Consequences? Are you high?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This can not be a serious post

Get the f out here. LOL

The sad thing is, it's probably real. Welcome to DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

Apologize for restricting his food so he feels like he needs to binge eat? And buy him a box at Costco.

This. Had a friend in HS and her mother was like OP with the sugar. We shared an apartment in college and she ate sugary junk constantly.

[Anonymous]

I had access to all foods growing up and I have no control over my consumption of certain foods. It’s not so black and white.

[Anonymous]

Obviously you need to sit your kid in the kitchen and force them to eat a whole bag of Oreos every single day until they get it out of their system. It doesn't matter if they vomit. It doesn't matter how long it takes them to finish. It must be done.


Seriously OP. You're in for a looooooooong ride unless you pace yourself. This is not something that would ever register on my radar as something to occupy my thoughts. Focus on the connection with your child. Teach him you can eat junk food in moderation. Right now, YOU are the moderation if your kid cannot handle that much junk.

[Anonymous]

My athlete older teenage son has never had food restricted - ever. He did recently eat a box of cosmic brownies. But each morning he eats eggs and overnight oats he asked me to make sweetened with a tiny bit of natural maple syrup. For lunch he asked me to buy and make spinach and chicken salads this week. Last week it was cold salmon and quinoa. He makes himself peanut butter and banana smoothies almost every night. He needs to consume about 3500 calories a day to maintain weight for his sport and understands that should not come from doughnuts. In other words, kids can understand how to eat well even without a world of restrictions. I cannot imagine disciplining a teenager over Oreos! I wonder what happens if OP’s son misses a day of his obligatory workout?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had access to all foods growing up and I have no control over my consumption of certain foods. It’s not so black and white.

Same, but my siblings don't have issues. I used to buy candy and chips with my babysitting money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No, but our kids have zero desire to eat six pints of Ben & Jerry's on a regular basis (or ever) because they have been allowed to have an appropriate serving size of ice cream pretty regularly from a young age and have had more and more freedom to to eat as they please as they have aged.

I don't agree with PP, but I also think you are overemphasizing the degree to which being allowed to have snacks necessarily eliminates binge eating issues. We allow my son to have dessert every single evening, but still major issues with him sneaking downstairs and eating a huge amount of food in the middle of the night. If we don't have snacks, he will eat a bag of bread, or box of crackers. His doctor thinks it may be a dopamine issue due to ADHD, but thus far, adjusting his medication has not helped.

Is your son taking appetite suppressing amphetamines during the day and then engaging in caloric compensation at night?

Either way, night eating disorder is not relevant to the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

If this is your biggest concern as a parent you are very lucky. I wouldn’t do anything. He wasted his money and probably doesn’t feel great.

That is enough. I would not harp on this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would strongly suggest you revisit the food rules of your house. Forbidden foods become sought-after foods. We don’t have food rules here and my ravenous teenager eats a pretty good range of foods, which includes junk food, fruits, vegetables, and lots of other things.

Anyway, my suggestion is that there is no consequence. Maybe he has a stomach ache. Maybe he experiences no effect. The effect of binging a package of Oreos or Girl Scout cookies or…a bag of grapes is minimal, tbh. Focus on teaching life long skills and don’t make foods off limits.

Also, if he’s sneaking video games, revisit those rules, too…

A mental health counselor parent

Let me understand. You're suggesting that parents buy Oreos, Cheetos, and other kinds of junk food in order that these foods not become forbidden foods?

And how would you revisit the rules around video games? Just let him play an unlimited amount?

This sounds like non-parenting to me.

Np I have a friend who grew up with all the candy/ cookies she wanted. She knew she could eat it at any time so she didnt need to hide it and now eats very well. I also know parents like you and when they got a treat the kid would eat it very quickly because they didnt know when thry wete going to get a treat.

So I say no punishment since your kid used his own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

If food is not restricted, a kid is much less likely to want to eat six pints of Ben & Jerry's - because he knows that he can have a scoop of Ben & Jerry's whenever he wants.

I highly doubt any kid except Michael Phelps in his heyday eating SIX pints...one maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had access to all foods growing up and I have no control over my consumption of certain foods. It’s not so black and white.

same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents restricted and I binged then developed an eating disorder. We don't restrict DS. We teach him about healthy foods, portions sizes, and making good choices. In turn, he eats reasonably and responsibly.

+1. We have chocolate bars sitting on the counter that were gifted to us over new years, and an untouched Oreo pie in our fridge that has been there since Friday. I might have to put it in the freezer tonight. My 15 and 11 year old boys, both of whom swim and play soccer year round, have not asked to eat either. They are allowed dessert every day, but they decline about 75% of the time. Dessert isn’t that valuable to them because it’s so available.

DP. That’s great, but everyone’s different. My kids have dessert every night and they would never, ever decline it. They live for dessert. It’s not an issue, and I don’t think they would binge on a whole bag of something—I was a binge eating kid myself, so I try really hard not to be restrictive—but some people just really like to eat sweets.

Well, I think you are still taking the right approach. And it could very well be that your desserts are better than ours!

My kids had a classmate whose dad is a personal trainer and lobbied the school to post signs with nutrition labels for all the kids. The school gently but firmly pushed back and said absolutely not. I have seen his daughter on instagram with her dad, making kale salads and throwing away bags of candy. Meanwhile, I have also seen her scarf down 5 ice cream sundaes, 6 cupcakes, and candy by the fistfuls at birthday and Halloween parties when her parents are not around. My son said she took her empty instrument case to a birthday party, filled it with cupcakes and starbursts, and presumably ate them in her room under the cover of darkness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This can not be a serious post

Get the f out here. LOL

The sad thing is, it's probably real. Welcome to DCUM.

I meet parents like this all the time. One of the moms at my kid's tennis practice was complaining because the kids were given popsicles once a week and she felt that treats like that should only be for special occasions. Popsicles. She'd probably have a heart attack if she looked in my freezer and saw what my kids had free access to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, 13 years of severely restricting sugary snacks doesn't seem to be achieving your goals, does it?

I agree.

I’d start offering him Oreos every night. Learning that sugar and treats are part of life is so much more important than restricting. If he’d been having them regularly, he would have never felt the need to pound the whole bag. Because he would know that more were always around. But you made them rare and thus VERY valuable. And he knew to eat them quickly or you might take them.

Stop shaming foods. Do some reading. It’s pretty late to the game, but hopefully you and he can learn together to drop your unhealthy relationship with food.