Feminism, femininity, and marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Head of household" PP. Can you give an example of a big decision where your husband's preference trumps your preference?

Sorry if this has been asked in the last 2 pages of sniping, which I did not read because the first 14 pages were pretty exhausting.

I've got work to do. I'm no longer wasting my time on people unable comprehend beyond their own ridged bias and ignorance.

I was actually curious. It wasn't a loaded question and I'm not the PP who is attacking you. I can think of a number of really big family decisions where there would be no way I could accept someone else's decision if I completely disagreed. My list of dealbreakers is pretty tiny, but because this isn't the way it works in my family, it's pretty much hypothetical. I was hoping that someone for whom it's NOT hypothetical could weigh in about their actual experience.

If it's something like "I preferred school X for Larla while DH preferred school Y and because he's the decider, Larla goes to school Y" that's one thing. There is a thread on Expectant Moms right now where a woman is unexpectedly pregnant after infertility and wants to keep the baby, while her husband wants her to get an abortion. I am curious as to how the "head of household" PP(s) would resolve such a dilemma.

I'll give you one that happened a few years ago. We were buying a house. We looked at dozens and could not agree. He made the final decision on the house we purchased. I hated it and he promised to make it liveable for me and I bitched a lot about it. He lived up to that promise and the entire house has been remodeled. Top to bottom. I love the house now. I just couldn't see past the horrible finishes at the time.

However, I'm not sure why all of you are freaking out over the decision thing. How often do couples really disagree? I don't know about you, but it is so incredibly rare that we strongly want to go in two separate directions. In all honesty our biggest disagreement ever in our marriage was over our wedding. I wanted to elope, he did not. I completely threw my hands up and said fine and only referred to it has his wedding. THat is the only time we had an enormous blow out, which of course made me pause and wonder if I was making the right choice.

Being head of the household is really just having the big shoulders to carry us on. Being a stand up guy who is emotionally solid, being the rock for me when I need view of steady ground when I feel like I'm bobbing in the ocean. Being the man that barrels outside with a baseball bat when someone is trying to break in (yes, that happened), advocating for our family when needed, or when my efforts have not gotten us anywhere, being the guy that will beat the contractor up for the best price and then come down on him and make him do it again when it is not done as promised.

I'm sure many of you are made of well worn and tested leather. However, I actually like having a man who can take care of shit when I don't want to expel the energy. I like having someone I can fall back on and trust that he will get it done. I'm comfortable enough with myself to allow myself to sit back sometimes and let someone else sail the ship. I don't always want the ship to have two captains, I'm happy being co. It doesn't' bruise my ego one bit.

Unfortunately, those are also the men who cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Head of household" PP. Can you give an example of a big decision where your husband's preference trumps your preference?

Sorry if this has been asked in the last 2 pages of sniping, which I did not read because the first 14 pages were pretty exhausting.

I've got work to do. I'm no longer wasting my time on people unable comprehend beyond their own ridged bias and ignorance.

I was actually curious. It wasn't a loaded question and I'm not the PP who is attacking you. I can think of a number of really big family decisions where there would be no way I could accept someone else's decision if I completely disagreed. My list of dealbreakers is pretty tiny, but because this isn't the way it works in my family, it's pretty much hypothetical. I was hoping that someone for whom it's NOT hypothetical could weigh in about their actual experience.

If it's something like "I preferred school X for Larla while DH preferred school Y and because he's the decider, Larla goes to school Y" that's one thing. There is a thread on Expectant Moms right now where a woman is unexpectedly pregnant after infertility and wants to keep the baby, while her husband wants her to get an abortion. I am curious as to how the "head of household" PP(s) would resolve such a dilemma.

I'll give you one that happened a few years ago. We were buying a house. We looked at dozens and could not agree. He made the final decision on the house we purchased. I hated it and he promised to make it liveable for me and I bitched a lot about it. He lived up to that promise and the entire house has been remodeled. Top to bottom. I love the house now. I just couldn't see past the horrible finishes at the time.

