Politically Incorrect Private School Thread What Do You Really Think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a seriously marginal neighborhood so we can afford to send our kids to private school. Why? Because if we bought into an expensive neighborhood, we'd then be locked into that school – and if it didn't work out, would be screwed. If our private school doesn't work out, we can send them to a different private school.

We made a similar choice, although our neighborhood schools are good. We just preferred to keep our options open so didn't go all-in at the highest-rated schools. Not only can schools change (a local middle school has gone from "do not send your children there, ever" to "a great up and coming school" in the past 10 years, and a local elementary has gone from "fantastic!" to "ehhhh, it's ok") during a child's years, but different children have different needs. We under bought in terms of what we could afford to give us general life flexibility and that extends to our educational choices for our children.

Thank goodness we did, since public turned out to be a total nightmare. We had choices, we could fix the problem. I know too many people who deal with "well, the 3rd grade teacher was worthless, but the 4th grade teacher has been great!" Ok, I suppose you can accept that your child's enduring a complete waste of time for a year, as long as the child's not being mistreated, but I find that unacceptable.

I do wish we lived in an area with more school choice at the public level. Had we been able to change public schools (without moving), we probably would have tried that remedy before going private.

See, this PP and the first PP sound perfectly reasonable. The vast majority of families make these tradeoffs: neighborhood vs. house size vs. private school. Only the rare few can buy a million dollar house AND pay private school tuition. What's nuts is criticizing people who make different tradeoffs for their families. That's the point of the thread, right? Make your own choices, be comfortable with them, and don't second-guess everybody else's choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is an all-new thought I'll share about why we like our private school and avoid our decently performing public -- we are pleased to avoid all the disruptive, impulsive, "handy", overly talkative, overly "active" kids that go public in our neighborhood. And of course, they all have IEPs and receive accommodations -- of which I am certain because their moms talk about this on the sidelines during sports, etc.

Someone will surely point out to me "why, there are TONS! of ADHD kids in privates!!!!!" Maybe, but to them I'd respond that the disruptive ones don't seem to make it past the door of our kid's school. In fact I can name four random neighbor families where the parents send one of their kids to my kid's private and one of their other kids -- the one I know firsthand to be a behavioral challenge -- to a ward 3 dcps so kid #2 gets services and accommodations.

I am happy to be able to buy our way out of that for the formative years.

Maybe you have kids at PRIVATE !!! school, but I DOUBT it 'cause TONS and TONS of people know that this kind of grammar is pretty low rent !!!

As do I. That's why I, the PP, am mocking it.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I secretly wonder if I am not shortchanging my kids in public. But I was raised middle class, and want my kids to feel middle class, not at the lower end of the social spectrum. I believe feeling on equal terms with schoolmates is as important as the academics...that the social fit reduces stress and allows the child to focus on academics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never tell this to others but one of the reasons we send DC to an elite private school is b/c we want him to get into the most elite frat, eating club, secret society, etc at an Ivy.

Some of us care about stuff like that.

+100000

And why effin not? Why's it SO horrif if DC does this? Good for you!

It's notnhorrible if they do it, but i don't understand why anyone would care. DH and I were both ivy (covered 3 ivys between us with grad school), and it never seemed to us that the "elite" frat or secret society (not very secret) made any difference in success or opportunities. It can be fun though, i'm sure. Is that the reason you want it? We didn't go to princeton, and i suspect the eating clubs are important. Personally, that always seemed awful to me, though.

We want it b/c it's family tradition (not politically correct at all on DCUM) and we really care about that stuff which is kind of embarrassing to admit. It's made a lot of difference in the opportunities DC will have: I knew where he'll intern in high school and college before he was born. It's also a lot of fun too...

I suspect that many of you think your kids are status symbols, vehicles to make you, the parents, look good. Also, you will value your kids more if they get into Princeton eating clubs, and less if they don't. Your kids know this, too.

Yup, and because I choose to spend money on their education instead of the usual status symbols like cars, houses, handbags, etc. I value my kids only for their achievements unlike the people who choose public schools who flash their houses, cars, handbags... and could care less about Princeton eating clubs and such.

[Anonymous]

Okay, I'm calling troll on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I'm calling troll on this one.

Took you awhile.... but not everything is what it seems. You'll be surprised.

[Anonymous]

My children have done private and public and I have a child in private now but will probably do public for hs. I think it is more humane/ I do not see the right private school for my kid. The all boys would not be his thing, Sidwell is hard for the sake of being hard, Maret is too small. Maybe GDs would work. But I have to admit I just do not see the benefit. I see tradeoffs but not really benefits. I know many kids at dc privates get burned out. I do not want that to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My children have done private and public and I have a child in private now but will probably do public for hs. I think it is more humane/ I do not see the right private school for my kid. The all boys would not be his thing, Sidwell is hard for the sake of being hard, Maret is too small. Maybe GDs would work. But I have to admit I just do not see the benefit. I see tradeoffs but not really benefits. I know many kids at dc privates get burned out. I do not want that to happen.

