NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe they suddenly are experiencing a lack of sea parting for straight men in society and are having breakdowns and being crybabies. Mad because society has started to value competence and excellence over gender/race/physical appearance/stereotypes of what kind of people should be in what roles in society.


Agree. There is an idiom for this: when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.

An example is a study done in business meetings. When women spoke 25% of the time, men said that men and women spoke equally as often. When women spoke just 30% of the time, men said that women dominated the conversation. It objectively wasn’t true, but women only had to speak a little more for men to think they were dominating the conversation.

Men (esp white men of a certain age) were raised believing that they would be at the top of the food chain. And that’s still mostly true. But they have to share some of the spotlight now, and boy, they don’t like it.


I certainly think we have work to do regarding equality, but in my profession I have noticed that in the past 5-8 years literally ZERO white people have been given residencies, grants, fellowships or stipends in the DC area. Well, I think maybe there was one white woman but she was gay. So, as a white person, I have been going after every single thing and have been shut out. I'm not saying anything of course because the whole world would call me a Karen, but I guess I'm lucky my spouse makes a decent amount of money because I have totally stagnated despite being pretty damn talented and incredibly hard working.



Your anecdotal observation that white people are excluded from consideration for hiring, is consistent with the factual statistics compiled by the S&P, and reported by Bloomberg, among others:

https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2023-black-lives-matter-equal-opportunity-corporate-diversity/

I don’t think that’s helpful. What is the overall representation now? I know POC are nowhere near 92% of representation in Fortune 100 companies. That’s the only statistic that matters here.

I think PP is talking about writing residencies and grants. That’s because publishing is mostly white. I follow a lot of writers and many of them are getting grants and residences. So, I’m not sure that holds. In DC maybe, but not overall.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/01/16/opinion/men-trump-voters-focus-group.html?unlocked_article_code=1.pk4.M2Hr.Thy5lM84dXHH&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

I just read this and I am not sure there is an eye roll emoji that can accurately reflect how ridiculous this article is. A focus group of 12 men who voted for Trump. I admit I am a 40-something woman, with sisters and daughters so I probably have less opportunity to see this, but I struggle to believe that men are feeling like they don’t have a place in society. They OWN society. What is the deal with this whining? Even the comments about how they feel like chivalry is gone because women give them a dirty look if they hold a door. It is BASIC courtesy. And since when are men worried about getting a dirty look?

Can anyone explain this to me?


I bet the people who are disagreeing with you, OP, are these BOY MOMS.


boy moms are the worst!


Oh please! This is just stoking the gender wars. I’m a boy mom with lists of boy moms and we’re all feminists. So it’s not universal.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:NP. As a person who predicted months before both the 2016 and 2020 elections that Trump was going to win easily (and was laughed at), this thread is just more evidence to me of how much of a sealed bubble DCUM is. It is a bit remarkable.


Newsflash! The felon didn’t win in 2020.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The other thread on this has been eye-opening.

I'm beginning to see how Trump won. He's a voice for the marginalized and straight white dudes now see themselves that way due to overzealous DEI practices.

I find some DEI practices a bit too restrictive. We had a female employee give notice and to maintain a "good ratio" on our team, my supervisor said the new hire had to be a woman. So boobs > qualifications, cool.


I think it's situations like this, which happen, that have created a narrative for some portion of the population that white men (and sometimes white women too) are victims.

In many parts of life - working class jobs, college admissions, professional jobs - we have been told out loud that white people's piece of the pie needs to be smaller in whatever way we can make it happen. This is because their piece of the pie was way too big. But the white people alive right this minute in this time, they FEEL and they PERCEIVE that they are being squeezed out. And isn't life all about perceptions? They perceive their piece of the pie is shrinking (and maybe it is) and there is the same number of them and they're scrambling for someone to blame and an answer and a way to keep the piece of the pie for themselves and most importantly, their children.

I think this is important to talk about if we want to understand the rise of Trump. Dismissing it as "insane" is at our own peril.


First of all, the idea of limited resources is a fallacy.

Also, if you only feel comfortable discussing things with the concept that there are limited resources than the people, you should have a problem with other people that eat so much pie they are throwing up and have to give it to Africa because they have so much… billionaires.


Not getting it. It’s how people feel and what they see in their own lives. I got into Ivy school and my white kid cant. I’m up for promotion or prestigious thing and it never goes to a white person. People are telling you this in this thread and then the response is oh you’re wrong. Then people feel gaslit and they’re pissed.



Black people are not gatekeeping your child’s ability to get into an Ivy League school.