However, I'm not sure why all of you are freaking out over the decision thing. How often do couples really disagree? I don't know about you, but it is so incredibly rare that we strongly want to go in two separate directions. In all honesty our biggest disagreement ever in our marriage was over our wedding. I wanted to elope, he did not. I completely threw my hands up and said fine and only referred to it has his wedding. THat is the only time we had an enormous blow out, which of course made me pause and wonder if I was making the right choice.

Being head of the household is really just having the big shoulders to carry us on. Being a stand up guy who is emotionally solid, being the rock for me when I need view of steady ground when I feel like I'm bobbing in the ocean. Being the man that barrels outside with a baseball bat when someone is trying to break in (yes, that happened), advocating for our family when needed, or when my efforts have not gotten us anywhere, being the guy that will beat the contractor up for the best price and then come down on him and make him do it again when it is not done as promised.

I'm sure many of you are made of well worn and tested leather. However, I actually like having a man who can take care of shit when I don't want to expel the energy. I like having someone I can fall back on and trust that he will get it done. I'm comfortable enough with myself to allow myself to sit back sometimes and let someone else sail the ship. I don't always want the ship to have two captains, I'm happy being co. It doesn't' bruise my ego one bit.

Unfortunately, those are also the men who cheat.

Is that all you've got? You really draped the bottom of the barrel for that one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they want a woman to stay home with the kids and cook, there are plenty of women who enjoy that out there, who have made the choice to do that instead of a career (but the choice is thanks to feminism).

One of the allegations in the post is that there is social pressure by feminists against women who are content with running a family.

This is my takeaway as well. I'm a feminist, but I think the feminist movement in it's current incarnation rewards women for developing traditionally masculine traits (ambition and competitiveness come to mind) while distancing itself from the "softer, gentler" feminine image. It encourages women to do well and to strive mightily in the public sphere, but seems to dismiss (or just ignore) the call of the domestic.

This post made me laugh out loud. Do you seriously think women weren't competitive and ambitious before? They were, and they were encouraged to be -- just about different things. They were encouraged to be competitive about their appearance and the appearance of their homes and their status.

I don't think the feminist movement encourages women to strive in the public sphere. I think it encourages them not to depend on anyone for subsistence.

You assume all women have the "call of the domestic" and somehow feminism urges them all to repress that. Not all women have the "call of the domestic," and feminism says that's okay, they're not less of a woman because of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Head of household" PP. Can you give an example of a big decision where your husband's preference trumps your preference?

Sorry if this has been asked in the last 2 pages of sniping, which I did not read because the first 14 pages were pretty exhausting.

I've got work to do. I'm no longer wasting my time on people unable comprehend beyond their own ridged bias and ignorance.

I was actually curious. It wasn't a loaded question and I'm not the PP who is attacking you. I can think of a number of really big family decisions where there would be no way I could accept someone else's decision if I completely disagreed. My list of dealbreakers is pretty tiny, but because this isn't the way it works in my family, it's pretty much hypothetical. I was hoping that someone for whom it's NOT hypothetical could weigh in about their actual experience.

If it's something like "I preferred school X for Larla while DH preferred school Y and because he's the decider, Larla goes to school Y" that's one thing. There is a thread on Expectant Moms right now where a woman is unexpectedly pregnant after infertility and wants to keep the baby, while her husband wants her to get an abortion. I am curious as to how the "head of household" PP(s) would resolve such a dilemma.

I'll give you one that happened a few years ago. We were buying a house. We looked at dozens and could not agree. He made the final decision on the house we purchased. I hated it and he promised to make it liveable for me and I bitched a lot about it. He lived up to that promise and the entire house has been remodeled. Top to bottom. I love the house now. I just couldn't see past the horrible finishes at the time.

