Inheritance debacle. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So you are a great-niece to Thelma and your father is her nephew. And Thelma decided to give a great-niece a $400,000 house and give her own children, who are her closest blood relatives, just $100,000 each.

OP is not just a great-niece, she is Thelma's god-daughter. To some people, that means a lot. My mother has given many valuable things to her god daughter (even paid some college tuition when a scholarship fell through.) God parents are supposed to stand in for the parents if the parents fail or can't help their own children.

Legally, "goddaughter" has no real bearing on this. The law only looks at blood relatives if a person dies without a will and it looks to give the estate to the closest blood relatives. If a will is determined to be no good for whatever reason, the court will divide the estate as though there were no will.

So Larla would be far down the line since Thelma left living children. Even if Mary and Roy hadn't existed, Thelma's sister is alive and also her sister's son, who is Larla's father. Both of Larla's parents are living, so there was no need for Thelma to step in in their place.

The facts about how the will came to be written this way would make a difference here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect there is more to Mary's story than meets the eye. Before you consider evicting her, please find out if she has any type of mental illness that may prevent her from holding down a job. At some point we have to try and help people who are unable to help themselves. Just saying not my problem to a relative who may be incapacitated is cruel.

Say this is true. You're saying OP, a college student with a part time job, should carry this house so her cousin (?) can continue to live there? Sorry, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So you are a great-niece to Thelma and your father is her nephew. And Thelma decided to give a great-niece a $400,000 house and give her own children, who are her closest blood relatives, just $100,000 each.

OP is not just a great-niece, she is Thelma's god-daughter. To some people, that means a lot. My mother has given many valuable things to her god daughter (even paid some college tuition when a scholarship fell through.) God parents are supposed to stand in for the parents if the parents fail or can't help their own children.

Legally, "goddaughter" has no real bearing on this. The law only looks at blood relatives if a person dies without a will and it looks to give the estate to the closest blood relatives. If a will is determined to be no good for whatever reason, the court will divide the estate as though there were no will.

So Larla would be far down the line since Thelma left living children. Even if Mary and Roy hadn't existed, Thelma's sister is alive and also her sister's son, who is Larla's father. Both of Larla's parents are living, so there was no need for Thelma to step in in their place.

The facts about how the will came to be written this way would make a difference here.

If there was no will, then Thelma's assets are split equally between Mary and Roy. Larla gets nothing. However, since there is will which specifies Larla will inherit the house, then Larla will inherit the house. It doesn't matter why Thelma chose to leave the house to Larla and not her children. It only matters that she chose to do so while in sound mind. Thelma had the will drawn up 5 years before she died. She had 5 years to change it and she didn't. Thelma's intent is clear.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

I talked to my grandmother about the whole situation and she feels like it wouldn't be terrible if Mary was made to leave. She explained to me that my godmother left the house to me because she trusted me and she wanted me to have something to start off in life with. I asked if she left me only because she didn't want her daughter to have it my grandmother said it's that is possible to but she knows that my godmother care deeply for me and really wanted me to have that house.

I also asked her about the possibility of Mary having some type of emotional disorder or something and she said that while it is quite possible from the time my cousin was a young child up until she was my age, she very much wanted to be the boss. When she went out to the working world and realized that she wasn't going to be the boss right off the bat, she got upset and wanted to give up. That was the reasoning behind the fact that she left her job that she got with her 1st degree and decided to go back to school to get a separate degree to do something different. It was at that time that she went back into the world to have a job and she didn't like the hustle and bustle of working and struggling to pay bills and put food on the table. It didn't help that the first job she had was with her degree that was in a subject (such as art) where it takes a lot of talent but there isn't a huge market for it all the time.

So because with her 2nd degree, she wasn't making as much money as she wanted to or enough to live the life she wanted to live she move back in with her mother and still worked while living at home to cut down on expenses. After six years in that job she did not get the promotion that she expected to get and she quit her job.

