Signs your child is on the verge of being "Counseled Out" top private

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And what about the kid who's quiet, who's doing fine academically with minimal supports, but is physically slower than the rest and gets picked on?
What about the parents who spend $35K on their child's education to have him or her counseled out because they just don't fit a mould? I knew a kid who was counseled out because he didn't like sports.
As evidenced by the comments here, everyone will assume a child that's been counseled out has been all of the above--disruptive to a class, a major drain on resources, etc. Clearly there is a stigma associated with being asked to leave.
Most parents of kids who have been counseled out wouldn't have cared at all if their child hadn't been accepted in the first place. But advocating for your child in private school--yeah, what kind of sick, selfish, deluded person would do that?

I'm sure it was more than just disliking sports... Top private schools put their emphasis on academics not sports and they don't care if their students "like" sports or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here, only read the first few pages, but...
Why is it so controversial to say that if a child's behavior consistently does not meet minimum standards at a private institution then the child will not be permitted to return?

Every child, even those struggling with behavior challenges, has a right to an education, but not everyone has a right to an education at a specific private school.

I don't care whether the family is full-pay or full-scholarship, whether the child's skin is one color or another, who daddy/mom/grandparent/etc is, or any other factor mentioned on this thread -- if a child consistently cannot meet age and grade appropriate behavior standards as defined by the school, then the child should not be permitted to continue to attend.

If my child's behavior is inappropriate in a public place and correcting the behavior hasn't worked, we leave and go home because she has lost the privilege to be wherever we were since I won't allow her to infringe on others' rights. This is what most people say responsible parents should do, so why is the standard different for a school parents are paying to provide the best possible education for their children?

Clearly my view is not in line with the consensus on DCUM, so could someone please help me understand what I'm missing in thinking this way?

You're absolutely right. The problem is some people have such an entitled attitiude and they spedn all day pushing the envelop in theri professional work without getting called on the carpet, no one says " No" to these people and its gotten to the point where there is no community any more, jus " me" me " me" , mine, mine , mine. " I ant, " I want " I want " I am going to get" I will get " " I have"

Out of control

[Anonymous]

This subject reminded me of a frightening trend I have now seen at the schools discussed regularly on this site: African-American boys being counseled out. Boys seem to struggle with sitting with their hands in their lap as it is, add sports and competition and a natural tendency to need to move and they are set-up for little room to grow. This matched with overly effected parents and, in some cases, teachers who don't have a handle on how to work with boys. I don't know why, but the first to be moved out are the AA boys. I have seen six in early grades over three schools in the past four years. That's an alarming rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This subject reminded me of a frightening trend I have now seen at the schools discussed regularly on this site: African-American boys being counseled out. Boys seem to struggle with sitting with their hands in their lap as it is, add sports and competition and a natural tendency to need to move and they are set-up for little room to grow. This matched with overly effected parents and, in some cases, teachers who don't have a handle on how to work with boys. I don't know why, but the first to be moved out are the AA boys. I have seen six in early grades over three schools in the past four years. That's an alarming rate.

Can you elaborate on what you mean by the bolded ? I don't see how "needing to move around and sports and competition" is a situation unique to AA boys. Some boys get positive reinforcement from classmates through sports and enjoy sports apart from that . These boys are both white and black.

Other boys don't like sports and thse boys are both white an black. so , how do we get from being hyper with poor social skills to just needing more sports time and what does that have to do with race ?

Sorry, but it sounds like you are saying if an AA boy does not behaive well , its not their behavior, its that the school is racist. Com eon, that's weak….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]My SPD daughter has had an audiological evaluation, a full psycho-educational evaluation, and has met with a psychiatrist and a speech language pathologist. She does not meet the diagnostic criteria for autism, a learning difference, ADHD, or a language disorder.
She's meeting now with yet another psychologist.[/b]
She does have hypotonia and is sensitive to clothing and loud sounds.
A lot of negative assumptions are being made out me (that I'm in denial and not committed to understanding my daughter's needs) and about my daughter (that she must have a whole host of problems I'm not mentioning) based on the fact that she's being counseled out, which, as I said before, makes the experience of being counseled out that much more damaging.
And again, we are looking for other schools. She may very well have to go to public.

