Parents- nix these behaviors in your kids before they go to college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professors are exhausting.

Sorry you have to teach in addition to your research nobody will ever read.

If they need to learn something, guess what.., you’re a teacher, teach them.

I think professors should have to work in the real world instead of being in their lame academia bubble.

Then who will teach your child? YOU?!

How about teachers. Teachers would love to make the salary of a professor and actually teach.

You understand that there’s a difference between a middle school teacher and a global expert in chemical engineering, right? One of these is not equipped to teach at the college level. And frankly, you’re damn lucky that professor has decided to teach—they could make waaaay more in industry.

Yeah...but things can get a little whacky from time-to-time. My kid's AP Physics teacher at his public HS has a PhD and used to teach college Physics. He left college teaching because he was at a middling university where quite honestly he was never going to teach a kid that had any chance of going to MIT (while at the HS he basically teaches one kid a year on average that does so) and the tenure track looked miserable.

I suppose he could work in industry, although he enjoys teaching.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all these replies, but few posts have incensed me more. (And I am a university professor.) My kid has ADHD and dyslexia. His problem is that he won't ask for help or clarification because of experiences asking for help from teachers who put him down for not knowing basic things that he should have known. (And yes you can tell him something three times, and he may still not "hear" you.) Go back and figure it out yourself was the answer from elementary school teachers who truly scarred him. An arrogant attitude like yours would shut him up forever. I have become a much more understanding professor now that I am the parent of a special needs teen. You never know who you are dealing with and why they behave the way they do. Deal with your class issues in a respectful way as you help your students build good life skills. That is part of your job. Just like I have to teach STEM kids how to write even if they "should" have learned it from someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can just imagine what the response here would be if someone posted that their child was told by their professor that they needed to shower…sexual harassment! Discrimination! Overstep! Cultural insensitivity! My child is neurodiverse and is averse to water! How dare they?! Stay in your lane! Et cetera, et cetera.

You nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can just imagine what the response here would be if someone posted that their child was told by their professor that they needed to shower…sexual harassment! Discrimination! Overstep! Cultural insensitivity! My child is neurodiverse and is averse to water! How dare they?! Stay in your lane! Et cetera, et cetera.

Seriously! Or if a professor told a kid how to write a respectful email? CNN would have a field day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all these replies, but few posts have incensed me more. (And I am a university professor.) My kid has ADHD and dyslexia. His problem is that he won't ask for help or clarification because of experiences asking for help from teachers who put him down for not knowing basic things that he should have known. (And yes you can tell him something three times, and he may still not "hear" you.) Go back and figure it out yourself was the answer from elementary school teachers who truly scarred him. An arrogant attitude like yours would shut him up forever. I have become a much more understanding professor now that I am the parent of a special needs teen. You never know who you are dealing with and why they behave the way they do. Deal with your class issues in a respectful way as you help your students build good life skills. That is part of your job. Just like I have to teach STEM kids how to write even if they "should" have learned it from someone else.

Calm down, Poindexter. Professors typically get notified about special needs students, & they take that into account.

The whole special needs topic is a red herring in this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all these replies, but few posts have incensed me more. (And I am a university professor.) My kid has ADHD and dyslexia. His problem is that he won't ask for help or clarification because of experiences asking for help from teachers who put him down for not knowing basic things that he should have known. (And yes you can tell him something three times, and he may still not "hear" you.) Go back and figure it out yourself was the answer from elementary school teachers who truly scarred him. An arrogant attitude like yours would shut him up forever. I have become a much more understanding professor now that I am the parent of a special needs teen. You never know who you are dealing with and why they behave the way they do. Deal with your class issues in a respectful way as you help your students build good life skills. That is part of your job. Just like I have to teach STEM kids how to write even if they "should" have learned it from someone else.

