Inheritance debacle. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Don't do that.

If Mary and her brother don't already feel like they should see a lawyer, you're not taking advantage of them. They're adults and can figure it out for themselves. If you suggest an attorney or even let them know you'received seeing one, you risk inflaming an already tense situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do that.

If Mary and her brother don't already feel like they should see a lawyer, you're not taking advantage of them. They're adults and can figure it out for themselves. If you suggest an attorney or even let them know you'received seeing one, you risk inflaming an already tense situation.

+1 The reason the see a lawyer is not to be antagonistic or demanding. It's because owning a house and being a landlord come with responsibilities that are governed by state and local laws, and OP needs to be aware of those. For all she knows, Mary and Roy will be seeing lawyers, too. Mary and Roy are also much older than Larla, so if anyone is going to be taking advantage, it would likely be them. It's pretty obvious this whole thing is a bit overwhelming for Larla.

[Anonymous]

OP, see an attorney. Inform Mary that you intend to sell the house. Use the proceeds to help you finish school, pay for your lodging and start your life.

Mary is 50, not 105, she can figure out her life and she has $100k to start out with which is more than most people have. She will be alright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted a couple of times before recommending that you see a lawyer. I still think you should see a lawyer *before* you meet with your cousin, so you are fully aware of all your rights and responsibilities, otherwise you may be making decisions that may come back to bite you. It's best for you to know all of the possibilities and consequences before you make any concessions or promises to Mary. If you have to meet with her first, don't make any promises; just hear her out. Good luck.

It would be a good idea to let Mary and Roy know that it would be a good idea for them to talk to a lawyer, just to make sure everyone in the family can see that you are not trying to take advantage of the situation. Mary and Roy should have their own lawyer and you should have your own lawyer, so that all the parties have someone looking out for them in a legal sense.

And Roy should be at the meeting with you and Mary, also. He is also affected by the wil.

Has anyone talked to the lawyer who wrote the will? The lawyer might be able to shed light on what was behind the idea of leaving the house to someone other than her own children.

Mary and Roy will continue to be your family, so it's important to treat them right. Think how you will feel twenty years from now if you have any concerns at all that Mary and Roy have not been treated fairly. I think if you lay your cards on the table with them and let them know that you will be seeing a lawyer and they might want to do the same, you can feel good about your actions.

[Anonymous]

Roy really shouldn't be a concern here, he's an adult to with his own house and his own life. He's not at risk of becoming homeless based on what you do.

[Anonymous]

Roy is involved because he and Mary appear to be the only living children of Thelma. If the will is challenged and found to be defective, then Thelma's assets will be distributed as though she had died intestate, or without a will.

So in that possibility, if Roy and Mary are the only living children of Thelma, her estate will be divided equally between the two of them. The presumption in the law is that the decedent intended for both personal and real property to pass to immediate family and then to next closest blood relatives if there is no immediate family.

If I were a law student and this were a hypothetical in my estates and trusts class, I'd be asking a lot of questions about the circumstances surrounding the writing of this will. I'd want to know if the lawyer who wrote the will had notes from meeting with Thelma and whether she mentioned any specific reason for leaving her family home to a more distant relative and leaving less money to her immediate family members. I'd wonder if anyone had been with Thelma when she went to the lawyer to write the will. I'd even wonder if a lawyer had been involved at all and if maybe this was one of those situations where someone printed a fill in the blank will off the internet.

The answers to those questions would determine whether I'd advise Mary and Roy to challenge the will. In this situation, I'd suggest to Mary and Roy that they should see a lawyer who does this for a living to find out if they have reason to challenge the will.

