Feminism, femininity, and marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We're not talking about paint color, we're talking about being able to make life decisions such as work and family status. American women no longer have to be economically dependent on their parents or their husbands, thank God. Why wouldn't you want to be able to choose a career that you find rewarding and satisfying?

There are probably still people who don't think women should be able to make such choices, but I think they're probably in the minority. And I certainly don't think the option to make such choices is a problem - it's a good thing. I think what causes more problems is the slightly different belief that women *should* choose a job instead of running the home and raising the children -- that, by not entering or remaining in the workforce, they are somehow lesser women.

And, for what it's worth, men should be able to choose the same thing. But it's not as realistic an option for men because not as many women are willing to be the sole provider with the dad staying at home as women are willing to be the sole provider with the mom staying at home. Stay at home dads are generally held in lesser regard than stay at home moms.

+1 nobody is against women having those choices. However extreme feminism such as the PP demeaning everyone that has even a slightly different opinion from her has colored gender relations and family dynamics between men and women.

Is this something like gay marriage threatening straight marriage? Because nobody is forcing you, or your wives or husbands, to become extreme feminists. There are purportedly many women, even on this very thread on the very liberal DCUM forums, who absolutely reject feminism in all shapes. How does that jibe with your assertion that extreme feminism is changing gender relations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care about feminism. I care about what makes me happy. I love taking care of my DH and my family. My DH is the head of our household and I'm not ashamed to say it. he's a great provider and a wonderful partner in life and raising out children you won't see me complaining about him on these boards. I let him be a man and he let's me be a woman. We are different on the way we were born. Our brains were wired differently and those difference compliment each other and make us better together.

And yes. I work. I love my job, but I also put my family first and it doesn't get in the way of my #1 priority, my kids and husband.

You might not feel that "head of the household" crap if you were more educated, or if he beat you.

Nice combo. More educated and beatings! "You are too dumb to recognize that you shouldn't like what you have now - if you were smarter, you'd feel the same way as if your dumb ass was getting beaten." How condescending.

Considering the fact that I'm a Columbia gratuate and attended Juilliard in High School, I think I'm covered in the education department.

I can be accomplished and at the same time embrace my biological drive. I'm not so sure why the angry stranger is so upset the happiness that I gain from my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That was an observation, and certainly not an endorsement.

I encourage healthy agression in my sons. If I had daughters I'd do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care about feminism. I care about what makes me happy. I love taking care of my DH and my family. My DH is the head of our household and I'm not ashamed to say it. he's a great provider and a wonderful partner in life and raising out children you won't see me complaining about him on these boards. I let him be a man and he let's me be a woman. We are different on the way we were born. Our brains were wired differently and those difference compliment each other and make us better together.

And yes. I work. I love my job, but I also put my family first and it doesn't get in the way of my #1 priority, my kids and husband.

You might not feel that "head of the household" crap if you were more educated, or if he beat you.

Nice combo. More educated and beatings! "You are too dumb to recognize that you shouldn't like what you have now - if you were smarter, you'd feel the same way as if your dumb ass was getting beaten." How condescending.

Considering the fact that I'm a Columbia gratuate and attended Juilliard in High School, I think I'm covered in the education department.

I can be accomplished and at the same time embrace my biological drive. I'm not so sure why the angry stranger is so upset the happiness that I gain from my family.

But you still use "let's" for lets and "compliment" when you mean "complement." You've got music education, I guess. Just for laughs, do you not want to be the co-head of the household, along with your husband, because it's threatening to him, or ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care about feminism. I care about what makes me happy. I love taking care of my DH and my family. My DH is the head of our household and I'm not ashamed to say it. he's a great provider and a wonderful partner in life and raising out children you won't see me complaining about him on these boards. I let him be a man and he let's me be a woman. We are different on the way we were born. Our brains were wired differently and those difference compliment each other and make us better together.

And yes. I work. I love my job, but I also put my family first and it doesn't get in the way of my #1 priority, my kids and husband.

You might not feel that "head of the household" crap if you were more educated, or if he beat you.

Nice combo. More educated and beatings! "You are too dumb to recognize that you shouldn't like what you have now - if you were smarter, you'd feel the same way as if your dumb ass was getting beaten." How condescending.

Considering the fact that I'm a Columbia gratuate and attended Juilliard in High School, I think I'm covered in the education department.

I can be accomplished and at the same time embrace my biological drive. I'm not so sure why the angry stranger is so upset the happiness that I gain from my family.

+1 She has thrown out so many stereotypes why people may reject feminism. First it was because they were all angry men who were whiners. Then it was uneducated women who did not know any better and may be subjected to beatings. Then those women were weak minded tools of the patriarchy. With someone like that who can even have a serious conversation. I feel sorry for the men in her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care about feminism. I care about what makes me happy. I love taking care of my DH and my family. My DH is the head of our household and I'm not ashamed to say it. he's a great provider and a wonderful partner in life and raising out children you won't see me complaining about him on these boards. I let him be a man and he let's me be a woman. We are different on the way we were born. Our brains were wired differently and those difference compliment each other and make us better together.

And yes. I work. I love my job, but I also put my family first and it doesn't get in the way of my #1 priority, my kids and husband.

You might not feel that "head of the household" crap if you were more educated, or if he beat you.

Nice combo. More educated and beatings! "You are too dumb to recognize that you shouldn't like what you have now - if you were smarter, you'd feel the same way as if your dumb ass was getting beaten." How condescending.

Considering the fact that I'm a Columbia gratuate and attended Juilliard in High School, I think I'm covered in the education department.

I can be accomplished and at the same time embrace my biological drive. I'm not so sure why the angry stranger is so upset the happiness that I gain from my family.

But you still use "let's" for lets and "compliment" when you mean "complement." You've got music education, I guess. Just for laughs, do you not want to be the co-head of the household, along with your husband, because it's threatening to him, or ?

Just because someone spells a word wrongly on a message forum board does not mean they are uneducated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care about feminism. I care about what makes me happy. I love taking care of my DH and my family. My DH is the head of our household and I'm not ashamed to say it. he's a great provider and a wonderful partner in life and raising out children you won't see me complaining about him on these boards. I let him be a man and he let's me be a woman. We are different on the way we were born. Our brains were wired differently and those difference compliment each other and make us better together.

And yes. I work. I love my job, but I also put my family first and it doesn't get in the way of my #1 priority, my kids and husband.

You might not feel that "head of the household" crap if you were more educated, or if he beat you.

Nice combo. More educated and beatings! "You are too dumb to recognize that you shouldn't like what you have now - if you were smarter, you'd feel the same way as if your dumb ass was getting beaten." How condescending.

Considering the fact that I'm a Columbia gratuate and attended Juilliard in High School, I think I'm covered in the education department.

I can be accomplished and at the same time embrace my biological drive. I'm not so sure why the angry stranger is so upset the happiness that I gain from my family.

But you still use "let's" for lets and "compliment" when you mean "complement." You've got music education, I guess. Just for laughs, do you not want to be the co-head of the household, along with your husband, because it's threatening to him, or ?

Just because someone spells a word wrongly on a message forum board does not mean they are uneducated.

Spells wrongly? I give up and I'll let you go back to your 1950s lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care about feminism. I care about what makes me happy. I love taking care of my DH and my family. My DH is the head of our household and I'm not ashamed to say it. he's a great provider and a wonderful partner in life and raising out children you won't see me complaining about him on these boards. I let him be a man and he let's me be a woman. We are different on the way we were born. Our brains were wired differently and those difference compliment each other and make us better together.

And yes. I work. I love my job, but I also put my family first and it doesn't get in the way of my #1 priority, my kids and husband.

You might not feel that "head of the household" crap if you were more educated, or if he beat you.

