My niece just screwed herself

[Anonymous]

People of the younger generations are living shorter lives? Where is the data on that imaginary theory! Amazing that when you and your peers are called out on all the whining you do on DCUM while acting like it's older people's fault you can still find a way to blame your elders and take no responsibility for yourself. I will agree that at least your parents seem to have definitely done a pretty poor job of raising you.

The CDC's National Center For Health Statistics, for one. Also Harvard Health and others, but no need to derail the thread. Here is a link: https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/u-s-life-expectancy-decreased-alarming-amount-during-pandemic-n1272206

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

People of the younger generations are living shorter lives? Where is the data on that imaginary theory! Amazing that when you and your peers are called out on all the whining you do on DCUM while acting like it's older people's fault you can still find a way to blame your elders and take no responsibility for yourself. I will agree that at least your parents seem to have definitely done a pretty poor job of raising you.

The CDC's National Center For Health Statistics, for one. Also Harvard Health and others, but no need to derail the thread. Here is a link: https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/u-s-life-expectancy-decreased-alarming-amount-during-pandemic-n1272206

NP. I’d rather die at my peak than turn into a dementia-riddled, broken down burden on society and the planet. Why is living until the last possible second always the goal with some people? I’d rather die at 80 with some of my wits and dignity still about me than go out at 103 with no memories, bodily integrity or driving purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend did all of her thank you notes right after the honeymoon. Addressed. Stamped.
Done


12 years later she found them in the bottom drawer of an old dresser.

I was coming on here to say something similar, except it was the thank you notes my son wrote for his HS graduation. He just started his first post college job, and we just found found them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People of the younger generations are living shorter lives? Where is the data on that imaginary theory! Amazing that when you and your peers are called out on all the whining you do on DCUM while acting like it's older people's fault you can still find a way to blame your elders and take no responsibility for yourself. I will agree that at least your parents seem to have definitely done a pretty poor job of raising you.

The CDC's National Center For Health Statistics, for one. Also Harvard Health and others, but no need to derail the thread. Here is a link: https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/u-s-life-expectancy-decreased-alarming-amount-during-pandemic-n1272206

NP. I’d rather die at my peak than turn into a dementia-riddled, broken down burden on society and the planet. Why is living until the last possible second always the goal with some people? I’d rather die at 80 with some of my wits and dignity still about me than go out at 103 with no memories, bodily integrity or driving purpose.

How old are you now? When you're 80, you might change your mind. If you make it that far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

People of the younger generations are living shorter lives? Where is the data on that imaginary theory! Amazing that when you and your peers are called out on all the whining you do on DCUM while acting like it's older people's fault you can still find a way to blame your elders and take no responsibility for yourself. I will agree that at least your parents seem to have definitely done a pretty poor job of raising you.

The CDC's National Center For Health Statistics, for one. Also Harvard Health and others, but no need to derail the thread. Here is a link: https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/u-s-life-expectancy-decreased-alarming-amount-during-pandemic-n1272206

NP. I’d rather die at my peak than turn into a dementia-riddled, broken down burden on society and the planet. Why is living until the last possible second always the goal with some people? I’d rather die at 80 with some of my wits and dignity still about me than go out at 103 with no memories, bodily integrity or driving purpose.

How old are you now? When you're 80, you might change your mind. If you make it that far.

Doubt it. I don’t get what you don’t get about this. Many of us who have seen relatives decline have a lot of experience with this. My cousin has a grandma on her other family side who is 103. She constantly says, “Jesus forgot me,” “All my friends are dead,” “I don’t want another birthday.” And she’s even in pretty decent shape physically.

[Anonymous]

Given that this thread is about the niece and a wedding gift, how about we take any further discussion of life expectancy to its own thread:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1149464.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend did all of her thank you notes right after the honeymoon. Addressed. Stamped.
Done


12 years later she found them in the bottom drawer of an old dresser.

I was coming on here to say something similar, except it was the thank you notes my son wrote for his HS graduation. He just started his first post college job, and we just found found them.

Still have an unmailed thank you to a cousin from 1973. She’s been informed it surfaced.

Sadly the Apple doesn’t fall far, bc I found some my kid wrote in 2013.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Niece and/or her spouse absolutely should have written a thank you note, or at the very least, called to thank OP.

