Reply to Ex Can’t Do School Logistics Anymore

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Ex Can’t Do School Logistics Anymore — Advice?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
 I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes. [/quote]

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses  every day. [/quote]

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week.  What does she do on her days?  She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support.  Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week.  Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.[/quote]

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children. [/quote]

These are young kids.  They will be fine changing schools.  Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail.  If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support?  Of course not.  He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support.  He's doing his share.  She can step up a little.  She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.[/quote]

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.[/quote]

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child.  The issue is his work schedule.  And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids.  If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting.  What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?[/quote]

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair. [/quote]

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school.  He has to work.  So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him.  She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids.  Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours  day.[/quote]

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days. [/quote]

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support.  The best way to figure it out is to change schools. [/quote]

You make no sense.  It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby.  The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.
[/quote]

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go.  If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics.  Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday.  It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.  [/quote]

Read the OP.  This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule.  He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free.  Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.[/quote]

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free.  Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.  [/quote]
OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed? [/quote]

I know you don’t want the fight, and I’m sorry about the troll, but you should get custody and CS squared away before there is another child in his household, which can (sometimes) muddy the math.[/quote]

Some states give a credit for new kids.  He should go back to court and get a better agreement since multiple things changed and she will not work with him.  Not being willing to work with him, demanding full custody and more child support is bad for the kids.  You need to stop trolling and hating men.  [/quote]

I am so sorry for you that you either (1) think that your skewed posts makes any logical or moral sense, or (2) are so bored with your life that you think trolling a mom looking out for the best interest of her kids is fun.

It’s time for some self-reflection.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics