WWYD - 13 yr old just binged on an entire bag of Oreo cookies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a thin family. My kids are all stick skinny. We are family friends with parents who are overweight and they have so many restrictions with food. The mom does not allow sugar and is a total nazi about junk food. The kids are growing and thin but the parents are overweight. I would guess mom weighs around 160 pounds on an average frame and dad is 200 pounds on an average height so both large. Their kids have a total complex with food!

is this post a DCUM joke?
160 pounds on an average sized woman (assume 5'6") and 200 pounds on an average sized man (assume 5'10"-6'0") is hardly overweight.
Maybe by 5-10 pounds each? If they're muscular that's not overweight at all.

You think 160 pounds on 5’5” is normal???

I’m currently 5’4” and 135 and I feel very chubby. I’m normally around 125. 125 on 5’4” is thin, not skinny.

I just calculated and 160 on 5’5” is a BMI of almost 27 and that is overweight. I just guessed 160. Now that I think about it, she is probably more. My husband is 170 and she is much bigger than DH.

You have a distorted view of your body. Understandable since it is our society but you are not chubby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anyone is reading this bc their child is going through bags of sugary snacks while *also* PEEING a lot and THIRSTY all the time (weight doesn’t matter, maybe they’ve even been losing weight!) please get their blood sugar tested immediately.

Type 1 is not caused by poor diet or lack of exercise, it can strike anyone at any time, and 85% of cases have zero family history. The sugar cravings in this case wouldn’t be the cause, they’d be the symptom, and delays in diagnosis become quite dangerous very, very quickly.

(Seriously: if this is your kid, go, and fast.)

Valid point, but I think it’s also worth noting that teenage boys are notoriously ravenous eaters and if you were never a teenage boy or didn’t have brothers growing up, their need for calories and ability to slam down more food after eating a full meal can be quite a surprise.

I think that’s most likely what op is dealing with and doesn’t get it. Her instinct to punish the kid is way out of line. As it would be in the situation you’re describing as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid wants sugary dessert every night. That’s not healthy either. People piling on OP for restricting sweets aren’t being entirely realistic. She wants to teach good habits. Letting her kid eat dessert every day is not going to lead her son to not being obsessed with sugar.

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of dessert every day. I am naturally thin and have a sweet tooth. My kids are also thin/athletic. They like a little treat after dinner which doesn’t mean huge bowls of ice cream, but maybe a little cup of rice pudding or a handful of gummy bears or a little bit of fruit sorbet. We find ways to reasonably satisfy the sweet craving instead of winding up with kids spending allowance money on Oreos and then crushing a bag in 24 hours. Sugar is nbd to my kids, they will even pass up cake at birthday parties if they’re not hungry.

But having dessert is part of a bigger picture of meal times. From a young age we’ve talked about listening to hunger cues, eating enough protein, enjoying foods in moderation, eating a variety of foods, etc. Meals and snacks are eaten at the kitchen table. They don’t just mindlessly wander the house shoving food in their face. They also are really good water drinks — sometimes hunger is actually thirst, so they know to drink during the day.

My parents gave me a lot of leeway with food growing up and I’m still a size 2 in my 40s after having 3 babies. Better to help kids learn food autonomy early on so they can balance food intake as an adult.

I hate posts like this

Not that pp but posted a few times on this thread.

We are a thin, active and healthy family. My three kids all play sports. I have tween and teen boys and they eat a ton. They eat steaks, chipotle, pizza, chips and cake. We are not a big cookie family but they will eat a lot of other food.

I think when kids are deprived of something, it makes them want it more. This happens especially in college when kids have freedom after having controlling parents.

To be clear, I hate it because the poster describes herself as "naturally thin" with "thin/athletic" kids who have not been deprived from dessert or sugar, but I could make an Almond Mom found poem from the restrictive subtext. Hunger is actually thirst! Don't wander around the house shoving food in your face! No huge bowls of ice cream, have some fruit sorbet instead! Do you really need that birthday cake? If I was a size 2 after three babies, you can be too! I don't see it as different from what everyone is piling on the OP for.

I’m the poster you seem to hate so much and I’m laughing at the idea of me being an almond mom. My kids definitely eat chips, ice cream, etc. and we order pizza every week. I’m nowhere near an almond mom.

My point had been to counter a PP who claimed that kids shouldn’t have dessert every night. I was saying I think you can have some sugar every night and still have a healthy diet overall.

And I think it’s so weird that talking about hunger cues and thirst etc. is considered “disordered eating” by other posters. I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t talk to their kids about how their bodies work? We don’t have “good” or “bad” foods in our house, but we do talk about what your body gets from different types of food and why it’s important to eat a variety. Sorry if that is considered weird!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No, but our kids have zero desire to eat six pints of Ben & Jerry's on a regular basis (or ever) because they have been allowed to have an appropriate serving size of ice cream pretty regularly from a young age and have had more and more freedom to to eat as they please as they have aged. I have a 13 year old boy, too. He does not binge because I don't control what he eats. Period.