However, I'm not sure why all of you are freaking out over the decision thing. How often do couples really disagree? I don't know about you, but it is so incredibly rare that we strongly want to go in two separate directions. In all honesty our biggest disagreement ever in our marriage was over our wedding. I wanted to elope, he did not. I completely threw my hands up and said fine and only referred to it has his wedding. THat is the only time we had an enormous blow out, which of course made me pause and wonder if I was making the right choice.

Being head of the household is really just having the big shoulders to carry us on. Being a stand up guy who is emotionally solid, being the rock for me when I need view of steady ground when I feel like I'm bobbing in the ocean. Being the man that barrels outside with a baseball bat when someone is trying to break in (yes, that happened), advocating for our family when needed, or when my efforts have not gotten us anywhere, being the guy that will beat the contractor up for the best price and then come down on him and make him do it again when it is not done as promised.

I'm sure many of you are made of well worn and tested leather. However, I actually like having a man who can take care of shit when I don't want to expel the energy. I like having someone I can fall back on and trust that he will get it done. I'm comfortable enough with myself to allow myself to sit back sometimes and let someone else sail the ship. I don't always want the ship to have two captains, I'm happy being co. It doesn't' bruise my ego one bit.

To each her own. If that's what you want, have at it.

It's not what I want. I want a partnership. Sure, that means if I need my husband to take the wheel, he'll take it. But it also means that I take the wheel when he needs me to take it. We support EACH OTHER. It doesn't flow one way.

There's no doubt that my husband would do anything and everything to protect me if someone attacked me, but there's also no doubt in my husband's mind that if anyone wants to hurt him, they'd have to get through me first.

And I couldn't even imagine not making big decisions together. I like having a partner. I like we take care of things together, and we're both there for each other.

As I said, to each her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Head of household" PP. Can you give an example of a big decision where your husband's preference trumps your preference?

Sorry if this has been asked in the last 2 pages of sniping, which I did not read because the first 14 pages were pretty exhausting.

I've got work to do. I'm no longer wasting my time on people unable comprehend beyond their own ridged bias and ignorance.

I was actually curious. It wasn't a loaded question and I'm not the PP who is attacking you. I can think of a number of really big family decisions where there would be no way I could accept someone else's decision if I completely disagreed. My list of dealbreakers is pretty tiny, but because this isn't the way it works in my family, it's pretty much hypothetical. I was hoping that someone for whom it's NOT hypothetical could weigh in about their actual experience.

If it's something like "I preferred school X for Larla while DH preferred school Y and because he's the decider, Larla goes to school Y" that's one thing. There is a thread on Expectant Moms right now where a woman is unexpectedly pregnant after infertility and wants to keep the baby, while her husband wants her to get an abortion. I am curious as to how the "head of household" PP(s) would resolve such a dilemma.

I'll give you one that happened a few years ago. We were buying a house. We looked at dozens and could not agree. He made the final decision on the house we purchased. I hated it and he promised to make it liveable for me and I bitched a lot about it. He lived up to that promise and the entire house has been remodeled. Top to bottom. I love the house now. I just couldn't see past the horrible finishes at the time.

However, I'm not sure why all of you are freaking out over the decision thing. How often do couples really disagree? I don't know about you, but it is so incredibly rare that we strongly want to go in two separate directions. In all honesty our biggest disagreement ever in our marriage was over our wedding. I wanted to elope, he did not. I completely threw my hands up and said fine and only referred to it has his wedding. THat is the only time we had an enormous blow out, which of course made me pause and wonder if I was making the right choice.

Being head of the household is really just having the big shoulders to carry us on. Being a stand up guy who is emotionally solid, being the rock for me when I need view of steady ground when I feel like I'm bobbing in the ocean. Being the man that barrels outside with a baseball bat when someone is trying to break in (yes, that happened), advocating for our family when needed, or when my efforts have not gotten us anywhere, being the guy that will beat the contractor up for the best price and then come down on him and make him do it again when it is not done as promised.

