Politically Incorrect Private School Thread What Do You Really Think?

[Anonymous]

I was a lifer.

The local public schools were quite terrible (think urban public schools circa 1980s). Because of this just about all the kids in my neighborhood were lifers at private schools.

Looking back at my HS class, there was no greater odds of being dumb or a druggie if you were a lifer or came in 6th or 9th grades.

Anonymous wrote:
Private school "lifers" (pre-K through 12) are usually kind of dumb. Either rich kids who just paid for their diploma or "FA faculty kids who get preferential admissions. The kid who is the drug dealer of the class is usually also a "lifer." The kid
Who has major learning disabilities and lots
Of tutors, usually a "lifer." The kids who come in middle/high school are usually better academically, but lack family connections."

I agree in general that the kids who come in later have a stronger/longer academic record for the school to review. But generalizations about bad behavior is wrong because even really smart kids do stupid things, especially those trying to fit in. The kids who come into middle school with stellar records are trying to emerge from a crowd of similarly qualified candidates. Family connections and ability to donate are well represented.

[Anonymous]

PP

And yes, I went to an Ivy for college and have a professional degree from another Ivy. FYI I don't judge people on where they went to college either. I've been exposed to too many people who have come from all sorts of circumstances to make any broad judgements.

[Anonymous]

I think private school kids live in a sheltered bubble that doesn't prepare them for the real world.

[Anonymous]

Can also say that about affluent public high schools. Frankly, you can say that about many middle class public schools too.

Anonymous wrote:I think private school kids live in a sheltered bubble that doesn't prepare them for the real world.

[Anonymous]

Really, you can bash anything. Private school is a protective bubble! Good public schools are homogeneous suburban nightmares! But if you move to school "more like the real world" you will soon hear, "How awful that you subject your child to subpar classes and bad behavior! Do you want your child beat up in the hallway?"

In the end, everyone's world is a small corner of reality. There are many ways to enlarge your perspective, and that only happens when you make an effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think private school kids live in a sheltered bubble that doesn't prepare them for the real world.

I disagree. I have this argument all the time with my mother-in-law. There are different versions of the real world. There is the real world where people live from paycheck to paycheck and might find an open air drug market outside of their front door (what my mother-in-law was referring to), and the version where you conduct business at your country club with the fiends you met at prep school (what I was referring to). Both are real and exist concurrently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that people's opinions on this are highly influenced by the fact that that are spending large amounts of money on it.

I agree, and I think the bias goes both ways.

Private schools parents are doing what they think is best for their children, and investing lots of money in their children, so they obviously have strong feelings that private school is best for them. Private school parents secretly fear they are wasting their money, and don't want to hear public school parents telling them they're foolish to pay for private school. When public school parents talk about what a great value the public schools are, even if they don't explicitly comment on private schools at all, it gets the private school parents defensive and insecure about their decisions.

Public school parents are also highly focused on what is best for their children, and are doing what they think is best, so they obviously have strong feelings that public school is best for them. Public school parents secretly fear they are not giving their children the best opportunity, and don't want to hear private school parents telling them the private schools are better for kids. When private school parents talk about how great their private schools are, even if they don't explicitly comment on public schools at all, it gets the public school parents defensive and insecure about their decisions.

Both groups of parents love their children equally, and are doing what they think is best for them. But both have insecurities, and second-guess their decisions.

No one knows for sure which is "better" for kids, or whether the cost of private school is worth it. A lot depends on the particular kid. Also, the cost of private school hits some families harder than others. Some can afford it without too much stress, so they can choose without much cost consideration. For others, the cost is a big % of income, so it's a lot closer decision. And for many, even if they really believe private school is better, they simply cannot afford it.

Thank you for this thoughtful post. I tell people that there is a lot of wheat amongst the chaff on DCUM, but they don't believe me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the people who live in million dollar homes, drive luxury clothes, and drive luxury cars yet still send their kids to public school. There, I said it.

This is really common in the last 10 years or so in my neighborhood (CCDC / Friendship Hts).

Family of 4 buys a $1.3 million colonial, adds a $450,000, 2-story addition, adds landscape lighting and a $50K patio/fire pit business in the back and .... slaps a Murch mustangs bumper sticker on the back of the brand-new Audi SUV. Go, Mustangs!

That's sort of us. It's a good life!

[Anonymous]

OP -- to answer your question -- my very politically incorrect view is I love elitism and I hate public schools.