Explain wealthy men and mail order brides

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not about being submissive or being poor. Submissiveness was never true, and poverty desperation marriages (at least in Russia) happened in the 90s. Due to fewer eligible men than women in E. Europe, many women don't see a significant age difference as repulsive.

Yes they do. They're just willing to put up with it for a few years for freedom/money.

No, they don't. EE has the least men per 100 women. My lovely friend is dating a local man who is about about 18 year older than she is. He is a nice man, but we really need more men there. She is too young to be alone. She would have to leave the country to get a man. We need more men. Not sure what the big deal is that those women left the country because they found men somewhere else.
Slavic women are not submissive. They beat their men and have loud mouths.

[Anonymous]

White American born women are quite racist and hypocritical. When they marry old dudes with money- it’s love. When they slave at home, leave their careers, lose financial independence- they are upholding traditional values and family. But when immigrant or women of other races do the same thing, they are gold diggers, submissive, uneducated, social climbers, etc. Unbelievable. I guess they hate in others the same behaviors that they are capable and guilty of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White American born women are quite racist and hypocritical. When they marry old dudes with money- it’s love. When they slave at home, leave their careers, lose financial independence- they are upholding traditional values and family. But when immigrant or women of other races do the same thing, they are gold diggers, submissive, uneducated, social climbers, etc. Unbelievable. I guess they hate in others the same behaviors that they are capable and guilty of.

Don’t worry we look down on American born gold diggers too. Read the Secretly Gifting Divorce thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m no American patriot but it’s surprising to me to hear people say that Eastern European women and women in other patriarchal cultures are a good standard to hold yourself to. Yay for you if you like looking hot (I definitely do sometimes) but the reason that Russian women are expected to look beautiful is because of sexist attitudes. I think I read that in Russia, most young women believe that attractiveness is the best quality for a woman to have and older women believe that being a good homemaker is the best quality for a woman to have. Domestic violence that doesn’t cause major injury is legal in Russia. Abortion is heavily restricted, they just barely lifted restrictions on women having certain jobs, and Putin makes rape jokes. And then people are saying “hey you frumpy American women, these Russian woman can look hot, so should you.” What???

I’m happy to live in a place where women are, generally speaking, considered their own humans and not just an adornment for men. (And I applaud Russian feminists who are working hard to change things)

You think you read that? What a load of crap! If anything, this country should worry about abortions and job equality way more that Russia does.

Signed,
-A Russian female with a PhD.

It was in the Moscow times.

https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2019/03/07/whos-to-blame-for-gender-stereotypes-in-russia-a64744

Do you know that Russia is the most highly educated country in the world? 63% of young people are college educated. In US, only 37% of the entire population (all ages) is college educated. 54.58 percent of Russian women are employed vs. 46.8 in US - not a Russian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:American women have more opportunities, don't *need* a man.

Women from 3rd world countries have limited options.

I know a few women from former 3rd world countries who married American men

So this boils down to human rights. We should all be working towards giving women options beyond pleasing some man with your body.

sure, but until then, this is what a lot of women from 3rd world countries do.

Not that different to "mail order brides" out west in the US during the western expansion, or what the Brits or Canadians did in their former colonies. Basically, women who had no future or options in their home country became mail ordered brides.

This is what the French did to populate Canada -- Filles du Roi -- where women were sent to Canada in the 17th century where there were a dearth of women.

The former 3rd world country where I knew some women who were mail order brides is no longer a 3rd world country. Women there have a lot more options now. Women are getting married much later and are choosier, and the birth rate has declined. That society doesn't have great maternity leave or equal pay protections, so women are careful about their path. Getting married and having kids locks you in a path more so than in the developed western world.

Today, in the US, it's harder for men to find a women who is willing to put up with his BS. Men, particularly rich men, want women to cater to them. Hence, they look to exploit women who are desparate to escape situations where they have very little means and options. Those womend do this willingly. Let's not make them out to be complete victims. They know what they are doing. They want a cushy life (not blaming them). So, why not? American women here have and do still do the same thing. But, men know that American women are less likely to put up with their BS.

You know you keep posting these sweeping generalizations of women, men and marriage but do not back it up with any facts. I think you are just in the camp that all married women are exploited and are putting up with their DH BS? If you are so unhappy being married divorce.

How do you gather "facts" about how American women tend to not put up with BS from their DHs? How about the fact that the vast majority of divorces here are initiated by women?

