IL's in my house during my hospital stay

[Anonymous]

If they're watching your child(ren) then leave them some spending $ and suggest activities they can take the kid(s) to, movies, bowling, roller skating, indoor kids play area.

[Anonymous]

None of these things are even slightly bothersome other than the food one. YOU sound controlling, OP. This is the help you get. Say honestly what you don't want touched - fridge, baby closet, whatever - and be grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you have great in-laws. I wish I had that kind of help! Here's what I would do:

Set up a couple projects that you need completed for them to work on. If you own a home, surely there's something you've been meaning to do but just haven't gotten to. Or create something - give her a linen closet to organize or ask her to make some dishes to freeze. Ask him to put together a piece of furniture or fix something in the garage, etc.

And if there's something in the fridge you don't want touched, then label it so MIL knows to leave it alone.

The not wanting her to enter your bedroom thing is sort of weird to me. This woman is in your home caring for your child.

Seriously? OP knows this woman is in her home, caring for her child. So the woman should be caring for child, not touching OP's made bed and going through her closets. I would *never* enter an adult's bedroom without their express knowledge. Boundaries!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you have great in-laws. I wish I had that kind of help! Here's what I would do:

Set up a couple projects that you need completed for them to work on. If you own a home, surely there's something you've been meaning to do but just haven't gotten to. Or create something - give her a linen closet to organize or ask her to make some dishes to freeze. Ask him to put together a piece of furniture or fix something in the garage, etc.

And if there's something in the fridge you don't want touched, then label it so MIL knows to leave it alone.

The not wanting her to enter your bedroom thing is sort of weird to me. This woman is in your home caring for your child.

Seriously? OP knows this woman is in her home, caring for her child. So the woman should be caring for child, not touching OP's made bed and going through her closets. I would *never* enter an adult's bedroom without their express knowledge. Boundaries!

She CHANGED THEIR FREAKING SHEETS, didn't rifle through the closet and damage stuff. Good lord, you people have no souls.

[Anonymous]

Of all the things you mentioned,I'm trying to figure the heck out what in the world you did not want done. Bottom line, they re-cleaned what was already clean. Sounds like a win-win to me. Things do not stay clean, so to me that would mean it will be a lot longer before I had to clean again. Let them change the sheets on my bed. Honestly, you do not have a problem. this time hide your vibrator and you have nothing to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of these things are even slightly bothersome other than the food one. YOU sound controlling, OP. This is the help you get. Say honestly what you don't want touched - fridge, baby closet, whatever - and be grateful.

OP said twice she IS grateful. OP also said she's genuinely seeking strategies for avoiding any problems, so it's not like she hates her ILs and just wants to control them. How is it "controlling" to not want people to clean/organize shit unnecessarily, and to not throw out perfectly good food. YOU sound ridiculous, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you have great in-laws. I wish I had that kind of help! Here's what I would do:

Set up a couple projects that you need completed for them to work on. If you own a home, surely there's something you've been meaning to do but just haven't gotten to. Or create something - give her a linen closet to organize or ask her to make some dishes to freeze. Ask him to put together a piece of furniture or fix something in the garage, etc.

And if there's something in the fridge you don't want touched, then label it so MIL knows to leave it alone.

The not wanting her to enter your bedroom thing is sort of weird to me. This woman is in your home caring for your child.

Seriously? OP knows this woman is in her home, caring for her child. So the woman should be caring for child, not touching OP's made bed and going through her closets. I would *never* enter an adult's bedroom without their express knowledge. Boundaries!

She CHANGED THEIR FREAKING SHEETS, didn't rifle through the closet and damage stuff. Good lord, you people have no souls.

Did you not read the original post? The MIL *did go through their closets* and cleaned and reorganized stuff unnecessarily. MIL sounds snoopy and controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of these things are even slightly bothersome other than the food one. YOU sound controlling, OP. This is the help you get. Say honestly what you don't want touched - fridge, baby closet, whatever - and be grateful.

OP said twice she IS grateful. OP also said she's genuinely seeking strategies for avoiding any problems, so it's not like she hates her ILs and just wants to control them. How is it "controlling" to not want people to clean/organize shit unnecessarily, and to not throw out perfectly good food. YOU sound ridiculous, PP.

