My daughter is really disappointed

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

How many supplements did she write?

34. -OP

Interesting that all 34 schools required supplements. I thought some you mentioned do not, but regardless, could she go back and look at the "Why Us?" essay for the ones she was accepted to and see if she was telling the truth in any of them? It's weird that she applied to schools where she didn't actually want to attend, yet their applications require a lot of extra work. Were the "Why Us" essays credible at all?

To her, no school is truly perfect—even her favorites have downsides. But most of the schools she applied to have qualities she likes, which is what she wrote about. -OP

Well she's right then. No school is perfect, including the ones she was rejected from/waitlisted at. Time to look at the qualities she liked in the ones she was accepted to, and prioritize which of them are most important. This is part of the process. I'm the PP who wrote about Brown. She should give it a closer look in my opinion. Concerns about "quality of education" are misguided.

She’s just worried about job opportunities coming from Brown because of it being known for an open curriculum. I can try and tell her to look at the positives, but she still feels defeated and worthless because she didn’t get into a top school. -OP

It sounds like you agree with her, that she’s worthless because she didn’t get into Yale? Is that it OP?

I hate that these schools made my daughter feel this way. She’s more than qualified, but now she says she doesn’t want to go to college anymore and just wants to stay home because she didn’t get into the schools she wanted. She’s not being a jerk—it was just the expectation based on her stats. If she had been rejected outright, she probably would’ve felt better by now and have committed to schools like Brown or Northwestern. But the waitlists make her obsess over the 'what ifs,' and that’s why she’s crying every day, even at school. -OP

Nope. That's an emotion she has to own

[Anonymous]

My kid would have given their left arm to get into Dartmouth this yr. Both parents went there, sister goes there, has a 4.0 UW, top rigor, 1550, great application. Rejected.
Headed to UVA or JHU.

And this idiot got in. 😡

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid would have given their left arm to get into Dartmouth this yr. Both parents went there, sister goes there, has a 4.0 UW, top rigor, 1550, great application. Rejected.
Headed to UVA or JHU.

And this idiot got in. 😡

The idiot is a troll, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, this is satire. I mean, come on.

+1
I can't believe people are wasting their time on this troll and haven't reported her yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

How many supplements did she write?

34. -OP

Interesting that all 34 schools required supplements. I thought some you mentioned do not, but regardless, could she go back and look at the "Why Us?" essay for the ones she was accepted to and see if she was telling the truth in any of them? It's weird that she applied to schools where she didn't actually want to attend, yet their applications require a lot of extra work. Were the "Why Us" essays credible at all?

To her, no school is truly perfect—even her favorites have downsides. But most of the schools she applied to have qualities she likes, which is what she wrote about. -OP

Well she's right then. No school is perfect, including the ones she was rejected from/waitlisted at. Time to look at the qualities she liked in the ones she was accepted to, and prioritize which of them are most important. This is part of the process. I'm the PP who wrote about Brown. She should give it a closer look in my opinion. Concerns about "quality of education" are misguided.

She’s just worried about job opportunities coming from Brown because of it being known for an open curriculum. I can try and tell her to look at the positives, but she still feels defeated and worthless because she didn’t get into a top school. -OP

It sounds like you agree with her, that she’s worthless because she didn’t get into Yale? Is that it OP?

I hate that these schools made my daughter feel this way. She’s more than qualified, but now she says she doesn’t want to go to college anymore and just wants to stay home because she didn’t get into the schools she wanted. She’s not being a jerk—it was just the expectation based on her stats. If she had been rejected outright, she probably would’ve felt better by now and have committed to schools like Brown or Northwestern. But the waitlists make her obsess over the 'what ifs,' and that’s why she’s crying every day, even at school. -OP

You failed your daughter if she had any expectation of admission to Yale or any of these schools. They have like 5% admissions rate. It’s a crapshoot whether even the most brilliant and decorated students get in. You should have been making sure that she understood every single one of those applications was a pure coin toss and the results would have nothing to do with her success as a student or her worth as a person. Both of you need therapy.