You realize that’s athletes and children of billionaires.

We are not gaslighting you we are telling you facts. The fact is your white male child did not get into an Ivy League school because an Asian, a white athlete, and a rich kid got ahead of him.

If you wanted him to get in, you should’ve done better and bought a building for the school.


NP: no, now you really are gaslighting, PP.

Look: we all know for the majority of the US’s history, it was impossible or nearly so, for a Black person to get into many universities other than HBCUs (which why HBCUs even exist, as we all know).

But you are gaslighting when you try to deny that colleges are often reluctant to admit equally-qualified white applicants and businesses are reluctant to hire many, if any, white applicants.

It’s racism and it’s real. If you need to, call it “reverse racism.” Or call it discrimination or race-based discrimination, if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains:

- racism is real. Stop defending racism.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe they suddenly are experiencing a lack of sea parting for straight men in society and are having breakdowns and being crybabies. Mad because society has started to value competence and excellence over gender/race/physical appearance/stereotypes of what kind of people should be in what roles in society.


Agree. There is an idiom for this: when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.

An example is a study done in business meetings. When women spoke 25% of the time, men said that men and women spoke equally as often. When women spoke just 30% of the time, men said that women dominated the conversation. It objectively wasn’t true, but women only had to speak a little more for men to think they were dominating the conversation.

Men (esp white men of a certain age) were raised believing that they would be at the top of the food chain. And that’s still mostly true. But they have to share some of the spotlight now, and boy, they don’t like it.


I certainly think we have work to do regarding equality, but in my profession I have noticed that in the past 5-8 years literally ZERO white people have been given residencies, grants, fellowships or stipends in the DC area. Well, I think maybe there was one white woman but she was gay. So, as a white person, I have been going after every single thing and have been shut out. I'm not saying anything of course because the whole world would call me a Karen, but I guess I'm lucky my spouse makes a decent amount of money because I have totally stagnated despite being pretty damn talented and incredibly hard working.


Every group tries to help their own out. White men were getting their golfing buddies and frat bros in for years. So we start getting people of color and women into positions of power, they then start helping out their fellow women. That was the original point of DEI, to break up the boys club. For it to be a true meritocracy, everyone would have to stop helping out their friends, family, and people from their racial groups and that isn’t going to happen in the near future.


You think women help each other out in this way? I’ve got a bridge to sell you.


+1

Remember when Tina Fey randomly insulted Rob Schneider while discussing Jan Hooks’ career? And Rob pointed out that he owes all of his success to Adam Sandler, because Adam Sandler makes sure his buddies are taken care of… so if Tina Fey thought Jan Hooks was so great she could have easily made things happen for her. But for whatever reason she only cast her in a bit part in one of her hugely successful ventures. Yet Tina wants to point fingers at everyone else for Jam Hooks not being given more opportunities.

Tina Fey wanted to hire her buddy Rachel Dratch as the lead in 30 Rock but the network said she wasn’t pretty enough and made her hire Jane Krakowski instead.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The other thread on this has been eye-opening.

I'm beginning to see how Trump won. He's a voice for the marginalized and straight white dudes now see themselves that way due to overzealous DEI practices.

I find some DEI practices a bit too restrictive. We had a female employee give notice and to maintain a "good ratio" on our team, my supervisor said the new hire had to be a woman. So boobs > qualifications, cool.


I think it's situations like this, which happen, that have created a narrative for some portion of the population that white men (and sometimes white women too) are victims.

In many parts of life - working class jobs, college admissions, professional jobs - we have been told out loud that white people's piece of the pie needs to be smaller in whatever way we can make it happen. This is because their piece of the pie was way too big. But the white people alive right this minute in this time, they FEEL and they PERCEIVE that they are being squeezed out. And isn't life all about perceptions? They perceive their piece of the pie is shrinking (and maybe it is) and there is the same number of them and they're scrambling for someone to blame and an answer and a way to keep the piece of the pie for themselves and most importantly, their children.

I think this is important to talk about if we want to understand the rise of Trump. Dismissing it as "insane" is at our own peril.


First of all, the idea of limited resources is a fallacy.

Also, if you only feel comfortable discussing things with the concept that there are limited resources than the people, you should have a problem with other people that eat so much pie they are throwing up and have to give it to Africa because they have so much… billionaires.


Not getting it. It’s how people feel and what they see in their own lives. I got into Ivy school and my white kid cant. I’m up for promotion or prestigious thing and it never goes to a white person. People are telling you this in this thread and then the response is oh you’re wrong. Then people feel gaslit and they’re pissed.