And people wonder why they don't have good relationships with their in-laws. As I mentioned, throwing out the food would bother me, but it's easily fixable ("Please don't throw out this food.") Cleaning unnecessarily? Do you hear yourself? We should all have such problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of all the things you mentioned,I'm trying to figure the heck out what in the world you did not want done. Bottom line, they re-cleaned what was already clean. Sounds like a win-win to me. Things do not stay clean, so to me that would mean it will be a lot longer before I had to clean again. Let them change the sheets on my bed. Honestly, you do not have a problem. this time hide your vibrator and you have nothing to worry about.

+ a million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of all the things you mentioned,I'm trying to figure the heck out what in the world you did not want done. Bottom line, they re-cleaned what was already clean. Sounds like a win-win to me. Things do not stay clean, so to me that would mean it will be a lot longer before I had to clean again. Let them change the sheets on my bed. Honestly, you do not have a problem. this time hide your vibrator and you have nothing to worry about.

Throwing out perfectly good food from a clean, organized fridge/freezer is wasteful and dumb. How is that a "win-win"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you have great in-laws. I wish I had that kind of help! Here's what I would do:

Set up a couple projects that you need completed for them to work on. If you own a home, surely there's something you've been meaning to do but just haven't gotten to. Or create something - give her a linen closet to organize or ask her to make some dishes to freeze. Ask him to put together a piece of furniture or fix something in the garage, etc.

And if there's something in the fridge you don't want touched, then label it so MIL knows to leave it alone.

The not wanting her to enter your bedroom thing is sort of weird to me. This woman is in your home caring for your child.

Seriously? OP knows this woman is in her home, caring for her child. So the woman should be caring for child, not touching OP's made bed and going through her closets. I would *never* enter an adult's bedroom without their express knowledge. Boundaries!

+1

Bedrooms are private spaces. There is no reason for anyone to be in there.

It would bother me.

[Anonymous]

I agree with getting them out of the house during the day. Give her tasks you would like her to do during nap time (make a batch of soup to freeze or whatever). Meanwhile, take a look in your freezer and label anything without labels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you have great in-laws. I wish I had that kind of help! Here's what I would do:

Set up a couple projects that you need completed for them to work on. If you own a home, surely there's something you've been meaning to do but just haven't gotten to. Or create something - give her a linen closet to organize or ask her to make some dishes to freeze. Ask him to put together a piece of furniture or fix something in the garage, etc.

And if there's something in the fridge you don't want touched, then label it so MIL knows to leave it alone.

The not wanting her to enter your bedroom thing is sort of weird to me. This woman is in your home caring for your child.

Seriously? OP knows this woman is in her home, caring for her child. So the woman should be caring for child, not touching OP's made bed and going through her closets. I would *never* enter an adult's bedroom without their express knowledge. Boundaries!

She CHANGED THEIR FREAKING SHEETS, didn't rifle through the closet and damage stuff. Good lord, you people have no souls.

Did you not read the original post? The MIL *did go through their closets* and cleaned and reorganized stuff unnecessarily. MIL sounds snoopy and controlling.

not as controlling as you and OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you have great in-laws. I wish I had that kind of help! Here's what I would do:

Set up a couple projects that you need completed for them to work on. If you own a home, surely there's something you've been meaning to do but just haven't gotten to. Or create something - give her a linen closet to organize or ask her to make some dishes to freeze. Ask him to put together a piece of furniture or fix something in the garage, etc.

And if there's something in the fridge you don't want touched, then label it so MIL knows to leave it alone.

The not wanting her to enter your bedroom thing is sort of weird to me. This woman is in your home caring for your child.

Seriously? OP knows this woman is in her home, caring for her child. So the woman should be caring for child, not touching OP's made bed and going through her closets. I would *never* enter an adult's bedroom without their express knowledge. Boundaries!

She CHANGED THEIR FREAKING SHEETS, didn't rifle through the closet and damage stuff. Good lord, you people have no souls.

Did you not read the original post? The MIL *did go through their closets* and cleaned and reorganized stuff unnecessarily. MIL sounds snoopy and controlling.

She said she cleaned the closets, not that she rummaged in them. I think MIL sounds like a lovely person trying her hardest to help. The fact that you interpret that as snoopy says a lot about you. I didn't interpret it that way at all.

[Anonymous]

eh, you don't go through and "organize" other people's closets and medicine cabinets. And it's strange to rewash and reorganize a carefully put together baby's room.

At some point you cross the line into being intrusive....and, yes, nosy. That line can vary from person to person.

In general, guests/sitters/even MILs do not go through their host's things. If they need something they ask for it.