Women do you want to be approached?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

Sorry dude, but if a guy asks to sit next to me at a coffee shop and then repeatedly tried to talk to me, it’s harassment.

It’s one thing if the entire shop is full and he’s just going to work in silence. But if there are open seats, or if he expects a conversation, not cool. I don’t owe men a convo.

So say no. He moves on. Harassment is repeated unwanted contact after you express not being interested.

Here’s the thing— I consider sitting in a coffee shop reading/looking at my phone already indicating I am not interested.

Ok well you aren’t everyone. It isn’t illegal to talk to people, people should talk to each other more. If you don’t want to, you can say that too. The default doesn’t have to be ignore everyone and only communicate via computer

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

Sorry dude, but if a guy asks to sit next to me at a coffee shop and then repeatedly tried to talk to me, it’s harassment.

It’s one thing if the entire shop is full and he’s just going to work in silence. But if there are open seats, or if he expects a conversation, not cool. I don’t owe men a convo.

That’s not harassment. At all. And you can choose to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

...I’m a DP who is happily married and routinely approached. It’s extremely cringe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

...I’m a DP who is happily married and routinely approached. It’s extremely cringe.

Great, so you prefer online dating to meeting people in person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

I respect that you had the balls to even approach. Many guys nowadays are too scared.

Guy here and approach sometimes and I've had women thank me for doing so

[Anonymous]

I’m married in my early 40s, but if I’m approached by a hot younger guy, I’ll store the thought in my mind, close my eyes during sex with DH and let my mind go elsewhere, to the guy who approached me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married in my early 40s, but if I’m approached by a hot younger guy, I’ll store the thought in my mind, close my eyes during sex with DH and let my mind go elsewhere, to the guy who approached me.

Now that’s creepy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, from this thread, we learn that women are all over the map on what they do and don't want in this regard. Generally speaking: don't be a dick, don't make things awkward, don't get mad if she expresses disinterest, and don't hit on everything that moves. Otherwise, if you're interested, take your chance, be alert for social cues, and know that you're going to take your lumps if the woman happens to be one who is very disinterested in ever being approached. And everyone: let's be careful out there!

Bad advice. It is smart to stick to an app. If the woman is on an app she is looking and will response back when or if she is in the mood/interested. If you are a guy worried about coming off creepy do not start anything in person even in an obvious pickup place. That is what apps are for. What one woman finds intriguing another will find creepy. It will largely depend on how attractive you are to her. Brady Pitt and Steve Buscemi can say and act the same but will get vastly different results. It is life.

Also remember most people are glued to their phones and do not want to interact IRL. If you approach someone who is really into to their phone in person they can get upset or uncomfortable.

Don’t listen to the PP. it is fine to approach a woman and talk. If you are respectful and polite, the worst that can happen is she blows you off or isn’t interested. Oh well. No one is calling the police on you because you said hello out loud to them.

The only thing one can get from this thread is if men approach women a good percentage of the women will feel harassed or annoyed. So you are encouraging men to harass women?

But let’s face it there will be men who do not care or refuse to believe they can harass any of women…like the one posting above.

It isn't harassing to start a conversation with someone. Just stop. If you feel harassed because a man say good morning to you or asks if the seat next to you at a coffee shop is free, you have issues.

Sorry dude, but if a guy asks to sit next to me at a coffee shop and then repeatedly tried to talk to me, it’s harassment.

It’s one thing if the entire shop is full and he’s just going to work in silence. But if there are open seats, or if he expects a conversation, not cool. I don’t owe men a convo.

That’s not harassment. At all. And you can choose to leave.

Are you serious?? Yes, sitting down next to a woman who does not want to speak to you, repeatedly trying to talk to her, and then expecting HER to leave if she doesn’t like it is textbook harassment. If you did that in a coffee shop and she complained, you’d get kicked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

Try again. I’m an attractive women with the social skills to know saying “you’re hot and I had to risk it all” is 9000 level cheesy.

