Son was called a monkey by a Hispanic child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster who was first to suggest that the OP consider the context and cultural background of the 9 year old Salvadoran offender when deciding how to proceed.

My comment was initially well enough received—OP thanked me for it—but when I later suggested that for all we know OP’s son didn’t even know himself that what the Salvadoran boy said was racially offensive when said to a black person until he overheard it while his mother was listening to NPR she didn’t appreciate that comment one bit.

Instead, she reported me to Jeff for merely suggesting that a black child isn’t born with the innate knowledge that he should never be called a monkey.

As I understand what happened, OP was listening to NPR. Her son was in the room with her. NPR reported on what the disgusting Young Republicans were saying. The report mentioned the monkey texts. OP’s son heard the report and said a boy called him that at school. OP asked how he reacted. He shrugged and said he ignored it and went back to his play dough.

That, standing alone, does not tell me that OP’s son even knew it was offensive. It’s not like OP responded to my comment with “of course my son knew! I’ve explained it to him!” Instead she simply reported me to Jeff.

I’m also the poster who wrote that my kids didn’t know that “gypped” was an offensive term until I explained it to them over dinner when one of them used the term. Once I did that they never used the term again.

My point is just that these things need to be taught and discussed in good faith on all
sides to be properly understood. If every time anyone dares address a topic pertaining to race they are vilified and immediately labeled a racist themselves we are never going to get anywhere.

Eric Holder famously said we are a “nation of cowards” when it comes to talking about race. He was absolutely right. And threads like this illustrate why.

Kids don't running around calling each other monkeys. This kid picked that work for a specific reason. We know why.

You don’t know that. You simply don't. You

I do because I've never heard it. And if this was so common wouldn't the kids be calling each other "mono" and not monkey if abeulita uses it endearingly and thus that's what their intention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I’m not saying it’s great for a Latino kid to call a black kid a monkey. I just wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that the kid meant it in an insulting or racist way. There’s a real possibility—a likelihood, in fact—that the kid didn’t make any connection between “monkey”
and OP’s son’s race.

I’m just not ready to crucify a 9 year old from a different culture over this. My suggestion would be to explain to your son that his friend likely doesn’t know any better and encourage him to talk to his friend about it directly. I don’t think a teacher needs to be involved.

You are a tool. F857 you.
WHAT OTHER EXPLANATION COULD IT BE?

If he called him a llama face sure. But you good and damn well what monkey refers to. Cultural or not.

NP I clearly must be stupid but I haven’t heard blacks called monkey. I’ve heard Asians call other Asians monkeys.

You’re either ignorant, a liar, a moron or all of them combined. Not a good look.

NP. You need to consider that many of these derogatory terms are not shared with new generations or in certain areas of the country. They fade away. The PP is likely telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

“Monkey” is a one of the most common (racist) terms used in Hispanic countries to describe a person of African descent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster who was first to suggest that the OP consider the context and cultural background of the 9 year old Salvadoran offender when deciding how to proceed.

My comment was initially well enough received—OP thanked me for it—but when I later suggested that for all we know OP’s son didn’t even know himself that what the Salvadoran boy said was racially offensive when said to a black person until he overheard it while his mother was listening to NPR she didn’t appreciate that comment one bit.

Instead, she reported me to Jeff for merely suggesting that a black child isn’t born with the innate knowledge that he should never be called a monkey.

As I understand what happened, OP was listening to NPR. Her son was in the room with her. NPR reported on what the disgusting Young Republicans were saying. The report mentioned the monkey texts. OP’s son heard the report and said a boy called him that at school. OP asked how he reacted. He shrugged and said he ignored it and went back to his play dough.

That, standing alone, does not tell me that OP’s son even knew it was offensive. It’s not like OP responded to my comment with “of course my son knew! I’ve explained it to him!” Instead she simply reported me to Jeff.

I’m also the poster who wrote that my kids didn’t know that “gypped” was an offensive term until I explained it to them over dinner when one of them used the term. Once I did that they never used the term again.

