WWYD - 13 yr old just binged on an entire bag of Oreo cookies

[Anonymous]

I don’t ever have Oreos in our pantry, but this thread is making want to go out and buy some for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a thin family. My kids are all stick skinny. We are family friends with parents who are overweight and they have so many restrictions with food. The mom does not allow sugar and is a total nazi about junk food. The kids are growing and thin but the parents are overweight. I would guess mom weighs around 160 pounds on an average frame and dad is 200 pounds on an average height so both large. Their kids have a total complex with food!

If they didn’t and always had junk food around, and their kids were overweight too, you’d judge them. It’s a no win.

Bingo. You can be holier than thou because you and your kids are a thin family. You can eat sugar and not gain a ton of weight. Those kids have their parents' genetics and may need a different approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t ever have Oreos in our pantry, but this thread is making want to go out and buy some for my kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

Someone probably posted this but studies have shown Oreos are as addictive as cocaine:

https://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/oreos-are-as-addictive-as-cocaine-college-study/1937064/?amp=1

[Anonymous]

My childhood friend whose parents were like this in terms of controlling their eating as teens struggled as an adult with food and eventually alcohol and drug addiction. She would come to our house, where this stuff was available but by 13 we were expected to know how to control ourselves, and binge. Her life ended tragically.

[Anonymous]

So maybe the answer is we should collectively have LESS junk food as a society, not more. Seems kind of bananas that the answer to your kids not developing a binge disorder is to provide them with more junk food. If this stuff wasn’t addictive, people wouldn’t be binging on it in the first place, ever. Seeing as the vast majority of adults are overweight, keeping junk food all around your house doesn’t create heathy eating habits and teach moderation any better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, give OP a break! She is transitioning from having a young child who only ate the food she provided to a teenager trying to make his own decisions. What worked for her a few years ago doesn't work now.

Fair enough.

OP you need to let go. Unless your kid is pre-diabetic or something, you have to let teenagers make their own decisions about what to eat. All you can do is educate, provide him with healthy food that he likes, take him to the doctor for checkups, and provide a good example of balanced eating. Also don't make negative comments about weight and appearance, that's just asking for your kid to get a complex and shame around weight.

How do you feel about your own body? How do you feel about your own relationship to food? Do you feel like food controls you? Are you afraid of oreos and how they might overpower your sense of self-control? Or do you think about sweets as fun indulgences to partake in every once in a while, and you feel good about your body and your health?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So maybe the answer is we should collectively have LESS junk food as a society, not more. Seems kind of bananas that the answer to your kids not developing a binge disorder is to provide them with more junk food. If this stuff wasn’t addictive, people wouldn’t be binging on it in the first place, ever. Seeing as the vast majority of adults are overweight, keeping junk food all around your house doesn’t create heathy eating habits and teach moderation any better.

Former binge eater/bulimic here. I can’t speak for everyone who struggles with this—people are different—but I would never say it was the addictive quality of junk food that made me binge. Junk food was just an easy, convenient way to numb some psychological issues. But it all initially started with deprivation and internalizing the idea that food that tastes good is bad for me. I wanted what I wanted, but I was made to feel guilty for it from a very young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My childhood friend whose parents were like this in terms of controlling their eating as teens struggled as an adult with food and eventually alcohol and drug addiction. She would come to our house, where this stuff was available but by 13 we were expected to know how to control ourselves, and binge. Her life ended tragically.

I had a friend like this--she would go to other people's houses and just binge on chips, cookies, etc. Her mom was obsessed with being thin and banned anythign that wasn't sugar-free from the home.

[Anonymous]

If he's got a good sense of when he's full, he may never do it again. I remember ONCE eating a big box of chocolates in one sitting as a teen, feeling antsy and headachey, and learning my lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So maybe the answer is we should collectively have LESS junk food as a society, not more. Seems kind of bananas that the answer to your kids not developing a binge disorder is to provide them with more junk food. If this stuff wasn’t addictive, people wouldn’t be binging on it in the first place, ever. Seeing as the vast majority of adults are overweight, keeping junk food all around your house doesn’t create heathy eating habits and teach moderation any better.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 to revisiting food restrictions, OP. I have a lot of issues with food/sweets and I absolutely attribute them to scarcity mindset around food when I was young. Forbidding things does not teach self control, as you've just found.

Also, as a teen I was HUNGRY. As in, not getting enough calories because our meals were planned for dieting adults. Make sure your kid is getting enough protein, fats, and carbs.

All this. A 13 year old boy needs hearty and balanced meals, especially if he’s active and in sports.

I’d also tell him that most people have a food or group of foods that they have binged. Everyone has their kryptonite. Some people avoid that food altogether, others save them for special occasions, etc.

Don’t shame him. But talk to him about strategies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

Apologize for restricting his food so he feels like he needs to binge eat? And buy him a box at Costco.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a thin family. My kids are all stick skinny. We are family friends with parents who are overweight and they have so many restrictions with food. The mom does not allow sugar and is a total nazi about junk food. The kids are growing and thin but the parents are overweight. I would guess mom weighs around 160 pounds on an average frame and dad is 200 pounds on an average height so both large. Their kids have a total complex with food!

is this post a DCUM joke?
160 pounds on an average sized woman (assume 5'6") and 200 pounds on an average sized man (assume 5'10"-6'0") is hardly overweight.
Maybe by 5-10 pounds each? If they're muscular that's not overweight at all.

You think 160 pounds on 5’5” is normal???

I’m currently 5’4” and 135 and I feel very chubby. I’m normally around 125. 125 on 5’4” is thin, not skinny.

I just calculated and 160 on 5’5” is a BMI of almost 27 and that is overweight. I just guessed 160. Now that I think about it, she is probably more. My husband is 170 and she is much bigger than DH.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by consequence? Are you intending to punish him? If so, that seems insane.
However, if you mean a consequence in the sense that he doesn't have unlimited access to full size cookies that he purchases in the future, that seems reasonable. He can give them to you and you can give him a reasonable number (4 or so) per day.