Remarried boomer parent takes his wife and her adult kids and their families on vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to fly to visit your dad for Christmas since he is in the Midwest? If they say your Christmas Day visit is 12 to 2 then are you staying at a hotel and renting a car just to spend 2 hours with them. That sounds crazy. Why bother doing that? Why bother visiting at all? He must be very confident that the second family will take care of him, should his wife pass, and he gets to the point where he needs some help.

OP sounds unhinged so it could be part of the reason why he is so nice to the stepchildren. He’s known them for 20 years so this isn’t a new thing.

There’s someone here that is unhinged and it’s not OP.

+2

People who don’t experience it have no clue what it’s like, as with everything in life. Wait until your mom and dad divorce, or one passes away and you gain a stepparent. Different ballgame.

I think OP sounds like a self-absorbed jerk and I’ve had a stepmom and stepdad since I was 2 years old. Not the person who called OP “unhinged” but I do think OP sounds like it’s all about the money/perks and she doesn’t really want to spend time with dear old dad.

Not getting that vibe at all. Also wouldn’t call someone a self absorbed jerk with so little info to go on, so there’s that indicator of your character.

I didn’t say OP *is* a self absorbed jerk. That’s just how she’s making herself *sound* in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to fly to visit your dad for Christmas since he is in the Midwest? If they say your Christmas Day visit is 12 to 2 then are you staying at a hotel and renting a car just to spend 2 hours with them. That sounds crazy. Why bother doing that? Why bother visiting at all? He must be very confident that the second family will take care of him, should his wife pass, and he gets to the point where he needs some help.

OP sounds unhinged so it could be part of the reason why he is so nice to the stepchildren. He’s known them for 20 years so this isn’t a new thing.

There’s someone here that is unhinged and it’s not OP.

+2

People who don’t experience it have no clue what it’s like, as with everything in life. Wait until your mom and dad divorce, or one passes away and you gain a stepparent. Different ballgame.

I think OP sounds like a self-absorbed jerk and I’ve had a stepmom and stepdad since I was 2 years old. Not the person who called OP “unhinged” but I do think OP sounds like it’s all about the money/perks and she doesn’t really want to spend time with dear old dad.

Not getting that vibe at all. Also wouldn’t call someone a self absorbed jerk with so little info to go on, so there’s that indicator of your character.

NP. +1000. OP does not sound like a self-absorbed jerk at all. I think the pp (the one who said the OP sounded like a jerk) sounds like she had an agenda. There seem to be a couple of those who seem to have an agenda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to fly to visit your dad for Christmas since he is in the Midwest? If they say your Christmas Day visit is 12 to 2 then are you staying at a hotel and renting a car just to spend 2 hours with them. That sounds crazy. Why bother doing that? Why bother visiting at all? He must be very confident that the second family will take care of him, should his wife pass, and he gets to the point where he needs some help.

OP sounds unhinged so it could be part of the reason why he is so nice to the stepchildren. He’s known them for 20 years so this isn’t a new thing.

There’s someone here that is unhinged and it’s not OP.

+2

People who don’t experience it have no clue what it’s like, as with everything in life. Wait until your mom and dad divorce, or one passes away and you gain a stepparent. Different ballgame.

I think OP sounds like a self-absorbed jerk and I’ve had a stepmom and stepdad since I was 2 years old. Not the person who called OP “unhinged” but I do think OP sounds like it’s all about the money/perks and she doesn’t really want to spend time with dear old dad.

Regardless, still a terrible and unhelpful thing to say to some that’s hurting.

Not getting that vibe at all. Also wouldn’t call someone a self absorbed jerk with so little info to go on, so there’s that indicator of your character.

I didn’t say OP *is* a self absorbed jerk. That’s just how she’s making herself *sound* in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to fly to visit your dad for Christmas since he is in the Midwest? If they say your Christmas Day visit is 12 to 2 then are you staying at a hotel and renting a car just to spend 2 hours with them. That sounds crazy. Why bother doing that? Why bother visiting at all? He must be very confident that the second family will take care of him, should his wife pass, and he gets to the point where he needs some help.

OP sounds unhinged so it could be part of the reason why he is so nice to the stepchildren. He’s known them for 20 years so this isn’t a new thing.

There’s someone here that is unhinged and it’s not OP.

+2

People who don’t experience it have no clue what it’s like, as with everything in life. Wait until your mom and dad divorce, or one passes away and you gain a stepparent. Different ballgame.

I think OP sounds like a self-absorbed jerk and I’ve had a stepmom and stepdad since I was 2 years old. Not the person who called OP “unhinged” but I do think OP sounds like it’s all about the money/perks and she doesn’t really want to spend time with dear old dad.

Not getting that vibe at all. Also wouldn’t call someone a self absorbed jerk with so little info to go on, so there’s that indicator of your character.

I didn’t say OP *is* a self absorbed jerk. That’s just how she’s making herself *sound* in this thread.

Semantics. Still a mean and unhelpful thing to say to someone that’s hurting.

[Anonymous]

If OP’s dad is funding lavish vacations for his wife’s family, and OP is paying her own way to visit him, and these visits are limited to his wife’s scheduled increments of time, then OP is not a self entitled jerk. JMO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a combo:
1) women plan these things and she naturally wants to spend more time with her kids than her stepkids.
2) men do tend to forget about their prior family when they remarry.
3) Dad has specific maybe even justifiable reasons to avoid spending time with or money on OP and siblings.

