Politically Incorrect Private School Thread What Do You Really Think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Now, obviously private schools don't have FARMs but I'd venture to say at least 2% or more of their kids would be, and are there on scholarship...

The maximum income for a household with 4 people to be eligible for FARMS is $43,568.

http://www.fns.usda.gov/cnd/Governance/notices/iegs/IEG_Table-032913.pdf

I'm guessing that the great majority of kids who get financial aid in private schools come from families with household incomes too high to qualify for FARMS. But I don't know that for a fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Now, obviously private schools don't have FARMs but I'd venture to say at least 2% or more of their kids would be, and are there on scholarship...

The maximum income for a household with 4 people to be eligible for FARMS is $43,568.

http://www.fns.usda.gov/cnd/Governance/notices/iegs/IEG_Table-032913.pdf

I'm guessing that the great majority of kids who get financial aid in private schools come from families with household incomes too high to qualify for FARMS. But I don't know that for a fact.

Plus, let's not forget the huge middle of families with $50k<HHI<150K, at most 5 of whom will get full rides to your kid's private school class, but who are thronging the public schools in these areas. Private schools have more of a barbell effect: a handful of FA kids and a whole lot of really wealthy families who went to Europe about four years before our family finally managed to get ourselves to Europe.

[Anonymous]

I secretly think some private school parents are reprehensible people, based on the "let them eat cake" attitudes on this thread. Probably some of you are right wing-nuts. And that's saying a lot, coming from this private school parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10:11 put the issues really well, giving a fair hearing to both sides. We've had our kids in private and public schools, so I hope I can be equally balanced.

Yes, private schools have better specials, like art and music, and particularly in ES. Also, social studies, language and science instruction are better in private schools at the elementary level, although in public ES this varies a bit by where you live. (If you can win a public school language immersion lottery, and language is important to you, then public schools win hands down - but that's for a small minority of public school kids.) Public schools catch up by MS and HS in many of these subject areas, but it would be nice to have cultivated an interest in these when the children are younger.

For this and other reasons, public school parents are obsessed with getting into the magnet programs. Not everyone, but very many families, and particularly in the down-county consortium, see the magnets as the gold ring.

It's painful to say the next thing. Some parents see private schools as a way to help middle-of-the-road kids get into highly selective colleges. Private schools offer more individualized instruction, and great college counseling and contacts, that may help a middle-of-the-road student who might get lost at the local public mega-high school.

Public school parents are increasingly comforted by data showing that, for the same kid, entrance to highly selective colleges is as likely, or more likely, coming from a public than from a private school. Private school parents counter that their kid will be a different kid in a private school environment.

Diversity is the elephant in the room. Private school parents worry about peer group, sometimes as much or more than the things they are comfortable mentioning openly, like the "great specials" and "great writing" they at their private schools. Many private school parents think that by putting their kids in a cohort with college-bound kids they will ensure their own kids have a good attitude towards education and college. Private school parents like to think their private schools have real diversity, incuding SES diversity, because there are lots of kids of color including 2-3 low-income FA kids to provide SES diversity. But having had kids in a well-regarded area private school, I have to say that most of the minority kids were as rich, or richer, than we were. There is very little SES diversity in private schools, we need to admit this, folks.

Public school parents also secretly worry about peer group, although they won't tell you that. They worry about this until their kids get into magnet programs or find a good clique in middle and high school - or not. On the other hand, public school parents also feel that exposing their kids to real diversity, instead of the private school greenhouse environment, they will give their kids an advantage in the real world.

Now for something a little silly. Some private school parents (not all!) also think they are buying "connections" for their kids that will set them up for life. As a private school parent, I think this idea is incredibly dated. Frankly, we made some good connections as the parents in a private school, but I'm totally unconvinced our kids' classmates are going to do greater things than the kids they met in public schools.

Signed,

White parent of kids who have been in private and public magnet and immersion schools

Flame away!

Interesting and thoughtful post. I don't disagree that in many cases, the diversity is based on race/ethnicity and not income, but I do think you are understating the amount of real SES diversity at some schools (generally the ones with larger endowments). Per St. Albans' website, 26% of the students get financial aid and the median award is 67% of full tuition, with the range being up to 95%. I believe Sidwell has similar numbers (maybe even a little better). So your overall point is valid, but there's a bit more SES diversity at some schools (and that's not including many of the Catholic schools, which do even better in that regard).

As someone else pointed out the SES diversity is like a bow tie. The poor and the uber rich. As someone making 100K I would never bother applying to private schools. Those of us in the middle income brackets are hard-working, consider education extremely important, and don't tolerate drug use or excessive spending. That viewpoint would be lacking at most private schools.

LOTS of drugs in private schools

The money given to these kids (of which I was one) is incredible, and some of it is spent on expensive ways to get high.

