Offended over hand-me-downs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you pass on hand me downs you filter out the torn and stained and worn out crap, obviously. You pass on only the barely worn things, that can pass for nearly new. Everyone knows this. You don't want a baby's onesie stained in puke etc you want a clean one.

I think this is obvious to those of us who like getting hand-me-downs and who know what to pass along to others.

What is bizarre is the people assuming all hand me downs have already been worn by multiple kids and are ruined. Those clothes should go in recycling bins.

There's what should happen and there is what does happen. I have certainly gotten stained tattered clothes from well meaning people that I found unusable. And I have also saved clothes for my own kids and when it came time to wear them discovered spots and stains that I don't remember being there. Sometimes being in storage bring those things out. I think sometimes people just have different standards of what is acceptable for their kids to wear or they just notice stains that stand out to others. But most used clothes look used especially the older the kid who wear the clothes longer and play harder in them. After my kids were out of baby clothes I had no interest in anyone's hand me downs because they just never looked that great unless it was a party or holiday dress that had only been worn one time. But that faded t-shirt? No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you pass on hand me downs you filter out the torn and stained and worn out crap, obviously. You pass on only the barely worn things, that can pass for nearly new. Everyone knows this. You don't want a baby's onesie stained in puke etc you want a clean one.

I think this is obvious to those of us who like getting hand-me-downs and who know what to pass along to others.

What is bizarre is the people assuming all hand me downs have already been worn by multiple kids and are ruined. Those clothes should go in recycling bins.

There's what should happen and there is what does happen. I have certainly gotten stained tattered clothes from well meaning people that I found unusable. And I have also saved clothes for my own kids and when it came time to wear them discovered spots and stains that I don't remember being there. Sometimes being in storage bring those things out. I think sometimes people just have different standards of what is acceptable for their kids to wear or they just notice stains that stand out to others. But most used clothes look used especially the older the kid who wear the clothes longer and play harder in them. After my kids were out of baby clothes I had no interest in anyone's hand me downs because they just never looked that great unless it was a party or holiday dress that had only been worn one time. But that faded t-shirt? No thanks.

Yes. Of course. But most people I know who like to give and get hand me downs (me included) are filtering out the clothes that are worn or stained or poor quality. I truly only give what I think looks like new (sometimes it is new) and that is clean and in great condition. Most of the friends I get hand me downs do the exact same. Yes, there have been a couple of cases over the years where someone gave us something really junky and gross and I threw it in the trash and politely declined their offer for clothes going forward.

[Anonymous]

I’ve started selling my good condition hand me downs as a sized lot on Facebook. Usually $50 for a whole season of size X clothes. (Ie: Girls summer lot, size 7/8.) They sell in a hot second and the buyers are SO grateful. I often have someone ask me if I will just sell to them next season without posting on FB. I much prefer this over giving them to my sister who claims to want them but doesn’t ever use them.

[Anonymous]

I love hand me downs for my kids and am always grateful, but I have gotten overwhelmed when I’ve gotten the third or fourth bag of a size that I already have too much of. My house is simply too small to store a lot. Even storing a donation pile can be a challenge.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Responding to those who have called out my lack of response, I simply don't spend much time on this board and haven't felt the need to continue to reply after reading others remarks.

I think it is important to re-emphasize that these were all clean, like-new clothing.

While their family is not struggling, they are not in the same financial situation we are in, which is where I think the rash response came from.

I appreciate those who left thoughtful replys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve started selling my good condition hand me downs as a sized lot on Facebook. Usually $50 for a whole season of size X clothes. (Ie: Girls summer lot, size 7/8.) They sell in a hot second and the buyers are SO grateful. I often have someone ask me if I will just sell to them next season without posting on FB. I much prefer this over giving them to my sister who claims to want them but doesn’t ever use them.

I have considered doing this- I think I will.

[Anonymous]

We are Non White UMC. We typically don’t have more kids than we can afford to raise. My kids don’t wear hand me downs, and we pay 100% for our kids college education.

White people problems are so exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are Non White UMC. We typically don’t have more kids than we can afford to raise. My kids don’t wear hand me downs, and we pay 100% for our kids college education.

White people problems are so exhausting.

This is not a white person issue and your post is racist. We are white, no handy-downs and will pay for college and graduate school along with cyivities and everything spelled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Responding to those who have called out my lack of response, I simply don't spend much time on this board and haven't felt the need to continue to reply after reading others remarks.

I think it is important to re-emphasize that these were all clean, like-new clothing.

While their family is not struggling, they are not in the same financial situation we are in, which is where I think the rash response came from.

I appreciate those who left thoughtful replys.

Ask them before you assume. I buy my kids clothing ahead on clearance, but they are boys and don’t care about brand. It’s rare we need anything and already have too much. You make assumptions about money that are inappropriate. They declined. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are Non White UMC. We typically don’t have more kids than we can afford to raise. My kids don’t wear hand me downs, and we pay 100% for our kids college education.

White people problems are so exhausting.

Reading comprehension problems are exhausting as well. It's NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. It is not cheap, it is not about not affording clothes for your kids. It's about being a part of a community, a web of mothers passing things around. It's FUN. It's HEARTWARMING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Non White UMC. We typically don’t have more kids than we can afford to raise. My kids don’t wear hand me downs, and we pay 100% for our kids college education.

White people problems are so exhausting.

This is not a white person issue and your post is racist. We are white, no handy-downs and will pay for college and graduate school along with cyivities and everything spelled.

What??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Non White UMC. We typically don’t have more kids than we can afford to raise. My kids don’t wear hand me downs, and we pay 100% for our kids college education.

White people problems are so exhausting.

Reading comprehension problems are exhausting as well. It's NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. It is not cheap, it is not about not affording clothes for your kids. It's about being a part of a community, a web of mothers passing things around. It's FUN. It's HEARTWARMING.

I don’t find it fun to get clothing I don’t like, worn out, cannot use and have to get rid of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Responding to those who have called out my lack of response, I simply don't spend much time on this board and haven't felt the need to continue to reply after reading others remarks.

I think it is important to re-emphasize that these were all clean, like-new clothing.

While their family is not struggling, they are not in the same financial situation we are in, which is where I think the rash response came from.

I appreciate those who left thoughtful replys.

In other words you learned nothing - end thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Non White UMC. We typically don’t have more kids than we can afford to raise. My kids don’t wear hand me downs, and we pay 100% for our kids college education.

White people problems are so exhausting.

Reading comprehension problems are exhausting as well. It's NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. It is not cheap, it is not about not affording clothes for your kids. It's about being a part of a community, a web of mothers passing things around. It's FUN. It's HEARTWARMING.

I don’t find it fun to get clothing I don’t like, worn out, cannot use and have to get rid of.

Sounds like you've gotten hand me downs from people who don't actually like you. Maybe the last bag left in the storage closet. It's usually not like that....

[Anonymous]

I posted up thread and mentioned getting so many hand me downs it was a bit overwhelming while I was on bed rest. All of the clothes I got were clean and nothing was stained or tattered. A lot were unused. The only bad stuff was the little formal outfits that we never used. I don't remember a single thing that was dirty.