HELLO.

I was at Child's Play the other day and at the cash register they were selling as a last minute "impulse item you just must have" , this:

Smooth fabric tape "for covering tags and seems and stop all itching and discomfort"

What's next ? floating through life….my god, the world has lost its mind.

Your tag itches , you don't like it, fine CUT…. or how about this, " that is a very nice blouse and I work hard to buy nice clothes for you….It's unacceptable that you dont show more appreciation for your things and if you continue to complain I just won't buy these nice things anymore". Translation: don't tell me it itches, deal with it.

Most likley they will

Thre's a concept

[Anonymous]

My child not enrolled in an independent school in DC, but I have heard of a trend of counseling out AA boys as well. Hopefully, that trend is less prevalent than 15+ years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]My SPD daughter has had an audiological evaluation, a full psycho-educational evaluation, and has met with a psychiatrist and a speech language pathologist. She does not meet the diagnostic criteria for autism, a learning difference, ADHD, or a language disorder.
She's meeting now with yet another psychologist.[/b]
She does have hypotonia and is sensitive to clothing and loud sounds.
A lot of negative assumptions are being made out me (that I'm in denial and not committed to understanding my daughter's needs) and about my daughter (that she must have a whole host of problems I'm not mentioning) based on the fact that she's being counseled out, which, as I said before, makes the experience of being counseled out that much more damaging.
And again, we are looking for other schools. She may very well have to go to public.

HELLO.

I was at Child's Play the other day and at the cash register they were selling as a last minute "impulse item you just must have" , this:

Smooth fabric tape "for covering tags and seems and stop all itching and discomfort"

What's next ? floating through life….my god, the world has lost its mind.

Your tag itches , you don't like it, fine CUT…. or how about this, " that is a very nice blouse and I work hard to buy nice clothes for you….It's unacceptable that you dont show more appreciation for your things and if you continue to complain I just won't buy these nice things anymore". Translation: don't tell me it itches, deal with it.

Most likley they will

Thre's a concept

Why on Earth would you care that someone else's child can do this little thing to be more comfortable?

Have you ever felt uncomfortable by a seam or tag? I have, not often, but I have. I think this tape sounds like a nifty invention.

Seriously, are you always this judgmental over such stupid little stuff?

[Anonymous]

It's a PRIVATE school. PRIVATE schools make the decisions that they want to make. PRIVATE schools draft their own rules and policies, and if you don't like them you can leave. If you sign up for PRIVATE school, you are volunteering to take your chances. No private school says this, of course, but every single one of them means it. OP, you placed your DC in an environment in which exclusionary conduct and bullying are not simply tolerated, they're celebrated as the real purpose of the PRIVATE institution. Yes, PRIVATE schools do this. If you want it done to you, stay in PRIVATE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a PRIVATE school. PRIVATE schools make the decisions that they want to make. PRIVATE schools draft their own rules and policies, and if you don't like them you can leave. If you sign up for PRIVATE school, you are volunteering to take your chances. No private school says this, of course, but every single one of them means it. OP, you placed your DC in an environment in which exclusionary conduct and bullying are not simply tolerated, they're celebrated as the real purpose of the PRIVATE institution. Yes, PRIVATE schools do this. If you want it done to you, stay in PRIVATE.

You're a very sad little person. I don't understand why you frequent the independent forum when it is so obvious from all your rants you are a public school parent. Why are you here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a PRIVATE school. PRIVATE schools make the decisions that they want to make. PRIVATE schools draft their own rules and policies, and if you don't like them you can leave. If you sign up for PRIVATE school, you are volunteering to take your chances. No private school says this, of course, but every single one of them means it. OP, you placed your DC in an environment in which exclusionary conduct and bullying are not simply tolerated, they're celebrated as the real purpose of the PRIVATE institution. Yes, PRIVATE schools do this. If you want it done to you, stay in PRIVATE.