My point is just that these things need to be taught and discussed in good faith on all
sides to be properly understood. If every time anyone dares address a topic pertaining to race they are vilified and immediately labeled a racist themselves we are never going to get anywhere.

Eric Holder famously said we are a “nation of cowards” when it comes to talking about race. He was absolutely right. And threads like this illustrate why.

I reported you and I'm not the OP lol

[Anonymous]

What’s bothering me is some of you seem to be tying any acknowledgement of racism with an overreaction. As if those of us who see that this is racist means that we think OP should choose the nuclear option and fight to get the kid expelled and have the kid branded racist for life. Who is saying that, I certainly don’t want that. That not the same as calling out the child and using it as — someone else said — a teachable moment.

So because some of you see those two as linked, you’re fighting to downplay an act of racism and keep coming up with these forced rationalizations, like this is just part of the kid’s culture, maybe he used monkey to refer to the kid’s energeticness, etc. Enough. It’s insulting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Monkey” is a one of the most common (racist) terms used in Hispanic countries to describe a person of African descent.

But they mean it in a nice way! Wink, wink. Don't judge them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Poor excuse. African American mom who empathizes with OP.

It’s not being offered as an excuse. It’s being offered as a possible explanation.

The explanation sucks and those with insensitivities need to try a little harder to not be a-holes in this country.

What makes you so certain that you don’t do or say anything abroad that’s considered offensive but you didn’t know it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Poor excuse. African American mom who empathizes with OP.

It’s not being offered as an excuse. It’s being offered as a possible explanation.

The explanation sucks and those with insensitivities need to try a little harder to not be a-holes in this country.

What makes you so certain that you don’t do or say anything abroad that’s considered offensive but you didn’t know it?

That's not the same as what's going on here. Nobody has said "We didn't know how awful! We will not do that again" it's just "So what! That's what kids call each other!" Doubling down is not the same as acknowledging you learned something new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster who was first to suggest that the OP consider the context and cultural background of the 9 year old Salvadoran offender when deciding how to proceed.

My comment was initially well enough received—OP thanked me for it—but when I later suggested that for all we know OP’s son didn’t even know himself that what the Salvadoran boy said was racially offensive when said to a black person until he overheard it while his mother was listening to NPR she didn’t appreciate that comment one bit.

Instead, she reported me to Jeff for merely suggesting that a black child isn’t born with the innate knowledge that he should never be called a monkey.

As I understand what happened, OP was listening to NPR. Her son was in the room with her. NPR reported on what the disgusting Young Republicans were saying. The report mentioned the monkey texts. OP’s son heard the report and said a boy called him that at school. OP asked how he reacted. He shrugged and said he ignored it and went back to his play dough.

That, standing alone, does not tell me that OP’s son even knew it was offensive. It’s not like OP responded to my comment with “of course my son knew! I’ve explained it to him!” Instead she simply reported me to Jeff.

I’m also the poster who wrote that my kids didn’t know that “gypped” was an offensive term until I explained it to them over dinner when one of them used the term. Once I did that they never used the term again.

My point is just that these things need to be taught and discussed in good faith on all
sides to be properly understood. If every time anyone dares address a topic pertaining to race they are vilified and immediately labeled a racist themselves we are never going to get anywhere.

Eric Holder famously said we are a “nation of cowards” when it comes to talking about race. He was absolutely right. And threads like this illustrate why.

I reported you and I'm not the OP lol

Ok my bad. On the feedback page Jeff I thought Jeff suggested it was the OP. My apologies to the OP.

But as I predicted when you (or whoever) first threatened to report me I wasn’t concerned because I knew then and now that nothing I am saying is even remotely racist or insensitive. That’s not how I roll, as Jeff confirmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s bothering me is some of you seem to be tying any acknowledgement of racism with an overreaction. As if those of us who see that this is racist means that we think OP should choose the nuclear option and fight to get the kid expelled and have the kid branded racist for life. Who is saying that, I certainly don’t want that. That not the same as calling out the child and using it as — someone else said — a teachable moment.