My kids attend public.

[Anonymous]

LOTS of drugs in public schools

I went to a well-off 'W' school and there are plenty of uber-wealthy kids given money by their parents who spend it on expensive ways to get high.

My kids attend private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I laugh when public school parents try to act like it's the same experience as a private school.

I laugh at nasty private school parents like this. Particularly the really pathetic ones who are trying to convince themselves they are getting $30K in value. Thank God I don't have to deal with your type!

What about the parents who's kids are miserable in the public schools and their parents don't see the value in spending money on privates? Finding value in education is often measured in the worst ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy teenage girls are much crueler and more sophisticated in how they bully. Good luck

Don't need it. She graduated and was very happy and accepted. It's overplayed that the poor and middle class are somehow saintly in their interactions. For the most part, they're really just ghettoooo.

The poor are the new saints and the wealthy the new demons in this progressive world we live in

[Anonymous]

I think private schools or for rich, white kids. You can have LD and terrible behavior and they will support you. People of color or on financial,aid will be treated poorly at some point guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never tell this to others but one of the reasons we send DC to an elite private school is b/c we want him to get into the most elite frat, eating club, secret society, etc at an Ivy.

Some of us care about stuff like that.

I secretly think lots of the parents at our private school are first generation social climbers without any real class. My family came over on the Mayflower, so this stuff is irrelevant to me. If you think elite frat = class, you've missed the point completely.

Besides, don't send your kid to private to get into an Ivy. He'd have a better chance from Whitman.

This is akin to bragging that your family started slavery in the US. Nice!

It's actually not. Puritans were not slave owners. You must have gone to a public school.

You are now my absolute favorite poster on DCUM

[Anonymous]

Would now be the time to say that my 16 year old daughter told her public schooled cousin to "beat the stereotype, don't be it"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never tell this to others but one of the reasons we send DC to an elite private school is b/c we want him to get into the most elite frat, eating club, secret society, etc at an Ivy.

Some of us care about stuff like that.

I secretly think lots of the parents at our private school are first generation social climbers without any real class. My family came over on the Mayflower, so this stuff is irrelevant to me. If you think elite frat = class, you've missed the point completely.

Besides, don't send your kid to private to get into an Ivy. He'd have a better chance from Whitman.

This is akin to bragging that your family started slavery in the US. Nice!

It's actually not. Puritans were not slave owners. You must have gone to a public school.

Not PP, but i did go to public. And Harvard. And my parents didn't buy my spot. Moron.

Exactly why I would never pay for a Harvard education. Your statement about slavery was probably one of the most ignorant statements I've ever heard on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never tell this to others but one of the reasons we send DC to an elite private school is b/c we want him to get into the most elite frat, eating club, secret society, etc at an Ivy.

Some of us care about stuff like that.

I secretly think lots of the parents at our private school are first generation social climbers without any real class. My family came over on the Mayflower, so this stuff is irrelevant to me. If you think elite frat = class, you've missed the point completely.

Besides, don't send your kid to private to get into an Ivy. He'd have a better chance from Whitman.

DS will be the fifth generation in our family to attend the Ivy and the fourth to join the same club... family tradition matters to us.

Currently DS attends public - the first person ever to attend public school. Gasp! He is in elementary school but will be switching over to the same private school for middle school that his grandfather attended and then to the private high school that his father, uncles, and his grandfather went to.

What if he doesn't want to go to that Ivy?

[Anonymous]

I think that while both public and private school kids do wind up at first rate colleges, private school kids are better prepared for the experience.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never tell this to others but one of the reasons we send DC to an elite private school is b/c we want him to get into the most elite frat, eating club, secret society, etc at an Ivy.

Some of us care about stuff like that.

I secretly think lots of the parents at our private school are first generation social climbers without any real class. My family came over on the Mayflower, so this stuff is irrelevant to me. If you think elite frat = class, you've missed the point completely.

Besides, don't send your kid to private to get into an Ivy. He'd have a better chance from Whitman.

This is akin to bragging that your family started slavery in the US. Nice!

It's actually not. Puritans were not slave owners. You must have gone to a public school.

Not PP, but i did go to public. And Harvard. And my parents didn't buy my spot. Moron.

Exactly why I would never pay for a Harvard education. Your statement about slavery was probably one of the most ignorant statements I've ever heard on DCUM.

You may want to reconsider Harvard. The statement that you believe to be "one of the most ignorant" you've ever heard on DCUM was accurate.

[Anonymous]

This thread is a great reminder why we don't want to send our kids to private even though our HHI is 500K on one salary. Every once in awhile I get an urge to check them out, and the next time I do I will think of this thread. Unless things become dire, we are staying put.