Make a clean break that the schools didn’t provide. Tell her to drop off the waitlists. Focus on the things she liked about the schools she got into. Reset, and do the parenting job you should have been doing from the beginning.

She didn’t expect to get into Yale, but thought she had a decent chance, which she did (waitlisted). The pain of the waitlists isn’t from wondering if she’ll get in—it's that she felt so close. Honestly, she would’ve rather had rejections from all of them, like she did with some other schools. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

How many supplements did she write?

34. -OP

Interesting that all 34 schools required supplements. I thought some you mentioned do not, but regardless, could she go back and look at the "Why Us?" essay for the ones she was accepted to and see if she was telling the truth in any of them? It's weird that she applied to schools where she didn't actually want to attend, yet their applications require a lot of extra work. Were the "Why Us" essays credible at all?

To her, no school is truly perfect—even her favorites have downsides. But most of the schools she applied to have qualities she likes, which is what she wrote about. -OP

Well she's right then. No school is perfect, including the ones she was rejected from/waitlisted at. Time to look at the qualities she liked in the ones she was accepted to, and prioritize which of them are most important. This is part of the process. I'm the PP who wrote about Brown. She should give it a closer look in my opinion. Concerns about "quality of education" are misguided.

She’s just worried about job opportunities coming from Brown because of it being known for an open curriculum. I can try and tell her to look at the positives, but she still feels defeated and worthless because she didn’t get into a top school. -OP

It sounds like you agree with her, that she’s worthless because she didn’t get into Yale? Is that it OP?

I hate that these schools made my daughter feel this way. She’s more than qualified, but now she says she doesn’t want to go to college anymore and just wants to stay home because she didn’t get into the schools she wanted. She’s not being a jerk—it was just the expectation based on her stats. If she had been rejected outright, she probably would’ve felt better by now and have committed to schools like Brown or Northwestern. But the waitlists make her obsess over the 'what ifs,' and that’s why she’s crying every day, even at school. -OP

OP - I mean this kindly, but YOU should be the one hyping up these other schools, encouraging your child to pick one of her amazing options and instilling in your child a sense of gratitude for the schools that chose her. Not wasting time on DCUM. Love the school that loves you back!

She’s doesn’t listen—she’s completely fixated on what she feels she missed out on, which is why I came here for advice. Some people are assuming I’m trolling, but this is very believable for her. My daughter is a perfectionist in every area of her life, and this has hit her especially hard. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

How many supplements did she write?

34. -OP

Interesting that all 34 schools required supplements. I thought some you mentioned do not, but regardless, could she go back and look at the "Why Us?" essay for the ones she was accepted to and see if she was telling the truth in any of them? It's weird that she applied to schools where she didn't actually want to attend, yet their applications require a lot of extra work. Were the "Why Us" essays credible at all?

To her, no school is truly perfect—even her favorites have downsides. But most of the schools she applied to have qualities she likes, which is what she wrote about. -OP

Well she's right then. No school is perfect, including the ones she was rejected from/waitlisted at. Time to look at the qualities she liked in the ones she was accepted to, and prioritize which of them are most important. This is part of the process. I'm the PP who wrote about Brown. She should give it a closer look in my opinion. Concerns about "quality of education" are misguided.

She’s just worried about job opportunities coming from Brown because of it being known for an open curriculum. I can try and tell her to look at the positives, but she still feels defeated and worthless because she didn’t get into a top school. -OP

It sounds like you agree with her, that she’s worthless because she didn’t get into Yale? Is that it OP?