So because some of you see those two as linked, you’re fighting to downplay an act of racism and keep coming up with these forced rationalizations, like this is just part of the kid’s culture, maybe he used monkey to refer to the kid’s energeticness, etc. Enough. It’s insulting.

That’s not what’s happening here. What’s happening here is overreaction on both sides with very little interest among anyone on either side with rational discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Poor excuse. African American mom who empathizes with OP.

It’s not being offered as an excuse. It’s being offered as a possible explanation.

The explanation sucks and those with insensitivities need to try a little harder to not be a-holes in this country.

What makes you so certain that you don’t do or say anything abroad that’s considered offensive but you didn’t know it?

That's not the same as what's going on here. Nobody has said "We didn't know how awful! We will not do that again" it's just "So what! That's what kids call each other!" Doubling down is not the same as acknowledging you learned something new.

That’s your perspectives, but I’m not seeing a lot of that in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Poor excuse. African American mom who empathizes with OP.

It’s not being offered as an excuse. It’s being offered as a possible explanation.

The explanation sucks and those with insensitivities need to try a little harder to not be a-holes in this country.

What makes you so certain that you don’t do or say anything abroad that’s considered offensive but you didn’t know it?

That's not the same as what's going on here. Nobody has said "We didn't know how awful! We will not do that again" it's just "So what! That's what kids call each other!" Doubling down is not the same as acknowledging you learned something new.

That’s your perspectives, but I’m not seeing a lot of that in this thread.

Ok. Can't remember a post that said "I had no idea." Maybe I missed that one in the sea of "this is what we do! It's cute!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Poor excuse. African American mom who empathizes with OP.

It’s not being offered as an excuse. It’s being offered as a possible explanation.

The explanation sucks and those with insensitivities need to try a little harder to not be a-holes in this country.

What makes you so certain that you don’t do or say anything abroad that’s considered offensive but you didn’t know it?

That's not the same as what's going on here. Nobody has said "We didn't know how awful! We will not do that again" it's just "So what! That's what kids call each other!" Doubling down is not the same as acknowledging you learned something new.

That’s your perspectives, but I’m not seeing a lot of that in this thread.

Ok. Can't remember a post that said "I had no idea." Maybe I missed that one in the sea of "this is what we do! It's cute!"

You need to look again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Poor excuse. African American mom who empathizes with OP.

It’s not being offered as an excuse. It’s being offered as a possible explanation.

The explanation sucks and those with insensitivities need to try a little harder to not be a-holes in this country.

What makes you so certain that you don’t do or say anything abroad that’s considered offensive but you didn’t know it?

That's not the same as what's going on here. Nobody has said "We didn't know how awful! We will not do that again" it's just "So what! That's what kids call each other!" Doubling down is not the same as acknowledging you learned something new.

That’s your perspectives, but I’m not seeing a lot of that in this thread.

Ok. Can't remember a post that said "I had no idea." Maybe I missed that one in the sea of "this is what we do! It's cute!"

You need to look again.

I'm good. Keep being your racist self and getting mad when it's pointed out. Ignorance is not an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s bothering me is some of you seem to be tying any acknowledgement of racism with an overreaction. As if those of us who see that this is racist means that we think OP should choose the nuclear option and fight to get the kid expelled and have the kid branded racist for life. Who is saying that, I certainly don’t want that. That not the same as calling out the child and using it as — someone else said — a teachable moment.

So because some of you see those two as linked, you’re fighting to downplay an act of racism and keep coming up with these forced rationalizations, like this is just part of the kid’s culture, maybe he used monkey to refer to the kid’s energeticness, etc. Enough. It’s insulting.

That’s not what’s happening here. What’s happening here is overreaction on both sides with very little interest among anyone on either side with rational discussion.

No one who’s pointing out this is racist has really overreacted. The act of acknowledging this is racist is apparently an overreaction in and of itself in your eyes