Is this appropriate for the community pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not ok for community pool. Ok for beach.

This literally makes no sense. Kids and husbands and other women are at the beach too. Why is ok there if it’s offensive at a pool?

Because people feel at the beach they will never hear about it. Whereas at community pool, she fears people she knows will be talking behind her back and others in the community may think differently of her.

I have a butt, tummy, big boobs, nice job, good life, we have wild kinky sex and I am not putting my life full display for others but not hiding it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal with all your pools?? I am fit, wear bikinis, not thongs, not string bikinis, but normal ones, and nobody has ever made me feel like I’m walking about being judged and gossiped about at my pool. No idea if “the other dads” stare, doubt they do, but am I trying to seduce them or attract them? Uh, no. Most of your husbands are pale and flabby with Marvel trunks and ugly flip flops on. I am not interested. I hate this forum so much lately. It’s just constantly shaming other women for choices they make- Botox, bathing suits, jeans, makeup. Depressing to see how little all of you think of other women. And most of it is in your head.

And you're the one dissing the men around here. Yet you feel so above it all? Gross.

As a woman it is my job to always diss men. I don’t take hits at other women though.

OK, Guy Bitter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal with all your pools?? I am fit, wear bikinis, not thongs, not string bikinis, but normal ones, and nobody has ever made me feel like I’m walking about being judged and gossiped about at my pool. No idea if “the other dads” stare, doubt they do, but am I trying to seduce them or attract them? Uh, no. Most of your husbands are pale and flabby with Marvel trunks and ugly flip flops on. I am not interested. I hate this forum so much lately. It’s just constantly shaming other women for choices they make- Botox, bathing suits, jeans, makeup. Depressing to see how little all of you think of other women. And most of it is in your head.

Agree. How are adult women still hung up on bathing suits being operationally equivalent to underwear. True enough, but we do this so that we can swim, and we treat everyone else who's forced to do this with the benign neglect we expect to receive. All the more so at the community pool where it's only about the kids. To flip this social contract and shame everyone into wearing a wall of fabric is retrograde. I didn't like you gals when you wore pants under your skirts to use the playground equipment, and I can't believe after all these years you haven't progressed beyond your I see London phase. (If all you see is a covering, I've done my job.)

This forum has been awful lately. There an entire chorus that needs each topic answered as if they've dropped in from outerspace...

Wait -- are you saying you didn't like other children because they wore tumbling shorts under their skirts? Really? I don't ever remember wearing a skirt to the playground as a kid -- girls just didn't really do that in the 70s, skirts were for church and grandma's sunday dinner...but I cannot imagine liking or disliking another child based on whether they wore shorts under their skirts. And you're complaining about women being judgmental?

I think the point is, how many layers of fabric do you need between your vagina and the outside world to be considered appropriate? When you wear a skirt, the underwear covers your vagina. Now you’re telling me you need to cover the underwear, so no one can see that as well? Really, why? Because it’s touching your genitals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not ok for community pool. Ok for beach.

This literally makes no sense. Kids and husbands and other women are at the beach too. Why is ok there if it’s offensive at a pool?

Because people feel at the beach they will never hear about it. Whereas at community pool, she fears people she knows will be talking behind her back and others in the community may think differently of her.

So let me get this straight, you are supposed to cover up in front of people you know, but let it all hang out at the beach with strangers. What? I do the exact same things with my family at both a beach and community pool. Why would I dress differently? Do childrens' and dads' eyes work differently at the beach vs. the pool? This whole discussion makes me want to bust out some sort of butt-floss brazilian number just to poke the bathing suit police in the eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not ok for community pool. Ok for beach.

This literally makes no sense. Kids and husbands and other women are at the beach too. Why is ok there if it’s offensive at a pool?

Because people feel at the beach they will never hear about it. Whereas at community pool, she fears people she knows will be talking behind her back and others in the community may think differently of her.

So let me get this straight, you are supposed to cover up in front of people you know, but let it all hang out at the beach with strangers. What? I do the exact same things with my family at both a beach and community pool. Why would I dress differently? Do childrens' and dads' eyes work differently at the beach vs. the pool? This whole discussion makes me want to bust out some sort of butt-floss brazilian number just to poke the bathing suit police in the eye.

