Is "sugar" a thing in DMV upper class?

[Anonymous]

I knew people who did this, especially in their 20s. They saw it as a means to get ahead.

I see people like this at the club I belong to. There is a gross married old man my father's age always hitting on young minority women, and he brings them over for drinks/dinner and it's clear what is going on. Never see him with his spouse there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of sugaring in DMV!

For the men who can afford it, they get to have sex with a hot woman and not have to put in the time or effort to woo them and date them. There's not pressure about serious commitment and can extricate oneself at will. Of course, downside would be potential scam artists, extortion, and risk of STIs from someone who is akin to a prostitute.

For the women, money is good and a lot less effort than working a regular job. Of course, downside is having to have sex with men you are not attracted to and obliging on things on normally wouldn't want to do.

All the sugarbabies I've known had full-time jobs. Usual profile is they were in their 20's, recently out of college, working entry-level professional jobs, and were looking for some excitement in their life along with earning some $$.

Guys their age can't afford to take them to nice restaurants, and aren't as interesting to talk to as older men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I'd say half my friends (I'm male, in my 40s) do this, and that's just the ones who admit to it. We're all in the higher income level (entrepreneurs, finance, lawyers).

You need new friends.

[Anonymous]

I dated an older guy. When I broke up with him, he offered to turn it into a sugar relationship. I declined. A year later I saw him with a similar girl who had the biggest fake boobs, and I was soooooo glad I declined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live within a close radius of all the DC schools and match with students at least 2-3 times a week. About once every six months, someone comes straight into the conversation with the sugar rate she expects. About once a month it’s more along the lines of “I’m on here to be spoiled.” The rest is just like normal dating where I pay for nice dinners and then we have sex.

How do you make this happen? What do you talk about?

Pricing structure. Cash App or Zelle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live within a close radius of all the DC schools and match with students at least 2-3 times a week. About once every six months, someone comes straight into the conversation with the sugar rate she expects. About once a month it’s more along the lines of “I’m on here to be spoiled.” The rest is just like normal dating where I pay for nice dinners and then we have sex.

Any relationship or just dinner and sex? How old are you? Are they attractive or average?

Yes, normal dating, sometimes leading to a 2-3 month relationship. (They eventually get bored) They’re always attractive.

I’m 42. Tall, thin, lift weights and have all my hair. High profile job that I can make sound more interesting than it is.

I often date lawyer/consultant/gov agency type divorced moms my age also. Conversations are basically the same, though kids come up more with fellow parents.

[Anonymous]

It’s harmless. Everyone gets what they want and when they are ready to move on, they do.

[Anonymous]

The problem with most sugar “relationships” is that they’re temporary and artificial. Few girls think about networking and how the relationship can pay off in the long run.

My favorite niece got a job a couple of years ago in a prominent research lab after graduating from a T-40 college, to get some experience before med or grad school. She never expected that the 50+ Director is tall, trim and had a full head of hair. But over the months working there she learned how unhappy he was, researching critical medical breakthroughs while his SAHM wife bugged him about the kids’ school things and her wanting to start her career but the kids’ emotional needs and her missing her Dad who passed away etc.

So my niece got to know him over the months of working together and happy hours and lunches and conferences, and they both realized how much they enjoyed each other’s company. And for those who think yeah right he’s stringing her along, the wife found photos on the cloud where they’re clearly thrilled to be spending PLATONIC time together. Wife issued an ultimatum, and HE LEFT the wife for my niece. So it’s real, NOT. a transaction. My niece and the Director are still together and just waiting for the divorce settlement so that they can be open with the kids and don’t pay the wife anything more than necessary.

Was my niece “sugar”? NO. He did not pay one dime to my niece beyond the LAB paying salary and benefits. My niece is far better off as she has built a successful career right out of school AND has a man who is far more established and mature than boys her own age.

Will it last forever? Will they get married? Who knows? But the relationship fits right now, and without any sneaky private exchange of funds. Everything is above board. He gets the vitality and respect he’s earned, and she gets the success and happiness that SHE’S earned. THAT’S how so-called May-December relationships should work: mutual sweetness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why even get married or stay married? Poor wives who probably work so hard to keep.up, stay relevant and attractive, manage household's and kids, and all while being cheated on repeatedly. So sad.

When wives stop putting out especially menopause husbands need the sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with most sugar “relationships” is that they’re temporary and artificial. Few girls think about networking and how the relationship can pay off in the long run.

