The Bachelor 2021- Matt James

[Anonymous]

It gave some good insight on what it feels like to be in his shoes. Both men said they have to be extra careful in what they say and do because they feel pressure to set a good example as a black man. I felt bad for Matt- you can see that he is struggling with the situation but I didn't think he and Rachel would last regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no bloody idea who Emmanuel Acho is so I googled him. Former NFL but don't see the connection for why he hosted? I found him likable. Hillbilly America watches this show so I like how they discussed everything without making it 'threatening for the racists'... hopefully it does make people think about their upbringing/behaviour... at one point I was just cringing with how Rachel kept insisting she was 'educating herself' without explaining or offering examples... and she was sitting between two black men, yet still so clueless. You can't get blood from a stone. Poor Matt. At one point when Acho was like 'ok you can hug and say goodbye' and Matt could not even move or look at her... and they sat stiffly. Was so cringe. I mean you can be ignorant/unaware or have differences in world view or upbringing... but when you can't even come to terms to talk/learn from each other.... damn. I think that is her youth perhaps- totally lacking in depth... but also perhaps he was too inarticulate with her to get her to understand.

Ugh, run far from each other and stay far away.

I've always liked Matt but the fact that he couldn't even look at her or could barely say a word was very disappointing. I find the whole thing over the top. I'm a POC in my 40s and I can think back of a handful of times that my friends (of various backgrounds) have said some racially ignorant things and I've done some things too that would make people cringe these days. In all situations no friendships were ruined and in fact some of these events gave us an opportunity to have meaningful discussions about race and stereotypes and guess what, we learned from each other. Friendships and relationships don't have to end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know about you all but I couldn't stand Matt in that last episode and during the after the rose.. You could tell that he wasnt going back together with Rachel only to protect his reputation. Dude could barely come up with a response to anything.

I didn’t think this at all. Your SO is the person you should feel most comfortable with. It’s exhausting to go through life as a POC. I might be up for explaining or educating a casual friend here and there. But I’m not spending my entire life doing that. And to have kids with someone like that. I would have been just as over it as he was. I am fine to be with a white SO but not one I have to explain basic crap to. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

I honestly think he just wasn’t that into her and used her past actions as an excuse to end things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think he just wasn’t that into her and used her past actions as an excuse to end things.

This. I mean, the guy is a Republican who campaigned for Mitt Romney. I wouldn't exactly call him invested in the Black community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think he just wasn’t that into her and used her past actions as an excuse to end things.

This. I mean, the guy is a Republican who campaigned for Mitt Romney. I wouldn't exactly call him invested in the Black community.

Yes..he is using this as an opportunity to elevate his popularity. Oh poor Matt who didn't realize he ended up with a racist. He wasn't even into her thus the lack of proposal, or anyone for that matter. Sorry but Rachel is looking more like the genuine and mature one here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think he just wasn’t that into her and used her past actions as an excuse to end things.

This. I mean, the guy is a Republican who campaigned for Mitt Romney. I wouldn't exactly call him invested in the Black community.

Yes..he is using this as an opportunity to elevate his popularity. Oh poor Matt who didn't realize he ended up with a racist. He wasn't even into her thus the lack of proposal, or anyone for that matter. Sorry but Rachel is looking more like the genuine and mature one here.

I completely agree. Rachael’s actions were offensive but it seems they came more from a place of complete ignorance than genuine racism (not that that’s an excuse). Just my opinion, but I don’t think her actions were an insurmountable obstacle to their relationship.

[Anonymous]

I get the feeling Matt was so turned off to Rachel based on MORE than just the antebellum photo. I've read some suggestions that she may have mocked others for dating black guys in high school or something like that. They didn't bring up anything other than the sorority photo...but Matt's pain serms to run deeper than that...that Rachel doesn't understand his experience as a black man.

I think Matt can't get over Rachel's past behavior...but it's more than dresses at a party. He doesn't trust her to be the person she claims to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think he just wasn’t that into her and used her past actions as an excuse to end things.

This. I mean, the guy is a Republican who campaigned for Mitt Romney. I wouldn't exactly call him invested in the Black community.

Yes..he is using this as an opportunity to elevate his popularity. Oh poor Matt who didn't realize he ended up with a racist. He wasn't even into her thus the lack of proposal, or anyone for that matter. Sorry but Rachel is looking more like the genuine and mature one here.

I completely agree. Rachael’s actions were offensive but it seems they came more from a place of complete ignorance than genuine racism (not that that’s an excuse). Just my opinion, but I don’t think her actions were an insurmountable obstacle to their relationship.

I agree it was ignorance, she actually changed my mind about her in that interview. It was one of the most genuine responses to a scandal like that I’ve seen. She truly seems to want to learn. So many people make excuses and don’t listen, she was doing the opposite.

As for Matt, he actually seemed pretty torn to me. I have a feeling he still has major feelings for her but is concerned about what it would mean if he got back together with her. I mean for his image, his family, his future kids if they married etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know about you all but I couldn't stand Matt in that last episode and during the after the rose.. You could tell that he wasnt going back together with Rachel only to protect his reputation. Dude could barely come up with a response to anything.

It didn’t strike me that way at all. He sat about as far from her as he could when they were on the sofa. It looked like he was in a lot of emotional pain. I think it must be beyond awful and traumatic to feel rejected on such an essential level by someone you thought you were in love with.

One thing that struck me as I watched is there no one questioned why Hannah B wouldn’t want to be with Jed, after it came to light that he was in a different relationship, so why do some people not understand why Matt ended things?