Yeah I don’t think it’s the kids who see foods like ice cream as normal parts of a diet are the ones bingeing. It’s the deprived kids that go overboard when they finally have access to it after 15 years of hearing how evil it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If anyone is reading this bc their child is going through bags of sugary snacks while *also* PEEING a lot and THIRSTY all the time (weight doesn’t matter, maybe they’ve even been losing weight!) please get their blood sugar tested immediately.

Type 1 is not caused by poor diet or lack of exercise, it can strike anyone at any time, and 85% of cases have zero family history. The sugar cravings in this case wouldn’t be the cause, they’d be the symptom, and delays in diagnosis become quite dangerous very, very quickly.

(Seriously: if this is your kid, go, and fast.)

Valid point, but I think it’s also worth noting that teenage boys are notoriously ravenous eaters and if you were never a teenage boy or didn’t have brothers growing up, their need for calories and ability to slam down more food after eating a full meal can be quite a surprise.

I think that’s most likely what op is dealing with and doesn’t get it. Her instinct to punish the kid is way out of line. As it would be in the situation you’re describing as well.

PP. I too suspect that OP kid’s behavior is normal teenage stuff! But I also know that in the days before my kid’s T1D diagnosis I scoured boards like this trying to figure out if her binge-devouring everyyyyy empty carb she could find was evidence of an eating disorder or depression or pre-addiction, or who-knows-what…all while missing every sign of what it actually was. I figured I’d post just in case there was a similar parent out there now.

Poor OP. She sounds so certain. And kids really do manage to test every certainty, until all a parent can do is shrug and say, “heck I know!” (But thats actually when things get way more fun IMO)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a thin family. My kids are all stick skinny. We are family friends with parents who are overweight and they have so many restrictions with food. The mom does not allow sugar and is a total nazi about junk food. The kids are growing and thin but the parents are overweight. I would guess mom weighs around 160 pounds on an average frame and dad is 200 pounds on an average height so both large. Their kids have a total complex with food!

is this post a DCUM joke?
160 pounds on an average sized woman (assume 5'6") and 200 pounds on an average sized man (assume 5'10"-6'0") is hardly overweight.
Maybe by 5-10 pounds each? If they're muscular that's not overweight at all.

You think 160 pounds on 5’5” is normal???

I’m currently 5’4” and 135 and I feel very chubby. I’m normally around 125. 125 on 5’4” is thin, not skinny.

I just calculated and 160 on 5’5” is a BMI of almost 27 and that is overweight. I just guessed 160. Now that I think about it, she is probably more. My husband is 170 and she is much bigger than DH.

You have a distorted view of your body. Understandable since it is our society but you are not chubby

NP here. Off topic for this thread, but no, she doesn’t. Weight isn’t a one-size-fits-all, but I’m the same height as PP and probably carry weight similarly. I absolutely look chubby at 135 because I’m not muscular. Right now I’m 127 and feel chubby (i.e., thighs are noticeably bigger, I have a fat roll around my stomach, etc.). 5’4” and 127-135 is certainly not chubby if it’s muscle, though, I get that. But sometimes it’s fat!

OP, you are being too harsh with your son. Please let it go and buy him a package of Oreos.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you’re still reading this thread, please look up the work of dietician Ellyn Satter and the Division of Responsibility in feeding. You are not responsible for the shape of your child’s body, full stop. I think you’ll see her approach takes as much from your side of tge argument as the other side, but the key is to let go of the outcome, which is the hardest. Naturally, we bring our fears and anxieties to our parenting, and knowing the outcome for your brother you have concerns. But you can inadvertently create the outcome you don’t want when you restrict too much.

[Anonymous]

Kid not allowed to buy cookies for a while.

Don't go nuts it's not that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents restricted and I binged then developed an eating disorder. We don't restrict DS. We teach him about healthy foods, portions sizes, and making good choices. In turn, he eats reasonably and responsibly.

+1. We have chocolate bars sitting on the counter that were gifted to us over new years, and an untouched Oreo pie in our fridge that has been there since Friday. I might have to put it in the freezer tonight. My 15 and 11 year old boys, both of whom swim and play soccer year round, have not asked to eat either. They are allowed dessert every day, but they decline about 75% of the time. Dessert isn’t that valuable to them because it’s so available.

DP. That’s great, but everyone’s different. My kids have dessert every night and they would never, ever decline it. They live for dessert. It’s not an issue, and I don’t think they would binge on a whole bag of something—I was a binge eating kid myself, so I try really hard not to be restrictive—but some people just really like to eat sweets.