2) Literally not one person has said that it’s OK not to acknowledge a gift. Stop trying to make that part of your “argument,” because you are making that up and inserting that so you have something to make your argument stronger. Because:

3) What most of us are actually saying, is that when someone fails to properly acknowledge a gift—even though that is hurtful—the mature, polite, and kind thing to do is…move past it. The snub, though hurtful, does not warrant an unhinged post about anyone “screwing themselves” on the Internet, and it certainly doesn’t warrant OP cutting ties with her niece. That’s the point. Argue with that. Make the case that a faux pas on the part of the niece merits being cut off and gossiped about by the aunt. Make THAT case.

How very interesting that not one of you OP defenders has found a way to argue the actual case at hand.

Those of us who actually read the OP and the thread know that she didn't cut ties with the niece at all and venting on DCUM is not the same as gossiping with friends and family. There, I made THAT case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Niece and/or her spouse absolutely should have written a thank you note, or at the very least, called to thank OP.

2) Literally not one person has said that it’s OK not to acknowledge a gift. Stop trying to make that part of your “argument,” because you are making that up and inserting that so you have something to make your argument stronger. Because:

3) What most of us are actually saying, is that when someone fails to properly acknowledge a gift—even though that is hurtful—the mature, polite, and kind thing to do is…move past it. The snub, though hurtful, does not warrant an unhinged post about anyone “screwing themselves” on the Internet, and it certainly doesn’t warrant OP cutting ties with her niece. That’s the point. Argue with that. Make the case that a faux pas on the part of the niece merits being cut off and gossiped about by the aunt. Make THAT case.

How very interesting that not one of you OP defenders has found a way to argue the actual case at hand.

Those of us who actually read the OP and the thread know that she didn't cut ties with the niece at all and venting on DCUM is not the same as gossiping with friends and family. There, I made THAT case.

So then what is OP’s point? She needs this much attention because of one not-great interaction with her niece? That is really something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend did all of her thank you notes right after the honeymoon. Addressed. Stamped.
Done


12 years later she found them in the bottom drawer of an old dresser.

This happened to me. Not all of them, but a substantial number. I did a big batch of them BEFORE the honeymoon, thought I mailed them but didn't, and didn't find them until like 9 months later when we were moving. I dropped them in the mail that day and felt super guilty, but hoped people would understand.

If they didn't, oh well, they must not have cared about me very much if something like that would make them angry enough to write me off forever as OP is doing.

This happened to me too and I still don’t know how. I mailed some out but another stack got left behind and forgotten until I found them years later. They were addressed and stamped. I felt so bad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Niece and/or her spouse absolutely should have written a thank you note, or at the very least, called to thank OP.

2) Literally not one person has said that it’s OK not to acknowledge a gift. Stop trying to make that part of your “argument,” because you are making that up and inserting that so you have something to make your argument stronger. Because:

3) What most of us are actually saying, is that when someone fails to properly acknowledge a gift—even though that is hurtful—the mature, polite, and kind thing to do is…move past it. The snub, though hurtful, does not warrant an unhinged post about anyone “screwing themselves” on the Internet, and it certainly doesn’t warrant OP cutting ties with her niece. That’s the point. Argue with that. Make the case that a faux pas on the part of the niece merits being cut off and gossiped about by the aunt. Make THAT case.

How very interesting that not one of you OP defenders has found a way to argue the actual case at hand.

Those of us who actually read the OP and the thread know that she didn't cut ties with the niece at all and venting on DCUM is not the same as gossiping with friends and family. There, I made THAT case.

So then what is OP’s point? She needs this much attention because of one not-great interaction with her niece? That is really something.

Are you new here?!?! If you don’t want to read petty vents, feel free to move along. I would be pissed if I didn’t get any acknowledgement of a $1000 gift and don’t consider it petty at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Niece and/or her spouse absolutely should have written a thank you note, or at the very least, called to thank OP.

2) Literally not one person has said that it’s OK not to acknowledge a gift. Stop trying to make that part of your “argument,” because you are making that up and inserting that so you have something to make your argument stronger. Because:

3) What most of us are actually saying, is that when someone fails to properly acknowledge a gift—even though that is hurtful—the mature, polite, and kind thing to do is…move past it. The snub, though hurtful, does not warrant an unhinged post about anyone “screwing themselves” on the Internet, and it certainly doesn’t warrant OP cutting ties with her niece. That’s the point. Argue with that. Make the case that a faux pas on the part of the niece merits being cut off and gossiped about by the aunt. Make THAT case.

How very interesting that not one of you OP defenders has found a way to argue the actual case at hand.

Those of us who actually read the OP and the thread know that she didn't cut ties with the niece at all and venting on DCUM is not the same as gossiping with friends and family. There, I made THAT case.