2 completely different situations. Jed deliberately lied to her about another woman and denied the relationship. Rachel was racially insensitive and ignorant based on her past actions but has since apologized and is committed to further educating herself. Rachel was clearly committed to him.

I guess the question in my mind is, could Rachel truly be committed to HIM, because she had no idea that her racist actions were harmful. A couple of things stand out to me about that interview. One is that Rachel apologized that it took her so long to understand why Matt was upset... that she understands *now* that it must have hurt him deeply for him to want to break it off. This says to me that she tried to say it was NBD when he asked her about it. And second, that she said she didn't spend one moment worrying about what she did. It's because she didn't see it as a problem. Yes, hopefully she does now, but I can see how it would still feel like a betrayal to Matt. And it probably also feels like a big gulf between them. I think she's sincere and wants to do better, but that motivation needs to come from within and not because she wants to be with Matt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think he just wasn’t that into her and used her past actions as an excuse to end things.

This. I mean, the guy is a Republican who campaigned for Mitt Romney. I wouldn't exactly call him invested in the Black community.

Yep. I think her past actions ended up being a very convenient way for him to back out of the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no bloody idea who Emmanuel Acho is so I googled him. Former NFL but don't see the connection for why he hosted? I found him likable. Hillbilly America watches this show so I like how they discussed everything without making it 'threatening for the racists'... hopefully it does make people think about their upbringing/behaviour... at one point I was just cringing with how Rachel kept insisting she was 'educating herself' without explaining or offering examples... and she was sitting between two black men, yet still so clueless. You can't get blood from a stone. Poor Matt. At one point when Acho was like 'ok you can hug and say goodbye' and Matt could not even move or look at her... and they sat stiffly. Was so cringe. I mean you can be ignorant/unaware or have differences in world view or upbringing... but when you can't even come to terms to talk/learn from each other.... damn. I think that is her youth perhaps- totally lacking in depth... but also perhaps he was too inarticulate with her to get her to understand.

Ugh, run far from each other and stay far away.

I've always liked Matt but the fact that he couldn't even look at her or could barely say a word was very disappointing. I find the whole thing over the top. I'm a POC in my 40s and I can think back of a handful of times that my friends (of various backgrounds) have said some racially ignorant things and I've done some things too that would make people cringe these days. In all situations no friendships were ruined and in fact some of these events gave us an opportunity to have meaningful discussions about race and stereotypes and guess what, we learned from each other. Friendships and relationships don't have to end.

Yeah, but I wouldn't want to marry that person!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think he just wasn’t that into her and used her past actions as an excuse to end things.

This. I mean, the guy is a Republican who campaigned for Mitt Romney. I wouldn't exactly call him invested in the Black community.

He was NEVER going to choose a black woman. That's for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no bloody idea who Emmanuel Acho is so I googled him. Former NFL but don't see the connection for why he hosted? I found him likable. Hillbilly America watches this show so I like how they discussed everything without making it 'threatening for the racists'... hopefully it does make people think about their upbringing/behaviour... at one point I was just cringing with how Rachel kept insisting she was 'educating herself' without explaining or offering examples... and she was sitting between two black men, yet still so clueless. You can't get blood from a stone. Poor Matt. At one point when Acho was like 'ok you can hug and say goodbye' and Matt could not even move or look at her... and they sat stiffly. Was so cringe. I mean you can be ignorant/unaware or have differences in world view or upbringing... but when you can't even come to terms to talk/learn from each other.... damn. I think that is her youth perhaps- totally lacking in depth... but also perhaps he was too inarticulate with her to get her to understand.

Ugh, run far from each other and stay far away.

I've always liked Matt but the fact that he couldn't even look at her or could barely say a word was very disappointing. I find the whole thing over the top. I'm a POC in my 40s and I can think back of a handful of times that my friends (of various backgrounds) have said some racially ignorant things and I've done some things too that would make people cringe these days. In all situations no friendships were ruined and in fact some of these events gave us an opportunity to have meaningful discussions about race and stereotypes and guess what, we learned from each other. Friendships and relationships don't have to end.

Yeah, but I wouldn't want to marry that person!

DP. Similarly, I wouldn’t want to marry a man who hangs out with men who jokingly insult women’s bodies and joins in the laughter. Which is what Matt did in that clip with his buddies on the golf course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think he just wasn’t that into her and used her past actions as an excuse to end things.

This. I mean, the guy is a Republican who campaigned for Mitt Romney. I wouldn't exactly call him invested in the Black community.

Yes..he is using this as an opportunity to elevate his popularity. Oh poor Matt who didn't realize he ended up with a racist. He wasn't even into her thus the lack of proposal, or anyone for that matter. Sorry but Rachel is looking more like the genuine and mature one here.

I completely agree. Rachael’s actions were offensive but it seems they came more from a place of complete ignorance than genuine racism (not that that’s an excuse). Just my opinion, but I don’t think her actions were an insurmountable obstacle to their relationship.

I agree it was ignorance, she actually changed my mind about her in that interview. It was one of the most genuine responses to a scandal like that I’ve seen. She truly seems to want to learn. So many people make excuses and don’t listen, she was doing the opposite.

As for Matt, he actually seemed pretty torn to me. I have a feeling he still has major feelings for her but is concerned about what it would mean if he got back together with her. I mean for his image, his family, his future kids if they married etc.

It is called being prepped and scripted by lawyers, producers and PR people. Seriously she didn't come up with all that on her own.