My favorite niece got a job a couple of years ago in a prominent research lab after graduating from a T-40 college, to get some experience before med or grad school. She never expected that the 50+ Director is tall, trim and had a full head of hair. But over the months working there she learned how unhappy he was, researching critical medical breakthroughs while his SAHM wife bugged him about the kids’ school things and her wanting to start her career but the kids’ emotional needs and her missing her Dad who passed away etc.

So my niece got to know him over the months of working together and happy hours and lunches and conferences, and they both realized how much they enjoyed each other’s company. And for those who think yeah right he’s stringing her along, the wife found photos on the cloud where they’re clearly thrilled to be spending PLATONIC time together. Wife issued an ultimatum, and HE LEFT the wife for my niece. So it’s real, NOT. a transaction. My niece and the Director are still together and just waiting for the divorce settlement so that they can be open with the kids and don’t pay the wife anything more than necessary.

Was my niece “sugar”? NO. He did not pay one dime to my niece beyond the LAB paying salary and benefits. My niece is far better off as she has built a successful career right out of school AND has a man who is far more established and mature than boys her own age.

Will it last forever? Will they get married? Who knows? But the relationship fits right now, and without any sneaky private exchange of funds. Everything is above board. He gets the vitality and respect he’s earned, and she gets the success and happiness that SHE’S earned. THAT’S how so-called May-December relationships should work: mutual sweetness.

Above board is not the phrase I'd use to describe leaving your marriage in your 50s for a recent college grad who works for you and I'm not sure where in this story the young woman earns either success or happiness. Also that's a crazy level of detail to know about your niece's lover's marriage. But if the purpose of this was to make prostitution look better in comparison -- accomplished!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with most sugar “relationships” is that they’re temporary and artificial. Few girls think about networking and how the relationship can pay off in the long run.

I've had a few such relationships and in about half the cases we keep in touch even after the fact. I do this mostly when I travel so if I don't end up needing to travel to their city that often, things will fizzle. One I helped get a job as a contact in her area I knew was hiring and it was a good fit. I've also advised a few on their businesses or careers. If you pick the right ones (I go for the "normal" women who already have a full-time job and just looking for a little extra excitement and fun), it can be mutually beneficial in more ways than you'd think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, you got me to click. I did because I was cooking this morning and ended up with an extra spoonful of granulated sugar that I didn't want to put back into the bin, because it might have a tiny bit of flour in it. I just popped that heaping teaspoon into my mouth. Wow. So delicious. Such a fun childhood memory.

I absolutely recommend it if you haven't done it for a while.

As to your topic; I have never known anyone involved in such an arrangement. No one I associate with has the money to do it. I assume it is a rich person/TV thing.

I thought it was about Domino sugar too. Disappointed.

This is how you know you’re getting old—-and I say that with zero snark—I was disappointed too!

Yeah, well -- this is how I know I'm getting old and ... fat. I thought the thread was about how people refer to their diabetes, lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with most sugar “relationships” is that they’re temporary and artificial. Few girls think about networking and how the relationship can pay off in the long run.

My favorite niece got a job a couple of years ago in a prominent research lab after graduating from a T-40 college, to get some experience before med or grad school. She never expected that the 50+ Director is tall, trim and had a full head of hair. But over the months working there she learned how unhappy he was, researching critical medical breakthroughs while his SAHM wife bugged him about the kids’ school things and her wanting to start her career but the kids’ emotional needs and her missing her Dad who passed away etc.

So my niece got to know him over the months of working together and happy hours and lunches and conferences, and they both realized how much they enjoyed each other’s company. And for those who think yeah right he’s stringing her along, the wife found photos on the cloud where they’re clearly thrilled to be spending PLATONIC time together. Wife issued an ultimatum, and HE LEFT the wife for my niece. So it’s real, NOT. a transaction. My niece and the Director are still together and just waiting for the divorce settlement so that they can be open with the kids and don’t pay the wife anything more than necessary.

Was my niece “sugar”? NO. He did not pay one dime to my niece beyond the LAB paying salary and benefits. My niece is far better off as she has built a successful career right out of school AND has a man who is far more established and mature than boys her own age.

Will it last forever? Will they get married? Who knows? But the relationship fits right now, and without any sneaky private exchange of funds. Everything is above board. He gets the vitality and respect he’s earned, and she gets the success and happiness that SHE’S earned. THAT’S how so-called May-December relationships should work: mutual sweetness.

Mutual sweetness! I think you've already been called out as a person posting from multiple perspectives. However, let me give some thoughts here.