At one point she was leaving to marry a man that she had met but them that relationship fell through so she came back to live with her mother. My grandmother says that my cousin was very convinced of this man's gonna take care of her and she wouldn't have to have a job and she would just be able to be a housewife and when this relationship fell through she was quite devastated. And after that she spent about a year not doing anything at which point she got her self together after that year and went back to work . After another year back in the workforce she still hadn't gone up the ladder and she quit that job too. Since then she has been working as a waitress for the past eight years.

so I don't really know if this is indicative of some type of mental illness. most of the family seems to believe that it's really just her being spoiled and not wanting to accept not being in charge in the workplace.

I don't know what to do at this point, part of me says do you treat her as if she is just a 50 year old child and take care of her and part of me says it's time for her to live her life and move on.

My grandmother also told me that my cousin is going to be very possessive if I try to move in the house and live with her she isn't going to let me change anything such as furniture, paint, appliances etc. she will also expect for me to make sure the houses has everything taken care of such as buying groceries and cleaning. That isn't a problem for me as I buy groceries here at my parents house for the family but I'm not in any place to live with an adult who acts like a petulant child.

I have spent probably a week with her at most at which time she was usually pretty unpleasant... she expects for people to do everything for her much the same with her mother does. She expects her meals to be cooked for her and her bed to be made for her. This was when the family took a trip to a beach house about two years ago and she just kind of acted very ungrateful the entire time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So you are a great-niece to Thelma and your father is her nephew. And Thelma decided to give a great-niece a $400,000 house and give her own children, who are her closest blood relatives, just $100,000 each.

OP is not just a great-niece, she is Thelma's god-daughter. To some people, that means a lot. My mother has given many valuable things to her god daughter (even paid some college tuition when a scholarship fell through.) God parents are supposed to stand in for the parents if the parents fail or can't help their own children.

Legally, "goddaughter" has no real bearing on this. The law only looks at blood relatives if a person dies without a will and it looks to give the estate to the closest blood relatives. If a will is determined to be no good for whatever reason, the court will divide the estate as though there were no will.

So Larla would be far down the line since Thelma left living children. Even if Mary and Roy hadn't existed, Thelma's sister is alive and also her sister's son, who is Larla's father. Both of Larla's parents are living, so there was no need for Thelma to step in in their place.

The facts about how the will came to be written this way would make a difference here.

If there was no will, then Thelma's assets are split equally between Mary and Roy. Larla gets nothing. However, since there is will which specifies Larla will inherit the house, then Larla will inherit the house. It doesn't matter why Thelma chose to leave the house to Larla and not her children. It only matters that she chose to do so while in sound mind. Thelma had the will drawn up 5 years before she died. She had 5 years to change it and she didn't. Thelma's intent is clear.

Yes so it doesn't matter if Thelma left the house to her because she felt that she earned it or because she liked the color of her eyes. It doesn't matter! All that matters now is that the house was left to Lorla and not Mary or Roy. As that is the case they should not feel entitled to anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So you are a great-niece to Thelma and your father is her nephew. And Thelma decided to give a great-niece a $400,000 house and give her own children, who are her closest blood relatives, just $100,000 each.

OP is not just a great-niece, she is Thelma's god-daughter. To some people, that means a lot. My mother has given many valuable things to her god daughter (even paid some college tuition when a scholarship fell through.) God parents are supposed to stand in for the parents if the parents fail or can't help their own children.

Legally, "goddaughter" has no real bearing on this. The law only looks at blood relatives if a person dies without a will and it looks to give the estate to the closest blood relatives. If a will is determined to be no good for whatever reason, the court will divide the estate as though there were no will.

So Larla would be far down the line since Thelma left living children. Even if Mary and Roy hadn't existed, Thelma's sister is alive and also her sister's son, who is Larla's father. Both of Larla's parents are living, so there was no need for Thelma to step in in their place.

The facts about how the will came to be written this way would make a difference here.

If there was no will, then Thelma's assets are split equally between Mary and Roy. Larla gets nothing. However, since there is will which specifies Larla will inherit the house, then Larla will inherit the house. It doesn't matter why Thelma chose to leave the house to Larla and not her children. It only matters that she chose to do so while in sound mind. Thelma had the will drawn up 5 years before she died. She had 5 years to change it and she didn't. Thelma's intent is clear.