Black people are not gatekeeping your child’s ability to get into an Ivy League school.

You realize that’s athletes and children of billionaires.

We are not gaslighting you we are telling you facts. The fact is your white male child did not get into an Ivy League school because an Asian, a white athlete, and a rich kid got ahead of him.

If you wanted him to get in, you should’ve done better and bought a building for the school.


NP: no, now you really are gaslighting, PP.

Look: we all know for the majority of the US’s history, it was impossible or nearly so, for a Black person to get into many universities other than HBCUs (which why HBCUs even exist, as we all know).

But you are gaslighting when you try to deny that colleges are often reluctant to admit equally-qualified white applicants and businesses are reluctant to hire many, if any, white applicants.

It’s racism and it’s real. If you need to, call it “reverse racism.” Or call it discrimination or race-based discrimination, if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains:

- racism is real. Stop defending racism.


Both of my white boys have gotten into multiple colleges and gotten prestigious internships and jobs in the last 4 years. I’m just not seeing it. Have they gotten into every college or gotten an offer for every single job or internship? No.
Anonymous
^^ They both received generous merit aid from colleges, despite our high HHI.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The other thread on this has been eye-opening.

I'm beginning to see how Trump won. He's a voice for the marginalized and straight white dudes now see themselves that way due to overzealous DEI practices.

I find some DEI practices a bit too restrictive. We had a female employee give notice and to maintain a "good ratio" on our team, my supervisor said the new hire had to be a woman. So boobs > qualifications, cool.


I think it's situations like this, which happen, that have created a narrative for some portion of the population that white men (and sometimes white women too) are victims.

In many parts of life - working class jobs, college admissions, professional jobs - we have been told out loud that white people's piece of the pie needs to be smaller in whatever way we can make it happen. This is because their piece of the pie was way too big. But the white people alive right this minute in this time, they FEEL and they PERCEIVE that they are being squeezed out. And isn't life all about perceptions? They perceive their piece of the pie is shrinking (and maybe it is) and there is the same number of them and they're scrambling for someone to blame and an answer and a way to keep the piece of the pie for themselves and most importantly, their children.

I think this is important to talk about if we want to understand the rise of Trump. Dismissing it as "insane" is at our own peril.


First of all, the idea of limited resources is a fallacy.

Also, if you only feel comfortable discussing things with the concept that there are limited resources than the people, you should have a problem with other people that eat so much pie they are throwing up and have to give it to Africa because they have so much… billionaires.


Not getting it. It’s how people feel and what they see in their own lives. I got into Ivy school and my white kid cant. I’m up for promotion or prestigious thing and it never goes to a white person. People are telling you this in this thread and then the response is oh you’re wrong. Then people feel gaslit and they’re pissed.



Black people are not gatekeeping your child’s ability to get into an Ivy League school.

You realize that’s athletes and children of billionaires.

We are not gaslighting you we are telling you facts. The fact is your white male child did not get into an Ivy League school because an Asian, a white athlete, and a rich kid got ahead of him.

If you wanted him to get in, you should’ve done better and bought a building for the school.


NP: no, now you really are gaslighting, PP.

Look: we all know for the majority of the US’s history, it was impossible or nearly so, for a Black person to get into many universities other than HBCUs (which why HBCUs even exist, as we all know).

But you are gaslighting when you try to deny that colleges are often reluctant to admit equally-qualified white applicants and businesses are reluctant to hire many, if any, white applicants.

It’s racism and it’s real. If you need to, call it “reverse racism.” Or call it discrimination or race-based discrimination, if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains:

- racism is real. Stop defending racism.


Both of my white boys have gotten into multiple colleges and gotten prestigious internships and jobs in the last 4 years. I’m just not seeing it. Have they gotten into every college or gotten an offer for every single job or internship? No.


Then all must be fine for all men and boys. That's good to know. And you'll be sure to tell them that, when they are job hunting, too.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I want to speak specifically to the door holding thing:

20 years ago I was an intern in the US Senate and gave constituent tours. In between making up facts about the capitol building, I had to usher people through doors that required a badge swipe to access. Standard procedure was: I swipe my badge, open door, hold it as they all walk through, I close door and secure it.

This would *break* some of the men on my tours. Especially older men, but young ones too. They couldn't handle having a 20 yr old woman hold a door open for them. Some of them would try to forcibly take the door from me. Most would just stand there, waiting for me to go through the door before them. I would explain i had to go through last. They would persist, say things like "I wasn't raised that way."