1) Hottie deserving science dad and sweet young science grad obviously haven't thought about this from the perspective of the kids. The younger woman wins the major prize of likely resentful stepchildren. It doesn't matter whether the relationship was innocent until the wife tried to make an issue out of the very enjoyable platonic relationship that was going on. Dad is leaving their mother for what he sees as a better option. The kids are unlikely to agree unless their mother alienates them. Dad clearly broke up the family.

2) This story links with the previously told one and another thread where the wife is being judged for deep grief over a family member's death. A DH who cannot help a spouse in a time of extended deep grief is not a strong, trustworthy partner. More of a selfish, "cut and run" type. Also the emphasis on trying to screw the wife out of financial support (no more than necessary means every $ is grudged). Hottie science dad, wherever you are, you are an entitled, selfish-sounding person. You used your wife's youth to give you kids and are dumping her now that she's accomplished that life mission for you. What did you promise in your marriage vows? Are you only a conditional keeper of promises? Can you be trusted?

3) Platonic photos taken by adults at a conference?!? People take pictures to remember memorable times and chatting and dining with coworkers at a conference rarely counts. Unless taken by the official conference photographer...in which case why were they downloaded/saved to the cloud? I'm thinking wife could smell the whiff of emotional infidelity before hottie science dad self-actualized enough to really hit on his colleague. People who listen to spouse work stories also pick up on work crushes, excitement, etc.

4) There are norms and policies about dating subordinates for reasons. Not a good look re: hottie science dad's judgment. And anyone who does this once is at greater risk of doing it again. And has this dating been revealed to HR if policy requires? If not...why not?

Your "niece" is too young to know whether this relationship will turn out to be an o.k. situation for her or not. But above all things, the biggest caution flags for the niece that I see would be resentful stepkids and a man who treated his first wife poorly after starting an emotional affair leading to divorce. She should dump him and find a younger peer without baggage.

[Anonymous]

I’m divorced two years, almost 50 and have been using seeking the most popular sugar site since my divorce. I have two little kids share 50/50 with mom so mainly I have no time or emotional energy for normal dating. That plus an average looking divorced single dad 50 don’t have much success on OLD apps. I just don’t have time to socialize and find dates the normal way as I did 20-30yrs ago. I’ve had many sugarships, but I’m posting the memorable ones below. Sugaring is definitely a thing and quite prevalent here in DMV. I live in Arlington FYI.

1. Let’s call her Tina the one that got away. 26, blonde, only fans soft core model and DC club bottle service girl. We met for drinks in Tyson’s and immediately hit it off. She was fun beautiful and had such a bubbling personality. Sex was great. I could tell she was really into me (guys she dated in past all kinda had same look as me) We dated for about 3mo she would drive to meet me from Hagerstown 1-2 times a week. $400 per meet. Usually at my place drinking and sex. She cancelled a date and I was so dumb to end things with her over it. She was a no drama perfect sugar baby. I was new to sugar and didn’t appreciate a good thing I had because of so many options

2. Let’s call her Lily, the girl who broke my heart. This one is kind of cringe in so many ways. She was 18 and I wasn’t sure about it. Pale skin, black hair beauty who was unbelievably intelligent. Living alone since 15 her life was a complete mess. We met for lunch and it was meh. But we kept in touch. Found out she tried to kill herself and ended up in ER. She didn’t seem to have any friends or family nearby after she came home from ER a few days later I invited her over just so she could have someone to talk to, and eat! She hadn’t eaten for days. We talked till 3am and I was sure I’m not getting into any arrangement with her. But I felt so sorry for her a girl so smart not in school with no prospects for future. Broken home, raised by foster parents, clearly the most traumatic childhood of anyone I knew. But since she was so smart she had turned herself into a classy well spoken young girl not trashy at all as would be expected. We stayed in touch. I really admired her independence and intelligence more than anything. Yeah she looked great but she was 18 lol! She did indicate she was interested in an arrangement but there wasn’t much sexual chemistry mostly I guess because of the age diff and we both feeling weird about it. She flew home a few weeks later and when she came back was sick for a week and after lots of text back and forth I called her and told her I’m picking her up and taking her to ER. Spent the day with her in the hospital. Bought her groceries when I dropped her home. Couple weeks later we met for lunch in Tyson’s. She looked nice. Went back to my place to listen to music and chill. Having been talking for weeks were getting friendly by now and she told me how much she appreciated me taking care of her at ER etc. She excused herself. Came back in a skimpy white lingerie.. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination but it was amazing and so our arrangement started. I was giving her 5k a month she’d meet up 2-3 times a week stay over sometimes. We connected. Bonded. She would stay over for hours talking about her life and I kept feeling more and more “caring” towards her. But her intense childhood and family trauma meant there was an unbelievable amount of drama. And instead of being a sugar daddy her age meant I kept having “dad” type feelings for her. I wanted to her her on therapy to heal. It was weird And emotions all over the place. Months in I hear ” I love you “ and stupid me (I should have known better) said it back. A month later everything ended. The end was horrid. She moved back home. It hurt a lot. I decided no more exclusive arrangements for me.

