Ladies, would you settle down with a man who wants to be a SAHD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHD, and I have to say that I think my wife loved the idea at the time, and still loves a lot about it, but it has created some strain in our marriage. She won't admit it, but I honestly think she has lost respect for me because of it. That hurts a lot, as it was a mutual decision we made for me to stay home. We have talked about me trying to return to work, but with two small children, I (and she says it as well) believe having a parent home is the best option. I guess maybe not if it hurts the marital relationship though ... That's an aspect to this that I haven't seen anyone mention. And yes, I don't look forward to trying to explain my career gap to potential employers, who I assume will look at that gap much differently for a man than for a woman.

I think it's a lot if time the wife just wants to be the one who stays home and they get very upset about being the bread winner. Let's face it, most women value men only in what they bring in in terms of money to the relationship and feel that men should be excluded from any child raising. They will still complain that the husband does not pull his weight, but would never let him do childcare(a man could never do that). It the whole Disney prince fantasy thing.

I am the poster from 10:12 that was quoted first here. I don't know that my wife ever wanted to stay home, but I do wonder whether there is some jealousy or resentment over how much I get to do with the kids and how they respond to me. But to be clear, as the one at home I am also the bad guy who more often tells them no, puts a stop to certain behavior, has to scold them, etc.

She's probably jealous. My spouse is an excellent SAHD but I'm definitely jealous, and as the years have passed (and he hasn't worked/my income has grown) it would be even less feasible for us to swap. It's not even so much that I want to be a SAHM but it does make me sad to feel I am missing things that he isn't.