Sorority recruitment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To summarize op, if your daughter will be traumatized if she is not given a bid to a “top” sorority, she should consider whether sorority rush is right for her. If she is open minded and looking for a group of girls that she might be compatible with, then she will likely do well.

The trauma is not about “top houses”. It’s about getting dropped by all but one house (and maybe one they didn’t like) only half way through rush. If that scenario is ok with your DD, then it’s ok.

That’s how the process works, both the girls and sororities winnow down so no girl will have more than 3 options on the last night. Other girls may have one or two. This is all explained to the girls beforehand.

If not getting invited back to any particular sorority is going to be traumatic for a girl, rush isn’t for them. Some girls aren’t as invested in a particular sorority or are fine with dropping out of rush if they don’t get into the one they want.

So every girl who starts the rush process and doesn’t drop out will have 1, 2, or 3 invitations to the final night? No girl will have zero invitations?

And if you’re invited to 1, 2, or 3 final night parties you’re guaranteed to get into one of them/there’s no chance that all of them drop you at that point?

(DP just trying to understand).

Still no guarantees.

Incorrect, a girl will get a bid as long as she lists all the sororities on her match list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To summarize op, if your daughter will be traumatized if she is not given a bid to a “top” sorority, she should consider whether sorority rush is right for her. If she is open minded and looking for a group of girls that she might be compatible with, then she will likely do well.

The trauma is not about “top houses”. It’s about getting dropped by all but one house (and maybe one they didn’t like) only half way through rush. If that scenario is ok with your DD, then it’s ok.

That’s how the process works, both the girls and sororities winnow down so no girl will have more than 3 options on the last night. Other girls may have one or two. This is all explained to the girls beforehand.

If not getting invited back to any particular sorority is going to be traumatic for a girl, rush isn’t for them. Some girls aren’t as invested in a particular sorority or are fine with dropping out of rush if they don’t get into the one they want.

Do you understand that PP isn't talking about not getting invited back by any particular sorority, she's talking about not getting invited back by any sorority that a girl was interested in.

Same difference. Every girl should enter the process knowing she may not get into the sororities she thinks she wants. All that is promised to girls who rush to the end is a bid, it may not be their initially preferred bid. If that prospect is upsetting, they should not rush, but all of this is explained upfront.

Exactly, some girls need to learn that their place is in the reject house.

The Panhellenic council doesn’t believe any house is a “reject” house, that is your own extremely harsh and superficial judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To summarize op, if your daughter will be traumatized if she is not given a bid to a “top” sorority, she should consider whether sorority rush is right for her. If she is open minded and looking for a group of girls that she might be compatible with, then she will likely do well.

The trauma is not about “top houses”. It’s about getting dropped by all but one house (and maybe one they didn’t like) only half way through rush. If that scenario is ok with your DD, then it’s ok.

That’s how the process works, both the girls and sororities winnow down so no girl will have more than 3 options on the last night. Other girls may have one or two. This is all explained to the girls beforehand.

If not getting invited back to any particular sorority is going to be traumatic for a girl, rush isn’t for them. Some girls aren’t as invested in a particular sorority or are fine with dropping out of rush if they don’t get into the one they want.

So every girl who starts the rush process and doesn’t drop out will have 1, 2, or 3 invitations to the final night? No girl will have zero invitations?

And if you’re invited to 1, 2, or 3 final night parties you’re guaranteed to get into one of them/there’s no chance that all of them drop you at that point?

(DP just trying to understand).

Still no guarantees.

Incorrect, a girl will get a bid as long as she lists all the sororities on her match list.

Incorrect. That’s the way it’s supposed to go. It doesn’t not always happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To summarize op, if your daughter will be traumatized if she is not given a bid to a “top” sorority, she should consider whether sorority rush is right for her. If she is open minded and looking for a group of girls that she might be compatible with, then she will likely do well.

The trauma is not about “top houses”. It’s about getting dropped by all but one house (and maybe one they didn’t like) only half way through rush. If that scenario is ok with your DD, then it’s ok.

That’s how the process works, both the girls and sororities winnow down so no girl will have more than 3 options on the last night. Other girls may have one or two. This is all explained to the girls beforehand.

If not getting invited back to any particular sorority is going to be traumatic for a girl, rush isn’t for them. Some girls aren’t as invested in a particular sorority or are fine with dropping out of rush if they don’t get into the one they want.

Do you understand that PP isn't talking about not getting invited back by any particular sorority, she's talking about not getting invited back by any sorority that a girl was interested in.

Same difference. Every girl should enter the process knowing she may not get into the sororities she thinks she wants. All that is promised to girls who rush to the end is a bid, it may not be their initially preferred bid. If that prospect is upsetting, they should not rush, but all of this is explained upfront.