3. Francesca the former porn star. She was mid late 20s now but still looked as great as in her younger porn days. She is smart, has a college degree and comes across as a normal cute gnd type unless you try to reverse image search (lol) She was extremely submissive in all ways. Sex was super as expected from a former porn star. But she was such a cool chill person. We would hang out a lot, watch movies go out to eat. No drama. Did I say great sex? I’d watch her old vids and tell her I went to do that and she was more than game! Every time! Perfect communication and logistics too. She had a good head on her shoulders. I’d pay 500 per meet and I guess she liked me enough and would stay overnight and even weekends never asking for more $ than we agreed to. I guess she found a rich SD who locked her into an exclusive thing. I’d love to meet her again any time ..

4. Let’s call her Anastasia the Princess. About 30, blonde divorced with no kids. Her ex hubby took care of her financially so she never gained any workplace skills but got used to a lux life. She had limited options to sugaring but the best part she seems really into me. I see her 2-4 times a month. $500 a meet. But since she is so normal and the kind of person I’d associate with in real life we go out lots to eat, hang out at park to hike etc. I don’t offer any $ for these she is the one calling and texting me to hang out. Like I said I feel like she might have a bit of crush on me but I don’t take advantage. If we meet to have sex I give her what I promised.

5. Let’s call her Laila. Could have met her on bumble she is 40/41 divorced Persian single mom with two little kids. Beautiful but has had a lot of work done. Has a grad degree from John Hopkins and professional job. But does this to get extra luxuries she couldn’t afford after her divorce. If you know these Persian girls they are high maintenance.. I paid her 600 and sex was great she was really into it. It’s like she can play out her porn star fantasies that she couldn’t with her ex husband .. But after a while I felt like we didn’t have much of a connection apart from sex (she wanted things discrete. Meet at hotel. I prefer more normal kind of arrangements doing other things besides that too) also since I match with 40yr plus single moms on OLD I felt it wasn’t as much of a novelty to be paying to have sex with her. Plus her kids and my kids meant logistics sucked.

6. Let’s call this one Raisa the Russia-Turkish minx. Mid 30s very classy elegant beautiful face and body. works a premier banker for a large bank dealing with high net worth guys. I guess that’s how she got into this. Her 80-100k bank job catering to multi millionaires all day must have created some luxxx cravings. Anyway we started off taking kinky things like bdsm and she was game (and it’s all new to me) so we started to exploring with some fun messing around like in the shades of grey movies lol. Because of her 9-5/mon to Friday job we don’t meet as much but I pay 700 a meet. Highest I’ve paid but she is a banker and tough negotiator. No regrets though. Yesterday we had 7hrs of sex. I kid you not. After 4hrs she looks at me and says how do I look after 4hr of sex. I say: hungry. So we go out for a quick bite. Come back for 3 more hours of sex. Somehow she keeps me going at my age. It’s her kissing that does it for me. And how she looks at me. Unlike Anastasia above I’m not sure if she is really into me or just a sex goddess who knows how to make the man feel like a sex god lol.

There have been plenty of forgetful meetings too. But overall it’s been good to great. I never did this while married though I hear most of the legit sugar daddies are married. But I definitely recommend it to any single 40+ guys who have extra $ to spare. It’s nothing like pros/escort/ick and there are genuine connections and chemistry coming out of many of these relationships. Not to mention the financial help they get from it

In hindsight my ex wife was my biggest sugar baby. When we met she just finished grad school and we decided she didn’t need to work full time as I made very high income. In 15yrs of marriage I brought in about 90-95% of HHI and we both liked it that way. I do come from a traditional family background and this is the norm in my circle. So helping these girls out is nothing out of the ordinary for me.

[Anonymous]

"I could tell she was really into me" - bwahahahahaha, no.