It was a small inconvenience but it was also deranged and really stuck with me. Perhaps they just struggled with a rule that had always been drilled into them (ladies first). Or perhaps the role reversal felt like a loss of status and control.

But that's what I thought about when I read the thing about these men feeling like women didn't want them to hold open doors for them.

Only crazy progressive women get upset about men holding the doors for them.

Wrong. I'm not a crazy progressive and don't like it.


NP. And I’m a crazy progressive and I kinda like it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe they suddenly are experiencing a lack of sea parting for straight men in society and are having breakdowns and being crybabies. Mad because society has started to value competence and excellence over gender/race/physical appearance/stereotypes of what kind of people should be in what roles in society.


Agree. There is an idiom for this: when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.

An example is a study done in business meetings. When women spoke 25% of the time, men said that men and women spoke equally as often. When women spoke just 30% of the time, men said that women dominated the conversation. It objectively wasn’t true, but women only had to speak a little more for men to think they were dominating the conversation.

Men (esp white men of a certain age) were raised believing that they would be at the top of the food chain. And that’s still mostly true. But they have to share some of the spotlight now, and boy, they don’t like it.


I certainly think we have work to do regarding equality, but in my profession I have noticed that in the past 5-8 years literally ZERO white people have been given residencies, grants, fellowships or stipends in the DC area. Well, I think maybe there was one white woman but she was gay. So, as a white person, I have been going after every single thing and have been shut out. I'm not saying anything of course because the whole world would call me a Karen, but I guess I'm lucky my spouse makes a decent amount of money because I have totally stagnated despite being pretty damn talented and incredibly hard working.


Every group tries to help their own out. White men were getting their golfing buddies and frat bros in for years. So we start getting people of color and women into positions of power, they then start helping out their fellow women. That was the original point of DEI, to break up the boys club. For it to be a true meritocracy, everyone would have to stop helping out their friends, family, and people from their racial groups and that isn’t going to happen in the near future.


No, that's not it. White men are hiring, but they are not hiring white people. You have convinced them that everyone-but-white people deserve their chance. So that's who they are hiring.

It's not a meritocracy. It's something else.

This is how it's currently done in academia. White men hiring but only hiring people of color. Candidates often have to write a statement about how they will promote diversity in their work and teaching. It's going to weed out anyone who doesn't have "lived experience" and thar's probably the point. It's not really open to CIS white people though they can get adjunct/PT jobs.


I teach at a medical school in Omaha. White men are doing just fine here. And yet, they still voted for Trump.


There are maybe three non-white people in Nebraska, so that makes sense.


That’s not really true, but okay. If the reason men are voting for Trump is because of DEI and because whites men can’t get jobs, then why are white medical students in Omaha voting for him? They don’t have issues with DEI or getting jobs.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The other thread on this has been eye-opening.

I'm beginning to see how Trump won. He's a voice for the marginalized and straight white dudes now see themselves that way due to overzealous DEI practices.

I find some DEI practices a bit too restrictive. We had a female employee give notice and to maintain a "good ratio" on our team, my supervisor said the new hire had to be a woman. So boobs > qualifications, cool.


I think it's situations like this, which happen, that have created a narrative for some portion of the population that white men (and sometimes white women too) are victims.

In many parts of life - working class jobs, college admissions, professional jobs - we have been told out loud that white people's piece of the pie needs to be smaller in whatever way we can make it happen. This is because their piece of the pie was way too big. But the white people alive right this minute in this time, they FEEL and they PERCEIVE that they are being squeezed out. And isn't life all about perceptions? They perceive their piece of the pie is shrinking (and maybe it is) and there is the same number of them and they're scrambling for someone to blame and an answer and a way to keep the piece of the pie for themselves and most importantly, their children.

I think this is important to talk about if we want to understand the rise of Trump. Dismissing it as "insane" is at our own peril.


First of all, the idea of limited resources is a fallacy.

Also, if you only feel comfortable discussing things with the concept that there are limited resources than the people, you should have a problem with other people that eat so much pie they are throwing up and have to give it to Africa because they have so much… billionaires.


Not getting it. It’s how people feel and what they see in their own lives. I got into Ivy school and my white kid cant. I’m up for promotion or prestigious thing and it never goes to a white person. People are telling you this in this thread and then the response is oh you’re wrong. Then people feel gaslit and they’re pissed.



Black people are not gatekeeping your child’s ability to get into an Ivy League school.

You realize that’s athletes and children of billionaires.