[Anonymous]

They don't have the right to contest the will. Do you honestly think the thermostat down and wrote out I'm not leaving the house to my daughter because she's a little shit ? No most likely she just did it because she knows that her daughter hasn't done anything with her life for this whole time. for all the posters who want a reason as to why Thelma left the house to Larla instead of Mary this is your reason it's because she was tired of funding her daughter. She probably realized that it was time for her daughter to live her own life and she was done footing the bill for her daughter, who most likely is not mentally ill . You guys are going way out of your way to find a reason why Mary should get to stay in this house where as if this was a poster saying that her daughter was 50 years old and still living in her house and mooching off of her you would be telling her to kick her out so I'm not sure why there's this weird dichotomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: They don't have the right to contest the will. Do you honestly think the thermostat down and wrote out I'm not leaving the house to my daughter because she's a little shit ? No most likely she just did it because she knows that her daughter hasn't done anything with her life for this whole time. for all the posters who want a reason as to why Thelma left the house to Larla instead of Mary this is your reason it's because she was tired of funding her daughter. She probably realized that it was time for her daughter to live her own life and she was done footing the bill for her daughter, who most likely is not mentally ill . You guys are going way out of your way to find a reason why Mary should get to stay in this house where as if this was a poster saying that her daughter was 50 years old and still living in her house and mooching off of her you would be telling her to kick her out so I'm not sure why there's this weird dichotomy.

They may have no legal basis, but they absolutely have a right to sue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: They don't have the right to contest the will. Do you honestly think the thermostat down and wrote out I'm not leaving the house to my daughter because she's a little shit ? No most likely she just did it because she knows that her daughter hasn't done anything with her life for this whole time. for all the posters who want a reason as to why Thelma left the house to Larla instead of Mary this is your reason it's because she was tired of funding her daughter. She probably realized that it was time for her daughter to live her own life and she was done footing the bill for her daughter, who most likely is not mentally ill . You guys are going way out of your way to find a reason why Mary should get to stay in this house where as if this was a poster saying that her daughter was 50 years old and still living in her house and mooching off of her you would be telling her to kick her out so I'm not sure why there's this weird dichotomy.

They may have no legal basis, but they absolutely have a right to sue.

And we who are reading this thread really have no idea whether they have a legal basis or not. The OP (and any other family members who may be posting) has never answered questions about the circumstances surrounding the writing of this will. So it would be worth it for Mary and Roy to at least get some questions answered.

[Anonymous]

The only thing that is clear to me from reading this is that Thelma did this out of spite to her daughter, with whom she had a very ambivalent relationship. It's a punishment.

Everyone living -- including Larla -- is going to have to deal with the shitty karma of this decision.

It is not a meaningless thing to put a 50 year old woman on the street. I think you (Larla) need to talk with a lot of other objective people (lawyers, counselors, any elders in your family who you trust and who knew both parties well), not just people on DCUM, and possibly get a mediator to sit in on your conversation with Mary.

[Anonymous]

We don't know enough about Mary. Even if she has been working some of the time, what has she done with her earned money? She probably wasn't paying much rent. She may have very healthy savings, but even if she doesn't, with the 100K her mother left her, she has a good amount of money to put a downpayment on a house of her own, and it some places, that would buy you the home outright. She won't be on the street. It seems she's been avoiding adult responsibilities, but she shouldn't be Larla's responsibility now. If anything, Roy should step up to deal with his sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So you are a great-niece to Thelma and your father is her nephew. And Thelma decided to give a great-niece a $400,000 house and give her own children, who are her closest blood relatives, just $100,000 each.

OP is not just a great-niece, she is Thelma's god-daughter. To some people, that means a lot. My mother has given many valuable things to her god daughter (even paid some college tuition when a scholarship fell through.) God parents are supposed to stand in for the parents if the parents fail or can't help their own children.

[Anonymous]

You should sell the house and split the proceeds 3 ways for you, Mary, and Roy. Talk to them first.

You need to think about the future. If you move in and have Mary move out, imagine how bad you'll feel if in 5 years she's living in a trailer, on welfare and poor. Plus the whole extended family will hate you and always wonder if you tricked your great aunt. This inheritance is more of a curse, now you're stuck with guilt forever if you aren't generous with Mary and roy

[Anonymous]

Stop with guilting Larla. Mary has two degrees, paid for by her parents. If she's stuck in a trailer, she has only herself to blame. Roy may be living in a McMansion and have rental properties.

[Anonymous]

I see the following options:
1) charge Mary rent with a signed lease and don't move in
2) sell - you can offer it to Mary first, if she doesn't want it sell it. You can even finance it if you want.
3) move in. Tell Mary what rooms you will want and start to make it your home, she may not like it and move out or not
4) leave things as they are but make sure that water and tax bills ar paid and the house doesn't fall into disary.