Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to laugh at the pearl--clutchers here. You can get yourself clean without a wash cloth, okay? You don't rub a bar of soap in your butt; you rub the soap and lather up and then wash your parts.

Some of you need to unclench.

+1. I’ve found that people who don’t understand washing yourself by lathering up your hands are the ones with questionable bathroom habits…like, they can’t understand how you could get clean without a washcloth to scrub the “crust” off 😬

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chapelle’s show did a wife swap skit where the white family didn’t use wash cloths, and the black dad is appalled they all use the same bar of soap directly on their bodies.

At 1:20 here:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrq01UB05Vc

Well he's not wrong, how are you going to rub a bar of soap in your butt hole then wash you face with it? Gross.

Soap delayers, it doesn’t absorb every speck of smell, grime, sweat or bacteria for next time.
Take your pubes off though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost zero exposure to pop culture/what was generally popular with kids and adults at the time (mid to late 80s through late 90s) because my parents hated everything. No music - we could listen to the radio in the car on certain stations like the “70s, 80s, 90s mix” type stations on short trips. Anything else was horrible and inappropriate and my parents would rather sit in silence or listen to news and weather radio type stations.

No movies in theaters, but we could watch Disney and family type movies only on VHS or on TV in the basement only. No cable TV allowed but my parents would watch some of the popular network shows.

When I got a little older and I had my own money from birthday/Christmas gifts or babysitting, I wasn’t allowed to buy teen magazines because they were trash, wasn’t allowed to buy certain CD’s and music because they were also trash, they did let up on movies though as long as I paid for the tickets myself and either got my own ride or they could just drop me off and pick me up later. It was just overall very weird and controlling behavior.

Whoa. I thought I blacked out last night and wrote this. My childhood was the same and I still don’t understand it. I had to read teen magazines in the library. Luckily my town had a $1 second run movie theater, so once I was in MS and HS and could find a ride I did catch up on some movies. My parents didn’t play music radio ever, only incessant talk radio and NPR, but if they were stressed car rides were silent. I often wonder if they might have had autism or similar disorders.

PP here and I definitely think my mom is on the spectrum. My dad just sort of went along. They are also both very Catholic BUT also had/still have some vaguely New Agey beliefs about your “energy” and what you “attract” and stuff like that. It doesn’t even seem all that contradictory to me to be Catholic and New Agey/hippie/etc. because a lot of Christian denominations believe that certain stuff/activities let in “demons” and this is basically the same thing.

I absolutely devoured the teen mags at the public library, and my school library had a few too! And the magazine section at Borders was my favorite place. Or I’d ask a friend who had a subscription to bring them to school so I could read them before school and at lunch and I’d just leave them in my locker until I was done because my parents would 100% throw them out if I had them at home, learned that the hard way.

[Anonymous]

My parents somehow knew all these things even though they grew up poor. But one thing that stood out to me- I was taught that if you thank someone in person, you do not have to write a thank you note. I’ve recently gotten the impression this is not universal, and I may have come off as rude by not writing a note too.

[Anonymous]

So a washcloth for every shower? 14 per personnper week?

My butt has its own bar of soap.
We each have our own bathroom.
I don't use soap on my face I use face wash mousse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So a washcloth for every shower? 14 per personnper week?

My butt has its own bar of soap.
We each have our own bathroom.
I don't use soap on my face I use face wash mousse.

You need two daily showers?

I've never used a wash cloth though I use various other sponges/loofas and don't change them daily. According to DCUM I'm uncivilized but I have zero skin or odor problems.

[Anonymous]

The importance of hand written Thank you nites

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So a washcloth for every shower? 14 per personnper week?

My butt has its own bar of soap.
We each have our own bathroom.
I don't use soap on my face I use face wash mousse.

We use about 20 per week. Face, shower, quick wipe of face if you come in from outside and feel itchy? They barely take up any laundry space and we just throw them in with the weekly towel load.

I didn’t grow up this way, but once you go washcloth you can’t go back. DH converted with me and DD was raised as a washcloth native.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents somehow knew all these things even though they grew up poor. But one thing that stood out to me- I was taught that if you thank someone in person, you do not have to write a thank you note. I’ve recently gotten the impression this is not universal, and I may have come off as rude by not writing a note too.

You have the rule correctly. Some people are overanxious about thank you notes, akin to avoiding the word niggardly. It is a mistake but well intentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So a washcloth for every shower? 14 per personnper week?

My butt has its own bar of soap.
We each have our own bathroom.
I don't use soap on my face I use face wash mousse.

We use about 20 per week. Face, shower, quick wipe of face if you come in from outside and feel itchy? They barely take up any laundry space and we just throw them in with the weekly towel load.

I didn’t grow up this way, but once you go washcloth you can’t go back. DH converted with me and DD was raised as a washcloth native.

I was raised with them and hate them! I hate how they feel, like it's wrong to soak fabric that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents somehow knew all these things even though they grew up poor. But one thing that stood out to me- I was taught that if you thank someone in person, you do not have to write a thank you note. I’ve recently gotten the impression this is not universal, and I may have come off as rude by not writing a note too.

I grew up upper middle class and was taught that also. Sometimes we would write a thank you note anyway - if we really loved the gift, or were moved to have gotten one or really love the gift-giver. But etiquette says we don't have to.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This all illustrates lack of socialization. The parents’ and thus the kids’.

Imagine how many kids continued to. It socialize or realize there were “other ways of doing things” and just continue on.

Sort of. I know that my mother was very well socialized by her parents. But she was a horrible raving lunatic — and that seemed to have prevented her from picking any of it up permanently and definitely prevented her from teaching any of it to us.

Socialized means beyond manners and etiquette and cultural normals; it means you went out weekly and interacted with other families and ages groups. At temple, at restaurants, when traveling, had/at parties, went to sports games or arts, wandered museums, visited friends and family in person.

You socialized with other humans. Not the tv. Not only your parents.

I feel like cultural norms vary though. You can't know manners in every setting and culture even with the "best upbringing".

Well read people or people who socialize across various circles or many circles do. Besides reading or picking up on others’ cultural nuances, you can first hand just follow their lead.

Ex. when I lived in Asia I did not pee down the storm drains nor hack up phlegm out in public or my house multiple times a day. But totally acceptable there!

I highly doubt peeing down the drain is normal in any country. Or was it a slum you visited?
Kind of like a visitor will think drug dealing is totally acceptable in the US if they just visited Skid row.

China does this. They even get off the coach bus in Copley square and allow young children to pee down the storm drains. Have seen it.

Our LatAm nanny also taught our girls, when age 2-5, to go pee in the bushes at the playground. Easy peasy. We corrected this all at home.

When I lived in Spain in the 80s, people did this with little kids in the parks and sometimes just off the sidewalks. I don't know if it's done there anymore.

[Anonymous]

I shower in the morning and before bed.
I use paper towels to wipe face coming in from outside.

[Anonymous]

I never learned how to use chopsticks until i was an adult. Never knew i should take my shoes off inside a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I shower in the morning and before bed.
I use paper towels to wipe face coming in from outside.

Are you working outside doing manual labor? If not, it’s super wasteful and actually bad for your skin.