Women do you want to be approached?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

NP. Nothing wrong with saying good morning. In my experience, the problem is that when I reply with a neutral "good morning" and quickly go back to what I was doing, a majority of men are not going to read the "not interested" signal. So there are a series of questions to which I respond minimally, and when I finally feel like I need to say "hey, I don't want to be rude, but I"m trying to focus on x/y/z," then there is the "WOW, I WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY" followed by the flounce. That is not a pleasant interaction and it's not one I asked for so why should I have to deal with it. I have literally never put another person in the position of having to shut me down in public, so I know it's not that hard to read the signs and follow them.

Exactly.

Not a big deal. Just say I’m busy. This shouldn’t be emotionally traumatizing for you. Wow

It's not emotionally traumatizing for me. I'm pretty chill about it. It's the guy that flips his sh!t, at least more often than it should happen.

Why is someone indicating they don't want to talk with you a reason for a venomous tone and a throbbing temporal artery? I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

Try again. I’m an attractive women with the social skills to know saying “you’re hot and I had to risk it all” is 9000 level cheesy.

I’ve met plenty of men in real life. It’s usually somewhere we see each other regularly, would naturally strike up a conversation, and shows we have common interests. But telling a woman she’s hot/cute/whatever in public is so tacky and creepy.

Tacky and creepy to you. Thankfully you don’t speak for all women Ms. “I’m an attractive woman” who meets plenty of men in real life 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

...I’m a DP who is happily married and routinely approached. It’s extremely cringe.

Great, so you prefer online dating to meeting people in person

Reading comprehension also not taught on PUA boards I see

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

...I’m a DP who is happily married and routinely approached. It’s extremely cringe.

Great, so you prefer online dating to meeting people in person

Reading comprehension also not taught on PUA boards I see

What exactly is a PUA board? Google says it’s related to pandemic unemployment assistance. If you’re going to attempt to insult people over the internet that you disagree with at least stop with the obscure internet acronyms because not everyone is well versed in meme culture or whatever it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

Sorry dude, but if a guy asks to sit next to me at a coffee shop and then repeatedly tried to talk to me, it’s harassment.

It’s one thing if the entire shop is full and he’s just going to work in silence. But if there are open seats, or if he expects a conversation, not cool. I don’t owe men a convo.

That’s not harassment. At all. And you can choose to leave.

Are you serious?? Yes, sitting down next to a woman who does not want to speak to you, repeatedly trying to talk to her, and then expecting HER to leave if she doesn’t like it is textbook harassment. If you did that in a coffee shop and she complained, you’d get kicked out.

Another PP made up the bit about approaching and not leaving alone, no one said that is what they would do. It was said a man asks if the seat next to you is taken, you say yes or no or you’re busy, he moves on. THAT is not harassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

...I’m a DP who is happily married and routinely approached. It’s extremely cringe.

Great, so you prefer online dating to meeting people in person

Reading comprehension also not taught on PUA boards I see

What exactly is a PUA board? Google says it’s related to pandemic unemployment assistance. If you’re going to attempt to insult people over the internet that you disagree with at least stop with the obscure internet acronyms because not everyone is well versed in meme culture or whatever it is.

Defined earlier in the thread “pick up artist”. A lot of overlap with incel and MRA groups. The latter two known for violence against women...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

...I’m a DP who is happily married and routinely approached. It’s extremely cringe.

Great, so you prefer online dating to meeting people in person

Reading comprehension also not taught on PUA boards I see

What exactly is a PUA board? Google says it’s related to pandemic unemployment assistance. If you’re going to attempt to insult people over the internet that you disagree with at least stop with the obscure internet acronyms because not everyone is well versed in meme culture or whatever it is.

Defined earlier in the thread “pick up artist”. A lot of overlap with incel and MRA groups. The latter two known for violence against women...

You sound like an incel version of a woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do. I like friendly personable interactions. I like eye contact and smiles. I dislike dating apps very much however. I’m shy but also a people person.

This is a reasonable and unpretentious response. Perhaps OP can pay closer attention to each woman as a unique person? Some will respond positively to being approached, some will be offended. Sharpen your observation skills, approachers (men, women, everyone). I’m a woman who has politely approached men, in my younger years. It was fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Completely fine but don’t come on too strong and take a hint. Never ask twice for a number or date. If she says no the first time leave her alone.

I think the best way to approach is with casual conversation about your surroundings, not a comment on her physical appearance.