Anecdotally, the few divorces I know in my cirlce were in fact initiated by women because..

..the man was a deadbeat, didn't really work
..the man skipped out on his wife and SN child, and cheated
..the man was very direspectful of his wife, including in front of other people

Generalizations are just that, but it doesn't come out of thin air. YMMV

FWIW, I'm happily married to a great guy, married 20 years, but almost every divorce both my DH and I are aware of were initiated by women because the guy was an a$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m no American patriot but it’s surprising to me to hear people say that Eastern European women and women in other patriarchal cultures are a good standard to hold yourself to. Yay for you if you like looking hot (I definitely do sometimes) but the reason that Russian women are expected to look beautiful is because of sexist attitudes. I think I read that in Russia, most young women believe that attractiveness is the best quality for a woman to have and older women believe that being a good homemaker is the best quality for a woman to have. Domestic violence that doesn’t cause major injury is legal in Russia. Abortion is heavily restricted, they just barely lifted restrictions on women having certain jobs, and Putin makes rape jokes. And then people are saying “hey you frumpy American women, these Russian woman can look hot, so should you.” What???

I’m happy to live in a place where women are, generally speaking, considered their own humans and not just an adornment for men. (And I applaud Russian feminists who are working hard to change things)

You think you read that? What a load of crap! If anything, this country should worry about abortions and job equality way more that Russia does.

Signed,
-A Russian female with a PhD.

It was in the Moscow times.

https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2019/03/07/whos-to-blame-for-gender-stereotypes-in-russia-a64744

Do you know that Russia is the most highly educated country in the world? 63% of young people are college educated. In US, only 37% of the entire population (all ages) is college educated. 54.58 percent of Russian women are employed vs. 46.8 in US - not a Russian.

DP.. and therein lies the rub.

These women are educated, smart, but they have limited opportunities in those countries. I don't blame them for marrying rich old guys.

Culturally, though, EE women are still more conservative and hold more traditional values compared to the US. Maybe that's part of their appeal to those men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:American women have more opportunities, don't *need* a man.

Women from 3rd world countries have limited options.

I know a few women from former 3rd world countries who married American men

So this boils down to human rights. We should all be working towards giving women options beyond pleasing some man with your body.

sure, but until then, this is what a lot of women from 3rd world countries do.

Not that different to "mail order brides" out west in the US during the western expansion, or what the Brits or Canadians did in their former colonies. Basically, women who had no future or options in their home country became mail ordered brides.

This is what the French did to populate Canada -- Filles du Roi -- where women were sent to Canada in the 17th century where there were a dearth of women.

The former 3rd world country where I knew some women who were mail order brides is no longer a 3rd world country. Women there have a lot more options now. Women are getting married much later and are choosier, and the birth rate has declined. That society doesn't have great maternity leave or equal pay protections, so women are careful about their path. Getting married and having kids locks you in a path more so than in the developed western world.

Today, in the US, it's harder for men to find a women who is willing to put up with his BS. Men, particularly rich men, want women to cater to them. Hence, they look to exploit women who are desparate to escape situations where they have very little means and options. Those womend do this willingly. Let's not make them out to be complete victims. They know what they are doing. They want a cushy life (not blaming them). So, why not? American women here have and do still do the same thing. But, men know that American women are less likely to put up with their BS.

You know you keep posting these sweeping generalizations of women, men and marriage but do not back it up with any facts. I think you are just in the camp that all married women are exploited and are putting up with their DH BS? If you are so unhappy being married divorce.

How do you gather "facts" about how American women tend to not put up with BS from their DHs? How about the fact that the vast majority of divorces here are initiated by women?

Anecdotally, the few divorces I know in my cirlce were in fact initiated by women because..

..the man was a deadbeat, didn't really work
..the man skipped out on his wife and SN child, and cheated
..the man was very direspectful of his wife, including in front of other people

Generalizations are just that, but it doesn't come out of thin air. YMMV

FWIW, I'm happily married to a great guy, married 20 years, but almost every divorce both my DH and I are aware of were initiated by women because the guy was an a$$.

