How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?

[Anonymous]

DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

[Anonymous]

My college students feel the same way. I don’t have the heart to break it to them.

[Anonymous]

It won’t ever go back? Are you this dramatic in real life? Life will eventually go back to normal. That’s how you explain it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It won’t ever go back? Are you this dramatic in real life? Life will eventually go back to normal. That’s how you explain it.

Odd that you've never heard the term "new normal" over the past few months. Is your hearing always this selective?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

I would not tell her directly unless she asks directly. I think her thinking/expectations will evolve slowly over time.

[Anonymous]

Huh? Haven't you been discussing it all along. Sounds like its a parenting issue.

[Anonymous]

Why would you do this? A six year old has limited understanding of time. Sounds like you are expecting her to make some mature acceptance which is unfair. This is not forever; we will distance and wear masks as long as the infection continues to be community acquired. They are working on vaccines which will help. Sounds like you want to upset her, to put adult problems on her shoulders. No reason to increase any anxiety she has; you’re her mom, it’s your job to make her life better not worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Haven't you been discussing it all along. Sounds like its a parenting issue.

She's 6. Explaining that her life is over is kinda tough, O Super Parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you do this? A six year old has limited understanding of time. Sounds like you are expecting her to make some mature acceptance which is unfair. This is not forever; we will distance and wear masks as long as the infection continues to be community acquired. They are working on vaccines which will help. Sounds like you want to upset her, to put adult problems on her shoulders. No reason to increase any anxiety she has; you’re her mom, it’s your job to make her life better not worse.

Excuse me? I said I haven't brought this up for exactly the reasons you stated - but at some point, she'll need to know the life she knew is gone and isn't coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

I would not tell her directly unless she asks directly. I think her thinking/expectations will evolve slowly over time.

What do I say if she asks? Is there anything that can soften the blow? She's a happy kid, but I'm pretty sure that's because she still has hope.

[Anonymous]

So... mine is 6 too. We talk about it a lot, but in a certain way. Factual but light...we set the tone, they adopt it. "yeah this might be one really weird school year! but one out of life isnt that bad right? at least we get to hang out!" "Its so awesome we have zoom to talk to grandpa during the germ problem, imagine if we didnt!" and I tell them we do not know if a vaccine will come for years, but, the scientists are working and will probably find some good treatments and things will ease up in a year. We have sprinkled these comments throughout the last few months adn it has helped. At first they thought it would be better by summer, but now they know its taking longer and we all just float on.

[Anonymous]

Kids are resilient and will deal with it, just like we will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So... mine is 6 too. We talk about it a lot, but in a certain way. Factual but light...we set the tone, they adopt it. "yeah this might be one really weird school year! but one out of life isnt that bad right? at least we get to hang out!" "Its so awesome we have zoom to talk to grandpa during the germ problem, imagine if we didnt!" and I tell them we do not know if a vaccine will come for years, but, the scientists are working and will probably find some good treatments and things will ease up in a year. We have sprinkled these comments throughout the last few months adn it has helped. At first they thought it would be better by summer, but now they know its taking longer and we all just float on.

Problem is, DH is telling her we can go see people next summer without masks. This is super irresponsible since we all know the restrictions won't ever be lifted, but I'm the one who'll get to comfort a crying child when she finds out he lied, so what does he care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So... mine is 6 too. We talk about it a lot, but in a certain way. Factual but light...we set the tone, they adopt it. "yeah this might be one really weird school year! but one out of life isnt that bad right? at least we get to hang out!" "Its so awesome we have zoom to talk to grandpa during the germ problem, imagine if we didnt!" and I tell them we do not know if a vaccine will come for years, but, the scientists are working and will probably find some good treatments and things will ease up in a year. We have sprinkled these comments throughout the last few months adn it has helped. At first they thought it would be better by summer, but now they know its taking longer and we all just float on.

Problem is, DH is telling her we can go see people next summer without masks. This is super irresponsible since we all know the restrictions won't ever be lifted, but I'm the one who'll get to comfort a crying child when she finds out he lied, so what does he care?

Also, I refuse to lie about virtual interaction being healthy, so that's been tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are resilient and will deal with it, just like we will.

Hi, this is actually not the case for permanent life changes.