I’ve met plenty of men in real life. It’s usually somewhere we see each other regularly, would naturally strike up a conversation, and shows we have common interests. But telling a woman she’s hot/cute/whatever in public is so tacky and creepy.

[Anonymous]

At the right place and at the right time it’s fun to be approached. I’m 39 and the happily married mom of four kids so it’s nice that someone is interested in me beyond my mommy/wife role! But once I mention my husband and kids which happens very quickly the guys quickly disappear. Thankfully, I don’t seem to attract creeps or they disappear so fast who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single guy here and I’ll see women I’d be interested in when I’m out and about. I’m in my early 30s I think with the emergence of social media and dating apps people aren’t used to it anymore. Also I feel like women want to be left alone when they are in public.

You should read the book "Why Men Behave Badly." Not for the part about inappropriate sexual conduct, but the reasons for how men and women have sexual conflict (due to mismatched timelines for sex). It's really fascinating. (Despite the title, it doesn't bash men in general. It does explain why some men harass and assault women.)


https://www.amazon.com/When-Men-Behave-Badly-Harassment/dp/0316419354

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you're basing everything on solely on looks?

Cool. Good luck.

Man here, this is fascinating.

All men make the approach based initially on looks. They stay around based on more, but it's looks first. Is this a surprise to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you're basing everything on solely on looks?

Cool. Good luck.

Man here, this is fascinating.

All men make the approach based initially on looks. They stay around based on more, but it's looks first. Is this a surprise to women?

Exactly that person is obviously bitter and a moron. Of course the first thing that makes you approach is looks, what does that poster expect? For you to know their whole life story then approach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prior to my long term relationship that I’m in now, I have always done very well approaching women and I’ve been pretty direct about it, could care less what the women in this thread say because it has worked for me amazingly and have been fortunate to have great memories with women over the years (not just sex, I genuinely enjoyed dating and “the hunt” when I was single, as well as getting to know people / learning about them, sex too though let’s be real)

“Girl with the blonde hair, I was actually just on my way to the grocery story, but I saw you and I thought you were adorable with your (something she’s wearing) and I had to come risk it all” or something along those lines say it in a confident but kind of joking or funny way like you aren’t taking the situation too seriously or that you know there is some comedy inherently involved in Hitting on a random girl in the street. Then quickly change subject to asking her name and introducing yourself, then transition to normal conversation about your day, what she’s up to, the city, whatever just normal conversation. If she thinks you’re hot and you have a good vibe she will stay and chat and you can ask for her number. If she doesn’t you should be able to take the hint and leave her alone. Every time I would move to a new city, it took me all of a day to start going on dates with pretty girls by doing this.

Oh god, that’s so cringe. Are you, what, pulling over in your car to say that to women walking down the street?

It's cringe to you because you probably know that you can't get away with it either because you give off bad vibes via lack of confidence, crappy body language, bad tone of voice, ugly (sorry but its a factor) or something else that makes you come off weird. Luckily for you, these are things that can be worked on. I just told you that it has worked great for me over the years, but I'm sure you'll post some clap back indicating that it must not be true "just because"

And of course I've never pulled over in a car to say that to a woman walking down the street, that's Asperger's level social IQ. Back when I was single I lived in a neighborhood (between logan circle and shaw) where I would come across good looking girls going about my daily business, and well, if you see something say something. I actually met my fiance at Whole Foods on P st. off of a random approach and we still joke about it

At the end of the day, it really depends on two main factors: 1) the woman. some women want to be approached in public and dont want their entire dating pool to be from Bumble. Some women in this category are ok with bars only and draw the line at just generally going about their business, but some are ok anywhere. My view is you don't know unless you try, just be respectful and good at reading her and if she doesnt want to talk to you respect that and leave 2) the approach and the overall vibe. If you approach all weird, say weird stuff, seem low confidence, have a bad / creepish vibe, or generally are bad looking which adds to a bad vibe, its not going to work out good for you and you can either work on fixing those things or stick with Bumble.

I agree with ya. It’s hard to get anything of substance going on bumble with fake pics, old pics or whatever