We don't really know if, at the time the will was written, Thelma was of sound mind or if she was experiencing undue influence. It is not at all clear that this is a good will.

Did a lawyer write this will? Or did family members help Thelma to write her own will?

It is odd for a sibling to be executor when Thelma's children were adults. It is much more common for the adult children to be executors. Was Thelma having problems getting along with both her children?

[Anonymous]

I don't know. The story just doesn't ring authentic. A 50 year old woman who expects to be waited on hand and foot? Come on. No matter how spoiled Mary was, expecting dear old mom to cook her meals for her? Come on. She was probably cooking for her elderly mom, and doing yard work, and making sure granny took her medicines, shlepping her to all her doctor's appointments, and bathing her if needed, and running up and down the basement stairs to do the laundry for the two of them, and doing the grocery shopping, and cleaning the house, and walking the dog, and keeping her company in the evenings when they sat together watching t.v. Did I forget anything else full time care taking children do for their elderly parents? I don't buy the granny-was-cooking-Mary's-meals-and-making-her-bed story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. The story just doesn't ring authentic. A 50 year old woman who expects to be waited on hand and foot? Come on. No matter how spoiled Mary was, expecting dear old mom to cook her meals for her? Come on. She was probably cooking for her elderly mom, and doing yard work, and making sure granny took her medicines, shlepping her to all her doctor's appointments, and bathing her if needed, and running up and down the basement stairs to do the laundry for the two of them, and doing the grocery shopping, and cleaning the house, and walking the dog, and keeping her company in the evenings when they sat together watching t.v. Did I forget anything else full time care taking children do for their elderly parents? I don't buy the granny-was-cooking-Mary's-meals-and-making-her-bed story.

I agree. And I think that there appears to be some pretty strong hostility from Larla's branch of the family toward Mary. I don't get that.

I also wonder how Larla became so close to her great aunt but says she hardly knows Mary, who was living in the same house with Thelma. How can you spend so much time with an elderly relative but hardly know her own daughter who lives with her?

There's a lot that just doesn't make sense in this story.

[Anonymous]

Op here. From the time I was young I tried to be close to my god sister cousin but we were of different age groups and as I got older she kind of just brushed me off anytime I come to the house. The last time I went to the house before my godmother died (godmother was in perfect health) and we were eating lunch together. I brought something over and I asked my cousin "do you want to eat with us" because I brought more than enough food, and she didn't even reply just walked upstairs and shut the door to her room.

This coldness towards me started before my godmother started showing favors to me over her in fact I wouldn't doubt that's why my godmother offered me things over her. One time my godmother and I were out grocery shopping and she told me "oh I'm just glad you have such a good attitude about things". I took that to mean that my cousin generally does not have the best attitude which is obvious and different things that she does. And no my cousin was not helping my godmother, in fact godmother had to hire someone to help her with the cleaning because my cousin would not.

[Anonymous]

And also you all seem to think that my godmother was old and frail, she wasn't. She was actually very limber and went to activities and meetings and gently had a very active lifestyle up until the end which is why it was so shocking that she died.

[Anonymous]

*generally not gently

[Anonymous]

Larla, did a lawyer write your great-aunt's will? Where was it being kept before she died?

[Anonymous]

People need to cut OP some slack here. I think this is the collective DCUM upper middle classness coming out to pile on this woman bc they could not imagine their parents disinheriting them. it happens all the time. Thelma has every right to leave her property to whom she wants and Larla is not at fault. End of story. Get a lawyer OP and don't give in to Mary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People need to cut OP some slack here. I think this is the collective DCUM upper middle classness coming out to pile on this woman bc they could not imagine their parents disinheriting them. it happens all the time. Thelma has every right to leave her property to whom she wants and Larla is not at fault. End of story. Get a lawyer OP and don't give in to Mary.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Mary is a 50 yr old woman who has spent the last 8 years as a waitress. At this point, given her age, it's unlikely she'll break out of that job. Even with $100k as a down on her own place, life on a waitress' salary is going to be hard. Yes, OP deserves some slack, and Mary messed up her life by herself, but that doesn't mean some empathy isn't warranted.