Then you all have to be willing to offer method of communication the first time we ask. I'm not saying tactless men that ask for your # 5 minutes in the convo should receive it, but if you find him decent, conversation flows, attractive enough, don't play so hard to get that he then readjust his technique next time to not waste so much time when first approaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man this thread is quite entertaining given how women complain how difficult it is to meet men exclusive of the apps. Yes, many situations are wrong and many men are creeps but the thread is basically stay away from me.

I’ve never complained that it’s difficult to meet men. None of my female friends have, either.

You can stop with the #notallmen BS. When you’ve had several encounters with creeps who couldn’t take no for an answer, followed you, touched you, etc, yea, you don’t want to be approached by men. You can’t tell the creeps from the non-creeps just by looking. Although I’ll say pretty much any guy who goes around asking out women in public he thinks are hot is a creep. Sort of like, if I chatted up every dude I saw loading his groceries into a Lambo, pretty obvious I’m a gold digger.

How about you say hi randomly to a man you find attractive. The good ones will know that isntheir cue to take the lead.

[Anonymous]

How about you say hi randomly to a man you find attractive. The good ones will know that isntheir cue to take the lead.

This.

Ladies - Don't you usually smile, etc. at someone to indicate you are interested? As a man, I would not talk to a woman I did not know in public unless she smiled, met my eyes for more than a moment, etc. first.

Even then, it is best to err on the side of caution. If I come up and say "hi" and she is interested, she usually makes it quite clear. If there is any doubt, I leave her alone right after saying hi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So..browsing for books = ok to approach. Browsing for groceries = not ok to approach. How about Home Depot? Pet stores? Post office? Bank?

Grocery-"I shop here all the time. Are you looking for something? If you like sushi/salad/etc. I know a healthy place nearby I think you'd like. I can text you the name and leave you be or if you're interested, I'm available to treat you there".
Home depot-"I installed that too. I can text a good carpenter's info too if you are interested."
Pet-Do not EVER have your dog jump a woman or get in her personal space. Try the bark meetup in the post about not dating for 2 years.
Post Office-"I got some beautiful stamps. You are such a stylish dresser, I imagine you are into right-brain talents..."
Bank-"Have you been getting good rates and service at this branch? ...Thx! Wish I could give you a lollipop as a thank you. I'll leave you alone if you want, but if you have some time later I'd love to pick your brain some more. You are so eloquent and informative!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

A drop dead gorgeous man pulled into a parking lot and I am so used to people asking me for directions, I pulled out my gps app on my phone and said "Are you lost? Do you need some directions?" He replied "Yeah, to wherever you are going..." "Oh I'm just going for a walk" and I walked off. Then about 10 minutes after leaving him to drive off I realized what I missed out on. Blonde muscular Mike in the black jeep in Pimmit, you are HAWT and I could have definitely hooked you up with my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So..browsing for books = ok to approach. Browsing for groceries = not ok to approach. How about Home Depot? Pet stores? Post office? Bank?

Grocery-"I shop here all the time. Are you looking for something? If you like sushi/salad/etc. I know a healthy place nearby I think you'd like. I can text you the name and leave you be or if you're interested, I'm available to treat you there".
Home depot-"I installed that too. I can text a good carpenter's info too if you are interested."
Pet-Do not EVER have your dog jump a woman or get in her personal space. Try the bark meetup in the post about not dating for 2 years.
Post Office-"I got some beautiful stamps. You are such a stylish dresser, I imagine you are into right-brain talents..."
Bank-"Have you been getting good rates and service at this branch? ...Thx! Wish I could give you a lollipop as a thank you. I'll leave you alone if you want, but if you have some time later I'd love to pick your brain some more. You are so eloquent and informative!"

I am imagining Igor from Young Frankenstein sidling up to a woman and delivering these lines with those googly eyes...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So..browsing for books = ok to approach. Browsing for groceries = not ok to approach. How about Home Depot? Pet stores? Post office? Bank?

Grocery-"I shop here all the time. Are you looking for something? If you like sushi/salad/etc. I know a healthy place nearby I think you'd like. I can text you the name and leave you be or if you're interested, I'm available to treat you there".
Home depot-"I installed that too. I can text a good carpenter's info too if you are interested."
Pet-Do not EVER have your dog jump a woman or get in her personal space. Try the bark meetup in the post about not dating for 2 years.
Post Office-"I got some beautiful stamps. You are such a stylish dresser, I imagine you are into right-brain talents..."
Bank-"Have you been getting good rates and service at this branch? ...Thx! Wish I could give you a lollipop as a thank you. I'll leave you alone if you want, but if you have some time later I'd love to pick your brain some more. You are so eloquent and informative!"

These are lame af