Whose fault is that? Your husband can't turn back the clock, but you could have thought twice before you married someone much older. |
Not PP but give me a break. Do you really think life is always so simple? |
I have no complex about my age. But you are rigid and can't seem to meet halfway. FWIW, I share an office with a woman in her early 30s who just had a baby. At 45, I have two under the age of 8. Our personal conversations are great, as is our working relationship. I've always had friends much younger, much older, and w/in my same peer group. You have a weird way of looking at numbers. So before you go ahead and talk about "these women," examine yourself and your word choice. odd that you'd think a 44 would have little patience to listen to what a 27 yo considers important . . You must know that a 44 yo was once 27. So there is wisdom that comes with age and experience. Hopefully, you'll get there. Did you study argument in high school or college? Anyone can take your words and use them against you. It's actually quite easy! BTW - you have nothing in common with "these women" b/c YOU choose to remain aloof and arrogant, honey. Good luck growing older; I suspect you'll hit some major obstacles b/c of your lack of people skills. |
never said life was simple But don't you think that complaining at this stage is useless? Shouldn't you know that if your husband is a good 10 to 15 years older than you that you'd outlive him? My mom did, and not once did she complain when he died, knowing that he spent very little time with his grandkids. She understood her situation from the start. I don't get this. You make your own bed! Deal! |
I don't think that poster was complainng! She was just sharing! I'm sure she's just fine. You are annoying! |
I would say neither older nor younger. |
No, because then his father would have been the my asshole X-BF rather then DH. I didn't meet DH until 30, got married at 32, had DS at 34. |
I was 26 and still single. X and I almost married, but realized we would not have a good marriage and now co-parent between 2 households. We are def paycheck to paycheck but still solidly middle class. I will start graduate school later. Travelled the world after DC was born (with and without DC) and still doing so. Daycare bill ends this Fall! I had DC at the perfect time for me. I might end up an younger and older mom, since I am single and looking for a marriage-minded guy. I am from the area, so I have lots of family support and "me" time. I save for emergencies, retirement, and college, have my own home, and make well under 100K. Even if I had been married, I wouldnt have waited until I had $$$ to have kids. I come from a working class background and never felt deprived.
I feel fortunate that DC and my parents (late 40s) are extremely close (she's with my mom now), that my grandparents are still around to see DC regularly, and that I was able to have a child. Blaming women for waiting is just useless. Life happens. More men are opting to marry later. What are women supposed to do, marry themselves? Many of us wont meet the right guy til later. If X and I had married, we'd no doubt have two kids already and be done by 30. But it would be a dysfunctional marriage. I'm just thankful we've both turned out to be good parents. In an ideal world, I'd have married at 25, first kid at 26, second at 29, and another at 32. I'm happy with my life today. |
Older is over 35-The age when the ob starts recommending additional testing because, due to advanced maternal age, there is a higher risk of congenital defects. It is just a medical fact that you are an "older mom" at that point, regardless of the culture of the city you live in. |
no You're just easily annoyed by the truth. |
I had my first at age 34 also. My mother died when she was a year old. Mom was only 61. There are no guarantees. I certainly don't wish I had kids younger, when I wasn't mature and settled, just so my kids could have known my mother. |
You misunderstand my point- I'm not making fun of these women for being old. I'm just remarking on the fairly D.C.-centric phenomenon of women in their early-mid 40s having toddlers. It's definitely not like that in many other areas of the country- women here just tend to have kids later, so I was agreeing with the PP quoted that we live in an odd area where it's equally common to see a 27 year old and a 43 year old with children the same age. As to the PP who asked if I work- I have no idea why the answer to that question would be at all relevant to my comment. I can't see you having a high powered career if you're only 27 and already have a toddler. If you do, my apologies. If you don't, you can't really understand what you are calling the DC-centric phenomenon of late child bearing. |
11:36, I have to defend the poster you were quoting. I'm 45; many of my son's friends' moms are 37 or 38. We don't have much in common, because they married their first serious boyfriend and don't have careers. I had my child almost ten years later, am well traveled, have a career and more financial stability. You are different if you have your first child at 27 versus 35 (unless you totally waste those extra 8 years). |
I had my first at 26 and ended up having four more after that. My oldest is now 20 and I can't imagine chasing toddlers around, but everyone's different. |
I had my first at 28 and my second at 31 (I am 32 now). I have a career that I enjoy very much and while it isn't high-powered it pays the bills. I traveled quite a bit for work and for fun before kids. I am friends with numerous 40 year old moms and we have tons in common. They are aging awesome, I think having the young kids help. Everyone should be glad they had their kids when they had them, because if not you wouldn't have the kids you have. |