Talk to me about your gray divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be sure you take care of your kids by placing assets in a trust for them. If he remarries he'll give most of his assets to the new wife, and she doesn't have to give them to your kids. Of course she'll let him tell himself she will. But really, this is the price of the marriage and he's going to rationalize paying it.

What did the kids do to earn it that money? My parents spent every penny and I don’t feel slighted at all. They deserved to enjoy some of their life without sacrificing for us kids.

What did the gold digging last wife do to inherit 50% of premarital assets earned during someone’s lifetime? What step kids did to inherit it rather than biological kids?
Most people want THEIR legacy to continue not some strange…

Sounds like you had a personal situation where your expectations were not met. I just believe it is THEIR decision what THEY want their “legacy to be. If married, it is a decision for the couple, greed and entitlement are disgusting traits on ALL people, not just absent fathers.

Couple decision? The wife is not the only relative particular later in life.

They built a life, created a family and have earned the right to do what they desire with the assets THEY sacrificed to accumulate. They can give it all to their kids and live broke, they can donate it all to an animal shelter if they want. The kids are NOT entitled to anything.

Let’s not pretend here and create a parallel reality. Most retirees with valuable assets are simply walking financial targets for complete strangers who want to take advantage of an aging person. Decision making is clouded when in sexual relationship.
I don’t believe it’s the greed that makes children upset when the new (often short term) spouse inherits everything. Nobody wants their aging parent to be taken advantage of

I agree, but I thought the conversation was more towards protecting the children after the parent dies. My parents didn’t have much in the end, but I did help them find a lawyer to structure their finances to make sure they had their needs met regardless of how they spent on their desires. I just didn’t want them worrying about me in those financial plans. In case they had dementia or were mentally incapacitated, I did ask them to include specific instructions with my siblings and I responsible for medical decisions and a non family executor with limited decision making power to execute their financial wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be sure you take care of your kids by placing assets in a trust for them. If he remarries he'll give most of his assets to the new wife, and she doesn't have to give them to your kids. Of course she'll let him tell himself she will. But really, this is the price of the marriage and he's going to rationalize paying it.

What did the kids do to earn it that money? My parents spent every penny and I don’t feel slighted at all. They deserved to enjoy some of their life without sacrificing for us kids.

What did the gold digging last wife do to inherit 50% of premarital assets earned during someone’s lifetime? What step kids did to inherit it rather than biological kids?
Most people want THEIR legacy to continue not some strange…

Sounds like you had a personal situation where your expectations were not met. I just believe it is THEIR decision what THEY want their “legacy to be. If married, it is a decision for the couple, greed and entitlement are disgusting traits on ALL people, not just absent fathers.

True but the point is sometimes the second or third spouse takes all the marital assets and does not provide for the children of their spouse. This happened.to me.

My mother had a large amount of life insurance snd always talked about what she was leaving for us kids She had a rare aggressive cancer and knew time was limited. However apparently the only plan she had was for her husband to distribute the money between both her biological kids and stepchildren. This was not expressed in a will and we were not listed as beneficiaries. What actually happened is his ex-wife swooped in literally the weekend my mom died and started putting the moves on him. They got back together and used the life insurance to buy a fancy new house and travel the world. I know it was not my mom's intent but unfortunately it is what happened. Any way that's life and I agree parents have a right to spend their money but this pertains to spending money in a way that was not consistent with the deceased person's intentions. It apparently happens all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be sure you take care of your kids by placing assets in a trust for them. If he remarries he'll give most of his assets to the new wife, and she doesn't have to give them to your kids. Of course she'll let him tell himself she will. But really, this is the price of the marriage and he's going to rationalize paying it.

What did the kids do to earn it that money? My parents spent every penny and I don’t feel slighted at all. They deserved to enjoy some of their life without sacrificing for us kids.

What did the gold digging last wife do to inherit 50% of premarital assets earned during someone’s lifetime? What step kids did to inherit it rather than biological kids?
Most people want THEIR legacy to continue not some strange…

Sounds like you had a personal situation where your expectations were not met. I just believe it is THEIR decision what THEY want their “legacy to be. If married, it is a decision for the couple, greed and entitlement are disgusting traits on ALL people, not just absent fathers.

True but the point is sometimes the second or third spouse takes all the marital assets and does not provide for the children of their spouse. This happened.to me.

My mother had a large amount of life insurance snd always talked about what she was leaving for us kids She had a rare aggressive cancer and knew time was limited. However apparently the only plan she had was for her husband to distribute the money between both her biological kids and stepchildren. This was not expressed in a will and we were not listed as beneficiaries. What actually happened is his ex-wife swooped in literally the weekend my mom died and started putting the moves on him. They got back together and used the life insurance to buy a fancy new house and travel the world. I know it was not my mom's intent but unfortunately it is what happened. Any way that's life and I agree parents have a right to spend their money but this pertains to spending money in a way that was not consistent with the deceased person's intentions. It apparently happens all the time.

Omg your mother’s life insurance money after she died of cancer was spent by your stepfather and his ex-wife? No words. That’s brutal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be sure you take care of your kids by placing assets in a trust for them. If he remarries he'll give most of his assets to the new wife, and she doesn't have to give them to your kids. Of course she'll let him tell himself she will. But really, this is the price of the marriage and he's going to rationalize paying it.

What did the kids do to earn it that money? My parents spent every penny and I don’t feel slighted at all. They deserved to enjoy some of their life without sacrificing for us kids.

What did the gold digging last wife do to inherit 50% of premarital assets earned during someone’s lifetime? What step kids did to inherit it rather than biological kids?
Most people want THEIR legacy to continue not some strange…

Sounds like you had a personal situation where your expectations were not met. I just believe it is THEIR decision what THEY want their “legacy to be. If married, it is a decision for the couple, greed and entitlement are disgusting traits on ALL people, not just absent fathers.

Couple decision? The wife is not the only relative particular later in life.

They built a life, created a family and have earned the right to do what they desire with the assets THEY sacrificed to accumulate. They can give it all to their kids and live broke, they can donate it all to an animal shelter if they want. The kids are NOT entitled to anything.

Let’s not pretend here and create a parallel reality. Most retirees with valuable assets are simply walking financial targets for complete strangers who want to take advantage of an aging person. Decision making is clouded when in sexual relationship.
I don’t believe it’s the greed that makes children upset when the new (often short term) spouse inherits everything. Nobody wants their aging parent to be taken advantage of

But this mostly applies to men. Older women don't make bad decisions about sex. They may make bad decisions because they fear being alone or are desperate for companionship, but that's not the same thing. And if your idiot father married another woman without a prenup, that's on him. It's not much different than if he gambled it all away. It's his money blow.