What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

These parents need to parent and kick them off screens and kick them outside.

That family also often criticizes people for being over scheduled.

I get that, but they dont need to overschedule, literally all they need to do is take the screens.

So, no activities, no screens... so what do they do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

kids are bums

Or those kids are buying drugs and trying them alone in their rooms or asking ChatGPT how to kill themselves. I’d rather my kids be out of the house with friends doing the activities they love than sitting alone in their rooms at home.

You have an extremely negative view of kids not in activities

Some kids are fine no activities but the bulk we know just play video games all day and night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

kids are bums

Or those kids are buying drugs and trying them alone in their rooms or asking ChatGPT how to kill themselves. I’d rather my kids be out of the house with friends doing the activities they love than sitting alone in their rooms at home.

Weird conclusion to jump to.

Kind of like how kids who do activities never see their families and can’t figure out how to entertain themselves.

Of course they see their families, same as you only we spend more time with ours with the driving. We eat together, go out to dinner/lunch, etc.

Exactly how do your HS kids entertain themselves without electronics or activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

kids are bums

Or those kids are buying drugs and trying them alone in their rooms or asking ChatGPT how to kill themselves. I’d rather my kids be out of the house with friends doing the activities they love than sitting alone in their rooms at home.

Weird conclusion to jump to.

Kind of like how kids who do activities never see their families and can’t figure out how to entertain themselves.

Except it's not, it's not a far stretch to say that overscheduled kids have less time for other things

Less things like what? Hanging out with your bored kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

kids are bums

Or those kids are buying drugs and trying them alone in their rooms or asking ChatGPT how to kill themselves. I’d rather my kids be out of the house with friends doing the activities they love than sitting alone in their rooms at home.

You have an extremely negative view of kids not in activities

Some kids are fine no activities but the bulk we know just play video games all day and night.

I know this is an elementary school forum but I also have two teens. There are many kids who do nothing in middle school. Many kids drop their activities. The kids who seem overscheduled often continue. The kids who never got started probably still haven’t started.

Better for your kid to be a good softball player than sit in her room playing video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

These parents need to parent and kick them off screens and kick them outside.

That family also often criticizes people for being over scheduled.

I get that, but they dont need to overschedule, literally all they need to do is take the screens.

So, no activities, no screens... so what do they do?

It didnt say no screens or activities. I said if screen time is a problem to take them and let kids figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

kids are bums

Or those kids are buying drugs and trying them alone in their rooms or asking ChatGPT how to kill themselves. I’d rather my kids be out of the house with friends doing the activities they love than sitting alone in their rooms at home.

Weird conclusion to jump to.

Kind of like how kids who do activities never see their families and can’t figure out how to entertain themselves.

Except it's not, it's not a far stretch to say that overscheduled kids have less time for other things

Less things like what? Hanging out with your bored kids?

No maybe they'd have more time to play or hang out with their neighborhood friends. Not sure what's so wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have the opposite feeling. I wonder why a parent would not want to let their child try something new whether that be ice hockey or ballet or swim.

We are on the upper end of achieving as a family. We work hard and play hard. We know many people who don’t work that hard or maybe just unsuccessful, don’t try hard and don’t do much at all. Shrug. They probably look at us and don’t envy us either.

Perhaps your attitude is why many of us see overscheduling as a negative. Many families in this area have virtually no unscheduled or downtime. The line between balanced and over or underscheduled varies for every family. But I agree with PP’s who mentioned that the ability to entertain oneself and also socialize in unstructured settings seems to be an undervalued skill. So many studies have shown the relationship between boredom or daydreaming and creativity/problem solving. It is a skill to have a free day and figure out how to structure and fill your time - also how to meet new people in informal settings or without adult oversight/structure. It is striking to me the amount of college students who are posting on social media about how they have no friends/are alone/want to go home. I can’t tell the degree to which social media amplifies the phenomena, but when I went to college I was homesick and knew other kids who were homesick, but it was basically a given that we were meeting new people and finding our way socially. It did not seem as overwhelming as many young people today seem to find it and I’m not sure why, unless they are socializing less?

Stop hiding between studies. Kids don't need to stay home and day dream because you refuse to support their interests. Having interests, sports, activities is a great ice breaker in college. If your kids have no interests its hard for others to connect.

What do your HS kids do weekends and evenings outside school? How much time do you spend and what does that look like?

They are socializing less as they don't have the opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

kids are bums

Or those kids are buying drugs and trying them alone in their rooms or asking ChatGPT how to kill themselves. I’d rather my kids be out of the house with friends doing the activities they love than sitting alone in their rooms at home.

Weird conclusion to jump to.

Kind of like how kids who do activities never see their families and can’t figure out how to entertain themselves.

Except it's not, it's not a far stretch to say that overscheduled kids have less time for other things

Less things like what? Hanging out with your bored kids?

My overscheduled kids still hang out with kids. I have a kid over now and they are playing with nerf guns. I’m going to feed them and drive them to their shared activity soon. My kid will have an activity 5 days per week. Half are sports and half are academic/music. It may seem like too much for some families. It is fine for ours.

[Anonymous]

So ppl's hs kids can't entertain themselves without screens or activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

These parents need to parent and kick them off screens and kick them outside.

That family also often criticizes people for being over scheduled.

I get that, but they dont need to overschedule, literally all they need to do is take the screens.

So, no activities, no screens... so what do they do?

It didnt say no screens or activities. I said if screen time is a problem to take them and let kids figure it out.

And, what does that look like in ES, MS and HS? Please share what it looks like with no screens, no activities, etc. And busy parents who at best eat dinner with you?

That sounds more about your needs than theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So ppl's hs kids can't entertain themselves without screens or activities?

Can you tell us what that looks like? You know colleges what to see kids in sports, clubs, activities right?

I'd rather fill up my kids time so they aren't bored and have a strong work ethic.

They do sports, arts, and summers work. How about yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So ppl's hs kids can't entertain themselves without screens or activities?

What is wrong with them doing sports/music daily? How is that a bad thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So ppl's hs kids can't entertain themselves without screens or activities?

My HS kid plays 3 varsity sports. He has perfect grades and is studying for his SAT. He is on several academic clubs and competitions. He is gunning for Ivy+ schools.

He is not roaming around daydreaming. He has a full AP courseload.

My youngest child who is almost like an only child is not good at entertaining herself at all despite being the least scheduled of my three children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are like this tend to have hyper kids that are hard to be around. Non-hyper kids don’t need this level of entertainment at all times and the parents need fewer breaks from them too.

While I disagree with your delivery, I do agree that my ADHD extroverted kid is happiest with a booked calendar and so are the rest of us. Because when he's not scheduled he is moving, talking, asking for play dates, making his own activities, etc. He doesn't need nor want quiet time. So lots of activities is a good thing.

I sometimes hear about families content to do nothing all weekend and cannot understand that lifestyle.

I have a friend who prides herself on family time. They all spend time on their screens. The kids have no time limit on screens. Boy plays video games all weekend. Daughter watches YouTube. One kid is a good student. One kid is not. She just lets them be.

kids are bums

Or those kids are buying drugs and trying them alone in their rooms or asking ChatGPT how to kill themselves. I’d rather my kids be out of the house with friends doing the activities they love than sitting alone in their rooms at home.

Weird conclusion to jump to.

Kind of like how kids who do activities never see their families and can’t figure out how to entertain themselves.

Except it's not, it's not a far stretch to say that overscheduled kids have less time for other things

Less things like what? Hanging out with your bored kids?

No maybe they'd have more time to play or hang out with their neighborhood friends. Not sure what's so wrong with that.

So, you don't want us to put our kids in activities so they can hang out more with your kids because you will not put yours in activities? Mine would rather do activities. I don't feel like being a free babysitter to you with a so called playdate.