You are looking at a really small pool of privates. There are tons of great schools in DC. Look beyond the Big 3, and you'll probably find a good fit for your son. My kids are in great small privates that have rigorous academics, balanced with a rich complement of extracurriculars. They definitely would not fit in to the pressure cooker schools like the Big 3.

[Anonymous]

I'll never understand the parents who send their kids to McLean or Bethesda or Potomac type public schools and then criticize private school parents for not exposing their children to diversity, FARMs kids, etc. Seriously, you live in Potomac. Not exactly brimming with socioeconomic and racial diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children have done private and public and I have a child in private now but will probably do public for hs. I think it is more humane/ I do not see the right private school for my kid. The all boys would not be his thing, Sidwell is hard for the sake of being hard, Maret is too small. Maybe GDs would work. But I have to admit I just do not see the benefit. I see tradeoffs but not really benefits. I know many kids at dc privates get burned out. I do not want that to happen.

You are looking at a really small pool of privates. There are tons of great schools in DC. Look beyond the Big 3, and you'll probably find a good fit for your son. My kids are in great small privates that have rigorous academics, balanced with a rich complement of extracurriculars. They definitely would not fit in to the pressure cooker schools like the Big 3.

Different PP here. You have a point about stress at the top privates, and we actually know parents who choose Bullis over Sidwell for this reason (as Dave Barry would say, I'm not making this up and the kid was accepted at both schools). But a recurring question on DCUM is, are some of these second-tier privates really better than the local publics combined with using part of the $30K to buy music lessons and trips to exotic places? I don't want to get into a name-throwing. But I think it's legitimate to ask what you're buying in terms of academic quality. At the second tier privates, it becomes more of an issue of small class sizes and nurturing environment, which is a great thing for kids who need it, but that's not every kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand the parents who send their kids to McLean or Bethesda or Potomac type public schools and then criticize private school parents for not exposing their children to diversity, FARMs kids, etc. Seriously, you live in Potomac. Not exactly brimming with socioeconomic and racial diversity.

But Potomac public schools have more diversity than at the private schools in these areas. Let's not pretend otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yup, and because I choose to spend money on their education instead of the usual status symbols like cars, houses, handbags, etc. I value my kids only for their achievements unlike the people who choose public schools who flash their houses, cars, handbags... and could care less about Princeton eating clubs and such.

Please, you've beaten this meme to death, and you've been rebutted several times. Various posters have explained that many of us are middle class, that some of us bought million dollar houses for the school district, and that foregoing a few Kate Spade bags and even a new Prius every year isn't going to miraculously free up another $35K or $70K for private school. Drop it, already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yup, and because I choose to spend money on their education instead of the usual status symbols like cars, houses, handbags, etc. I value my kids only for their achievements unlike the people who choose public schools who flash their houses, cars, handbags... and could care less about Princeton eating clubs and such.

Please, you've beaten this meme to death, and you've been rebutted several times. Various posters have explained that many of us are middle class, that some of us bought million dollar houses for the school district, and that foregoing a few Kate Spade bags and even a new Prius every year isn't going to miraculously free up another $35K or $70K for private school. Drop it, already.

My really nice house in a great public school district was a fixer-upper. We bought both our foreign cars off Craig's List. First PP, stop assuming we're both equity partners and that sending our two kids to Sidwell would be easy-peasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand the parents who send their kids to McLean or Bethesda or Potomac type public schools and then criticize private school parents for not exposing their children to diversity, FARMs kids, etc. Seriously, you live in Potomac. Not exactly brimming with socioeconomic and racial diversity.

But Potomac public schools have more diversity than at the private schools in these areas. Let's not pretend otherwise.

Walt Whitman High School
72% White
2% FARMs

GDS
62% white

Sidwell
60% white

NCS
66% white

Holton
59% white

Now, obviously private schools don't have FARMs but I'd venture to say at least 2% or more of their kids would be, and are there on scholarship...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand the parents who send their kids to McLean or Bethesda or Potomac type public schools and then criticize private school parents for not exposing their children to diversity, FARMs kids, etc. Seriously, you live in Potomac. Not exactly brimming with socioeconomic and racial diversity.

I never thought I'd be defending Bethesda or Potomac for socioeconomic and racial diversity, but:

Bethesda-Chevy Chase High School is 57% white, and 19% of the students either are now on FARMS or have been on FARMS in the past. Churchill High School is 56% white. Even Whitman High School is only 70% white. How does that compare to the various tiers of private schools?