PP here I was answering the question as to “why“. I think it is stupid, I am not going to change the way I dress for one group or the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal with all your pools?? I am fit, wear bikinis, not thongs, not string bikinis, but normal ones, and nobody has ever made me feel like I’m walking about being judged and gossiped about at my pool. No idea if “the other dads” stare, doubt they do, but am I trying to seduce them or attract them? Uh, no. Most of your husbands are pale and flabby with Marvel trunks and ugly flip flops on. I am not interested. I hate this forum so much lately. It’s just constantly shaming other women for choices they make- Botox, bathing suits, jeans, makeup. Depressing to see how little all of you think of other women. And most of it is in your head.

And you're the one dissing the men around here. Yet you feel so above it all? Gross.

As a woman it is my job to always diss men. I don’t take hits at other women though.

OK, Guy Bitter

DCUM: eewww your bikini - why do you want my husband staring at you?
Us: we don’t, he’s ugly anyway
DCUM: wow man hater

Lol like which is it, you want me to want your husband or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of the anti-suit arguments are reminiscent of Wahhabis and the Taliban. Maybe she just likes the suit. It is not remotely revealing. I don’t care if OP is a 0 or 10. Lots of policing from insecure women who clearly are afraid their husbands will give OP a second glance. Maybe these women gave up a long time ago and/or are projecting their insecurity into OP (99.998% of women have cellulite; many men do too.) OP, the people on this thread are delusional. Signed, a suburban married mom in NoVa.

It is neither progressive or particularly pro female to suggest anti suit arguments are reflective of "taliban" like thinking, or originate from "insecure" women who "gave up a long time ago" This is your view of women? Because it sounds pretty biased and I don't think you grasped the nuanced perspective of what people said and I think you are unaware of how antiquated you sound. You can't find a way to support her without sh$ttting on women who disagree with you? We're all hags? You returned to some of the ugliest, sextet tropes about women. Right...we are all envious old b#tches and afraid our husbands will be blinded by her hot body. I hate when this viewpoint comes up here and it does frequently. You have no data for this claim. She asked if it was appropriate and some felt it was not. That's it. That is not delusion, it's just a different opinion.

This X 1 million. I could care less if my husband looks at you. My only thought was that this style is impractical because wit will cause wedgies and lead us pulling and tugging . Really just another in a long line of bad trends from the fashion industry

+1 for both of you immediately above. You said it much better than I ever could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think it's inappropriate for a family pool. Like a PP said, just kids, dads and moms there. And in none of those cases is it appropriate for you to walk around in front of them with your butt hanging out of your suit.

+1 A family pool? Nope. It would cause a problem at our country club pool. I don't think the board would do anything but I do think there would be some social ostracization occurring because OP was wearing it at a family pool.

Family pool? Only if you don't care that some will be talking about you. Resort? Sure. Vacation, yes. Right or wrong, most moms want to look like moms at community pools, not like the "hot mom" that everyone talks about. And if you want to be the hot mom then you better be hot.

God, the internalized misogyny is so depressing.

NP. I don’t have a problem with it but the feminist in me is wondering why women’s bathing suits expose so much, compared to men’s? It just seems expected that we show most of our butts and boobs (and have perfectly flat abs if we’re going to expose them) but men are swimming in shorts literally down to their knees (many with guts). With the exception of rash guards, women’s suits are getting smaller and men’s suits are getting longer. It’s strange, isn’t it?

x1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal with all your pools?? I am fit, wear bikinis, not thongs, not string bikinis, but normal ones, and nobody has ever made me feel like I’m walking about being judged and gossiped about at my pool. No idea if “the other dads” stare, doubt they do, but am I trying to seduce them or attract them? Uh, no. Most of your husbands are pale and flabby with Marvel trunks and ugly flip flops on. I am not interested. I hate this forum so much lately. It’s just constantly shaming other women for choices they make- Botox, bathing suits, jeans, makeup. Depressing to see how little all of you think of other women. And most of it is in your head.

Agree. How are adult women still hung up on bathing suits being operationally equivalent to underwear. True enough, but we do this so that we can swim, and we treat everyone else who's forced to do this with the benign neglect we expect to receive. All the more so at the community pool where it's only about the kids. To flip this social contract and shame everyone into wearing a wall of fabric is retrograde. I didn't like you gals when you wore pants under your skirts to use the playground equipment, and I can't believe after all these years you haven't progressed beyond your I see London phase. (If all you see is a covering, I've done my job.)

