How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?

[Anonymous]

OP, if this is you periodically interjecting with "government will never end restrictions" and "I haven't told her her life is over yet"--these are cognitive distortions you're having.

I, myself, know that we're in an increasingly authoritarian situation and that if none of our checks and balances prove capable of function, we're headed for fascism or failed statehood or both. It is going to suck very badly, for quite some time, for me and people in my community.

I can give you a laundry list of reasons why I know this and we can agree or not. The point is that my knowing this is totally unrelated to how I deal with my 5 year old's feelings about coronavirus.

My trauma isn't coloring my reaction as much, right now, so I can honestly say to my kid: as people, we will get through it. As a family, we'll get through it.

That is what your kid needs to hear from you. *Any message far off of this is you inflicting trauma on her.*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Haven't you been discussing it all along. Sounds like its a parenting issue.

She's 6. Explaining that her life is over is kinda tough, O Super Parent.

Her life is over?

Her life as she knew it. Try to follow along.

Well, no life as she knew it isn’t over....She is 6 years old! Yes, life is a little different, but so far from over. OP you need to improvise and try to relax a little bit. If you and your daughter aren’t high risk you really need to just go with the flow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are paranoid. There is very little enforcement of quarantine and outdoor masking restrictions. Honestly sounds like you are less worried about the virus and more worried about government encroachment on lives during a public health crisis. Move to Georgia if you don’t like it—no worries about masks there and lots of stuff open.

You're right. I didn't want to say this because it's not really relevant, but lots of therapy (EMDR) after years of violent sexual abuse means I don't worry much about the virus, but I do still panic when I'm forced to do things. And without getting into details, I'll just say as someone with CI's, my ex used face coverings as part of his abuse. I can personally wear one, but I can't see everyone else doing it. I'm back in therapy, but even the psych admits this is just a really bad thing for me.

So DH takes DD to do things. But there's still lots I and we can't do. And likely won't be able to. So maybe don't judge and make Georgia jokes if you don't know the whole story.

I'm sorry for what you went through but it doesn't give you the right to tell part of a story and get mad at someone who responds without knowing facts that you didn't provide and they would have no way of knowing. For what it's worth, I still think you're going to mess up your daughter with your attitude, so it's good that your husband is at least giving her as normal of a life as someone can have right now. Since you're back in therapy I hope your therapist can help you address this with your daughter. And maybe stop posting on an anonymous website if you are going to get triggered by people saying things. Obviously not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are paranoid. There is very little enforcement of quarantine and outdoor masking restrictions. Honestly sounds like you are less worried about the virus and more worried about government encroachment on lives during a public health crisis. Move to Georgia if you don’t like it—no worries about masks there and lots of stuff open.

You're right. I didn't want to say this because it's not really relevant, but lots of therapy (EMDR) after years of violent sexual abuse means I don't worry much about the virus, but I do still panic when I'm forced to do things. And without getting into details, I'll just say as someone with CI's, my ex used face coverings as part of his abuse. I can personally wear one, but I can't see everyone else doing it. I'm back in therapy, but even the psych admits this is just a really bad thing for me.

So DH takes DD to do things. But there's still lots I and we can't do. And likely won't be able to. So maybe don't judge and make Georgia jokes if you don't know the whole story.

Not relevant? Seriously? Read the rest of your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Haven't you been discussing it all along. Sounds like its a parenting issue.

She's 6. Explaining that her life is over is kinda tough, O Super Parent.

Her life is over?

Her life as she knew it. Try to follow along.

No it isn't. What the heck?? A six year old has probably only been in ''school'' for less than 2 years anyway (I know you're OP).

Yes, and she cries every night because she's not going back next month, while I lie and say it won't be much longer. You

Tell her it will likely be a year. Deal. Can no one cope? Geez.

[Anonymous]

You focus on the good-(ie more family time, less traffic, more reading time), you find the helpers, you find a way to be a helper, you talk about being sad, and you carry on. Daniel tiger and mr Rogers have great episodes on this: re: look for the helpers. Yes, we will get back to ‘normal’ Eventually.