We are not gaslighting you we are telling you facts. The fact is your white male child did not get into an Ivy League school because an Asian, a white athlete, and a rich kid got ahead of him.

If you wanted him to get in, you should’ve done better and bought a building for the school.


NP: no, now you really are gaslighting, PP.

Look: we all know for the majority of the US’s history, it was impossible or nearly so, for a Black person to get into many universities other than HBCUs (which why HBCUs even exist, as we all know).

But you are gaslighting when you try to deny that colleges are often reluctant to admit equally-qualified white applicants and businesses are reluctant to hire many, if any, white applicants.

It’s racism and it’s real. If you need to, call it “reverse racism.” Or call it discrimination or race-based discrimination, if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains:

- racism is real. Stop defending racism.


NP.

Agree.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The other thread on this has been eye-opening.

I'm beginning to see how Trump won. He's a voice for the marginalized and straight white dudes now see themselves that way due to overzealous DEI practices.

I find some DEI practices a bit too restrictive. We had a female employee give notice and to maintain a "good ratio" on our team, my supervisor said the new hire had to be a woman. So boobs > qualifications, cool.


I think it's situations like this, which happen, that have created a narrative for some portion of the population that white men (and sometimes white women too) are victims.

In many parts of life - working class jobs, college admissions, professional jobs - we have been told out loud that white people's piece of the pie needs to be smaller in whatever way we can make it happen. This is because their piece of the pie was way too big. But the white people alive right this minute in this time, they FEEL and they PERCEIVE that they are being squeezed out. And isn't life all about perceptions? They perceive their piece of the pie is shrinking (and maybe it is) and there is the same number of them and they're scrambling for someone to blame and an answer and a way to keep the piece of the pie for themselves and most importantly, their children.

I think this is important to talk about if we want to understand the rise of Trump. Dismissing it as "insane" is at our own peril.


First of all, the idea of limited resources is a fallacy.

Also, if you only feel comfortable discussing things with the concept that there are limited resources than the people, you should have a problem with other people that eat so much pie they are throwing up and have to give it to Africa because they have so much… billionaires.


Not getting it. It’s how people feel and what they see in their own lives. I got into Ivy school and my white kid cant. I’m up for promotion or prestigious thing and it never goes to a white person. People are telling you this in this thread and then the response is oh you’re wrong. Then people feel gaslit and they’re pissed.



Black people are not gatekeeping your child’s ability to get into an Ivy League school.

You realize that’s athletes and children of billionaires.

We are not gaslighting you we are telling you facts. The fact is your white male child did not get into an Ivy League school because an Asian, a white athlete, and a rich kid got ahead of him.

If you wanted him to get in, you should’ve done better and bought a building for the school.


NP: no, now you really are gaslighting, PP.

Look: we all know for the majority of the US’s history, it was impossible or nearly so, for a Black person to get into many universities other than HBCUs (which why HBCUs even exist, as we all know).

But you are gaslighting when you try to deny that colleges are often reluctant to admit equally-qualified white applicants and businesses are reluctant to hire many, if any, white applicants.

It’s racism and it’s real. If you need to, call it “reverse racism.” Or call it discrimination or race-based discrimination, if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains:

- racism is real. Stop defending racism.


So they are equally qualified and you’re mad. That’s not racism. They are qualified.

Your kid didn’t get in because he’s not a good athlete.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The other thread on this has been eye-opening.

I'm beginning to see how Trump won. He's a voice for the marginalized and straight white dudes now see themselves that way due to overzealous DEI practices.

I find some DEI practices a bit too restrictive. We had a female employee give notice and to maintain a "good ratio" on our team, my supervisor said the new hire had to be a woman. So boobs > qualifications, cool.


I think it's situations like this, which happen, that have created a narrative for some portion of the population that white men (and sometimes white women too) are victims.

In many parts of life - working class jobs, college admissions, professional jobs - we have been told out loud that white people's piece of the pie needs to be smaller in whatever way we can make it happen. This is because their piece of the pie was way too big. But the white people alive right this minute in this time, they FEEL and they PERCEIVE that they are being squeezed out. And isn't life all about perceptions? They perceive their piece of the pie is shrinking (and maybe it is) and there is the same number of them and they're scrambling for someone to blame and an answer and a way to keep the piece of the pie for themselves and most importantly, their children.

I think this is important to talk about if we want to understand the rise of Trump. Dismissing it as "insane" is at our own peril.


First of all, the idea of limited resources is a fallacy.