So then what is OP’s point? She needs this much attention because of one not-great interaction with her niece? That is really something.

OP's point is she is dismayed that she did not get a thank you for a $1000 wedding gift from her niece and she wants to know if other people agree or disagree. Now she knows. Lots of people agree, and lots of other people would not be dismayed by the lack of thank you, they think that's no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Niece and/or her spouse absolutely should have written a thank you note, or at the very least, called to thank OP.

2) Literally not one person has said that it’s OK not to acknowledge a gift. Stop trying to make that part of your “argument,” because you are making that up and inserting that so you have something to make your argument stronger. Because:

3) What most of us are actually saying, is that when someone fails to properly acknowledge a gift—even though that is hurtful—the mature, polite, and kind thing to do is…move past it. The snub, though hurtful, does not warrant an unhinged post about anyone “screwing themselves” on the Internet, and it certainly doesn’t warrant OP cutting ties with her niece. That’s the point. Argue with that. Make the case that a faux pas on the part of the niece merits being cut off and gossiped about by the aunt. Make THAT case.

How very interesting that not one of you OP defenders has found a way to argue the actual case at hand.

Those of us who actually read the OP and the thread know that she didn't cut ties with the niece at all and venting on DCUM is not the same as gossiping with friends and family. There, I made THAT case.

So then what is OP’s point? She needs this much attention because of one not-great interaction with her niece? That is really something.

OP's point is she is dismayed that she did not get a thank you for a $1000 wedding gift from her niece and she wants to know if other people agree or disagree. Now she knows. Lots of people agree, and lots of other people would not be dismayed by the lack of thank you, they think that's no big deal.

Then why didn’t she frame it as “I’m disappointed” vs. what she actually did, which is smug around about how “screwed” her niece is now, and how she’s done giving her gifts forever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Niece and/or her spouse absolutely should have written a thank you note, or at the very least, called to thank OP.

2) Literally not one person has said that it’s OK not to acknowledge a gift. Stop trying to make that part of your “argument,” because you are making that up and inserting that so you have something to make your argument stronger. Because:

3) What most of us are actually saying, is that when someone fails to properly acknowledge a gift—even though that is hurtful—the mature, polite, and kind thing to do is…move past it. The snub, though hurtful, does not warrant an unhinged post about anyone “screwing themselves” on the Internet, and it certainly doesn’t warrant OP cutting ties with her niece. That’s the point. Argue with that. Make the case that a faux pas on the part of the niece merits being cut off and gossiped about by the aunt. Make THAT case.

How very interesting that not one of you OP defenders has found a way to argue the actual case at hand.

Those of us who actually read the OP and the thread know that she didn't cut ties with the niece at all and venting on DCUM is not the same as gossiping with friends and family. There, I made THAT case.

So then what is OP’s point? She needs this much attention because of one not-great interaction with her niece? That is really something.

OP's point is she is dismayed that she did not get a thank you for a $1000 wedding gift from her niece and she wants to know if other people agree or disagree. Now she knows. Lots of people agree, and lots of other people would not be dismayed by the lack of thank you, they think that's no big deal.

Then why didn’t she frame it as “I’m disappointed” vs. what she actually did, which is smug around about how “screwed” her niece is now, and how she’s done giving her gifts forever?

She framed it that way because that's how she feels and she's not giving that niece anymore gifts. Why do you have such a huge problem with this? I'm dismayed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend did all of her thank you notes right after the honeymoon. Addressed. Stamped.
Done


12 years later she found them in the bottom drawer of an old dresser.

I was coming on here to say something similar, except it was the thank you notes my son wrote for his HS graduation. He just started his first post college job, and we just found found them.

Still have an unmailed thank you to a cousin from 1973. She’s been informed it surfaced.

Sadly the Apple doesn’t fall far, bc I found some my kid wrote in 2013.

Thank you for sharing. You’re not alone and reading these stories makes me feel less guilty!
After my late husband died I wrote thank you notes while I was still in shock. At the end of the school year we packed up and moved to another state to be close to family.
A full decade later we moved again in 2022. I had a handful of bankers boxes I had never opened and thought I should not lug to next location.
And 😬 one of the boxes had 50+ addressed, sealed, stamped thank you cards. I was horrified. And really overthought/felt guilty about it for too long. Finally reflected that no one in our orbit who truly cared would have wanted me to be guilt-ridden over this. So I really appreciate those of you who are sharing thank you note fails.