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[quote=Anonymous]Op here.

I talked to my grandmother about the whole situation and she feels like it wouldn't be terrible if Mary was made to leave.   She explained to me that my godmother left the house to me because she trusted me and she wanted me to have something to start off in life with. I asked if she left me only because she didn't want her daughter to have it my grandmother said it's that is possible to but she knows that my godmother care deeply for me and really wanted me to have that house.

I also asked her about the possibility of Mary having some type of emotional disorder or something and she said that while it is quite possible from the time my cousin was a young child up until she was my age, she very much wanted to be the boss. When she went out to the working world and realized that she wasn't going to be the boss right off the bat, she got upset and wanted to give up. That was the reasoning behind the fact that she left her job that she got with her 1st degree and decided to go back to school to get a separate degree to do something different.  It was at that time that she went back into the world to have a job and she didn't like the hustle and bustle of working and struggling to pay bills and put food on the table.  It didn't help that the first job she had was with her degree that was in a subject (such as art) where it takes a lot of talent but there isn't a huge market for it all the time.

So because with her 2nd degree,  she wasn't making as much money as she wanted to or enough to live the life she wanted to live she move back in with her mother and still worked while living at home to cut down on expenses.  After six years in that job she did not get the promotion that she expected to get and she quit her job.

At one point she was leaving to marry a man that she had met but them that relationship fell through so she came back to live with her mother.  My grandmother says that my cousin was very convinced of this man's gonna take care of her and she wouldn't have to have a job and she would just be able to be a housewife and when this relationship fell through she was quite devastated.  And after that she spent about a year not doing anything at which point she got her self together after that year and went back to work .  After another year back in the workforce she still hadn't gone up the ladder and she quit  that job too.  Since then she has been working as a waitress for the past eight years.

so I don't really know if this is indicative of some type of mental illness.  most of the family seems to believe that it's really just her being spoiled and not wanting to accept not being in charge in the workplace.

I don't know what to do at this point, part of me says do you treat her as if she is just a 50 year old child and take care of her and part of me says it's time for her to live her life and move on.

My grandmother also told me that my cousin is going to be very possessive if I try to move in the house and live with her she isn't going to let me change anything such as furniture, paint, appliances etc.  she will also expect for me to make sure the houses has everything taken care of such as buying groceries and cleaning.  That isn't a problem for me as I buy groceries here at my parents house for the family but I'm not in any place to live with an adult who acts like a petulant child.

I have spent probably a week with her at most at which time she was usually pretty unpleasant... she expects for people to do everything for her much the same with her mother does. She expects her meals to be cooked for her and her bed to be made for her.  This was when the family took a trip to a beach house about two years ago and she just kind of acted very ungrateful the entire time.

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