Nice combo. More educated and beatings! "You are too dumb to recognize that you shouldn't like what you have now - if you were smarter, you'd feel the same way as if your dumb ass was getting beaten." How condescending.

Considering the fact that I'm a Columbia gratuate and attended Juilliard in High School, I think I'm covered in the education department.

I can be accomplished and at the same time embrace my biological drive. I'm not so sure why the angry stranger is so upset the happiness that I gain from my family.

But you still use "let's" for lets and "compliment" when you mean "complement." You've got music education, I guess. Just for laughs, do you not want to be the co-head of the household, along with your husband, because it's threatening to him, or ?

incorrectly..happy? Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Just because someone spells a word wrongly on a message forum board does not mean they are uneducated.

Spells wrongly? I give up and I'll let you go back to your 1950s lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care about feminism. I care about what makes me happy. I love taking care of my DH and my family. My DH is the head of our household and I'm not ashamed to say it. he's a great provider and a wonderful partner in life and raising out children you won't see me complaining about him on these boards. I let him be a man and he let's me be a woman. We are different on the way we were born. Our brains were wired differently and those difference compliment each other and make us better together.

And yes. I work. I love my job, but I also put my family first and it doesn't get in the way of my #1 priority, my kids and husband.

You might not feel that "head of the household" crap if you were more educated, or if he beat you.

Nice combo. More educated and beatings! "You are too dumb to recognize that you shouldn't like what you have now - if you were smarter, you'd feel the same way as if your dumb ass was getting beaten." How condescending.

Considering the fact that I'm a Columbia gratuate and attended Juilliard in High School, I think I'm covered in the education department.

I can be accomplished and at the same time embrace my biological drive. I'm not so sure why the angry stranger is so upset the happiness that I gain from my family.

But you still use "let's" for lets and "compliment" when you mean "complement." You've got music education, I guess. Just for laughs, do you not want to be the co-head of the household, along with your husband, because it's threatening to him, or ?

incorrectly..happy? Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Just because someone spells a word wrongly on a message forum board does not mean they are uneducated.

Spells wrongly? I give up and I'll let you go back to your 1950s lives.

Incorrectly. Happy, grammar nazi? Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[Anonymous]

A serious question for the posters who say that they don't care about feminism:

I understand that you are happy with your family structure as it is. I understand that the gender roles performed by everyone in your family are not problematic for you and that you are satisfied with the balance.

Do you care that there are women who are not experiencing that? You almost certainly know a woman who has been abused (emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually). Do you believe that that woman should have the right to challenge the abuse, to hold her abuser accountable? If her abuser is her husband, should she be allowed to divorce him? If she divorces him, does she forfeit the right to see her children?

Because we still need feminism. Many women experience equality and feel empowered. There are also many women who are trapped in toxic relationships and not empowered to make decisions about education, career, childbearing, etc. It might seem like a thing of the past to people who haven't lived it, but it's really not. I watched my childhood best friend get pregnant at age 15, forced to marry the father of the child, who was violently abusive. When she reached out for help to her parents and her pastor (you know, the people who are supposed to help you find your way in the world when you're a 16-year-old child), they told her that she must have done something to provoke him and recommended that she try to make it up to him. That was almost 20 years ago. Five years ago, I watched a close friend marry a charming sociopath who methodically isolated her from her family and friends by moving to a very remote part of Texas and then started abusing her physically and verbally when she voiced her unhappiness. She strongly believes that he sabotaged the condoms she made him wear when he demanded sex from her, and when she finally made a plan to leave, he kept her in and out of court for almost a year, trying to claim that she was an unfit mother to their infant daughter because she wanted to go back to university.

The plural of anecdote does not equal data, and if you're comfortable with enjoying your own life and not concerning yourself with the struggles of other women, then by all means, don't care about feminism.

[Anonymous]

I know more men who have suffered violence at the hands of men than women who have suffered violence at the hands of men.

