WWYD - 13 yr old just binged on an entire bag of Oreo cookies

[Anonymous]

+1 to revisiting food restrictions, OP. I have a lot of issues with food/sweets and I absolutely attribute them to scarcity mindset around food when I was young. Forbidding things does not teach self control, as you've just found.

Also, as a teen I was HUNGRY. As in, not getting enough calories because our meals were planned for dieting adults. Make sure your kid is getting enough protein, fats, and carbs.

[Anonymous]

Poor, poor kid. I was thankful that it was DS and not DH, but eating disorders many times start with the parents. And not to minimize the gender role; hopefully, it is not the beginning of a larger problem.

My mother use to restrict my food and it did not turn out well.

[Anonymous]

This is why I don’t buy who things of Oreos or any other cookie. If I did I would eat them all. That she ate them all isn’t really a surprise.

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid, I once ate a whole family-sized bag of Doritos. I then felt so so sick that I never had a dorito again! Hopefully your DS will learn a similar lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

Apologize for restricting his food so he feels like he needs to binge eat? And buy him a box at Costco.

+1
I don’t know a single adult who has a good relationship with food if their parents were restrictive and strict with food growing up. My sister and brother in law and dh all have zero control around food that were restricted when they were growing up.
We have an open policy with food and have tons of sweets. I generally throw out a lot when it’s expired bc my kids eat it in moderation when they want bc they know they’ll always have the option. I’ve learned they have a few friends I need to police when they come over bc they will gorge or take large amounts with them. No surprise - these are the families that are strict about food. OP you should teach your kids everything in moderation and try to fix the damage you’ve already caused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would strongly suggest you revisit the food rules of your house. Forbidden foods become sought-after foods. We don’t have food rules here and my ravenous teenager eats a pretty good range of foods, which includes junk food, fruits, vegetables, and lots of other things.

Anyway, my suggestion is that there is no consequence. Maybe he has a stomach ache. Maybe he experiences no effect. The effect of binging a package of Oreos or Girl Scout cookies or…a bag of grapes is minimal, tbh. Focus on teaching life long skills and don’t make foods off limits.

Also, if he’s sneaking video games, revisit those rules, too…

A mental health counselor parent

Let me understand. You're suggesting that parents buy Oreos, Cheetos, and other kinds of junk food in order that these foods not become forbidden foods?

And how would you revisit the rules around video games? Just let him play an unlimited amount?

This sounds like non-parenting to me.

We buy Oreos and my DD has access to them. She’ll eat a few for a snack or dessert with milk and that’s it. She doesn’t have weird behavior around them because she knows there are more if she wants them tomorrow. She also eats healthy foods, that’s most of her diet. She plays sports and is growing. I think good parenting is not being controlling about diet. We set the tone and that includes that treats or desserts are okay.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

[Anonymous]

I did that once as a teen. Believe me, the digestive issues should be adequate natural consequences!

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of a cousin I had growing up. Her parents refused to have a TV at home. So when she visited us, she literally spent HOURS watching tv. That’s all she wanted to do. She was OBSESSED with watching tv because she was deprived of it at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying that - we are saying that eating oreos, even a lot of them, is not a punishable offense for a 13 year old.

[Anonymous]

Now you know what’ll happen if you don’t let him have a girlfriend when he gets old enough🤣🤣🤣🤣😳

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying that - we are saying that eating oreos, even a lot of them, is not a punishable offense for a 13 year old.

You're wrong. Go back and read the previous posts. Several posters are saying that restricting junk food is a terrible thing to do to a child.

[Anonymous]

It’s obvious you want to teach your kid to make healthy food choices, but at 13 they are developing more autonomy and food isn’t an area you want to be fighting them on. You could inadvertently create issues with binge eating. It’s advisable to have reasonable options for “sometime foods” or desserts in the house for him to have in moderation outside of fruit.

Don’t consequent him, his stomach will take care of that natural consequence. But it is time for you to come to terms with him no longer being the little kid whose food intake you can manage in the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

Nothing. He spent his allowance on them and now they are gone. He might feel disgusting, he might get a few more pimples.

This. Let it go. He probably got some gastro issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

Pretty big talk coming from a parent of a kid who just binged a whole bag of Oreos!