Hmmm...my kid has dyslexia and ADHD. It doesn't give him a pass. He knows that he might ask some boneheaded questions but, in order do that, he has to pay more attention to how he asks those questions. He has to be respectful and acknowledge that its information he might have missed. Also, pay basic attention to punctuation and spelling. And never have air pods in when talking to a professor.

Some teachers are going to be jerks regardless but he has to do the work on his side to get the best result possible under the circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, PP. Total red herring. Just because there are some kids who need different supports doesn't mean that for the vast majority, they need to get it in gear. I'm the parent of a ND student, by the way.

[Anonymous]

OP is absolutely right.

However, the kids who do not have such bad habits, and who are good students, personable, professional, proactive and engaged - they did not start learning these habits in HS. This is the result of lifelong good parenting. They have to be taught these lessons from the time they are young. Basic manners and life skills, how to dress and behave appropriately, how to write letters and emails. how to manage time and projects, how to greet people.

If students are behaving like animals, it is because they are being raised by parents who are just like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all these replies, but few posts have incensed me more. (And I am a university professor.) My kid has ADHD and dyslexia. His problem is that he won't ask for help or clarification because of experiences asking for help from teachers who put him down for not knowing basic things that he should have known. (And yes you can tell him something three times, and he may still not "hear" you.) Go back and figure it out yourself was the answer from elementary school teachers who truly scarred him. An arrogant attitude like yours would shut him up forever. I have become a much more understanding professor now that I am the parent of a special needs teen. You never know who you are dealing with and why they behave the way they do. Deal with your class issues in a respectful way as you help your students build good life skills. That is part of your job. Just like I have to teach STEM kids how to write even if they "should" have learned it from someone else.

Calm down, Poindexter. Professors typically get notified about special needs students, & they take that into account.

The whole special needs topic is a red herring in this discussion.

This. 1000%. I’ve re-read the OP a few times and there is no reason to think they were targeting SN. Also as another professor at an Ivy we are notified of SN and we definitely take this into account and there are many university resources in place to help SN students be successful. Any faculty, even tenured, who doesn’t adhere to these accommodations would be fired. The OP is clearly referring to situations that all faculty encounter and it does get worse every year. If this thread became a SN thread it’s only because parents of SN decided to make it that way.

[Anonymous]

Poindextor here. I am glad for those who have a well-adjusted SN kid. Count yourself lucky. My kid doesn't wear ear pods or whatever. They do the best they can and still beat themselves up when they do something "stupid." I have had SN kids in my classes of course, but I used to get frustrated with them (in my mind, hopefully never in person). OP comes off as a total jerk. I suspect troll actually. But if not, maybe watch yourself with how you deal with kids who frustrate you. Anyhow, times change. Do your part to be part of the solution. Don't pass the buck. I don't when I get STEM kids who can't write. I help them, often for hours and hours and hours. It is my job. You might find that you feel good when you help kids become more responsible, and rather than grip, you will celebrate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Prof,

I have been working on these and other skills for years with my ADHD/ASD kid.

He will mess up, despite being explicitly taught these things. He's in contact with the disability office and has already asked you for his extended time.

He had high stats and is an academic, intellectual person, which is why your place of employment accepted him. Sorry, but he's always going to be an absent-minded professor type, and his brain is somewhere in the vicinity of Pluto most of the time.

And you know who it hurts most? Not you. HIM. He is destined to go through life with ADHD and ASD and all his social quirks. You've only got to suffer him for your class. He has to suffer himself for life.

Best regards,

Mom.

Oh FFS stop using their disabilities like a crutch. The professor is right and if your poor addled ADHD kids you have probably hovered over and made excuses for and bulldozed a path for over the years can’t meet basic expectations, you failed them.

Would you say that to someone in a wheelchair? Obviously you have no clue about how hard it is to have a kid with Autism/ADD and in my case epilopsy. So glad you have it figured out that you blame the mom.