I also strongly echo the suggestion that you get therapy op. if you work on processing these feeling early you may be able to get a handle on them before you spin out and become a real liability for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are paranoid. There is very little enforcement of quarantine and outdoor masking restrictions. Honestly sounds like you are less worried about the virus and more worried about government encroachment on lives during a public health crisis. Move to Georgia if you don’t like it—no worries about masks there and lots of stuff open.

You're right. I didn't want to say this because it's not really relevant, but lots of therapy (EMDR) after years of violent sexual abuse means I don't worry much about the virus, but I do still panic when I'm forced to do things. And without getting into details, I'll just say as someone with CI's, my ex used face coverings as part of his abuse. I can personally wear one, but I can't see everyone else doing it. I'm back in therapy, but even the psych admits this is just a really bad thing for me.

So DH takes DD to do things. But there's still lots I and we can't do. And likely won't be able to. So maybe don't judge and make Georgia jokes if you don't know the whole story.

Not relevant? Seriously? Read the rest of your post.

No, it's not, but I felt the need to defend myself when someone told me to move to Georgia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, you don’t know anyone who isn’t following strict precautions? I must know a bunch of rebels. I’m not condoning it, but you would be shocked at how many people are just going about like it was the summer of 2019.

I don't have local friends, so I'm not 100% sure what people are doing. My friends on social media are in hardcore lockdown mode, yes. And stores are becoming more restrictive with mask mandates and such. So...yeah. From where I sit, things are getting more restrictive.

Move to Georgia or Florida, hon! people are throwing boating and luxury house parties and wear a mask to Costco bcs they have to, but eat in restaurants without masks. They one one of the reasons we can't get back to "normal." Maybe go on a walk. I am imagining that poor child locked up inside since March, which is truly child abuse!

She hasn't been locked up since March, stop reading things that aren't there. A PP hit on the fact I'm not worried about the virus.

You need to step away from the computer now, OP. Like RIGHT NOW. Your original post had nothing to do with your issues wearing masks (or having other people wear masks). You obviously have a lot of issues going on, and you are spiraling into a deep, deep abyss right now. Anyone who can read your posts can see that. You need to find some friends IN REAL LIFE and stop living on the internet. What people post on social media IS NOT REAL LIFE. Have you not figured that out yet? I know people posting about being cautious and staying home who are also engaging in very risky behavior that they somehow don't post about on social media. You need to shut down your computer and talk to your therapist. You are spiraling.

[Anonymous]

Did anyone check with Jeff if this is a troll? Sounds like one of the right wingers that is trying to prove some point.

[Anonymous]

Not to minimize your anxiety, but how about people living in poverty, living with a disability, living with a chronic disease, living with no family or friends, Try and put things into perspective, we are all going through the same situation. We are trying to cope and focus on the positives.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like a mental case. Let them see their grandparents for goodness sake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone check with Jeff if this is a troll? Sounds like one of the right wingers that is trying to prove some point.

I reported it when it was only like 3 pages long. I actually think this may be real, and unfortunately OP is suffering from severe mental health issues. I hope her therapist really puts in the effort because OP is spiraling more and more with each post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So... mine is 6 too. We talk about it a lot, but in a certain way. Factual but light...we set the tone, they adopt it. "yeah this might be one really weird school year! but one out of life isnt that bad right? at least we get to hang out!" "Its so awesome we have zoom to talk to grandpa during the germ problem, imagine if we didnt!" and I tell them we do not know if a vaccine will come for years, but, the scientists are working and will probably find some good treatments and things will ease up in a year. We have sprinkled these comments throughout the last few months adn it has helped. At first they thought it would be better by summer, but now they know its taking longer and we all just float on.

Problem is, DH is telling her we can go see people next summer without masks. This is super irresponsible since we all know the restrictions won't ever be lifted, but I'm the one who'll get to comfort a crying child when she finds out he lied, so what does he care?

Also, I refuse to lie about virtual interaction being healthy, so that's been tough.

You acknowledge that virtual interaction isn't healthy, yet you state that your only friends are on social media and you are clearly responsible for maybe half the posts in this thread? You're being hypocritical.

[Anonymous]

She will get used to the new normal.

[Anonymous]

Dramatic much?