This forum has been awful lately. There an entire chorus that needs each topic answered as if they've dropped in from outerspace...

Wait -- are you saying you didn't like other children because they wore tumbling shorts under their skirts? Really? I don't ever remember wearing a skirt to the playground as a kid -- girls just didn't really do that in the 70s, skirts were for church and grandma's sunday dinner...but I cannot imagine liking or disliking another child based on whether they wore shorts under their skirts. And you're complaining about women being judgmental?

I think the point is, how many layers of fabric do you need between your vagina and the outside world to be considered appropriate? When you wear a skirt, the underwear covers your vagina. Now you’re telling me you need to cover the underwear, so no one can see that as well? Really, why? Because it’s touching your genitals?

I don’t care how many layers of fabric you have between your vagina and the outside world (although at least one is appreciated), but I strongly object to the idea that girls or women are going to judge other girls and women who choose to have more than one layer or choose to wear something a little less revealing. Boys are allowed to wear shorts on the playground equipment—why can’t girls? And if they want to put a skirt on over it so they have a little flounce, what is that something you have a problem with?
I wear swim shorts usually to the pool so I don’t have to shave my crotch or upper thighs so often. Men never shave their crotch—I’m not sure why we do. I’m happy with my choice but it sounds like you wouldn’t like me because of it. That seems like a weird decision, especially for someone who is complaining about women judging other women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think it's inappropriate for a family pool. Like a PP said, just kids, dads and moms there. And in none of those cases is it appropriate for you to walk around in front of them with your butt hanging out of your suit.

+1 A family pool? Nope. It would cause a problem at our country club pool. I don't think the board would do anything but I do think there would be some social ostracization occurring because OP was wearing it at a family pool.

Family pool? Only if you don't care that some will be talking about you. Resort? Sure. Vacation, yes. Right or wrong, most moms want to look like moms at community pools, not like the "hot mom" that everyone talks about. And if you want to be the hot mom then you better be hot.

God, the internalized misogyny is so depressing.

NP. I don’t have a problem with it but the feminist in me is wondering why women’s bathing suits expose so much, compared to men’s? It just seems expected that we show most of our butts and boobs (and have perfectly flat abs if we’re going to expose them) but men are swimming in shorts literally down to their knees (many with guts). With the exception of rash guards, women’s suits are getting smaller and men’s suits are getting longer. It’s strange, isn’t it?

x1000

Does anyone really want to see men’s junk on display?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think it's inappropriate for a family pool. Like a PP said, just kids, dads and moms there. And in none of those cases is it appropriate for you to walk around in front of them with your butt hanging out of your suit.

+1 A family pool? Nope. It would cause a problem at our country club pool. I don't think the board would do anything but I do think there would be some social ostracization occurring because OP was wearing it at a family pool.

Family pool? Only if you don't care that some will be talking about you. Resort? Sure. Vacation, yes. Right or wrong, most moms want to look like moms at community pools, not like the "hot mom" that everyone talks about. And if you want to be the hot mom then you better be hot.

God, the internalized misogyny is so depressing.

NP. I don’t have a problem with it but the feminist in me is wondering why women’s bathing suits expose so much, compared to men’s? It just seems expected that we show most of our butts and boobs (and have perfectly flat abs if we’re going to expose them) but men are swimming in shorts literally down to their knees (many with guts). With the exception of rash guards, women’s suits are getting smaller and men’s suits are getting longer. It’s strange, isn’t it?

x1000

Does anyone really want to see men’s junk on display?

Right! And do the men in Speedos at the community pool get accused of being slutty and receive side eyes from other dads?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the deal with all your pools?? I am fit, wear bikinis, not thongs, not string bikinis, but normal ones, and nobody has ever made me feel like I’m walking about being judged and gossiped about at my pool. No idea if “the other dads” stare, doubt they do, but am I trying to seduce them or attract them? Uh, no. Most of your husbands are pale and flabby with Marvel trunks and ugly flip flops on. I am not interested. I hate this forum so much lately. It’s just constantly shaming other women for choices they make- Botox, bathing suits, jeans, makeup. Depressing to see how little all of you think of other women. And most of it is in your head.