Well, considering I am legally deaf, I have plenty of ideas. And I absolutely would say that to someone in a wheelchair if they were being constantly whiny and demanding everything be about accommodating them. The people I know who use wheelchairs are fiercely independent and don’t make excuses, nor do their mommies constantly bulldoze. I have learned how to function with my disability. Why can’t your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Prof,

I have been working on these and other skills for years with my ADHD/ASD kid.

He will mess up, despite being explicitly taught these things. He's in contact with the disability office and has already asked you for his extended time.

He had high stats and is an academic, intellectual person, which is why your place of employment accepted him. Sorry, but he's always going to be an absent-minded professor type, and his brain is somewhere in the vicinity of Pluto most of the time.

And you know who it hurts most? Not you. HIM. He is destined to go through life with ADHD and ASD and all his social quirks. You've only got to suffer him for your class. He has to suffer himself for life.

Best regards,

Mom.

This. I have two SN kids - yes working with Disability Services at both schools - Professor needs to realize that not every child can measure up to his expectations. Learn some charity

And yet the majority of kids do NOT have SN, and they many exhibit these behaviors. That’s from poor, permissive, low standards parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:dear college professor,

why did you go into education if you are not willing to do the job of educating people?

you sound like the kind of professor that nobody says take their class, they are awesome.

signed most people

Profs are subject matter experts, not etiquette or communication educators.

nah they are teachers that made up some fancy title.

Oh, you’re a child. Shhhh, the adults are talking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Prof,

I have been working on these and other skills for years with my ADHD/ASD kid.

He will mess up, despite being explicitly taught these things. He's in contact with the disability office and has already asked you for his extended time.

He had high stats and is an academic, intellectual person, which is why your place of employment accepted him. Sorry, but he's always going to be an absent-minded professor type, and his brain is somewhere in the vicinity of Pluto most of the time.

And you know who it hurts most? Not you. HIM. He is destined to go through life with ADHD and ASD and all his social quirks. You've only got to suffer him for your class. He has to suffer himself for life.

Best regards,

Mom.

Oh FFS stop using their disabilities like a crutch. The professor is right and if your poor addled ADHD kids you have probably hovered over and made excuses for and bulldozed a path for over the years can’t meet basic expectations, you failed them.

dp.. obviously, people with ADHD have a harder time, but seriously, you cannot keep using this crutch into the workplace. Your boss won't care that you miss deadlines, and your coworkers won't care if you have adhd when you smell so badly no one wants to be in the conference room with you.

I often wonder what the plan is for all these SNs college grads. Do you steer them into becoming a CPA or actuary or computer programmer, etc. where they perhaps don't have to interact much with clients/customers? I mean the descriptions seem to indicate they have real problems functioning in the world.

A lot of them become academics actually. Please stop wondering about our children since it has no impact on you.

Huh...the SNs kids that have trouble functioning in college become academics. Strange why the various parents seem to claim OP is targeting them.

You know, because they are actually smart and a lot of the shit that OP mentioned really doesn't matter.

You are impressively wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Prof,

I have been working on these and other skills for years with my ADHD/ASD kid.

He will mess up, despite being explicitly taught these things. He's in contact with the disability office and has already asked you for his extended time.

He had high stats and is an academic, intellectual person, which is why your place of employment accepted him. Sorry, but he's always going to be an absent-minded professor type, and his brain is somewhere in the vicinity of Pluto most of the time.

And you know who it hurts most? Not you. HIM. He is destined to go through life with ADHD and ASD and all his social quirks. You've only got to suffer him for your class. He has to suffer himself for life.

Best regards,

Mom.

This. I have two SN kids - yes working with Disability Services at both schools - Professor needs to realize that not every child can measure up to his expectations. Learn some charity

If your child can’t meet basic expectations they are in the wrong place. Just because someone can score high points on tests doesn’t mean they should be at a demanding university.

HAHAHAHHAHA that's exactly what it means sweet cheeks. The university thought so too.

Are you a teenager? I’m so embarrassed for you. Truly.