Well, I think you are still taking the right approach. And it could very well be that your desserts are better than ours!

My kids had a classmate whose dad is a personal trainer and lobbied the school to post signs with nutrition labels for all the kids. The school gently but firmly pushed back and said absolutely not. I have seen his daughter on instagram with her dad, making kale salads and throwing away bags of candy. Meanwhile, I have also seen her scarf down 5 ice cream sundaes, 6 cupcakes, and candy by the fistfuls at birthday and Halloween parties when her parents are not around. My son said she took her empty instrument case to a birthday party, filled it with cupcakes and starbursts, and presumably ate them in her room under the cover of darkness.

Oh goodness this poor child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the kid who went to other people’s houses and poured bowl after bowl of sugar cereal, desperate for sugar and junk.

Look, it’s hard. In a world that’s so filled with junk, there’s no right answer. There *is* a wrong answer, though: shaming your kid for having extremely normal human cravings for the food we are hardwired to crave (especially in adolescence!).

Me too

We let the kids have dessert every night but do emphasize what a reasonable serving is. Every time they don’t finish their cake/ice cream/cookie because they are full it blows my mind all of again. Might not last but honestly I’d rather my kids have a healthy relationship with food and be 5 lbs over weight than restrict all the time and be super skinny (they aren’t overweight, but it’s a trade off I’d be fine with)

[Anonymous]

How this ridiculous post has lasted 18 pages tells us everything we need to know about current parenting and body image society

[Anonymous]

A lot of current adults grew up with pantries full of Hostess cakes, Oreos, chips, and TV TV dinners. Shocking majority of adults also eat like crap (still) and are overweight, and likely binge or at the very least overeat regularly. So don’t pat yourself on the back parents. You are likely going to have fat kids one day too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of current adults grew up with pantries full of Hostess cakes, Oreos, chips, and TV TV dinners. Shocking majority of adults also eat like crap (still) and are overweight, and likely binge or at the very least overeat regularly. So don’t pat yourself on the back parents. You are likely going to have fat kids one day too

My mom (yay, sexist division of labor) bought chips and sweetened cereals and baked cookies regularly. I ate it as a kid but as an adult, my siblings and I don't have a taste for it. And I gave my kids access to all sorts of food, and they cook themselves peas as a bedtime snack now. Although they also like M & Ms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of current adults grew up with pantries full of Hostess cakes, Oreos, chips, and TV TV dinners. Shocking majority of adults also eat like crap (still) and are overweight, and likely binge or at the very least overeat regularly. So don’t pat yourself on the back parents. You are likely going to have fat kids one day too

Current adults were subjected to the toxic rhetoric surrounding food that people are taking issue with here. No carb, no fat, fake butter, binge diets, Kate moss. We are dealing with the ongoing effects of that and trying to break the cycle. Food isn’t an enemy. Exercise isn’t a punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a thin family. My kids are all stick skinny. We are family friends with parents who are overweight and they have so many restrictions with food. The mom does not allow sugar and is a total nazi about junk food. The kids are growing and thin but the parents are overweight. I would guess mom weighs around 160 pounds on an average frame and dad is 200 pounds on an average height so both large. Their kids have a total complex with food!

is this post a DCUM joke?
160 pounds on an average sized woman (assume 5'6") and 200 pounds on an average sized man (assume 5'10"-6'0") is hardly overweight.
Maybe by 5-10 pounds each? If they're muscular that's not overweight at all.

You think 160 pounds on 5’5” is normal???

I’m currently 5’4” and 135 and I feel very chubby. I’m normally around 125. 125 on 5’4” is thin, not skinny.

I just calculated and 160 on 5’5” is a BMI of almost 27 and that is overweight. I just guessed 160. Now that I think about it, she is probably more. My husband is 170 and she is much bigger than DH.

You have a distorted view of your body. Understandable since it is our society but you are not chubby

NP here. Off topic for this thread, but no, she doesn’t. Weight isn’t a one-size-fits-all, but I’m the same height as PP and probably carry weight similarly. I absolutely look chubby at 135 because I’m not muscular. Right now I’m 127 and feel chubby (i.e., thighs are noticeably bigger, I have a fat roll around my stomach, etc.). 5’4” and 127-135 is certainly not chubby if it’s muscle, though, I get that. But sometimes it’s fat!

OP, you are being too harsh with your son. Please let it go and buy him a package of Oreos.

I’m the pp who said our friends were overweight and started this whole weight thing.

I’m 5’4” and 133 pounds. I just weighed myself this morning and I feel fat. My face, arms, stomach everything feels out of control. Like you said, if it was all muscle, maybe it would be ok but this is the worst I have looked and felt ever in my life.