Are you suggesting that counseling out a student is "exclusionary conduct and bullying"? That seems to be the tone of your post, and I completely disagree. If I have misinterpreted your point please feel free to ignore the rest of this post, with my apologies for the misunderstanding.

1. If the counseling out is done as a response to a child's continued poor behavior then it is neither bullying nor unfairly excluding the child; instead it is a natural consequence of the child's own choices.
1a) If the child has a disability or other medical reason underlying his/her inappropriate behavior and the school is counseling him/her out for it, then it is obvious that the school is not the correct environment to meet the child's needs. I would want my child in an environment where she could be the most successful, and if her current school was not it then I certainly would not consider leaving the school as being bullied or excluded.

2. If the counseling out is done as a response to poor grades/a child's continued failure to meet academic standards then it is simply acknowledging the fact that this particular school is not a good match for the student. If he/she is either not taking education seriously or not capable of achieving success within the school environment and what resources it can provide how is it bullying to send the student elsewhere?

3. If the counseling out is for other reasons that make the child not a good fit for the school, how is that any more exclusionary than any other private organization? Most of us who belong to groups, clubs, or institutions are aware that these entities have certain expectations of their members. If you do not meet the expectations of the institution, you are no longer eligible for membership/participation. I don't view that as bullying; I view it as a normal part of life.

I'm always open to engaging in a polite and interesting debate such as the one your post might start, but you seem very angry and resentful about the concept of private education. Perhaps there are are other forums besides the private/independent schools forum on which you would feel more comfortable.

[Anonymous]

I think someone just got counseled out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think someone just got counseled out.

And if the child is anything like the parent, it's obvious why they are no longer welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a PRIVATE school. PRIVATE schools make the decisions that they want to make. PRIVATE schools draft their own rules and policies, and if you don't like them you can leave. If you sign up for PRIVATE school, you are volunteering to take your chances. No private school says this, of course, but every single one of them means it. OP, you placed your DC in an environment in which exclusionary conduct and bullying are not simply tolerated, they're celebrated as the real purpose of the PRIVATE institution. Yes, PRIVATE schools do this. If you want it done to you, stay in PRIVATE.

Are you suggesting that counseling out a student is "exclusionary conduct and bullying"? That seems to be the tone of your post, and I completely disagree. If I have misinterpreted your point please feel free to ignore the rest of this post, with my apologies for the misunderstanding.

1. If the counseling out is done as a response to a child's continued poor behavior then it is neither bullying nor unfairly excluding the child; instead it is a natural consequence of the child's own choices.
1a) If the child has a disability or other medical reason underlying his/her inappropriate behavior and the school is counseling him/her out for it, then it is obvious that the school is not the correct environment to meet the child's needs. I would want my child in an environment where she could be the most successful, and if her current school was not it then I certainly would not consider leaving the school as being bullied or excluded.

2. If the counseling out is done as a response to poor grades/a child's continued failure to meet academic standards then it is simply acknowledging the fact that this particular school is not a good match for the student. If he/she is either not taking education seriously or not capable of achieving success within the school environment and what resources it can provide how is it bullying to send the student elsewhere?

3. If the counseling out is for other reasons that make the child not a good fit for the school, how is that any more exclusionary than any other private organization? Most of us who belong to groups, clubs, or institutions are aware that these entities have certain expectations of their members. If you do not meet the expectations of the institution, you are no longer eligible for membership/participation. I don't view that as bullying; I view it as a normal part of life.

I'm always open to engaging in a polite and interesting debate such as the one your post might start, but you seem very angry and resentful about the concept of private education. Perhaps there are are other forums besides the private/independent schools forum on which you would feel more comfortable.

PP was just counseled out of this forum!

We hope you find a forum that is a better fit for your unique skills and abilities, and one where you can be successful. Good luck, PP. Don't let the door hit your tushie on the way out.

[Anonymous]

I thought the 14:43 post was actually pretty on point.

[Anonymous]

Funny, sometimes there are teachers who struggle to manage a classroom. Sometimes there is a bad fit between the teacher and student. The notion of counseling out rather than helping the student is really crazy to me and absolutely will be influenced by the sort of implicit biases that teachers have.Terrible.