Agree. How are adult women still hung up on bathing suits being operationally equivalent to underwear. True enough, but we do this so that we can swim, and we treat everyone else who's forced to do this with the benign neglect we expect to receive. All the more so at the community pool where it's only about the kids. To flip this social contract and shame everyone into wearing a wall of fabric is retrograde. I didn't like you gals when you wore pants under your skirts to use the playground equipment, and I can't believe after all these years you haven't progressed beyond your I see London phase. (If all you see is a covering, I've done my job.)

This forum has been awful lately. There an entire chorus that needs each topic answered as if they've dropped in from outerspace...

Wait -- are you saying you didn't like other children because they wore tumbling shorts under their skirts? Really? I don't ever remember wearing a skirt to the playground as a kid -- girls just didn't really do that in the 70s, skirts were for church and grandma's sunday dinner...but I cannot imagine liking or disliking another child based on whether they wore shorts under their skirts. And you're complaining about women being judgmental?

I think the point is, how many layers of fabric do you need between your vagina and the outside world to be considered appropriate? When you wear a skirt, the underwear covers your vagina. Now you’re telling me you need to cover the underwear, so no one can see that as well? Really, why? Because it’s touching your genitals?

I don’t care how many layers of fabric you have between your vagina and the outside world (although at least one is appreciated), but I strongly object to the idea that girls or women are going to judge other girls and women who choose to have more than one layer or choose to wear something a little less revealing. Boys are allowed to wear shorts on the playground equipment—why can’t girls? And if they want to put a skirt on over it so they have a little flounce, what is that something you have a problem with?
I wear swim shorts usually to the pool so I don’t have to shave my crotch or upper thighs so often. Men never shave their crotch—I’m not sure why we do. I’m happy with my choice but it sounds like you wouldn’t like me because of it. That seems like a weird decision, especially for someone who is complaining about women judging other women.

I'm the PP who mentioned "I see London" and you are really reaching if you think I judge women who cover up, that is not what I said. What I found annoying in preschool, was there was a certain sort who went out of their way to point out any sliver of underwear, you know the rhyme. And this thread is the grown up equivalent. OP owns the swimsuit, she must like it, why can't she wear it around children? How is that an affront to women who like wearing shorts and rash guards? It isn't. You're imagining this judgement. Personally I love the cheeky suits, they're flattering and it don't require shaving, the way hi-cuts or other front configurations may. I look terrible in lycra shorts, plus they can be chilly if it takes longer to dry off. But you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not ok for community pool. Ok for beach.

This literally makes no sense. Kids and husbands and other women are at the beach too. Why is ok there if it’s offensive at a pool?

Because people feel at the beach they will never hear about it. Whereas at community pool, she fears people she knows will be talking behind her back and others in the community may think differently of her.

So let me get this straight, you are supposed to cover up in front of people you know, but let it all hang out at the beach with strangers. What? I do the exact same things with my family at both a beach and community pool. Why would I dress differently? Do childrens' and dads' eyes work differently at the beach vs. the pool? This whole discussion makes me want to bust out some sort of butt-floss brazilian number just to poke the bathing suit police in the eye.

[Anonymous]

Very few women at our pool could pull off a bikini let alone a more skimpy cut. If you have the body for it go for it; odds are the fat women already hate you for have a tight/in shape body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think it's inappropriate for a family pool. Like a PP said, just kids, dads and moms there. And in none of those cases is it appropriate for you to walk around in front of them with your butt hanging out of your suit.

+1 A family pool? Nope. It would cause a problem at our country club pool. I don't think the board would do anything but I do think there would be some social ostracization occurring because OP was wearing it at a family pool.

Family pool? Only if you don't care that some will be talking about you. Resort? Sure. Vacation, yes. Right or wrong, most moms want to look like moms at community pools, not like the "hot mom" that everyone talks about. And if you want to be the hot mom then you better be hot.

God, the internalized misogyny is so depressing.

NP. I don’t have a problem with it but the feminist in me is wondering why women’s bathing suits expose so much, compared to men’s? It just seems expected that we show most of our butts and boobs (and have perfectly flat abs if we’re going to expose them) but men are swimming in shorts literally down to their knees (many with guts). With the exception of rash guards, women’s suits are getting smaller and men’s suits are getting longer. It’s strange, isn’t it?

x1000

Does anyone really want to see men’s junk on display?

I don't. I also don't want to see your junk on display. Keep it covered, please. I know you have a tushie and boobies. I do, too. I don't need to see yours and you don't need to see mine. Have some self-respect.