I'm sure many of you are made of well worn and tested leather. However, I actually like having a man who can take care of shit when I don't want to expel the energy. I like having someone I can fall back on and trust that he will get it done. I'm comfortable enough with myself to allow myself to sit back sometimes and let someone else sail the ship. I don't always want the ship to have two captains, I'm happy being co. It doesn't' bruise my ego one bit.

To each her own. If that's what you want, have at it.

It's not what I want. I want a partnership. Sure, that means if I need my husband to take the wheel, he'll take it. But it also means that I take the wheel when he needs me to take it. We support EACH OTHER. It doesn't flow one way.

There's no doubt that my husband would do anything and everything to protect me if someone attacked me, but there's also no doubt in my husband's mind that if anyone wants to hurt him, they'd have to get through me first.

And I couldn't even imagine not making big decisions together. I like having a partner. I like we take care of things together, and we're both there for each other.

As I said, to each her own.

Nice critical reading. LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they want a woman to stay home with the kids and cook, there are plenty of women who enjoy that out there, who have made the choice to do that instead of a career (but the choice is thanks to feminism).

One of the allegations in the post is that there is social pressure by feminists against women who are content with running a family.

This is my takeaway as well. I'm a feminist, but I think the feminist movement in it's current incarnation rewards women for developing traditionally masculine traits (ambition and competitiveness come to mind) while distancing itself from the "softer, gentler" feminine image. It encourages women to do well and to strive mightily in the public sphere, but seems to dismiss (or just ignore) the call of the domestic.

This post made me laugh out loud. Do you seriously think women weren't competitive and ambitious before? They were, and they were encouraged to be -- just about different things. They were encouraged to be competitive about their appearance and the appearance of their homes and their status.

I don't think the feminist movement encourages women to strive in the public sphere. I think it encourages them not to depend on anyone for subsistence.

You assume all women have the "call of the domestic" and somehow feminism urges them all to repress that. Not all women have the "call of the domestic," and feminism says that's okay, they're not less of a woman because of that.

I don't see that assumption about "all women" at all. I think you're projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they want a woman to stay home with the kids and cook, there are plenty of women who enjoy that out there, who have made the choice to do that instead of a career (but the choice is thanks to feminism).

One of the allegations in the post is that there is social pressure by feminists against women who are content with running a family.

This is my takeaway as well. I'm a feminist, but I think the feminist movement in it's current incarnation rewards women for developing traditionally masculine traits (ambition and competitiveness come to mind) while distancing itself from the "softer, gentler" feminine image. It encourages women to do well and to strive mightily in the public sphere, but seems to dismiss (or just ignore) the call of the domestic.

This post made me laugh out loud. Do you seriously think women weren't competitive and ambitious before? They were, and they were encouraged to be -- just about different things. They were encouraged to be competitive about their appearance and the appearance of their homes and their status.

I don't think the feminist movement encourages women to strive in the public sphere. I think it encourages them not to depend on anyone for subsistence.

You assume all women have the "call of the domestic" and somehow feminism urges them all to repress that. Not all women have the "call of the domestic," and feminism says that's okay, they're not less of a woman because of that.

I'm laughing now. Women are still competitive about their appearance, their home, and their status. Women are now expected to birth babies and turn into the sex kitten MILF.

You are top of your game if you have the perfect body, perfect job, picture perfect kids, and a home that is well organized and cooked from scratch dinner on the table each night.

Defined shoulders and biceps are the new symbol of a successful woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[W]e expect and demand more from men, more than a roof over our heads and a steady income. We expect men to have good self esteem, integrity, emotional health and maturity, a good work ethic, and good parenting and partner skills. As the playing field has leveled, men have had to up their game. And the antifeminists are the ones who can't or don't want to. They are the ones who can't adapt.

. . .

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. Why don't men pick up the devotion to children and hearth and home aspects of "femininity"?

I think Ironwood's partial response to that is, "Sure, Masculinity ain't what it used to be either, and we own that. We allowed ourselves to be talked out of our better masculine nature in the false hope that it would lead to a better domestic life, social harmony, and more sex. What we got was more demands, more requirements, and less sex."

