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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
SAHMs - what made you decide to SAH? Question from new SAHM
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Anonymous
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Mental Note for Thanksgiving : Tell my kids and my adult grandchildren that they can't possibly be amazing because their mothers worked..
Aren't most SAHMs supported by MEN? Is that something to brag about? |
Anonymous
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"It seems a lot of this is coming from bored SAHMs who need to justify their decisions? Why not just live your lives and be happy with your choices? "
I'm shocked to learn how many ignorant teachers there are. |
Anonymous
| Why feel sorry for all WOHMs? My husband makes over $200k a year. I could SAH if I wanted to, but I have no interest. The luckiest moms are those who have choices. |
Anonymous
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"I stay home because I enjoy being at home with my children more than I enjoyed my career, and because we can afford it. I like having lots of time, I like not being hurried or stressed, I like being able to plan my own schedule and pursue my own interests, and it works better for our family to have one parent at home."
Very nice post, thank you. |
Anonymous
Agree. I have no angst about being a WM. I didn't choose to live and work in the DC area so I could stay home. No problem with folks who want to stay home, and really no judgment (I really don't care what other families do and assume they are doing what ever works besst at the time) but I think this area is a great place to be a WM. Tons of job opportunities and we are hardly the minority here so tons of resources too. |
Anonymous
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"Why are you all ganging up on the teachers? What part of "personal experience" do you not understand? Do you make all of your choices based on scientific data? Or do your personal experiences weigh into your decisions and opinions? I know you are trying to sound intelligent, but you sound stupid because you can't grasp that simple concept. "
No, I don't make my important decisions based ONLY on my personal experience. That's not very intellectual or rational. The decision to SAH or work part or full time is not 100% an emotional decision based on feelings or personal experience. It's a financial, logistical decision too, involving both parents, not just Mom. |
Anonymous
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Money and parents' education levels are the biggest determining factors in how well children do in school. Not whether a mom SAH or WOH.
It was a hard decision for me, but I decided to WOH because 1) I am in a field (tenure-track academia) where once you derail, it is very, very hard to come back 2) I love my job 3) On-campus childcare was available 4) Hours are flexible 5) I did not want DH to have the sole financial burden in our family. If DH lost his job, at least I can provide health insurance. I do not have a problem with one parent staying home--it makes life much easier in many ways. I do hate that in almost all circumstances, it's the woman. Even if she has the same educational levels and similar earning power (e.g., two attorneys)--it's the mom who stays at home even when the children are no longer nursing. |
Anonymous
| 10:26 from Nov 20, thoughtful post. One comment on having "decades" to work - you must be in your twenties or early thirties. If you have kids just before the highest earning years of your career, it's not that easy to just opt out. I'll be 55 when my youngest graduates from high school - not exactly the time in life to be heading back to a high powered job. |
Anonymous
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"we can afford it"
How nice for you. |
Anonymous
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"Why are you all ganging up on the teachers? "
Are you kidding? |
Anonymous
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"Come on, most people have some sort of opinion about whether kids do better with a sah or working mom."
I don't. I think it depends on family dynamics, the kids' personalities, the desires of the parents, the overall financial situation, to name a few factors. Example: my mother was a SAHM from the time I was born until I was in grad school. Great for me and my siblings, bad for her personally and terrible for her marriage. Now that I'm the mom, I see that I would be prone to depression if I SAH like my mom was, so I try to figure out what I enjoyed about having a SAHM and give my kids some of those benefits. Also, even if my kids would do "better" with me as a SAHM, I would be worse off personally, so who could say if they would really be "better" overall? Don't you think most people mature enough to procreate are able to have nuanced opinions on this topic? |
Anonymous
How is a teacher ignorant if they happen to notice that their better performing students have sahms? |
Anonymous
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"Don't you think most people mature enough to procreate are able to have nuanced opinions on this topic? "
Obviously, not. |
Anonymous
Are you not aware that the majority of sahms do typically send their kids to a part-time pre-school? I had my children in a MDO (Mom's Day Out) program starting at 6 months. We also did playgroups, gymboree, and numerous other activities outside of the house. Do people really believe that most children of sahm's are sitting at home in front of the TV all day? |
Anonymous
Ignorant that their anecdotal experience is just that. Ignorant that the majority of studies show that income and educational levels are more important than SAH vs WOTH. |