Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it's funny that, evidently, if a child disregards an adult's wishes to be called Firstname, and insists on calling the adult Mr. Lastname, then this is somehow an example of the child showing respect for the adult and adult authority.

No they show respect for adults but respect for MY authority. Otherwise you set your kids up to be victims of predators who target them as being easily manipulated and thinking they have to follow and listen to what every single adult says.

Your kid: Hi, Ms. Jones.
Adult: Please call me Martha.
Your kid: No, Mrs. Jones, I'm not allowed to. If I call you what you want to be called, that makes me more of a target for predators.

Yes that's exactly how it plays out. I don't engage with reductive, base posters like you who play dumb.

[Anonymous]

DH's nephews have been trained to do this. It sounds forced.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who suspects a correlation between people who want to be called by their first names and those who dislike thank you notes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who suspects a correlation between people who want to be called by their first names and those who dislike thank you notes?

Yes, probably. They're two different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it's funny that, evidently, if a child disregards an adult's wishes to be called Firstname, and insists on calling the adult Mr. Lastname, then this is somehow an example of the child showing respect for the adult and adult authority.

No they show respect for adults but respect for MY authority. Otherwise you set your kids up to be victims of predators who target them as being easily manipulated and thinking they have to follow and listen to what every single adult says.

Your kid: Hi, Ms. Jones.
Adult: Please call me Martha.
Your kid: No, Mrs. Jones, I'm not allowed to. If I call you what you want to be called, that makes me more of a target for predators.

Yes that's exactly how it plays out. I don't engage with reductive, base posters like you who play dumb.

I really don't know how else it would play out, if an adult specifically asks your child to call the adult by their first name, and you have told your child that your child must call the adult by their last name no matter what the adult says.

[Anonymous]

My child had better not call either me or anyone else "m'aam."

[Anonymous]

I don't ask the kid to call adults by their last name. If Martha prefers Martha I am fine with that bit my kids will say Miss or Ms Martha. I don't insist on a formal Mrs Jones but Miss Martha is not negotiable. No adult has ever fought me on that. Ever. No one has ever gotten up and insisted I AM JUST MARTHA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child had better not call either me or anyone else "m'aam."

And mine had better not neglect to. Different strokes.

My daughter once replied "Yes ma'am" to a cashier who asked her a question and the woman told me "you rarely hear kids with those manners anymore. Good job." You can be opposed to them for whatever reason you have but people like to hear a child with manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't ask the kid to call adults by their last name. If Martha prefers Martha I am fine with that bit my kids will say Miss or Ms Martha. I don't insist on a formal Mrs Jones but Miss Martha is not negotiable. No adult has ever fought me on that. Ever. No one has ever gotten up and insisted I AM JUST MARTHA.

OK, then evidently we're meeting different people. Because there really are people who mean what they say when they say, "Please call me by my first name."

And then there is the issue of how come an adult has to fight somebody just to be called what they have asked to be called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child had better not call either me or anyone else "m'aam."

And mine had better not neglect to. Different strokes.

My daughter once replied "Yes ma'am" to a cashier who asked her a question and the woman told me "you rarely hear kids with those manners anymore. Good job." You can be opposed to them for whatever reason you have but people like to hear a child with manners.

There is no such thing as abstract "manners". Manners are context-dependent. In some places, it's considered good manners to say, "yes, ma'am". In other places, it's not. The cashier is correct ("kids with those manners"), you are not ("a child with manners").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't ask the kid to call adults by their last name. If Martha prefers Martha I am fine with that bit my kids will say Miss or Ms Martha. I don't insist on a formal Mrs Jones but Miss Martha is not negotiable. No adult has ever fought me on that. Ever. No one has ever gotten up and insisted I AM JUST MARTHA.

OK, then evidently we're meeting different people. Because there really are people who mean what they say when they say, "Please call me by my first name."

And then there is the issue of how come an adult has to fight somebody just to be called what they have asked to be called.

Yes, we must be. If I tell my 6 year old "This is Mr Bill," I've never had Bill address my 6 year old and say JUST CALL ME BILL. 99/% of the time my kid never even needs to actually address Bill after the initial introduction.

[Anonymous]

11 pages on this topic and yes I read them all because it was like watching a train wreck.

How has DC possibly gone 11 years and never had this problem at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm from ny. My kid can find other ways to show her respect to me. I wouldn't allow it.

I'm from NY too and we say it there (well at least in the black neighborhoods but I guess that is due to the southern influence from the great migration. You would not allow your kids to say yes, sir? Okay, I 'm not sure why it would be the biggest deal in the world.

[Anonymous]

had to laugh at PP's description of ''Eddie Haskell-ish'...yep, that well describes what bugs me about hearing the 'mam and sirs' from kids...
one relative from the south has her children say this, and her pre-teen son interjected "yes, mam" in every single sentence. Sounded very
fake and formal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it's funny that, evidently, if a child disregards an adult's wishes to be called Firstname, and insists on calling the adult Mr. Lastname, then this is somehow an example of the child showing respect for the adult and adult authority.

No they show respect for adults but respect for MY authority. Otherwise you set your kids up to be victims of predators who target them as being easily manipulated and thinking they have to follow and listen to what every single adult says.

Your kid: Hi, Ms. Jones.
Adult: Please call me Martha.
Your kid: No, Mrs. Jones, I'm not allowed to. If I call you what you want to be called, that makes me more of a target for predators.

Yes that's exactly how it plays out. I don't engage with reductive, base posters like you who play dumb.

I really don't know how else it would play out, if an adult specifically asks your child to call the adult by their first name, and you have told your child that your child must call the adult by their last name no matter what the adult says.

Once again, an adult making everything about himself or herself. Get over it.