Some do take up hearth and home, but the manospherians will tell you that these men generally aren't as attractive to women. Anecdotally, I've certainly seen around here that a lot of women want a "man's man," and/or "a provider." So, if a young man's options are to make himself less attractive by taking care of hearth & home or to remain attractive in exchange for more demands, more requirements, and less sex, he's likely to just check out, sleep around where he can (play video games and watch porn where he can't), but not commit to marriage.

1000+

[Anonymous]

If these men can't step up, they want to blame it on women and dump more on them.

You want to find the happiest people, go to the places where there are social supports (paid family leave, affordable childcare, affordable eldercare, truly affordable health care etc) for families, so both men and women aren't as overburdened, and both have more freedom to make the choices that work for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Head of household" PP. Can you give an example of a big decision where your husband's preference trumps your preference?

Sorry if this has been asked in the last 2 pages of sniping, which I did not read because the first 14 pages were pretty exhausting.

I've got work to do. I'm no longer wasting my time on people unable comprehend beyond their own ridged bias and ignorance.

I was actually curious. It wasn't a loaded question and I'm not the PP who is attacking you. I can think of a number of really big family decisions where there would be no way I could accept someone else's decision if I completely disagreed. My list of dealbreakers is pretty tiny, but because this isn't the way it works in my family, it's pretty much hypothetical. I was hoping that someone for whom it's NOT hypothetical could weigh in about their actual experience.

If it's something like "I preferred school X for Larla while DH preferred school Y and because he's the decider, Larla goes to school Y" that's one thing. There is a thread on Expectant Moms right now where a woman is unexpectedly pregnant after infertility and wants to keep the baby, while her husband wants her to get an abortion. I am curious as to how the "head of household" PP(s) would resolve such a dilemma.

I'll give you one that happened a few years ago. We were buying a house. We looked at dozens and could not agree. He made the final decision on the house we purchased. I hated it and he promised to make it liveable for me and I bitched a lot about it. He lived up to that promise and the entire house has been remodeled. Top to bottom. I love the house now. I just couldn't see past the horrible finishes at the time.

However, I'm not sure why all of you are freaking out over the decision thing. How often do couples really disagree? I don't know about you, but it is so incredibly rare that we strongly want to go in two separate directions. In all honesty our biggest disagreement ever in our marriage was over our wedding. I wanted to elope, he did not. I completely threw my hands up and said fine and only referred to it has his wedding. THat is the only time we had an enormous blow out, which of course made me pause and wonder if I was making the right choice.

Being head of the household is really just having the big shoulders to carry us on. Being a stand up guy who is emotionally solid, being the rock for me when I need view of steady ground when I feel like I'm bobbing in the ocean. Being the man that barrels outside with a baseball bat when someone is trying to break in (yes, that happened), advocating for our family when needed, or when my efforts have not gotten us anywhere, being the guy that will beat the contractor up for the best price and then come down on him and make him do it again when it is not done as promised.

I'm sure many of you are made of well worn and tested leather. However, I actually like having a man who can take care of shit when I don't want to expel the energy. I like having someone I can fall back on and trust that he will get it done. I'm comfortable enough with myself to allow myself to sit back sometimes and let someone else sail the ship. I don't always want the ship to have two captains, I'm happy being co. It doesn't' bruise my ego one bit.

Thank you for your answer. It sounds like you have a great marriage.

With the house example, was there a house that you liked better?

Yes, I wanted to move into a town house and he wanted nothing to do with anything other than a SFH, there was a fundamental divide. We could afford a TH that had the interior loaded with new finishes and move right in. We did not have the budget for a SFH with all the options I wanted. However, in retrospect, this SFH Is better because now the house is customized to what I want. He could have cared less about the interior. He wanted the yard for our boys, as he coaches all of their sports.