Frankly, I would have hated it if my father had remarried after my mom died. I don't think it would have worked for me, even if it had worked for him ...
It wouldn't have been so bad if my father had a no-strings attached type relationship with a someone, but another woman moving in with him, or remarrying ... no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP’s dad is funding lavish vacations for his wife’s family, and OP is paying her own way to visit him, and these visits are limited to his wife’s scheduled increments of time, then OP is not a self entitled jerk. JMO

+1, there is a simple solution, just move on. My mom is like that and for my sanity, I have given up caring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP’s dad is funding lavish vacations for his wife’s family, and OP is paying her own way to visit him, and these visits are limited to his wife’s scheduled increments of time, then OP is not a self entitled jerk. JMO

+1, there is a simple solution, just move on. My mom is like that and for my sanity, I have given up caring.

+1

Radical acceptance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a combo:
1) women plan these things and she naturally wants to spend more time with her kids than her stepkids.
2) men do tend to forget about their prior family when they remarry.
3) Dad has specific maybe even justifiable reasons to avoid spending time with or money on OP and siblings.

Frankly, I would have hated it if my father had remarried after my mom died. I don't think it would have worked for me, even if it had worked for him ...
It wouldn't have been so bad if my father had a no-strings attached type relationship with a someone, but another woman moving in with him, or remarrying ... no way.

You sound selfish. It's not about what works for you PP. It's about sharing their life with a partner. It's not a void you can fill even as a bio child. You need to live your life and stop being so entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a combo:
1) women plan these things and she naturally wants to spend more time with her kids than her stepkids.
2) men do tend to forget about their prior family when they remarry.
3) Dad has specific maybe even justifiable reasons to avoid spending time with or money on OP and siblings.

Frankly, I would have hated it if my father had remarried after my mom died. I don't think it would have worked for me, even if it had worked for him ...
It wouldn't have been so bad if my father had a no-strings attached type relationship with a someone, but another woman moving in with him, or remarrying ... no way.

You sound selfish. It's not about what works for you PP. It's about sharing their life with a partner. It's not a void you can fill even as a bio child. You need to live your life and stop being so entitled.

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a combo:
1) women plan these things and she naturally wants to spend more time with her kids than her stepkids.
2) men do tend to forget about their prior family when they remarry.
3) Dad has specific maybe even justifiable reasons to avoid spending time with or money on OP and siblings.

Frankly, I would have hated it if my father had remarried after my mom died. I don't think it would have worked for me, even if it had worked for him ...
It wouldn't have been so bad if my father had a no-strings attached type relationship with a someone, but another woman moving in with him, or remarrying ... no way.

You sound selfish. It's not about what works for you PP. It's about sharing their life with a partner. It's not a void you can fill even as a bio child. You need to live your life and stop being so entitled.

+1. Who cares about your parent’s happiness, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a combo:
1) women plan these things and she naturally wants to spend more time with her kids than her stepkids.
2) men do tend to forget about their prior family when they remarry.
3) Dad has specific maybe even justifiable reasons to avoid spending time with or money on OP and siblings.

Frankly, I would have hated it if my father had remarried after my mom died. I don't think it would have worked for me, even if it had worked for him ...
It wouldn't have been so bad if my father had a no-strings attached type relationship with a someone, but another woman moving in with him, or remarrying ... no way.

You sound selfish. It's not about what works for you PP. It's about sharing their life with a partner. It's not a void you can fill even as a bio child. You need to live your life and stop being so entitled.

You sound childish. Emotionally mature adults are able to have quality relationships with their adult children and new wives. This unfortunately isn’t often the case. Many adults are also very happy to remain unmarried after their partner passes. Your perspective on voids and what can fill them is a very narrow one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a combo:
1) women plan these things and she naturally wants to spend more time with her kids than her stepkids.
2) men do tend to forget about their prior family when they remarry.
3) Dad has specific maybe even justifiable reasons to avoid spending time with or money on OP and siblings.

Frankly, I would have hated it if my father had remarried after my mom died. I don't think it would have worked for me, even if it had worked for him ...
It wouldn't have been so bad if my father had a no-strings attached type relationship with a someone, but another woman moving in with him, or remarrying ... no way.

You sound selfish. It's not about what works for you PP. It's about sharing their life with a partner. It's not a void you can fill even as a bio child. You need to live your life and stop being so entitled.

+1. Who cares about your parent’s happiness, right?

Sockpuppeting. Nice.

[Anonymous]

Oddly the stepmom and dad can have a close relationship with her kids...while op gets shunted to nowhere land with her kids.

It’s not unusual, but it does hurt. I don’t think op is being a bad person or daughter. She just wants to be treated fairly.

Dcum has this issue where technically, someone is within their “rights” to do something, but it’s still a d!ck move. So if op’s dad is paying for vacations with his new wife and her family, technically yes, it’s his money and he has a right to do so. But it’s a d!ck move to not treat all kids and grandkids the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP’s dad is funding lavish vacations for his wife’s family, and OP is paying her own way to visit him, and these visits are limited to his wife’s scheduled increments of time, then OP is not a self entitled jerk. JMO

+1, there is a simple solution, just move on. My mom is like that and for my sanity, I have given up caring.

Except OP wants her dad's money, so she can't move on lest she get disinherited.