Exactly, some girls need to learn that their place is in the reject house.

The Panhellenic council doesn’t believe any house is a “reject” house, that is your own extremely harsh and superficial judgment.

Exactly +1

When I was in a sorority back in the dark ages, we had one house that was a very big national name but was a weak kind of "catch all" chapter on campus. One year when I was there, a group of girls all decided to go there rather than drop out. I can tell you they did have a good experience and actually really made it a stronger sorority for doing so.

[Anonymous]

There is no reason why a grown woman would be so defensive of these organizations and the process unless she works for them.

Lots of sad moms and girls here and so little compassion from the defender, it tells me what I need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why a grown woman would be so defensive of these organizations and the process unless she works for them.

Lots of sad moms and girls here and so little compassion from the defender, it tells me what I need to know.

Lol, I don’t work for them, but I was rush director of my sorority and just trying to clarify the rampant misinformation being spread here, particularly for op, who had genuine questions about how the process works.

I’m sorry your daughter was disappointed with the process. With my own children, I usually try to help them put their disappointments in perspective rather than adopting them as my own tragedies. You do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To summarize op, if your daughter will be traumatized if she is not given a bid to a “top” sorority, she should consider whether sorority rush is right for her. If she is open minded and looking for a group of girls that she might be compatible with, then she will likely do well.

The trauma is not about “top houses”. It’s about getting dropped by all but one house (and maybe one they didn’t like) only half way through rush. If that scenario is ok with your DD, then it’s ok.

That’s how the process works, both the girls and sororities winnow down so no girl will have more than 3 options on the last night. Other girls may have one or two. This is all explained to the girls beforehand.

If not getting invited back to any particular sorority is going to be traumatic for a girl, rush isn’t for them. Some girls aren’t as invested in a particular sorority or are fine with dropping out of rush if they don’t get into the one they want.

Do you understand that PP isn't talking about not getting invited back by any particular sorority, she's talking about not getting invited back by any sorority that a girl was interested in.

Same difference. Every girl should enter the process knowing she may not get into the sororities she thinks she wants. All that is promised to girls who rush to the end is a bid, it may not be their initially preferred bid. If that prospect is upsetting, they should not rush, but all of this is explained upfront.

Exactly, some girls need to learn that their place is in the reject house.

The Panhellenic council doesn’t believe any house is a “reject” house, that is your own extremely harsh and superficial judgment.

Of course not. All the houses are equal, it's just happenstance that one or two houses are the catch alls every year and it really is just a coincidence that those houses only ever have mixers with the catch all frats.

[Anonymous]

Also, remember that each house has a large number of sisters. A girl may have 10 girls she knows and likes in the sorority. If she goes to a rush party and just talks to them, she likely won’t get in. Not because they “turn” on her because the other girls in the sorority who she doesn’t know still don’t know her after the party. It’s critical that a girl meet as many sisters as possible at each party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why a grown woman would be so defensive of these organizations and the process unless she works for them.

Lots of sad moms and girls here and so little compassion from the defender, it tells me what I need to know.

Lol, I don’t work for them, but I was rush director of my sorority and just trying to clarify the rampant misinformation being spread here, particularly for op, who had genuine questions about how the process works.

I’m sorry your daughter was disappointed with the process. With my own children, I usually try to help them put their disappointments in perspective rather than adopting them as my own tragedies. You do you.

People having different experiences than you is not misinformation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, remember that each house has a large number of sisters. A girl may have 10 girls she knows and likes in the sorority. If she goes to a rush party and just talks to them, she likely won’t get in. Not because they “turn” on her because the other girls in the sorority who she doesn’t know still don’t know her after the party. It’s critical that a girl meet as many sisters as possible at each party.

In 20 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why a grown woman would be so defensive of these organizations and the process unless she works for them.

Lots of sad moms and girls here and so little compassion from the defender, it tells me what I need to know.

Nope haha do not work work for my sorority LOL, but I know how it was for me and I know how it was for my DD, so just passing along an alternate view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why a grown woman would be so defensive of these organizations and the process unless she works for them.

Lots of sad moms and girls here and so little compassion from the defender, it tells me what I need to know.

Lol, I don’t work for them, but I was rush director of my sorority and just trying to clarify the rampant misinformation being spread here, particularly for op, who had genuine questions about how the process works.

I’m sorry your daughter was disappointed with the process. With my own children, I usually try to help them put their disappointments in perspective rather than adopting them as my own tragedies. You do you.