Ok I see. Your Dh was right. Perhaps he's the head of the household because he's more intelligent and/or worldly wise than you are, rather than simply because he's male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a feminist, but my DH is head of the household. What it means is this: sometimes you just can not come to an agreement. Some times both of you feel the other is wrong. When we get to that point, we go with his decision because he is the head.

Every family must have a way to cope when this happens. If this has never happened to you, consider yourself very lucky. It happens to most couples at least at 1 point in their marriage.

In some families, even families with very feminine Stay at home women, the woman really is the head and her decision carries. In my family, it is DH.

ACK, such subservience! In my family, since we have no head of household, we default to the person who feels most strongly about the decision getting his or her way. Doesn't that make much more sense? Unless your husband is smarter or better educated than you are, which, if true, ACK!!!!

You are lucky. Every few years, an issue comes up where we both feel very passionately, and do not agree. When that happens, I yield to him. The only other choice would be divorce, because there is no way we will agree. Mostly, this is about where we live and child-rearing issues.

You physically bore the children, and sounds like you SAH, but you defer to him on child rearing issues? You call him at the office to discuss day to day issues with the kids to get his direction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Head of household" PP. Can you give an example of a big decision where your husband's preference trumps your preference?

Sorry if this has been asked in the last 2 pages of sniping, which I did not read because the first 14 pages were pretty exhausting.

I've got work to do. I'm no longer wasting my time on people unable comprehend beyond their own ridged bias and ignorance.

I was actually curious. It wasn't a loaded question and I'm not the PP who is attacking you. I can think of a number of really big family decisions where there would be no way I could accept someone else's decision if I completely disagreed. My list of dealbreakers is pretty tiny, but because this isn't the way it works in my family, it's pretty much hypothetical. I was hoping that someone for whom it's NOT hypothetical could weigh in about their actual experience.

If it's something like "I preferred school X for Larla while DH preferred school Y and because he's the decider, Larla goes to school Y" that's one thing. There is a thread on Expectant Moms right now where a woman is unexpectedly pregnant after infertility and wants to keep the baby, while her husband wants her to get an abortion. I am curious as to how the "head of household" PP(s) would resolve such a dilemma.

I'll give you one that happened a few years ago. We were buying a house. We looked at dozens and could not agree. He made the final decision on the house we purchased. I hated it and he promised to make it liveable for me and I bitched a lot about it. He lived up to that promise and the entire house has been remodeled. Top to bottom. I love the house now. I just couldn't see past the horrible finishes at the time.

However, I'm not sure why all of you are freaking out over the decision thing. How often do couples really disagree? I don't know about you, but it is so incredibly rare that we strongly want to go in two separate directions. In all honesty our biggest disagreement ever in our marriage was over our wedding. I wanted to elope, he did not. I completely threw my hands up and said fine and only referred to it has his wedding. THat is the only time we had an enormous blow out, which of course made me pause and wonder if I was making the right choice.

Being head of the household is really just having the big shoulders to carry us on. Being a stand up guy who is emotionally solid, being the rock for me when I need view of steady ground when I feel like I'm bobbing in the ocean. Being the man that barrels outside with a baseball bat when someone is trying to break in (yes, that happened), advocating for our family when needed, or when my efforts have not gotten us anywhere, being the guy that will beat the contractor up for the best price and then come down on him and make him do it again when it is not done as promised.

I'm sure many of you are made of well worn and tested leather. However, I actually like having a man who can take care of shit when I don't want to expel the energy. I like having someone I can fall back on and trust that he will get it done. I'm comfortable enough with myself to allow myself to sit back sometimes and let someone else sail the ship. I don't always want the ship to have two captains, I'm happy being co. It doesn't' bruise my ego one bit.

Thank you for your answer. It sounds like you have a great marriage.

With the house example, was there a house that you liked better?

