Do you spank your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kid was little around 2, she pushed every button, and I ended up spanking her once or twice. I felt so bad that I let myself do that. I vowed never to do it again, and I haven't.

I remember being hit by my parents even when I was like 10 years old, my dad hit me with a belt. I will never forget it, and would not want to do anything like that to my children.

No one here advocates hitting with a belt or any instrument. Spanking should be open handed, never a fist.

Really, its all the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kid was little around 2, she pushed every button, and I ended up spanking her once or twice. I felt so bad that I let myself do that. I vowed never to do it again, and I haven't.

I remember being hit by my parents even when I was like 10 years old, my dad hit me with a belt. I will never forget it, and would not want to do anything like that to my children.

No one here advocates hitting with a belt or any instrument. Spanking should be open handed, never a fist.

Really, its all the same thing.

Actually, it isn't. An open hand on the bottom is not legally considered child abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never could understand how you could impart to your child that hitting is wrong if it's supposed to be okay that YOU hit THEM. What if their infraction was hitting someone? Do you seriously say "Stop hitting So-and-so!" then when they don't listen, go hit them?

By making it part of the lesson. A kid slaps me in face, I took a firm hold of his hand and gave it a smack, I then asked "Did you like that?", he said "No", "Then why do you think it's okay to do?". Never hit again.

[Anonymous]

I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

Are you spanking on the bare bottom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

I'm pretty sure they just have an agenda. Talk about this with people in real life, and everyone chuckles about it and says "I deserved it, too." Get on a debate online, and it's all "It was ssoooooooo traumatic."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do spank. Never out of anger, however. I think that's the key- like PP said, there are a few things that are an automatic spanking in our house. Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. And then it's done, and we move on. No different than other consequences.

I am not a fan of the impromptu whack on the butt stuff.

Just to push your thinking here a bit, would you be okay if your kids hit someone even if it wasn't out of anger? If you have a discussion about why they are being spanked, it seems reasonable to leave it at that. I was hit/spanked by my mother and it's never a good thing to see your parent so out of control. It completely change our relationship, for the worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

Are you spanking on the bare bottom?

No, I think that's unnecessary. Not to say skin to skin isn't not okay, I'm the hand swat from above to stop kid's slapping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do spank. Never out of anger, however. I think that's the key- like PP said, there are a few things that are an automatic spanking in our house. Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. And then it's done, and we move on. No different than other consequences.

I am not a fan of the impromptu whack on the butt stuff.

Just to push your thinking here a bit, would you be okay if your kids hit someone even if it wasn't out of anger? If you have a discussion about why they are being spanked, it seems reasonable to leave it at that. I was hit/spanked by my mother and it's never a good thing to see your parent so out of control. It completely change our relationship, for the worse.

If my kids decided that they, as parents, will use spanking as a disciplinary measure, I AM okay with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

I'm pretty sure they just have an agenda. Talk about this with people in real life, and everyone chuckles about it and says "I deserved it, too." Get on a debate online, and it's all "It was ssoooooooo traumatic."

pp here, uh no. Really your kids are seeing you out of control and being hypocritical (because I'm guessing these kids who are spanked are not allowed to hit). My only agenda is to save a kid from pain and to save a parent from their kids seeing them as weak or despicable. But, justify it if you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

Are you spanking on the bare bottom?

No, I think that's unnecessary. Not to say skin to skin isn't not okay, I'm the hand swat from above to stop kid's slapping.

I'm just wondering since you said redness. Full disclosure--we'll do the bare bottom thing.

[Anonymous]

My parents spanked me and I cannot say it changed my relationship with them. I honestly don't think I was that affected by being spanked. (?) Does anyone else feel like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do spank. Never out of anger, however. I think that's the key- like PP said, there are a few things that are an automatic spanking in our house. Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. And then it's done, and we move on. No different than other consequences.

I am not a fan of the impromptu whack on the butt stuff.

Just to push your thinking here a bit, would you be okay if your kids hit someone even if it wasn't out of anger? If you have a discussion about why they are being spanked, it seems reasonable to leave it at that. I was hit/spanked by my mother and it's never a good thing to see your parent so out of control. It completely change our relationship, for the worse.

I'm not sure I understand the question. The issue would be whether the spanker has legitimate authority to issue a punishment. Kids don't have this authority over other kids; kids can't take away each other's iPhones, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

I'm pretty sure they just have an agenda. Talk about this with people in real life, and everyone chuckles about it and says "I deserved it, too." Get on a debate online, and it's all "It was ssoooooooo traumatic."

In person, you are less likely to talk about feeling hurt, shamed and vulnerable, especially when it was your parents who made you feel that way. ESPECIALLY if the person to whom you are speaking knows, has met, or might ever actually meet your parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do spank. Never out of anger, however. I think that's the key- like PP said, there are a few things that are an automatic spanking in our house. Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. And then it's done, and we move on. No different than other consequences.

I am not a fan of the impromptu whack on the butt stuff.

Just to push your thinking here a bit, would you be okay if your kids hit someone even if it wasn't out of anger? If you have a discussion about why they are being spanked, it seems reasonable to leave it at that. I was hit/spanked by my mother and it's never a good thing to see your parent so out of control. It completely change our relationship, for the worse.

If my kids decided that they, as parents, will use spanking as a disciplinary measure, I AM okay with that.

So only parents can hit their kids. Is that the only way in which hitting is permissible?