With respect to violence, feminism is useful to the extent it is/was necessary to convince society that male-on-female violence is wrong. But, to the extent that people know it's wrong and yet such violence still happens, well, welcome to the club. There are criminals among us, and we all suffer from them. Men are more often victims (and, yes, perpetrators too) of violent crime than women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know more men who have suffered violence at the hands of men than women who have suffered violence at the hands of men.

With respect to violence, feminism is useful to the extent it is/was necessary to convince society that male-on-female violence is wrong. But, to the extent that people know it's wrong and yet such violence still happens, well, welcome to the club. There are criminals among us, and we all suffer from them. Men are more often victims (and, yes, perpetrators too) of violent crime than women.

Are you the same poster who encouraged his/her sons to be aggressive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care about feminism. I care about what makes me happy. I love taking care of my DH and my family. My DH is the head of our household and I'm not ashamed to say it. he's a great provider and a wonderful partner in life and raising out children you won't see me complaining about him on these boards. I let him be a man and he let's me be a woman. We are different on the way we were born. Our brains were wired differently and those difference compliment each other and make us better together.

And yes. I work. I love my job, but I also put my family first and it doesn't get in the way of my #1 priority, my kids and husband.

You might not feel that "head of the household" crap if you were more educated, or if he beat you.

Nice combo. More educated and beatings! "You are too dumb to recognize that you shouldn't like what you have now - if you were smarter, you'd feel the same way as if your dumb ass was getting beaten." How condescending.

Considering the fact that I'm a Columbia gratuate and attended Juilliard in High School, I think I'm covered in the education department.

I can be accomplished and at the same time embrace my biological drive. I'm not so sure why the angry stranger is so upset the happiness that I gain from my family.

But you still use "let's" for lets and "compliment" when you mean "complement." You've got music education, I guess. Just for laughs, do you not want to be the co-head of the household, along with your husband, because it's threatening to him, or ?

It's my phone dummy. The keyboard is very sensitive. why are you so angry? Is this just your personality?

My DH is simply the head of our household.That doesn't make anyone less important, nor does it diminish my role. It's not a contest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really care about feminism. I care about what makes me happy. I love taking care of my DH and my family. My DH is the head of our household and I'm not ashamed to say it. he's a great provider and a wonderful partner in life and raising out children you won't see me complaining about him on these boards. I let him be a man and he let's me be a woman. We are different on the way we were born. Our brains were wired differently and those difference compliment each other and make us better together.

And yes. I work. I love my job, but I also put my family first and it doesn't get in the way of my #1 priority, my kids and husband.

You might not feel that "head of the household" crap if you were more educated, or if he beat you.

Nice combo. More educated and beatings! "You are too dumb to recognize that you shouldn't like what you have now - if you were smarter, you'd feel the same way as if your dumb ass was getting beaten." How condescending.

Considering the fact that I'm a Columbia gratuate and attended Juilliard in High School, I think I'm covered in the education department.

I can be accomplished and at the same time embrace my biological drive. I'm not so sure why the angry stranger is so upset the happiness that I gain from my family.

But you still use "let's" for lets and "compliment" when you mean "complement." You've got music education, I guess. Just for laughs, do you not want to be the co-head of the household, along with your husband, because it's threatening to him, or ?

Just because someone spells a word wrongly on a message forum board does not mean they are uneducated.

Spells wrongly? I give up and I'll let you go back to your 1950s lives.

Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out angry stranger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know more men who have suffered violence at the hands of men than women who have suffered violence at the hands of men.

With respect to violence, feminism is useful to the extent it is/was necessary to convince society that male-on-female violence is wrong. But, to the extent that people know it's wrong and yet such violence still happens, well, welcome to the club. There are criminals among us, and we all suffer from them. Men are more often victims (and, yes, perpetrators too) of violent crime than women.

Are you the same poster who encouraged his/her sons to be aggressive?

Nope. I have a sweet, gentle boy and am not trying to talk him out of that. The world will toughen him up on its own - I want him to remember me as someone who loved him for who he is.