And yet you post with authority on the subject? Seriously you come off as someone with an axe to grind. A person who is “happily married for 20 years” does not go on and on about how bad all men are specially the rich ones. It comes off as projecting about your marriage and your experience with your husband. Sorry you are so unhappy. Maybe divorce could help but 20 years is a long time and really sets your views on things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a friend's wedding where I met his father and a 3 of his father's friends. All wealthy, all educated (M.D.s and JDs.) and all married to much younger, very attractive second wives from Russia, Belarus, or Ukraine. I can understand going for mail order if you don't have any prospects here and are basically exchanging citizenship for a relationship but why do that if you are educated and wealthy? I though mail order brides were mostly thing of the past.

Men are so stupid for wanting a hot young thing from a poor place who can’t fathom luxury from never having seen it, and who isn’t a complete anxiety prone, controlling social justice warrior who berates them like their previous wives did. It must suck.

really, how can any intelligent woman not understand the reasons for this.

What would they have in common? They wouldn't appreciate the money or the intellect or the hard work. No, I can't understand it. I can't relate to having a hot husband for sex who takes care of my house after a day of work and not much else. Guess it's guy thing. Women connect emotionally. Most of us just don't get it.

Men want a wife who's more like a pet than a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not about being submissive or being poor. Submissiveness was never true, and poverty desperation marriages (at least in Russia) happened in the 90s. Due to fewer eligible men than women in E. Europe, many women don't see a significant age difference as repulsive.

Yes they do. They're just willing to put up with it for a few years for freedom/money.

No, they don't. EE has the least men per 100 women. My lovely friend is dating a local man who is about about 18 year older than she is. He is a nice man, but we really need more men there. She is too young to be alone. She would have to leave the country to get a man. We need more men. Not sure what the big deal is that those women left the country because they found men somewhere else.
Slavic women are not submissive. They beat their men and have loud mouths.

[Anonymous]

I have not read this entire thread but what I’ve seen appears to disregard the fact that in many cultures arranged marriage is the norm. Compared with that model, this one at least allows for some (although different) levels of freedom of choice on the part of marrying couple.

[Anonymous]

I have one anecdote. He’s my dad. He has been a wonderful parent but a controlling husband. After two failed marriages he found a much younger Eastern European woman. And it’s true that she puts up with much more than the previous wives did. And she got her citizenship.

Yes, stereotypes are simplified. But there is basis in fact here.

[Anonymous]

Me rove you rong tine… 🤣

[Anonymous]

Most older controlling men don't want poor or lonely women from the US- they may come with family baggage and may not be educated enough for them if they are poor enough to put up with the controlling behavior.

One of my dhs friends thought all EE women were submissive, and he got a real surprise when he married a woman close to his age (not arranged, love match) and she is not submissive at all, lol.

I'm from a poorer place and know women who have married servicemen and veterans to get Tricare, so know there would be women in the US willing to marry for health insurance, and definitely willing to marry for money. Tricare is even featured as a plus on the dating sites, lol.

But most wealthy men don't want someone with any baggage: children from previous relationships, poor family members showing up to ask for money, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m no American patriot but it’s surprising to me to hear people say that Eastern European women and women in other patriarchal cultures are a good standard to hold yourself to. Yay for you if you like looking hot (I definitely do sometimes) but the reason that Russian women are expected to look beautiful is because of sexist attitudes. I think I read that in Russia, most young women believe that attractiveness is the best quality for a woman to have and older women believe that being a good homemaker is the best quality for a woman to have. Domestic violence that doesn’t cause major injury is legal in Russia. Abortion is heavily restricted, they just barely lifted restrictions on women having certain jobs, and Putin makes rape jokes. And then people are saying “hey you frumpy American women, these Russian woman can look hot, so should you.” What???

I’m happy to live in a place where women are, generally speaking, considered their own humans and not just an adornment for men. (And I applaud Russian feminists who are working hard to change things)

You think you read that? What a load of crap! If anything, this country should worry about abortions and job equality way more that Russia does.

Signed,
-A Russian female with a PhD.

It was in the Moscow times.

https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2019/03/07/whos-to-blame-for-gender-stereotypes-in-russia-a64744

You are misinformed. While there are gender gaps in many areas of life, abortion and workforce participation are not among the top isssues. Abortion has been legal and unrestricted in Russia since 1920. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_in_Russia Russian women are more conservative (believe it or not, I know it goes against the stereotype) in their attitudes towards women having casual sex. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_Russia

I am not surprised about all the stereotypes given the way Russians are portrayed in the media, but you have to take with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

I pity the fool who thinks Russian women are submissive. They’ll eat your lunch.