Women do you want to be approached?

[Anonymous]

Single guy here and I’ll see women I’d be interested in when I’m out and about. I’m in my early 30s I think with the emergence of social media and dating apps people aren’t used to it anymore. Also I feel like women want to be left alone when they are in public.

[Anonymous]

Are you smoking hot? Yes, women want you to approach.
No? Then stay away, creep!

[Anonymous]

It so depends on the situation and the way you do it. If your at a bar or social event and you just come up to chat and the conversation flows well it can work out. Sneaking up behind me at a grocery store to tell me how “strikingly beautiful” I am? Not interested.

[Anonymous]

I don’t exactly want to be approached, but I also don’t mind it if the guy is nice.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. At a social event? Sure. While I'm clearly engrossed in a book or work? Probably not.

And I agree, the manner matters. Striking up a conversation is usually fine, although take the hint if I'm not clearly demonstrating interest (just like you would in any other conversation). Following me is not okay. Coming on really strong or pressuring or making sexual comments or getting really personal is not okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you smoking hot? Yes, women want you to approach.
No? Then stay away, creep!

I disagree. Hot guys can get away with more but anyone who lays it on too thick or throws around too many compliments comes off as disingenuous and creepy. A decent but regular looking guy who has a friendly and easygoing vibe and is willing to take a hint if I’m not interested is perfectly fine and I’m usually flattered.

[Anonymous]

I've never minded. Just be ready to back off quickly if the woman clearly doesn't want your attention.

[Anonymous]

Completely fine but don’t come on too strong and take a hint. Never ask twice for a number or date. If she says no the first time leave her alone.

I think the best way to approach is with casual conversation about your surroundings, not a comment on her physical appearance.

[Anonymous]

Meh. I don't typically like to be approached by strangers when I'm just going about daily life (and I definitely never appreciate comments on my appearance at any time, even if they are what the guy considers "a compliment"). I also don't like super personal questions from a total stranger ("where do you life?" or "where do you work?"--not appropriate!)

As the PP said--at a bar or social event, I'm much more likely to be receptive as I expect to interact with new people there. And often, if you're both invited to the same place, there is some mutual friend or acquaintance.

That doesn't mean there aren't appropriate, friendly, polite ways to interact with strangers in public but I'm immediately on-guard if it's clear the guys agenda is super obvious.

[Anonymous]

I’m fine with someone striking up a conversation in an appropriate setting. But if I’m clearly busy, or you’re just giving me a compliment or asking for my number, it’s obnoxious.

Example: having a conversation while we’re at the dog park is fine. Chasing me down while I’m out walking my dog is not.

Basically, I want to know you’re interested because of who I am, not what I look like.

[Anonymous]

Work? No, absolutely not!

Grocery store? Say hi make light conversation sure. Ask for number on a date.., no.

Bar? Sure but I might blow you off don’t take it personally I’m probably there for agreeing who just caught her h cheating or who just caught her teen smoking pot. My point being when women blow you off it has less to do with you than other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m fine with someone striking up a conversation in an appropriate setting. But if I’m clearly busy, or you’re just giving me a compliment or asking for my number, it’s obnoxious.

Example: having a conversation while we’re at the dog park is fine. Chasing me down while I’m out walking my dog is not.

Basically, I want to know you’re interested because of who I am, not what I look like.

+1

If someone is just hitting on me right from the start, I make two assumptions. 1) He is only hitting on me because of something superficial 2) He probably hits on everyone who he thinks is decent looking which is a pretty big turn off for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single guy here and I’ll see women I’d be interested in when I’m out and about. I’m in my early 30s I think with the emergence of social media and dating apps people aren’t used to it anymore. Also I feel like women want to be left alone when they are in public.

Pretty much. We’ve all been approach regularly by total creeps out in public since the day we hit puberty.

Now I’m old enough I rarely get approach. It’s fantastic. I can live my life without worrying I’ll reject the wrong guy and get stalked or assaulted.

[Anonymous]

So you're basing everything on solely on looks?

Cool. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I once dated long term someone who started up a conversation while we were picking up our takeout orders from a restaurant. He asked how the food was, he was new to town, and we had a really pleasant conversation. Once he had his order he politely asked if I’d like to get a drink sometime, got my number, and left. Obviously, I found this fine.

I’ve also had instances of guys sliding up to tell me I’m the most beautiful woman they’ve ever seen (come on…) and others beg for my number (yuck)