IL's in my house during my hospital stay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They can stay at my house. I will send over my pos MIL.

Have fun losing your privacy!

I have a hidden safe. You should try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't consider that type of stuff helpful, either! Controlling and nosy.

Does it have to be either/ or?

Why does it have to be controlling or nosy? Can't it just be misguided? I trust those on this board that jump to the "controlling, no boundaries, MIL MUST have NPD" knee jerk response aren't as drama free as they would like to assume about themselves too.

It helps to assume, until given plenty of evidence otherwise, that your DH's family has best intentions. Now if those intentions make you uncomfy, a little chat could help but it doesn't need to be some giant dramatic production. Just let them know you sort of have grown up a different way and its not something you really care for but be thankful that they thought of you in that way to help.

Who said anything about NPD? Why are you projecting?

[Anonymous]

IL's can't help it. If it doesn't REALLY matter, let it go. IN other words, label the frozen food you want, and let everything else go. Admire the good things about them and laugh about the rest with your husband. IT is kinda funny...

They are managing their own stress and anxiety. It has nothing to do with you. You'll get your house back soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IL's can't help it. If it doesn't REALLY matter, let it go. IN other words, label the frozen food you want, and let everything else go. Admire the good things about them and laugh about the rest with your husband. IT is kinda funny...

They are managing their own stress and anxiety. It has nothing to do with you. You'll get your house back soon enough.

The food is the least of it, IMO. It's the snooping in closets and cabinets!

[Anonymous]

I just don't understand how organizing and cleaning another family member's house without being asked is "helpful" in any way. It's intrusive to me. I don't clean my 7 year old daughter's room...that's her responsibility and space that she is in charge of maintaining.

When I was a 16 year old neighborhood babysitter, I would voluntarily clean, thinking I was being helpful. Ugh, I cannot imagine doing that now...

[Anonymous]

When I babysat as a teen I once took it upon myself to do some cleaning of house. That was because there was moldy food, sour milk, dirty urine soaked clothes and sheets laying around in plain view.

I was responsible for those kids and I tidied up the common rooms (living/dining/kitchen) and I made sure they had dry sheets on their beds. No way would I have poked my nose in their cabinets/closets/drawers. That is not and never has been my style. But if there are hazards laying around in plain view - Hell, yes, I would clean that up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I babysat as a teen I once took it upon myself to do some cleaning of house. That was because there was moldy food, sour milk, dirty urine soaked clothes and sheets laying around in plain view.

I was responsible for those kids and I tidied up the common rooms (living/dining/kitchen) and I made sure they had dry sheets on their beds. No way would I have poked my nose in their cabinets/closets/drawers. That is not and never has been my style. But if there are hazards laying around in plain view - Hell, yes, I would clean that up.

Learn to read. OP said everything was already clean and organized. Your response is laughably irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I babysat as a teen I once took it upon myself to do some cleaning of house. That was because there was moldy food, sour milk, dirty urine soaked clothes and sheets laying around in plain view.

I was responsible for those kids and I tidied up the common rooms (living/dining/kitchen) and I made sure they had dry sheets on their beds. No way would I have poked my nose in their cabinets/closets/drawers. That is not and never has been my style. But if there are hazards laying around in plain view - Hell, yes, I would clean that up.

Learn to read. OP said everything was already clean and organized. Your response is laughably irrelevant.

The point is - the Op's house clearly did not need to be picked up and organized like that. Her in-laws walked into a clean and orderly house and basically got into the Op's stuff for no good reason.

There are times when it is absolutely appropriate and necessary to clean another person's house (my example) but even then you do not go into another person's dressers/cabinets/closets. That would be uncalled for and intrusive even if the house is messy.

[Anonymous]

I would not do any housecleaning or baby laundry before they arrive. This time around you are pregnant and have a toddler.

Also, they may do less this time since they will be chasing that toddler around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:eh, you don't go through and "organize" other people's closets and medicine cabinets. And it's strange to rewash and reorganize a carefully put together baby's room.

At some point you cross the line into being intrusive....and, yes, nosy. That line can vary from person to person.

In general, guests/sitters/even MILs do not go through their host's things. If they need something they ask for it.

+1. Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not do any housecleaning or baby laundry before they arrive. This time around you are pregnant and have a toddler.

Also, they may do less this time since they will be chasing that toddler around.

OP seems like a clean, organized person by nature. She also likely has at least some pregnancy-related "nesting instinct" going on. Why should she change who she is and be miserable in messiness/disorganization just to satisfy her nosy, overbearing in-laws? I'm a clean person by nature, and having disarray in the days before a baby is due would be very stressful for me. Why should OP be stressed and go against her nature just because they can't control themselves in someone else's home?