Also, if you only feel comfortable discussing things with the concept that there are limited resources than the people, you should have a problem with other people that eat so much pie they are throwing up and have to give it to Africa because they have so much… billionaires.


Not getting it. It’s how people feel and what they see in their own lives. I got into Ivy school and my white kid cant. I’m up for promotion or prestigious thing and it never goes to a white person. People are telling you this in this thread and then the response is oh you’re wrong. Then people feel gaslit and they’re pissed.



Black people are not gatekeeping your child’s ability to get into an Ivy League school.

You realize that’s athletes and children of billionaires.

We are not gaslighting you we are telling you facts. The fact is your white male child did not get into an Ivy League school because an Asian, a white athlete, and a rich kid got ahead of him.

If you wanted him to get in, you should’ve done better and bought a building for the school.


NP: no, now you really are gaslighting, PP.

Look: we all know for the majority of the US’s history, it was impossible or nearly so, for a Black person to get into many universities other than HBCUs (which why HBCUs even exist, as we all know).

But you are gaslighting when you try to deny that colleges are often reluctant to admit equally-qualified white applicants and businesses are reluctant to hire many, if any, white applicants.

It’s racism and it’s real. If you need to, call it “reverse racism.” Or call it discrimination or race-based discrimination, if it makes you feel better. But the fact remains:

- racism is real. Stop defending racism.


NP.

Agree.


If being bad at lax makes your rejection racism then I guess it’s racism. 😂🤔
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe they suddenly are experiencing a lack of sea parting for straight men in society and are having breakdowns and being crybabies. Mad because society has started to value competence and excellence over gender/race/physical appearance/stereotypes of what kind of people should be in what roles in society.


Agree. There is an idiom for this: when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.

An example is a study done in business meetings. When women spoke 25% of the time, men said that men and women spoke equally as often. When women spoke just 30% of the time, men said that women dominated the conversation. It objectively wasn’t true, but women only had to speak a little more for men to think they were dominating the conversation.

Men (esp white men of a certain age) were raised believing that they would be at the top of the food chain. And that’s still mostly true. But they have to share some of the spotlight now, and boy, they don’t like it.


I certainly think we have work to do regarding equality, but in my profession I have noticed that in the past 5-8 years literally ZERO white people have been given residencies, grants, fellowships or stipends in the DC area. Well, I think maybe there was one white woman but she was gay. So, as a white person, I have been going after every single thing and have been shut out. I'm not saying anything of course because the whole world would call me a Karen, but I guess I'm lucky my spouse makes a decent amount of money because I have totally stagnated despite being pretty damn talented and incredibly hard working.


Every group tries to help their own out. White men were getting their golfing buddies and frat bros in for years. So we start getting people of color and women into positions of power, they then start helping out their fellow women. That was the original point of DEI, to break up the boys club. For it to be a true meritocracy, everyone would have to stop helping out their friends, family, and people from their racial groups and that isn’t going to happen in the near future.


No, that's not it. White men are hiring, but they are not hiring white people. You have convinced them that everyone-but-white people deserve their chance. So that's who they are hiring.

It's not a meritocracy. It's something else.

This is how it's currently done in academia. White men hiring but only hiring people of color. Candidates often have to write a statement about how they will promote diversity in their work and teaching. It's going to weed out anyone who doesn't have "lived experience" and thar's probably the point. It's not really open to CIS white people though they can get adjunct/PT jobs.


I teach at a medical school in Omaha. White men are doing just fine here. And yet, they still voted for Trump.


There are maybe three non-white people in Nebraska, so that makes sense.


That’s not really true, but okay. If the reason men are voting for Trump is because of DEI and because whites men can’t get jobs, then why are white medical students in Omaha voting for him? They don’t have issues with DEI or getting jobs.


Have you asked them? They may not (do not) agree with you.
Anonymous
I think the most difficult aspect for the men and boys I know is that women are out-competing them for grades, then internships, then jobs. And these are the same women turning them down for dates or expecting a different kind of relationship that many of the men had modeled for them by their parents. And for a variety of reasons these women don’t view themselves as needing a man, including to have children. Though having children, which in general solidified the nan as primary earner with the more important career, is decreasingly appealing to women who have other chooses.

There used to be a saying that a wife was a husband’s “ball and chain”, but that’s reversing as a societal view as at least wealthy career successful women are asking at times what they’d need a man for.

It’s a big shift. And big shifts hurt and it takes time to adjust. But really, as between the genders, it’s a question of both genders competing equitably for schools and jobs, and each person making it worth another persons love and investment to commit to a relationship.
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