Yes, I wanted to move into a town house and he wanted nothing to do with anything other than a SFH, there was a fundamental divide. We could afford a TH that had the interior loaded with new finishes and move right in. We did not have the budget for a SFH with all the options I wanted. However, in retrospect, this SFH Is better because now the house is customized to what I want. He could have cared less about the interior. He wanted the yard for our boys, as he coaches all of their sports.

Ok I see. Your Dh was right. Perhaps he's the head of the household because he's more intelligent and/or worldly wise than you are, rather than simply because he's male.

oh burn. That was clever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they want a woman to stay home with the kids and cook, there are plenty of women who enjoy that out there, who have made the choice to do that instead of a career (but the choice is thanks to feminism).

One of the allegations in the post is that there is social pressure by feminists against women who are content with running a family.

This is my takeaway as well. I'm a feminist, but I think the feminist movement in it's current incarnation rewards women for developing traditionally masculine traits (ambition and competitiveness come to mind) while distancing itself from the "softer, gentler" feminine image. It encourages women to do well and to strive mightily in the public sphere, but seems to dismiss (or just ignore) the call of the domestic.

This post made me laugh out loud. Do you seriously think women weren't competitive and ambitious before? They were, and they were encouraged to be -- just about different things. They were encouraged to be competitive about their appearance and the appearance of their homes and their status.

I don't think the feminist movement encourages women to strive in the public sphere. I think it encourages them not to depend on anyone for subsistence.

You assume all women have the "call of the domestic" and somehow feminism urges them all to repress that. Not all women have the "call of the domestic," and feminism says that's okay, they're not less of a woman because of that.

I'm laughing now. Women are still competitive about their appearance, their home, and their status. Women are now expected to birth babies and turn into the sex kitten MILF.

You are top of your game if you have the perfect body, perfect job, picture perfect kids, and a home that is well organized and cooked from scratch dinner on the table each night.

Defined shoulders and biceps are the new symbol of a successful woman.

So you don't like feminism because it requires you to up your game?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they want a woman to stay home with the kids and cook, there are plenty of women who enjoy that out there, who have made the choice to do that instead of a career (but the choice is thanks to feminism).

One of the allegations in the post is that there is social pressure by feminists against women who are content with running a family.

This is my takeaway as well. I'm a feminist, but I think the feminist movement in it's current incarnation rewards women for developing traditionally masculine traits (ambition and competitiveness come to mind) while distancing itself from the "softer, gentler" feminine image. It encourages women to do well and to strive mightily in the public sphere, but seems to dismiss (or just ignore) the call of the domestic.

This post made me laugh out loud. Do you seriously think women weren't competitive and ambitious before? They were, and they were encouraged to be -- just about different things. They were encouraged to be competitive about their appearance and the appearance of their homes and their status.

I don't think the feminist movement encourages women to strive in the public sphere. I think it encourages them not to depend on anyone for subsistence.

You assume all women have the "call of the domestic" and somehow feminism urges them all to repress that. Not all women have the "call of the domestic," and feminism says that's okay, they're not less of a woman because of that.

I'm laughing now. Women are still competitive about their appearance, their home, and their status. Women are now expected to birth babies and turn into the sex kitten MILF.

You are top of your game if you have the perfect body, perfect job, picture perfect kids, and a home that is well organized and cooked from scratch dinner on the table each night.

Defined shoulders and biceps are the new symbol of a successful woman.

So you don't like feminism because it requires you to up your game?

Who said I don like feminism? I'm actually apathetic to it. I don't care about it.

My life and body are unattainable for the majority of women out there. I'm simply pointing out that women are still incredibly physically competitive. I was born with good genes and strong self discipline. I don't think the trend of soccer mom to sex kitten is necessarily healthy since the majority of middle aged moms wIll never again reach that status. We are now barraged with the image of mom as being fit as an athlete, with perfect hair, clothrs, and makeup. It's everywhere. You cant find me a popular image od a modern mom that's not near perfect.

Look at the questions on here from newly divorced overweight women. Pretty much people.are telling her she's fat and worthless.

[Anonymous]

Dying to know what your high powered career is, PP.