I hate that these schools made my daughter feel this way. She’s more than qualified, but now she says she doesn’t want to go to college anymore and just wants to stay home because she didn’t get into the schools she wanted. She’s not being a jerk—it was just the expectation based on her stats. If she had been rejected outright, she probably would’ve felt better by now and have committed to schools like Brown or Northwestern. But the waitlists make her obsess over the 'what ifs,' and that’s why she’s crying every day, even at school. -OP

Her stats? What sort of stats create an expectation better than Brown/Dartmouth/Vanderbilt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids was like that, even though they were admitted to multiple Ivies (just not to the top three they wanted). Yes, I am bragging but I am also commiserating with OP. It still hurts me to think about. Life is so painful. My other kids have experienced losses and disappointments too, in other arenas. It's hard because you want to tell them the right thing to make it better but all you can do is help them get through to the other side.

Yes, I know this is a "privileged" or entitled problem to have but that doesn't make it any less painful so f-off ahead of time to the haters.

Honestly, you are so gross.

DP

You sound like a12 year old

[Anonymous]

Thank you, Troll of the Thirty-Four Schools -- for doing what we'd all believed to be impossible: creating consensus in DCUM.

Good job, OP.

Now scuttle along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

How many supplements did she write?

34. -OP

All, the troll is a high school student who hasn't even applied to college yet. She thinks that if you apply to 34 top schools, you would have 34 supplements. Nuff said.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

How many supplements did she write?

34. -OP

Interesting that all 34 schools required supplements. I thought some you mentioned do not, but regardless, could she go back and look at the "Why Us?" essay for the ones she was accepted to and see if she was telling the truth in any of them? It's weird that she applied to schools where she didn't actually want to attend, yet their applications require a lot of extra work. Were the "Why Us" essays credible at all?

To her, no school is truly perfect—even her favorites have downsides. But most of the schools she applied to have qualities she likes, which is what she wrote about. -OP

Well she's right then. No school is perfect, including the ones she was rejected from/waitlisted at. Time to look at the qualities she liked in the ones she was accepted to, and prioritize which of them are most important. This is part of the process. I'm the PP who wrote about Brown. She should give it a closer look in my opinion. Concerns about "quality of education" are misguided.

She’s just worried about job opportunities coming from Brown because of it being known for an open curriculum. I can try and tell her to look at the positives, but she still feels defeated and worthless because she didn’t get into a top school. -OP

It sounds like you agree with her, that she’s worthless because she didn’t get into Yale? Is that it OP?

I hate that these schools made my daughter feel this way. She’s more than qualified, but now she says she doesn’t want to go to college anymore and just wants to stay home because she didn’t get into the schools she wanted. She’s not being a jerk—it was just the expectation based on her stats. If she had been rejected outright, she probably would’ve felt better by now and have committed to schools like Brown or Northwestern. But the waitlists make her obsess over the 'what ifs,' and that’s why she’s crying every day, even at school. -OP

OP - I mean this kindly, but YOU should be the one hyping up these other schools, encouraging your child to pick one of her amazing options and instilling in your child a sense of gratitude for the schools that chose her. Not wasting time on DCUM. Love the school that loves you back!

She’s doesn’t listen—she’s completely fixated on what she feels she missed out on, which is why I came here for advice. Some people are assuming I’m trolling, but this is very believable for her. My daughter is a perfectionist in every area of her life, and this has hit her especially hard. -OP

So according to you, she’s such a perfectionist and is so devastated that she got into some Ivies but not the *right* Ivies that she is crying daily and wants to give up entirely and not go to college at all, thinks she’s a complete failure and all her work has been wasted, and won’t listen to you.

It’s time for professional assistance. Seriously. Get her into therapy.

[Anonymous]

Go to Vandy after all- she'd fit in with the sorority girls there.

[Anonymous]

Don’t go to college at all. With these disappointing results, it’s just not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid would have given their left arm to get into Dartmouth this yr. Both parents went there, sister goes there, has a 4.0 UW, top rigor, 1550, great application. Rejected.
Headed to UVA or JHU.

And this idiot got in. 😡

They needed right arm though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to Vandy after all- she'd fit in with the sorority girls there.

Nooooo. They will eat this insecure child alive.