People having different experiences than you is not misinformation.

and ditto... both sides are true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To summarize op, if your daughter will be traumatized if she is not given a bid to a “top” sorority, she should consider whether sorority rush is right for her. If she is open minded and looking for a group of girls that she might be compatible with, then she will likely do well.

The trauma is not about “top houses”. It’s about getting dropped by all but one house (and maybe one they didn’t like) only half way through rush. If that scenario is ok with your DD, then it’s ok.

That’s how the process works, both the girls and sororities winnow down so no girl will have more than 3 options on the last night. Other girls may have one or two. This is all explained to the girls beforehand.

If not getting invited back to any particular sorority is going to be traumatic for a girl, rush isn’t for them. Some girls aren’t as invested in a particular sorority or are fine with dropping out of rush if they don’t get into the one they want.

Do you understand that PP isn't talking about not getting invited back by any particular sorority, she's talking about not getting invited back by any sorority that a girl was interested in.

Bold is what matters. Why aren't they interested? what do they KNOW about that sorority that makes it not what they are "interested in"? What makes a sorority one that they are "interested in"? Alot of times its based reputation and popularity because let's face it that is what freshman girls care about. Which sorority mixes with the fraternity that has the best looking or coolest guys? These girls don't really KNOW anything about any of the houses when they start rush. Its highly unlikely they even know girls in the houses. So the point is, go through the process, don't rule out the houses that invited you back until you have had 3+ opportunities to talk to different girls in the house and then decide if you could see yourself there. My DD was dropped by all but her bottom ranked four houses after first round. Even houses she knew people in and was dirty rushed, even the house where she is a legacy. All dropped her. She called me in tears and said is this wrong, did I rank them wrong? Nope that is just how it was. Thankfully she had one house still on her list that objectively she had the best conversations with the first day. The problem was simply that she'd never heard of them, so she thought they were not a good house. Well I spoke to her and said, you loved the girls you spoke with there, so just keep going, meet more people, see where it goes and you can always pull out at the end of nothing else is a fit. Came down to pref and had this one house she liked and another she could not see herself in, but she had at least met then four times and really gave them a fair shake. Thankfully she got into the one she liked, and would not have accepted a bit to the other one, but again that is her prerogative.

My point is that she gave them a shot, even though they were not "popular" and didn't mix with the top frats (yuck who likes those guys anyway?). So many girls have that initial rejection from what they thought they wanted, and drop, so they don't give the other houses a chance and you can't tell me that in one 20 min conversation with 1-2 girls they knew enough about it to say it wasn't a fit or that they know enough to be "interested" or not. Sometimes someone is just not having a good day and doesn't come across well, or perhaps that one girl wasn't really a fit for the rushee, but if they came back to the next round, they may have met their very best friend.

Wise post. You sound like a good mom and I'm glad your DD found a good group of girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why a grown woman would be so defensive of these organizations and the process unless she works for them.

Lots of sad moms and girls here and so little compassion from the defender, it tells me what I need to know.

Lol, I don’t work for them, but I was rush director of my sorority and just trying to clarify the rampant misinformation being spread here, particularly for op, who had genuine questions about how the process works.

I’m sorry your daughter was disappointed with the process. With my own children, I usually try to help them put their disappointments in perspective rather than adopting them as my own tragedies. You do you.

People having different experiences than you is not misinformation.

Actually rush is very uniform across schools, they might differ in size of rush and how that affects final numbers. Most sororities have a rep from the National office present during rush who makes sure a sorority is uniform in how it deals with rush across campuses.

Every school that has a formal rush will use the match process designed to get bids in hands of the most girls, and give every house the opportunity for a full pledge class. If the rules were different, some houses would get a lot more girls and some girls would get a lot more bids, but that is not the structure that was chosen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why a grown woman would be so defensive of these organizations and the process unless she works for them.

Lots of sad moms and girls here and so little compassion from the defender, it tells me what I need to know.

Lol, I don’t work for them, but I was rush director of my sorority and just trying to clarify the rampant misinformation being spread here, particularly for op, who had genuine questions about how the process works.

I’m sorry your daughter was disappointed with the process. With my own children, I usually try to help them put their disappointments in perspective rather than adopting them as my own tragedies. You do you.

People having different experiences than you is not misinformation.

Actually rush is very uniform across schools, they might differ in size of rush and how that affects final numbers. Most sororities have a rep from the National office present during rush who makes sure a sorority is uniform in how it deals with rush across campuses.

Every school that has a formal rush will use the match process designed to get bids in hands of the most girls, and give every house the opportunity for a full pledge class. If the rules were different, some houses would get a lot more girls and some girls would get a lot more bids, but that is not the structure that was chosen.

Maybe my college was unique, but we had some houses that were much larger than others